Cassiopeia

I know that is true. It's simply that IRL I have seen some very callous treatment of children(one of my neighbors), and it is doing a good job of eliminating my faith in people.

It sickens me that you think pedophilia is something to joke about. At least I hope you are joking, otherwise God help any children in your life.

Hey sick fuck. My kid is 8 years old. You really sure that you want to post something like that? Even in jest, comments like that are taking it WAY too far dude.

Yeah, thats the truth... But some places here are a hell of a lot scarier than others. Let us not forget that Texas is also the home of the infamous Leslie....

NazzNegg, Thankyou for your response. I was reacting(yes, my error I realize) to Lashton's post. Had a bad day at work, and reacted accordingly...I know I shouldn't have. It would have been better to be much more calm when reading what that person wrote. What you said did ring true. I had reacted defensively to you before, and when I was able to sit back and read through the things that "raised my hackles", I felt more able to address it. I am defensive of my parenting, due to issues that actually have nothing to do with my life with my son. It's taking time for me to work through them, but I am making headway, certainly. As to denying myself love? I am not there yet. I was badly hurt by the circumstances of my divorce, and am not emotionally ready to handle trying love again. I want to believe it is out there for me, but I also feel that I am not in a good place to offer someone's heart a welcome home. I am still very insecure about my standing with men, and want to make sure that I am 1) Financially independent 2)Emotionally independent 3) Socially secure among other things, before opening myself up to love again. I have come a long way in the past three years. I was agorophobic when my ex left. Terrified. When we moved from the home I had shared with him, I not only found myself able to get out and about on my own, but began working in a job that required constant contact with many people every day(retail), and have even been able to go out at night on occasion by myself, without cowering in the corner hoping that no one would notice me. To many, these things might seem inconsequential, but I can tell you that these were major accomplishments for me. I have a lot to be proud of, but a lot of work ahead of me as well. Anyway, thankyou for talking with me. Sorry we started off so rough, but I am glad that we are able to talk.

Forget it. I came in here to clarify a few points, due to something NazzNegg said that rang true. I did NOT come in here to be blasted by people who ADAMANTLY refuse to consider the possibility that I(being someone that they do not even KNOW) just might be speaking the truth. Damn it, I realize that I am not perfect. I make plenty of mistakes. I also KNOW however that I am a hardworking single mother, who is doing everything humanly possible to be both Mom and Dad to a child that deserves both in his life, but unfortunately has been denied his father(by his father). I am not remiss in acknowledging the hard won battles. I have fought my way through hell, and have come out of it strong, and happy. I KNOW the child I have, and I KNOW the life that I live. I am proud of that life, and have EVERY reason to be. If you cannot accept that, then that truly is your problem. It truly saddens me that it seems to be impossible for some people to believe that there really might actually BE a good mom out there, but all in all, oh well. So, I gave it a couple of shots...but I truly am not willing to waste my time on trying to convince hateful people of the truth. Good night.

Ok, I will give this one more shot. well I apologize for misspelling your name. Doing right by my child? Well, it's simple, really. When he was very young, obviously it began with the basics of making sure his immediate needs were met. Above and beyond that, were a myriad of other things, that made him feel loved. Giving him my time and attention, socializing him, teaching him right from wrong, reading to him from an early age, so that he picked up on it early.(He was reading books on his own before kinder, and is now on a 6th grade reading level in 3rd grade.) After his father left, there was a lot more involved in doing right by him, because it became more and more obvious that I would be the ONLY parent, effectively. When his father and I "had it out" about his affair, my son was at school. His father moved out that day(before school let out), but when he came back over the weekend to pick up his things, I insisted that we tell our son together that we were going to get a divorce. I made sure that my son knew(and still make sure he knows) that the divorce was no where near his fault, and that it simply happened because his father and I could not live together any more. Unfortunately, his father couldn't stick to the story. He not only moved the girlfriend he cheated with in with him immediately, but got her pregnant within 2 months. All this happening while he essentially ignored his son...calling and telling him he would see him the following weekend, then calling me to tell me he couldn't come see him, because he was out of gas money, or because she wanted to do something that weekend, so he would have to reschedule his visit with our son. I have spent a lot of time, over the past 3 years undoing the damage that my ex leaves in his wake. Most recently a trip that my ex took to disney world (via a disney cruise) with the girlfriend, her daughter, and their son. My son was not invited.(told by his father that he didn't invite him because he lives with me. Despite the fact that in private, I made it clear to my ex that he was welcome to take Jordan.) Yet they were "kind"enough to show him all the pictures from the trip, and the souvenirs that they bought for themselves, and that the other kids came home with. I will admit that there have been many times that I have been tempted to blast my ex in front of my son, but I haven't done it. I won't do that to my child. I WANT him to have a good relationship with his father. I have done everything in my power to facilitate that, but I cannot force the man to visit his son. I don't speak negatively about him to my child. Just as I do not talk negatively about my ex's child with the girlfriend. This child is my son's half brother, and despite the child's origins, I encourage a good relationship between he and his brother. Family is important. Of COURSE, I was hurt by the way things went with my ex. It kills me every time I see my childs' heart break due to his fathers' callousness. But I have not, and will not contribute to his heartbreak by fighting with his dad, in front of him or not. I keep a blog, for that very reason, as well as attend a divorce group once a week. These things help me to vent my frustrations without causing my son to be in the line of fire. I have moved on with my life, but have simply chosen to not move on with another man. A relationship is not a priority for me right now. My son, my work, my education(I am going back to school), and maintaining my home and my financial stability...those are my priorities. Perhaps one day I will make room for a relationship, but not right now. I have too much else on my plate, and I refuse to allow myself to get into the position I was in before. When I enter into a relationship next, I will be standing on my own 2 feet, and can have a relationship that is on equal footing. Depending on my undependable ex was my biggest mistake, and one that I have learned from.

