By Myself: Behind The Mask

This is a story I wrote about people who live with certain problem, like their home life, school, friends, etc. In this story the main character does meet Linkin park, but tells you how she got to mee them. I really hope you like it

Chapter One: Crawling

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real."

I lay still and silent as I gazed up at the ceiling. Even though the alarm clock was screaming in my ears, I didnt want to get up. I knew i couldnt face another day. But i knew that i had to. Ten minutes passed by and I almost forgot that the alarm was still beeping. I went to turn it off when I heard a loud pounding on the other side of my door.

"Get your lazy ass out of bed right now!" my dad bellowed at me. I whimpered, "I'm getting dressed," and I heard him march back downstairs. I got out of bed and looked in my dresser. I pulled out a Linkin Park shirt and baggy black jeans. I quickly washed my face, applied my black makeup, put on my spiked cuffs, skull earrings and LP ring and headed downstairs with a sigh.

"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming, confusing."

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water and made some toast. I was halfway done when my father came into the kitchen.

"You're going to be late for school, and i want you out of my goddamn house, so get your ass moving!" He shouted at me. Immediately I rinsed my dishes and headed upstairs to grab my LP backpack. I sighed as i took one last look around my room, at all the LP posters, and headed back downstairs.

I was glad to be out of the house. I couldnt stand my parents. I took out my walkman and turned up LP all the way. I mouthed the words to Papercut as I made my way to school.

I know you must be wondering by now why i have so many LP items. Well, aside from them being my favourite band in the universe, they saved my life. Their music, their spirit, everything about them is so wonderful. And Chester: Oh, how I love him so. He is the most beautiful human being on earth. He, especially, saved me. I cant ever imagine my life without him. All i have to do is think of him, see his dazzling smile, and i know everything will be okay. My life revolves around Linkin Park, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

I was just crossing the street to get to high school when i noticed my best friends Sarah and Ryan coming towards me. I turned down my music as we came closer.

"Hey guys!" I exclaimed as I threw myself into their arms. I was so glad to see them.

"Hey Puppet!" they both said.

"How goes it?" asked Sarah. I told them about my father this morning. They both got upset, but i told them there was nothing they could do about it. We all sighed and headed for the school. Riverdale High, a.k.a. The Pit, was so rundown and old, the place was just falling apart.

We entered the school and headed down the main hall towards our lockers, which were right beside each other. But as we walked down the hall we saw trouble ahead.

"Oh, look. Its the Puppet Master with her little Puppeteers," snickered Summer Vandebrooke. "I hope todays show is gonna be good, Puppet." She and her friends laughed as they passed by. I clenched my fists and managed to punch Summer in the side before Ryan and Sarah held me back. I smirked as Summer cried out in pain and walked away.

"This lack of self control I fear is never ending. Controlling."

"Just forget them, Puppet. Dont let them get to you. Nice punch, though," said Ryan as he rested his hand on my shoulder. I smiled and returned to opening my locker.

My real name isnt Puppet, as you probably could've figured out. Its actually Ti (short for Tina) which was oh-so cleaverly thought up by Sarah. I have a lot of nicknames, but Puppet is the one that everyone uses. The call me Puppet because of my obsession with Linkin Park. The band was the puppeteers, and I was their puppet, everyone would say. The name kind of stuck, so thats what everyone calls me.

Ok, thats all im going to write for now. Let me know if you like it or not.

Good story...post more soon :thumbsup:

hehe it's more like she is obsessed with LP well who cares we love them LOl

wehe I'm hyper LOl

thanks guys, im glad you like it Here's the next part of the chapter

The bell had rung, so Ryan and I said goodbye to Sarah as we left for art class. Ryan and I were in all the same classes this term and i was so glad for it. The only class we had with Sarah was third period history class.

Art class was a lot of fun. Today we were working on out still life paintings. Mrs. Broady said we could either do it be ourselves or in pairs, so of course Ryan and I paired up. Ours was almost done, we just needed to finish the river and the leaves on the trees. Ryan and I were excellent artists, if I do say so myself. We sat in the high nineties, above everyone else's marks.

After art class we made our way to the second floor math room. Gad, I hated math with a passion. It was taking all I had to keep a sixty, while Ryan breezed by with high eighties. I sighed, taking my seat and waiting for this period to finally end. It was the only class in which the time passed by ever so slowly. What made it worse was that Evelyn, one of Summer's friends, was in the class.

