DarkShadow

Sorry for double post... I looked for sites like that and the minimum order amount is always at least 250. I'm not about to order 250 of them when I only need one. They can't print copyrighted images anyway. But it's a good idea though. Thanks.

I might head up to Hot Topic in the next couple weeks or so. I'll have my car by then. My parents are making me wait until we get Progress Reports from school, and I have an A in all of my classes so far, so I'll most likely get my car that weekend. And I can't fucking wait. I'm already in love with it. haha

Yeah, but to be honest, I'd rather just buy it from somewhere. I'm really surprised that they haven't made one for the LP Merch site yet...they used to have the old logo stickers on there for cars.

I've looked on ebay and LP's merch site. I figured if it's not there, it won't be in stores. I've tried every music merch site I know of too. No such luck. =[

I've been looking EVERYWHERE for a white sticker of the new LP logo. You know, the new Minutes to Midnight one that's in a circle. I wanna put it on the top of my rear window of my car, but I can't find it anywhere. It's really starting to make me mad...so if anyone knows where I could get one, PLEASE let me know. Thanks.

I think it's in every show. But there may be some variations with it in each performance. He did it in Charlotte, NC. And it was fucking amazing. =]

I win. Everything.

Yeah. haha I'll keep all that in mind. Thanks guys.

Yes. That's basically what I meant. But what I'm thinking is that by improving and changing myself, that maybe the same things that will be good for me as far as changes, will be good in her eyes too. And then maybe things will work out. I might be a little too hopeful though.

As much as that makes sense, and as much as I have to agree with you, it still isn't going to make me not want to keep trying. Maybe I won't change myself for HER, but continue changing myself to make ME happy, i.e. continue losing weight and becoming more respectable and all that. But I still can't just give up on her. Damn you, determination...

Well I'm changing for her, and myself. Thing is, my main goal is to get her back.

We were together for about 4 months. I know it isn't that long if you really think about it, but a lot can happen in that amount of time. There are a lot of little things that mattered to her, not sure if they still do though. A lot of little things mattered to me, I know that much. Hell, I even enjoyed helping her babysit her little brother, and helping her clean up the house a little bit. Things that aren't necessarily "fun" so to speak, but allow time to be spent together, and it really made me happy. I've thought about that when it comes to changing myself for her, and thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. But a lot of the things I'm changing will benefit me in the long run anyway. I've already lost nearly 20 pounds this past month, and I'm losing even more weight. I'm not saying everything that comes to mind, I'm not doing things that annoy the shit out of people, I'm going to be more mature in most situations, pay more attention in class, drive safer, start reading more, become more knowledgeable and respectable about things, and be an all around better person. And of course I'm trying to change a few things that will maybe grab her attention. But Iunno. I don't wanna change too much, but deep down, I feel that it's worth it to change who I am completely for her.

Thanks. I didn't mean to sound stubborn or anything before, but you know how things can be stressful. I might try to get one of her friends to talk to her. Problem is, I'm not that good of friends with any of her best friends. A couple people I could talk to come to mind though. So maybe I'll try that. Another thing is, she has to know I still have feelings for her. We've talked about it many times in the past since we've split up, and I asked her about a year ago if there was any chance we'd ever get back together, and she pretty much said she doubts it. I mean, that was a year ago and things may change, but I'm not totally sure. I just got out of bed after trying to sleep for an hour, and all I can think about is her. I thought maybe sometime I could pick her up and we could go somewhere and on the way there, maybe play 'our song' or something. Iunno if she'd remember it or not, or if it would even mean anything to her anymore. But I was thinking about that earlier. I guess I'll just have to sit down and talk to her sometime. Not sure when I will or what I'll say though. Thanks for the insight, though.

Well I wouldn't need to mention the "2 years thing" to her, because she was in the relationship too. So she's fully aware of how long it's been since she left me. And no, it's not "creepy". Trust me on that one. I've done some "creepy" things in my past. In fact, I was about your age. At least according to your LPF profile. ANYWAY, not trying to be a total douchebag, but I'd like an opinion from someone who's a little older.

Sorry in advance if it seems like I'm rambling on and on... ---- I still love my ex girlfriend from two years ago. I'd give anything to be with her again. I get over her sometimes, then fall right back into missing her more than anything else. I feel like a part of me is missing because she and I aren't together anymore. It's like when she left me, she took my heart with her. Now I find myself trying to change the way I do everything and change the way I look and act and everything, in hopes that I can get her back. I'm going this fucking far and taking such drastic measures, when I don't even know if the outcome will be what I want it to. I honestly doubt it will work out how I wish it would, but I just can't give up. She may not know that I still love her like that, because we talk casually as friends and stuff right now. I wanna bring up to her that I still feel that way, but then I'm afraid it'll be too awkward and she'll start to be distant from me again. Every once in awhile she does things that make me think that she still loves me too, but that's probably just me getting my hopes up like usual. Like, the other night, I was at her house, and we were just hanging out, watching tv and playing with her 3 year old little brother. Then a bunch of our friends came over, one of which has been my friend since I was in 4th grade. Another of which I haven't known for very long, but still know him rather well. Ben and Stephen, by the way. Anyway, I watched how Ben talked to her and made her laugh and everything. He doesn't like her like that, but it still makes me jealous. Stephen is one of her friends, and she sat in his lap for a little while when we went onto her back porch. But I noticed how much Ben and Stephen made her laugh and smile. Just like I used to. And for some reason, I feel like I can't measure up to that. I feel like I'm not good enough for her. Obviously I was two years ago, when I was still pretty fucking stupid and into drugs and suicidal, you know the deal. Now I'm not like that, and I'm just a lot more mellow. I've thought that maybe if she and I got back together again then I'd be more outgoing because she'd boost my self confidence higher than it's ever been. And seeing as she took my heart with her when she left me two years ago, if we got back together, I'd have it back, and I'd be happier than ever. But I feel like I'm not good enough for her. What really bothers me the most right now, though....is that last night I had a dream that she and I were dating, and I proposed to her. In the dream, of course she said yes, and it was all romantic and touching and all that. Then the dream like, fast forwarded and it was us cuddling in my bed, just whispering to eachother. I heard her say something like "Hey, baby...can I tell you something?" and then I woke up, and found myself saying "Yeah, baby you know you can tell me anything" only to open my eyes and see that I was laying alone in my bed. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but I just kinda laid there in shock for a minute. It started getting a little hard for me to breathe and I couldn't get back to sleep for another hour or two. Anyway, my point is, I just wish that I could be with her again. And that we could be together forever. Get married, have one or two kids, and be happy for the rest of our lives, you know? But I just don't know what to do. I don't know what I could do to make that wish come true. And trust me, I'd be willing to do whatever it takes.