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That's kinda scarey. The kid has some major problems. One so young shouldn't think about killing.

Congrats, Ali. Now that you're rich, I hope you don't forget us "little people".

SAILORISMS Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy-butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey sh t around a fitting on a handybilly. All of a sudden the...

A young woman goes to her doctor's office, afraid of the strange development on the inside of her thighs . . . a green spot on the inside of each. "They won't wash off, they won't scrape off and they seem to be getting worse." The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and...

Maxine took her car to her mechanic. She told him 'Every time I take any of my friends out in my car, after a while there is this terrible smell !! It never happens when I am driving alone'. This intrigued the mechanic, so he said, 'OK, lets go for a spin and see what the problem is.' Off...

Say there are two companies.... Company A, and Company B. I don't care what they produce/sell, let's say it's something everybody needs. The employees at Company A get a pay raise. Therefore, Company A's costs go up. To maintain their profit margin and lure investors, they have to raise...

Instructions if your mouse was not recalibrated for the new year. You should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended by Kim Kommando (the computer guru) if you spend a lot of time on the computer. I was shocked to see how well this works! To re-calibrate your mouse, click...

An interesting observation: 1 The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5 The sport of choice for...

A true story from ... "The Houston Herald Newspaper" Houston, Texas Last Thursday night around midnight, a woman from Houston, Texas, was arrested, jailed, and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man six times in the back as he was running away with her purse. The following Monday...

Happy Birthday, Ali. Hope you stop by to see this. We miss you. :'( You're as old as Jack Benny now.

WARNING - Politically Incorrect and Totally Insensitive - WARNING 1. In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa. 2. One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found...

Got this from a friend. This may not be the right place to post it.

Thanks for all your work, Cloaked. So how does it feel to be a minority? ;)

Happy Birthday Wez. Hope you have many, many more to come.

If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all.

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 500 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time...

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old orange Kubota tractor. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls...

I hope we can all agree that there are wackos on both ends of the political spectrum. They do not need rhetoric to fire them up - if there were none, they'd find another reason for violence.

Thanksgiving Divorce A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't...