The bell finally rang for lunch, and I would've been the first one to bolt out of there had it not been for Evelyn getting to me first.

"You're gonna pay for punching Summer, you little good for nothing shit!" She yelled. "You are so low, you know that? No wonder no one likes you. You're just...a nobody. You're nothing." And with that she stuck up her nose and pranced out of the classroom.

"I can't seem to find myself again, my walls are closing in."

"May be she's right," I said to Ryan. "Maybe I am a nobody."

"Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's too much pressure to take."

"Don't you dare say that about yourself!" Ryan yelled. "Don't stoop down to her level, Puppet, It's not worth it." He had both hands on my shoulders and was staring me straight in the eyes. I nodded, and we continued down the halls until we found Sarah. Ryan told her what had happened and she basically said the same thing to me.

We made our way to the Caff, bought our lunches, and were taking a seat. Not too far away I noticed Summer and her friends staring our way, whispering and laughing.

"I've felt this way before, so insecure."

I tried to ignore them and they soon left and I could breathe again. Once we were done eating we went back to our lockers to get our third and fourth period books. Well, Sarah had to get her fourth because Ryan and I had a spare. On our way, Dennis MacCormick passed by. I found myself staring after him, my eyes glued to his perfect face. And the tears started forming in my eyes again. I remembered when I used to talk to him, when I was his friend. And somehow, probably from Summer, he found out I liked him. And he stopped talking to me. He wouldnt even look at me now.

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal."

I wanted so badly to talk to him again, but I was afraid. I sometimes just imagined what it would be like to be his girl, or to even just be friends again. I try to pretend like nothing happened, but whenever i see him i know that what happened was real.

"Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real."

Here's the last part of this chapter!

I was really quiet all through history class. Usually I would argue with the teacher, disagreeing with everything he said. But today was different; I just didnt feel up to it. So I lay my head on the desk and began doodling on the back of my sheets.

The bell rang and i was so glad to be getting out of there. I said goodbye to Sarah as Ryan and I collected our homework from our lockers and made our way outside. We walked across the street to the playground and sat atop the slide. We sat there talking for a while. Ryan asked how it was at home, and I told him that i still couldnt take it. An hour later I told him that I should get going because i wanted to try and beat my father home to get some time at home to myself. He understood, and he even walked me home. He hugged me goodbye and told me that he would call me over the weekend.

I walked inside and put my bag in my room. I headed downstairs tot he family room to watch TV when I noticed that it was aleady on.

"Oh-Dad. I didnt notice you were home already," I said, shocked that he was home so early.

"There wasnt much for me to do so they let me off early," he said. "Is that a problem?" He sounded suspicious of me. I shook my head, and he ordered me upstairs to do the dishes. I turned my back cautiously and headed up to my room to take off my jewelry. I didnt like being at home with my dad.

"Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me. Distracting, reacting."

I looked in the mirror and held up my shirt enough to see my stomach. I hated being alone with my dad because that was how I got the welts.

"Against my will I stand beside my own reflection. It's haunting how I can't see to find myself again."

I took my fists and pressed them against the mirror, but not so hard that it shattered. I hated myself, I hated the life I was living.

"My walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's too much pressure to take."

I went back downstairs and turned on the tap, letting the warm water run into the sink. I watched as it then filled with bubbles. On the counter I saw a butter knife, so i kept it close just in case.

"I've felt this way before, so insecure."

I was halfway done the dishes when I heard him come up the stairs. I could tell that he was watching me from the doorway. I carefully slid the knife closer. I did not want a repeat of a week ago.

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real."

He finally left to go back downstairs. When I was done the dishes I ran upstairs and shut my door. I then began to cry. This weekend, I knew, was going to be hell.

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing, confusing what is real.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming (confusing what is real) This lack of self control I fear is never ending. Controling (confusing what is real)

what didnt convince you pretty much?

Anyways, here is the next chapter

Chapter Two: And One

My mom came home a while later. I went downstairs to greet her, and all I got was a,"Hi. Could you go start dinner now?" Of course I obeyed. It didnt take long to boil the pasta and preheat the sauce. I set the table, poured the milk, made both parents tea, and finished draining the water out of the pot. I added the sauce, stirred it, and put it on the plates. I thought I had done a a good job, but I guess my mother was displeased. She took one bite and threw the dish over to the counter. Of course, it shattered and the food went flying everywhere.

