A Blast from the Past (was Re: Wot th' hell II............)

M

mimus

Guest
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 14:28:38 -0400, mimus wrote:

> On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 14:20:53 -0400, dave hillstrom wrote:
>
>> On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 19:24:30 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 16:16:56 -0700, Aratzio wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 18:04:05 -0400, mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> got
>>>> double secret probation because:
>>>>
>>>>>On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 21:43:25 +0000, Aratzio wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 17:38:21 -0400, dave hillstrom <DaVe@MeOw.OrG>
>>>>>> transparently proposed:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 18:00:14 GMT, Aratzio <a6ahlyv02@sneakemail.com>
>>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>On Sat, 21 Apr 2007 13:26:46 -0400, dave hillstrom <DaVe@MeOw.OrG>
>>>>>>>>transparently proposed:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>On Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:06:16 -0700, Aratzio <a6ahlyv02@sneakemail.com>
>>>>>>>>>wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>On Fri, 20 Apr 2007 12:30:33 -0700, "Smee" <pscissons@roadrunner.com>
>>>>>>>>>>got double secret probation because:
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>151 posts and NONE of them by flonkers??
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>Smee
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Sad innit.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Does not seem to be a line tween the kooks & the kookologists any
>>>>>>>>>>more.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>people have been TELLING you that for YEARS, ratz. knoxy, rocky, even
>>>>>>>>>~me~. but does anyone ~listen~ to us?! noooooooooooooo.....
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Yes, but yer all kook wannabees, you do not count.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>uh huh.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I has in the past blurred a bit but I could always tell the
>>>>>>>>difference. Now there is little if any differentiation. RL info, gay
>>>>>>>>laming, threats, pretty big chuck of what were sane people seem to be
>>>>>>>>kooks now days.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>PS: I spend a lot more time in the flonk than I do AUK.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>grows on you, doesnt it. like athletes foot.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The level of inane is much higher but has a corresponding inverse
>>>>>> effect upon the level of lame.
>>>>>
>>>>>I take it I'll find those what must be special senses of "inanity" and
>>>>>"lameness" in the FAQ . . . .
>>>>
>>>> The is no FAQ, ONLY ZU'UL
>>>>
>>>>>I find it hard to conceive of any sense of the word "inanity" where auk
>>>>>and alt.flame don't hammer the Flonk hands down in terms of its presence.
>>>>
>>>> Why did you bring up the (f)lametards?
>>>
>>>It'd be nice to see Suzieflame's reaction to it all now.
>>>
>>>(I think she may've made the best post ever in af, assessing the locals,
>>>more or less, in terms of their suitability as marriage candidates . . . .)

>>
>> that WAS a ****ing awesome post.

>
> It was kinda heart-warming to see that she let robey raet off fairly
> lightly.


It took awhile to find it, but here it is:

QUOTE

From: Suzieflame <suzanna6...@my-deja.com>
Subject: Suzie picks a Usenet father for her children.
Date: 1999/09/29
Message-ID: <7st4ps$1vb$1@nnrp1.deja.com>

[Other headers snipped.]


This is it. I'm running through the potential sperm donation
candidates for my progeny. In no particular order, this is how
you are all stacking up to be the father of my usenet children:-

-----

TIM THORNE
Strong willed, immature, natural leader. Likely to produce kids with
mental instability, blitzkreig complex and stunted genitalia. Never
likely to rise into the intelligentsia, but will dominate through
strong-arm tactics and continuous abuse. Progeny unlikely to have much
body hair, and could be sharpshoooting loners, but will serve country
well in special ops. Girls likely to be extremely ugly and may bite.

MARK BULLOCK
Artistic, creative, precise, repetitive Virgo. Would probably prefer
girls, as they present no threat to familial dominance <guffaw>. Lanky,
rangy limbs, probably all four. Early hair loss very likely, but kids
will not go short since "Daddy" can always sell the Porsche to pay for
the school fees. Probably on his last legs reproductively; may have to
get specimen before signing procreative contract. Ask about asset
distribution in event of death prior to signing anything. Fix brakes.

JAMES KIRK
A little young, but thrusting for attention. Dual nationality one of the
highlights of a union, but this is weighed down by the standard of care
he is able to provide. Kids likely to be confused or even scared by his
rambling stories at odd moments. Do not envision top marks in class in
any subject demanding scientific rigour. Genetics unlikely to be
compatible with long-term success or mental stability. Has crow and
garbage problems at home, sign of other sanitary problems IMHO.

JULES
Racist, idiotic, luv-sick hippy-geek. Maybe if we met, while drunk, at
Glastonbury festivall, and there was enough mud to disguise his
features, this could happen, but I don't think so. Nazi's rarely make
good bed-fellows, often ending relationships in suicide pacts. And the
hair is a turn off. His genes are struggling to commit hari-kari as it
is, so I see no need to inflict them on another generation, and that's
even if a successful extraction could be made by the doctors.

HOGARTH
Flawed young technocrat with liberal arts hangups. Children would
undoutabedly be well-educated, but may also suffer from constant
beratings and even physical violence when they make Daddy angry.
At 5' 3", a little short, but has big hands. Testosterone level pretty
high, which bodes well for potency. Career burnout a distinct likeli-
hood, and I won't have him teaching kids New Labour principles at age
three. Homework later on will be stressful for all when spelling becomes
an issue. Ex-teachers like Sting usually turn out to be wankers.

ANDREW BECKWITH
Get real.

JACK MAXFIELD
Mature, resolute, succinct, dependendable bore. Nearing the end of his
career, children are probably little more than a glint in his eye.
Dialogue a casa likely to be limited to occasional grunts and one line
put downs. Kids will be banished to their rooms for months on end. No TV
is a plus, but frequent trips cinema to see slasher movies a downer when
the kids are hardly toddling. Unhealthy obsession with computers and his
own image. Narcissitic poof, and hence unlikely to be interested in this
particular opening.

