lpunderground
New member
hey hey this one was hard for me to write so here it is
I remember being young
Looking out the window
Crying as you left for work
Not knowing if that would be the
Last time I saw you
I remember how much the sound of
You talking reassured me you were ok
I remember all the laughing you used to
Make me and Justin do when we were younger
I now laugh at when the alarms used to scare me
But when you opened the truck door and left
I wondered if that would be the last time I saw you
I remember being 10 years old
Sitting on the steps
Crying after you and mom
Told Justin and I you were moving out
And I didn’t know why
Everyone was crying here
Then you walked out the door
I cried for the longest time
Everything changed that day
Justin and I were too young to really know \
what happened\
We just thought it was mommy and daddy fighting
But it was more than that I found out
You moved so far from home
We only saw you on weekends
The time though short was cherished
Mom was crule then
She acted like she didn’t want me
It was a hard that time
I never saw any of my friends
Five days was spent here with mom
And two with you at Aj’s
For eight months that went on
Then you and mom got back together
Justin and I were happy
We again were a family
Now I’m 14 and it happened again
This time the yelling was worse
It became screaming..fights
Over little things
It was different this time
Mom moved out but no tears were shead
Stress got the better part of me
But for once I was happy
This time we spent most of the time with you
When I was at moms..such a cold place
The yelling I got was irrational
I took it the best I could
I would smile and laugh at the things she said
The things she called me
Later I would lay down and remember the things she said
I thought it was all true
It was more stress but I was happier
Now I’m almost 15 and she
Has move back in
I felt crushed after I knew she wouldn’t leave here
I knew she was here to stay again
I felt betrayed after you said this time was final
I guess everything doesn’t work out as planned
I don’t think she’s changed
The process will repeat eventually
Going back to when I was 6
I don’t remember much
Mom moved out
This was the first time
I guess I was sad
I didn’t know what happened
She moved into an apartment
Close to our town house
I remember the fish tank she had
Filled with neon’s
Justin and I shared a room
We only had two mattresses on the floor
As beds
I DO remember feeling rushed when
I had to go to school
I got yelled at then too
Though I was only 6
It must have been hard on you
And I can only imagine what you felt
Now I am almost 15 and I understand
More then I ever have
I know why everything changed so many times
I know why life was so hard for those short amounts of time
It feels like it was long ago but it feels too close
Though it cause you pain
It too cause me pain to see you like that
I can still think back to when we had the money problems
Your shoulder must have hurt
Then I remember standing at the top of the steps
Hiding from you or mom if you walked by
Mom talked about what little money we had
I remember her saying that we might need to
Look for an apartment because our house was too much
I remember the countless phone calls that were made to companies
Asking for an extension on pay or a lower pay this time
I remember the last family vacation we had
I was 10
Disney world
It was so much fun for Justin and I
That was right before you moved out
I am sitting here looking back
At all this
Wondering what could have happened if something changed
I guess I will never know
I remember being young
Looking out the window
Crying as you left for work
Not knowing if that would be the
Last time I saw you
I remember how much the sound of
You talking reassured me you were ok
I remember all the laughing you used to
Make me and Justin do when we were younger
I now laugh at when the alarms used to scare me
But when you opened the truck door and left
I wondered if that would be the last time I saw you
I remember being 10 years old
Sitting on the steps
Crying after you and mom
Told Justin and I you were moving out
And I didn’t know why
Everyone was crying here
Then you walked out the door
I cried for the longest time
Everything changed that day
Justin and I were too young to really know \
what happened\
We just thought it was mommy and daddy fighting
But it was more than that I found out
You moved so far from home
We only saw you on weekends
The time though short was cherished
Mom was crule then
She acted like she didn’t want me
It was a hard that time
I never saw any of my friends
Five days was spent here with mom
And two with you at Aj’s
For eight months that went on
Then you and mom got back together
Justin and I were happy
We again were a family
Now I’m 14 and it happened again
This time the yelling was worse
It became screaming..fights
Over little things
It was different this time
Mom moved out but no tears were shead
Stress got the better part of me
But for once I was happy
This time we spent most of the time with you
When I was at moms..such a cold place
The yelling I got was irrational
I took it the best I could
I would smile and laugh at the things she said
The things she called me
Later I would lay down and remember the things she said
I thought it was all true
It was more stress but I was happier
Now I’m almost 15 and she
Has move back in
I felt crushed after I knew she wouldn’t leave here
I knew she was here to stay again
I felt betrayed after you said this time was final
I guess everything doesn’t work out as planned
I don’t think she’s changed
The process will repeat eventually
Going back to when I was 6
I don’t remember much
Mom moved out
This was the first time
I guess I was sad
I didn’t know what happened
She moved into an apartment
Close to our town house
I remember the fish tank she had
Filled with neon’s
Justin and I shared a room
We only had two mattresses on the floor
As beds
I DO remember feeling rushed when
I had to go to school
I got yelled at then too
Though I was only 6
It must have been hard on you
And I can only imagine what you felt
Now I am almost 15 and I understand
More then I ever have
I know why everything changed so many times
I know why life was so hard for those short amounts of time
It feels like it was long ago but it feels too close
Though it cause you pain
It too cause me pain to see you like that
I can still think back to when we had the money problems
Your shoulder must have hurt
Then I remember standing at the top of the steps
Hiding from you or mom if you walked by
Mom talked about what little money we had
I remember her saying that we might need to
Look for an apartment because our house was too much
I remember the countless phone calls that were made to companies
Asking for an extension on pay or a lower pay this time
I remember the last family vacation we had
I was 10
Disney world
It was so much fun for Justin and I
That was right before you moved out
I am sitting here looking back
At all this
Wondering what could have happened if something changed
I guess I will never know