"That sauce is old, and the pasta is hard!" When the hell are you going to be able to cook?" My mother shouted at me. My father forced his plate into my hands, and I emptied it into the garbage.

"Now clean up this mess. Your father and I are going out for dinner. I expect the place too be spotless when we get back," my mother demanded. As I watched them leave, my eyes filled with tears.

"Where should I start, disjointed heart."

I couldnt stand it. I ran upstairs into my room and grabbed my knife from the safe box under my bed. It was at least six inches long and the handle was shaped into a dragon's head. I called it Kenji, after Mike's middle name. Kenji was a japanese name, my dragon was japanese. It suited it perfectly. So I held Kenji tightly in my hand and bared my wrist. I watched with tearfilled eyes as I drew long lines through my skin.

"I've got no committment to my own flesh and blood."

After having done that, I felt much better. My pain was released. I whipped the blood off of the knife and put it back in the safe box. Back downstairs, I stared at the mess in the kitchen. I couldnt believe I was living here. I put my Linkin park CD on full blast and screamed my lungs out.

"Left all alone, far from my home. No one to hear me to heal my ill heart."

I thought about calling Sarah or Ryan, but they would worry too much and want to see me right away. So I continued to clean up the mess.

"I keep it locked up inside."

I hated my parents so much. I couldnt believe how cruel they were towards me, their own daughter! And despite that, I continued to clean and do everything for them.

"Cannot express to the point I've regressed."

I hated them so much, hated myself for living with it.

"If angers a gift then I guess I've been blessed."

It took me nearly an hour, but I got the floor and counter free of food and broken glass. I even did the dishes again.

"I keep it locked up inside. Keep my distance from your lies."

what didnt convince you pretty much?

Anyways, here is the next chapter

Chapter Two: And One

 

My mom came home a while later. I went downstairs to greet her, and all I got was a,"Hi. Could you go start dinner now?" Of course I obeyed. It didnt take long to boil the pasta and preheat the sauce. I set the table, poured the milk, made both parents tea, and finished draining the water out of the pot. I added the sauce, stirred it, and put it on the plates. I thought I had done a a good job, but I guess my mother was displeased. She took one bite and threw the dish over to the counter. Of course, it shattered and the food went flying everywhere.

"That sauce is old, and the pasta is hard!" When the hell are you going to be able to cook?" My mother shouted at me. My father forced his plate into my hands, and I emptied it into the garbage.

"Now clean up this mess. Your father and I are going out for dinner. I expect the place too be spotless when we get back," my mother demanded. As I watched them leave, my eyes filled with tears.

"Where should I start, disjointed heart."

I couldnt stand it. I ran upstairs into my room and grabbed my knife from the safe box under my bed. It was at least six inches long and the handle was shaped into a dragon's head. I called it Kenji, after Mike's middle name. Kenji was a japanese name, my dragon was japanese. It suited it perfectly. So I held Kenji tightly in my hand and bared my wrist. I watched with tearfilled eyes as I drew long lines through my skin.

"I've got no committment to my own flesh and blood."

After having done that, I felt much better. My pain was released. I whipped the blood off of the knife and put it back in the safe box. Back downstairs, I stared at the mess in the kitchen. I couldnt believe I was living here. I put my Linkin park CD on full blast and screamed my lungs out.

"Left all alone, far from my home. No one to hear me to heal my ill heart."

I thought about calling Sarah or Ryan, but they would worry too much and want to see me right away. So I continued to clean up the mess.

"I keep it locked up inside."

I hated my parents so much. I couldnt believe how cruel they were towards me, their own daughter! And despite that, I continued to clean and do everything for them.

"Cannot express to the point I've regressed."

I hated them so much, hated myself for living with it.

"If angers a gift then I guess I've been blessed."

It took me nearly an hour, but I got the floor and counter free of food and broken glass. I even did the dishes again.

"I keep it locked up inside. Keep my distance from your lies."