DEREK POTTER
Schizoid English bureacrat in denial. The mental toughness needed in a
paternal role are missing here. Weak, unable to defend his ground, and
probably easily removed from the workspace too, this is hardly reliable
background for a modern family. Shows spunk occasionally, but sulks and
huffs too easily to be of any use. Unwilling to travel abroad,
education limited to clotted cream varieties, and who wants to live and
raise young in the wilds of South Devon?

JAMES KEEGAN
Childlike intelligence, childish enunciation. I would be worried for the
kids with this monster about the house, and I wouldn't be surprised if
he was arrested within minutes of childbirth for interfering. Ugly as
sin, vindictive, useless, and more to the point flat-broke poor.
Life-giving serum likely to be a thin dribble after decades of
self-abuse and keyboard swampies on AOL.

ROBBY RAT
Creative genius, master tactician, all-round good guy. Genetically-
transferred dyslexsia almost certain in offspring, but minor minus point
to pleasant character with uplifting thoughts. On the downside, he may
be a bit soft. Can't see him providing suitably for Tarquin and
Cressida as appears to be unemployed. Also cannot see self switching to
that surname, Suzie Rat doesn't exactly inspire confidence.

ARCHIE LEACH
Lives in Lansing, Michigan. That about says it all for our prospects
as Mrs Suzie Leach, which incidentally is one of the nastier names that
Tarquin and Cressida could be saddled with. Rat was better.

CHRISTIAN TANNER
Young blood, but weak and unhealthy. Describing oneself as a "Head
Librarian" is in important sign in a space dominated by the powerful
projection of one's hopes and dreams. Monetarily unlikely to be capable,
and physically too wimpy to be worthy of the chance. Kids will be
drilled mercilessly in the cost of books, and subjected to rambling
nonsense about the joy of living in Sweden or wherever. Who needs a life
like that? Not my kids. Upside, frozen sperm no problem.

MARTIN HANNIGAN
Lame, old, crazy. This hacked-out nephew of Crazy Andy doesn't have a
pot to piss in, and can't even manage to piss if is he did have, let
alone let rip a flood of the maternity juice. Dull, eventless life. Why
bother disturbing the old codger?

FLAME JEROEN
Fiery, snake-like intelligence with a European flare. Pontential to give
kids everything is slightly dimmed by persistent ability to get himself
into troublethough his own incompetence. The twins will need a father
who isn't doing 15-20 in the jug for drugs smuggling, although the
cashflow should be robust enough to keep the family in clover while
he's gone, and Uncle John is staying. Shouldn't be a problem getting the
basic fluids, providing he hasn't spent too much time in the video
cabins that week.

WINDOW PANE
Intelligent, insightful, creative *******. Strong character with a
delicate touch and a huge ****. Sperm count Patent Pending (Off the End
of the Dial). Successful, wealthy, educated, and lithe. But also a
complete ******* to children and dumb Irish animals. Not a nourishing
atmosphere for kids. Constant psycho-babble unlikely to help their
development into world rulers and international figureheads.

MIKE O'NEILL
Gentle, harmless creature of the night. Weak, incoherent drunkard with a
damaging series of malpractise lawsuits waiting to lay his family low. A
non-man. If there is spunk, I've yet to see it. Tedious, a poor example
for kids, Irish and soon-to-be bankrupt. Also spends too much time in a
fantsy land to be of any use to a real family. Physically, limp to
dribbling.

LEE JACKSON BEAUREGARD
Talentless, boring, suspect genetically but has longevity. Survival is
key, and I can see Lazurus Lee bringing long life to my kindern, but
inevitably that is not the full story. They'd spend their whole life
listening to him using the same repetitive **** over and over and over
and over again, boring the entire family to tears while attempting to
get a nick to stick. Also, Southern genes are unlikely to travel well,
if at all, and usually pass hideous deformities to innocent victims.

JEFF BOYD
Japanese-based Vurt reality refugee. Fame is important; kids need a
successful Pater to look up to. Unfortunately, this specimen achieves
his notoriety through the promulgation of the efforts of others. A leech
on society, with the physical traits of a Playstation newt. Prefers the
safe road to the path of enlightenment, and if he could manage 10ccs
I'd be amazed. The chin is a problem. And the sloping shoulders.

BIG DADDY ZEUS
This selection no longer available.

-----

If any of you candi-daddies would like to submit reasons why you should
or should not be considered further, please don't bother. You losers are
lucky to get this much interest from a woman.

Suzie
--
Suzieflame


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

END QUOTE

--
tinmimus99@hotmail.com

smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Sir, your wife, under pretence of keeping a bawdy-house,
is a receiver of stolen goods.

< Johnson
 
mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote:

>ARCHIE LEACH
>Lives in Lansing, Michigan


Onceuponatime, si.
 
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:54:27 -0500, Archie Leach wrote:

> mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>ARCHIE LEACH
>>Lives in Lansing, Michigan

>
> Onceuponatime, si.


So yer eligible now?

--
tinmimus99@hotmail.com

smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

You want a job and a lizard to ride?

< _The Einstein Intersection_
 
mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote:

>On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:54:27 -0500, Archie Leach wrote:
>
>> mimus <tinmimus99@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>ARCHIE LEACH
>>>Lives in Lansing, Michigan

>>
>> Onceuponatime, si.

>
>So yer eligible now?


Well, still eligible, but also not living in Lansing.

Maybe I'll move back to Lansing, or East Lansing, or maybe Haslett one
day. My folks aren't in the best of health, after all, and I'm
several hours from them.
 
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