A must read!

I got this email from my friend that I wana share with all of you. It's freaking hillarious so try not to choke on whatever your drinking.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

 

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

 

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn

Carter?"

 

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f ing

number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to

call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two

digits.

 

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

 

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and

hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and

put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills

or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It

always cheered me up.

 

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this

is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're

familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

 

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back

and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

 

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

patiently waited for. I hit the horn andyelled that I'd been waiting for

that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his

back window, so I wrote down his number.

 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole,

too.

 

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

 

He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He

said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow

rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

 

I asked, "What's your name?"

 

He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

 

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

 

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

 

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

 

He said, "Yes?"

 

I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

 

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

 

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole ..1.

 

He said, "Hello."

 

I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

 

He asked, "Are you still there?"

 

I said, "Yeah,"

 

He screamed, "Stop calling me,"

 

I said, "Make me,"

 

He asked, "Who are you?"

 

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

 

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34

Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked

in front."

 

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start

saying your prayers."

 

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

 

Then I called Asshole ..2.

 

He said, "Hello?"

 

I said, "Hello, asshole,"

 

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

 

I said, "You'll what?"

 

He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"

 

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

now."

 

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill

my gay lover.

 

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree

Blvd. in Fairfax.

 

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just

in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in

front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a

news crew.

 

NOW I feel much better.

 

Anger management really does work.

I'd like to have the last three minutes of my life back.

Cool_dude I hold you personally accountable for wasting my fucking time. Have a good time in the box, boring motherfucker.

I'd like to have the last three minutes of my life back.

 

Cool_dude I hold you personally accountable for wasting my fucking time. Have a good time in the box, boring motherfucker.

The story was fucking fine. Why not pull that crawling thinggie out of your ass before putting someone else in the box for no reason?

i got the same email and found it hilarious, i might try it someday, there are some people out there that piss me off.

At this forum, we have to at least use punctuation. It's not that much extra effort, and you might be taken more seriously if you do. Why not try it?

The story was fucking fine. Why not pull that crawling thinggie out of your ass before putting someone else in the box for no reason?

You need to chill a bit about getting so fucking pissed about anyone in "the box". First of all, it doesn't do much to you as far as using the board. Second, Cool_Dude really doesn't, nor has he ever, given a shit during any of the many times he's been boxed. Why should you?

I liked it! But this place is sure filling up with pussy's.

Fuck you. You wanna fight? I'll kick your ass, mother fucker.

I liked it! But this place is sure filling up with pussy's.

Pussy's what? Big Pussy? Nah... he died the second season of the Sopranos.

I'd like to have the last three minutes of my life back.

 

Cool_dude I hold you personally accountable for wasting my fucking time. Have a good time in the box, boring motherfucker.

You need to chill a bit about getting so fucking pissed about anyone in "the box". First of all, it doesn't do much to you as far as using the board. Second, Cool_Dude really doesn't, nor has he ever, given a shit during any of the many times he's been boxed. Why should you?

And now that I'm back to what I call 'my little appartment', time to get to dusting and vaccuming. Man, I missed being boxed since phreak softened up on me.

Sorry RO, next time I'll post something that includes elevator music.

At least it will be lively.