After i read it again and read also your 2nd chaper, it's starts making sense, the story is now more interestin. I like the fact that you have matched it with crawlin and "and one" songs.

really good story, i like the lyrics/song thing you got going on, can't wait for the next part!

wonder what song your going to use next

PLz post more

I really like it

Awww thanks for all ur comments, guys! I'm so glad you really like it. Thats just making my day

Here's the next part of the chapter:

It wasnt long before my parents came home. They saw how spotless the kitchen was, and for once in a long time, they looked pleased.

"Well, very good," my mother said. "Here. We were thinking of you, you know." She handed me a white box and inside was a meal from Mandarin. I smiled and thanked her, watching her go downstairs with my father. I sat down and ate, but I knew they didnt get me this just to be nice.

"It's too late to love me now, you have never shown me. It's too late to love me now, you don't even know me."

After eating, I went back up to my room. I flopped down on my bed and gazed at the millions of pictures of Linkin park. Again, tears flooded my eyes.

"Why do they do this to me?" I asked aloud. "I do everything for them, and they do nothing for me. That meal wasn't being nice, they want something. I hate them. I wish I could live elsewhere. I dont want to be here anymore. I want them out of my life."

"Breaking a part of my heart to find release, taking you out of my blood to bring me peace."

And yet I've told no one but my best friends about my situation. And I havent even told them everything.

"Keep it locked up inside. Kepp my distance from your lies."

I should tell them everything. I need to talk to someone about this. The sooner my parents leave my life, the better.

"Breaking a part of my heart to find release, taking you out of my blood to bring me peace."

But who do I go to? I guess for now I'll just try and steer clear of my parents, however possible. It will be hard, though. But I can do it.

"Keep my distance, keep my distance."

My eyes began to grow heavy, and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

Here's the next chappy! and thanks so much for the comments guys!

Chapter Three: The Past/ Don't Stay

I didn't get much of a good sleep. I kept waking up off and on. Pictures of the past kept flowing through my head. Right now I could not escape them.

"Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe. Sometimes I need you to stay away from me. Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know. Somehow I need you to go."

" He had slipped her some alcohol in her drink. She didn't notice it at the time. She couldn't relly remember anything. All she remembered was waking up and lying naked under white sheets, tied to a bed post. She was sore, and noticed a small bite mark just above her right breast. She remembered thinking, " Oh, God, I've just been raped." She remembered screaming, but no one heard her. No one but David Lumberge. He came into the room, drawing nearer to her. She wouldn't stop screaming, so he hit her. And that's all she could remember."

I couldn't believe that I had actually been pregnant. I shed a tear thinking of how I had to have this life destroyed. I hated that memory. It was more like a nightmare.

"Don’t stay. Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay." Then my mind moved on to a more recent event, happening not too long after the abortion.

" They sat huddled around the fire, Adam filling up the bongs and passing them around. She couldn't remember the exact amount, but in total she had had nearly two joints. Ryan was there with her. They had both been so foolish for doing what they did. Although he had had less than what she did, it was still enough to make his mind a bit wonky. She had to use the washroom, but since they were in a forest she would have to use a bush. Ryan accompanied her so she wouldn't get lost. After she was done and were on their way back, she tripped over a log. Ryan bent down to help her up, and as he did their eyes met. After that split second, Jessica found them on the ground, him on top of her, making out. Afterwards, she went back to his place with him, and she fell asleep together in his bed. They were both surprised when they woke up in each other's arms."

I can't believe that had happened. I can't believe we're still friends. I was so lucky to have as great a friend as Ryan. He was so kind, so understanding. We'd been through a lot together over the years.

"Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay."

Here is the next part of Chap. 3! enjoy!

"She sat on the couch watching TV for a bit. Her parents were out, so she though she'd have a little free time before getting to her chores. Who knew that was the wrong thing to do? Her parents came home early, and man did she ever get it.

"We don't expect that much from you, you little bitch! Can't you do anything to lift a fucking finger around here?" Her mother yelled. She bolted upstairs in a hurry. Her dad grabbed her arm, thrusting her to her feet. His grip was so hard that it left bruises. Then he slapped her across the face. Blinded by the tears, she didn't see him take off his belt. She didn't see the metal buckle come hurling towards her back and stomach."

"Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well. Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself. Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know. Somehow I need to be alone."

By now, I was practically drowning in my own tears. I had been through a lot. All that, plus everyday torture from Summer.

"Don’t stay. Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay."

