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It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50. At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup. 'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?' 'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'. 'I asked him what I should give you'. He said, 'F k him. Give him a fiver.' She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'

So, I'm just wondering, in the greater scheme of things, is it actually lawful to go to election with no clear desire or mandate to want to win? To simply waste all that advertising money, people's time, etc. etc. ad infinitum, without any clear plan to win election? We have a candidate in Australia, by the name of Pauline Hanson, who stirs up all sorts of hornet's nests, and never comes close to being elected, but she gets paid a fifth of a million if she gets x amount of votes. She's just declared that she's running again, for the third time. Nobody (probably inclluding herself) expects her to get in, but the usual suspects will vote for her on her white Australia policies alone. It's a rort for sure. She used to own a fish and chippery.

Any thoughts that the repubs don't want the job, in light of the current economic climate?

Hope your birthday has a very progressive outcome, ol' mate. :yes: Oh, and many happy returns.

That makes no sense. Niether does politics in general, JAW, but let's move on, shall we? I still see no clear winner in the stakes of which conservative candidate could be a viable alternative to the current administrator, that being a Kenyan half-breed, with an impeccable and seemingly flawless academic resume.

It looks much the same as on my laptop, Bob. Anywhere closer to the top of the page would be fine. Thanks, Buddy.

Two questions; Why is this a debate topic? Fox noos is the dumbing down of the real news for the masses. Second question; If you want real news, why watch Fox? You have every news service at your fingertips, unless of course you don't have a clue how to search the interknob. If that is the case, watch Fox Noos.

Any chance of getting this link back up towards the top of the front page, Bob? http://Off Topic Forum.com/index.php?app=core&module=search&do=active I'm on the mobile mostly, and it's a major pain to scroll right to the bottom to see the active threads.

I know this is from a socialist website, but is it the reality of the situation? I'm not hearing much good news about the US jobs market at all over here in booming Australia. US tax data shows falling wages, rising inequality By Andre Damon and Tom Eley 6 November 2010 Average annual wages for US workers fell by $457 in 2009 and the median annual wage fell by $247 to $26,261, according to recently updated data from the Social Security Administration (SSA). Meanwhile, the incomes of the top-earning corporate executives barely budged in 2009. The pay of the handful of individuals making over $50 million fell by about 7 percent 2009, despite the fact that stocks fell in value by 40 percent, demolishing the claim that executive bonuses are tied to corporate “performance.” Last year, in the midst of 10 percent unemployment, a relative handful of Americans lived as royalty. In 2009 there were 3,689 individuals who made between $5 million and $10 million, and 1,618 who made $10 million or more, including 425 who made $20 million, and 72 who brought in $50 million or more These 5,307 tax filers, equivalent to the population of a small town, together took home about $57.62 billion in 2009, about $8 billion more than the bottom 24 million households filing taxes, and a staggering 10 percent of all income earned in the US.

Health Care Bill. Not a George Bush move. It was GW's expansion of Medicare that made Obamacare possible. Actually, while I agree with Medicare as a concept, the claim forms are wide open to Doctor abuse. One of my sisters works for the gov solely tracking doctor abuse of the Medicare system, so, while the system does benefit the end user, the suppliers need close monitoring to stop them rorting the system. Shame that. All that education, and still a criminal at heart.

Hey TJ.. doesn't your son collect a monthly check from the federal government, and receive free government housing and free government healthcare just like you did after the failure of your worm farm? Where's that money come from? Please explain.. Tj had a worm farm that failed? OMFG. What happened, Tj? Did you feed them your own detritus or something? How does a bloke fail at worm farming? Too progressive, or something?

Paddy and Seamus were on searchlight duty, looking out for Luftwaffe bombers. Paddy was getting bored shitless, so he suggested to Seamus that he climb out on the searchlight beam to get a better look around. Seamus said, "Sure and all, and I'll get halfway up there, and you'll turn the bloody thing off."

A friend of mine just started his own business. He makes landmines that look like Muslim prayer mats. He says he's doing well. Prophets are going through the roof.

Henry Kissinger arrived at Hell's gate to a warm welcome from Satan himself, "So, Henry, tell me what you really like." says Satan. "Well, I lived a long and happy life, and I like most things in life." "Do you like to have a drink?" asked Satan. "Sure, I don't mind a little drink in moderation". "Well," said Satan, " you'll love Mondays, all the booze you can drink, and because we're all really dead, there's no hangovers at all. Drink till you drop, and wake up fine." " Do you like food, Henry?" says Satan "Sure, I love to eat good food". "Well," said Satan, you'll love Tuesdays, all the food you can eat, and no worries about getting fat, because we're all dead anyways. Eat till you drop, and wake up fine." "What about drugs, Henry?" says Satan. "Do you like to have an altered consciousness?" "Well, I must say that I did try some pot in my younger days, and I did have some coke, just to see what all the fuss is about, so yeah, I don't have any issues with drugs". "Well, you'll love Wednesdays", says Satan, "All the drugs you can handle, and seeing as we're all dead anyways, you know the rest.". "What about anal sex, Henry?" says Satan. " You like anal sex?" "Well, that's a topic the wife and I never really talked about, so no, I don't think I'd like anal sex." says Henry "Well," says Satan, "You're gonna hate Thursdays."

The smart blonde joke. Eddo was boarding a flight from west to east, and hoping for someone to chat with. Low and behold, a gorgeous blonde was already seated when he approached. She was reading a book, and as Eddo adjusted his seatbelt, he eyed the title of the book. Something about nuclear physics. Eddo cleared his throat a couple of times, to no avail, then tried the direct approach; "Eerrrm, I've heard that these long flights seem to go a lot quicker if your strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you." says Eddo. The blonde rolled her eyes, closed her book on her thumb, and said,"So, what would you like to talk about?" Eddo looked around for a spell, and ventured, "How about nuclear physics?" Blondie said,"Okay, but first up, how about you answer a rather simple question that's been on my mind for a while? There's these three animals, a goat, a horse, and a cow. All three eat grass, but a goat shits out these hard little pebbles, a horse drops these muffin-shaped soft turds, and a cow drops these mushy flat pancakes. Why do you think there is such a difference between the three animal faeces, when they all eat grass?" Eddo looks around the plane cabin for a short while, shrugs non-committally, and says," I really have no idea." The blonde says,"Well, what makes you think you're qualified to talk about nuclear physics, when you don't know sh t?"