NazzNeg, Whatever. I mean, really. You don't know me at all, and to make all these assumptions, well...it just shows that you are unwilling to accept that there might be some people out there that do right by their kids. What I told you is fact. You can accept it or not, it makes no difference to me. I know who I am, and how I live my life. Thats what matters, and not your miniscule little opinion. You are right. I could easily have taken the time away from my child, that he needed after his Dad left. I could have gone out with men, and found him another daddy... BUT, thats not who I am. I feel it is more important to be independent, and a strong constant figure in my child's life...especially since his father essentially abandoned him for another woman and the ready made family she had. However you are going to see things as you see them. I am not interested any longer in trying to show you your errored thinking. You don't know me, and apparently will never know me, as you have already decided(through a computer screen, no less) exactly who you think I am. Too bad that you will never know how wrong you are. I am not going to waste my time with this anymore.

Couldn't be more wrong. As a matter of fact, every single thing you said was about as far off as a person can get. 1. His opinion onanything. I value what my child has to say. He doesn't always get his way, but he has learned that I will listen to him and consider what he has to say. It has taught him to present a good case. Not a bad thing. 2. My not dating anyone has to do with the fact that I do not have tiime to waste on men right now. Fucking someone is not a priority, but raising my son in a good, healthy, loving environment is. I don't need a man to facilitate that. I am extremely busy trying to make a good life for my child and myself. I get along great with people, but have no tolerance for assholes or idiots. 3. Despite the shitty things his father has done, both then and now, I have CONSISTENTLY encouraged a relationship between my son and his father. I have gone out of my way to facilitate it.(To the point of giving my ex money so he would have no excuse not to take our son to a movie.) I have never spoken ill of his father. To this day, my son has NO idea what the real reason behind the divorce is.As far as he knows, his father and I just couldn't live together any more. Funny...in reading your response to me, the only person who seems bitter is you, NazzNeg. A woman do you wrong somewhere?

True, children should not be visiting this forum, but that is neither here nor there. What does it say about a person, when the insulting resorts to being nasty about someones' kids? If someone has a problem with me, I expect them to be mature enough to take it up with ME, and not bring my children into it. Anything else is cowardly, as I see it. When someone resorts to that, it tells me that the reason behind the insulting in the first place is based on little more than hormonal, pissy behavior with no grounds in reality.

Actually, I disagree. I have no need of providing proof to you regarding who I am, or why I am. I owe you nothing, as you are nothing more than words on a screen to me, at this point in my involvement in this forum. I barely know anyone here, therefore my life is not as yet an open book. As to looking to my son for approval, that is not the case. His opinion matters to me, yes, but not because I need his approval. It matters to me because he is a human being, not a robot. I do not run a dictatorship in my house. We have some pretty strict rules, but I encourage him to be open with me. If my son feels unhappy, or displeased about something, I want him to be comfortable talking to me about it. About the asshole #2, no, there isn't. I don't have the time to waste on a man right now, and I won't let just anybody into my life or my son's life. My ex and I separated 3 years ago. He moved on before he left. I haven't even gone out on a date since. My son comes first. Think what you want to think. Doesn't matter one bit to me. I still stand behind my belief that it is inherently wrong to bring people's children into an argument, or fight.

No proof necessary. The only person whose opinion I care about is my child's. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other what people here think of me personally. I didn't start this thread to debate about myself anyway. Original intention was simply to state that it isn't right to bring people's kids into an insult war.

I feel that violence in a relationship, coming from either direction, is unacceptable. It amazes me that there are some couples out there that seem to thrive on it. If either party feels that their only option is to act or react with violence, then that relationship doesn't need to continue. I have always been an advocate of the battered womens shelters, but I feel that there should be comparable options out there for men. There are too many cases where the man is the one getting hit, yet when he calls the police, HE is the one that gets arrested, simply because of his size, compared to the womans. It's not right, but it is all too common. I was hit ONE time, in a relationship that I had been in for 18 months. He hit me...I hit the floor...I stood up, called a cab, packed a bag, and moved out that night, leaving him begging for forgiveness. I went back to get my things a week later, and never saw him again after that.

You know, I did spend a short period of time thinking that exact thing, but then I realized that my SINGLE lapse in judgement resulted in a child that has proven to be the best part of my life. He, on the other hand, made multiple lapses of judgement that caused him to be tossed out on his ass. No comparison.

I know that it is schoolyard tactics....but it is one thing that gets to me. I do view kids as innocents...even if they have shithead parents. My kid has a shithead dad, and I am here to tell you that he is a GREAT kid, despite that. Other than that, people can spew anything they want and it will just roll off my back. LOL