But I knew that my situation wasn't the worst case. There are many kids out there who hace it worse than I do. I don't like to feel sorry for myself, but at this point in time I couldn't help it. I was so distracted by the memories that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. All I wanted was to forget the past and move on. And I wanted to go to sleep.

"Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay."

All I wanted was to forget the past and move on. And I wanted to go to sleep.

"I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away. I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away, with no apologies."

I pushed the memories to the back of my head. I picked up my CD player and exchanged Hybrid Theory for Meteora. I pushed 'play' and let the sweet melody of Linkin Park consume me.

"Don’t stay. Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay. Forget our memories. Forget our possibilities. What you were changing me into. Just give me myself back and don’t stay."

Next Chapter! its a short one, i hope u like it

Chapter Four: The Poems

I slept in this morning until around eleven. Since I had set my CD player to 'repeat all' I woke up listening to Faint. I waited until the song ended before I turned it off. I went downstairs to find a note in the kitchen. It was from my mother, telling me to preheat the oven and put the lasagna in before she and my dad got home from work.

Finally! A whole day to myself! Both og my parents wouldnt be home until around nine. My mother is a cashier at the local Sobeys and my father helps collect clothes and other items for the Old Navy. Both jobs were uaually busier on weekends.

Today, I could do anything I wanted. I had a couple of cereal bars to avoid doing dishes. I got dresses in another pair of black jeans and a tight fitting Linkin Park shirt. As I was getting ready I was humming to myself, and thats when I got a great idea for a poem. I quickly got out a sheet of paper and wrote it down:

"In the shadows of the night

I lie here in this dark garden

Thorns from the red roses drawing my blood

To me this is heaven

Blood coats my body

I feel bliss from all this pain

I lie here with my eyes wide open

Hoping never to see the sun again

And my blood it feeds the flowers

Stealing me from lonely hours

Entangled in the rose thorns now

Here in my garden I lie

Wound so tightly in its grasp

Severing my body, draining me as I die

And slowly night turns into day

As my blood soaks the soil and floor

Feeding the flowers is His gift to me

Red roses for the Devil’s whore

And my blood it feeds the flowers

Stealing me from lonely hours"

Not the happiest of poems, mine never were, but I thought it was rather well done. And after having done one poem, more ideas filled my head and I was soon on to another.

"You’ve always been there for me

Been everything I see

And you’ve shown your faith to me

Your power and loyalty

When I look upon your face

So gentle and full of grace

You are my life, my love

And angel sent from above

Supergod, that’s what you are

You feel so close and yet you’re far away

You’re everything to me

Can’t you see

You’re my Supergod

I’ll always be there for you

Do what you want me to

and I’ll give you all my faith

my love for you is no waste

You are a gift to me

I’ll treat you so pleasantly

I just wish to be with you

And hope that you love me too

Supergod, that’s what you are

You feel so close and yet you’re far away

You’re everything to me

Can’t you see

You’re my Supergod

Supergod, let my fly with you to the night

We’ll be together for eternity, and it feels so right

Suppress me, let me into your embrace

Turn to me, smile with your immortal face

Have faith in me

I’m more than what you see

Have faith in me

I’m more than what you see

Supergod, that’s what you are

You feel so close and yet you’re far away

You’re everything to me

Can’t you see

You’re my Supergod

Have faith in me

I’m more than what you see"

I wrote this one about Dennis. I missed him so much. I began to daydream, and almost didnt notice the phone ringing.

Here's the next chapter!

Chapter Five:Intensions

I raced down the stairs and picked up the phone on its last ring. I almost didn't make it. It turned out to be Ryan.

"Slow enough?" Ryan said when he heard me anser the phone.

"Shut up," I laughed. "I was writing." Ryan laughed.

"I should've known. So what's been happening?"

"Well, my parents won't be home all day," I said in an excited tone. "So I can do whatever I want."

"Oh, good. I'll be coming over in a bit then," said Ryan. Laughing, I said okay and hung up the phone. Ryan always liked to just invite himself over. In about twenty minutes I heard him ring the doorbell.

"Hey!" I said when I answered the door.

"Hey," he smiled back. He came in and we went up to my room. I was getting my new Linkin Park DVD so we could watch it, and I noticed that he was either staring at me, or staring off into space.

"You okay?" I asked. It took a few seconds for him to realize that I had spoken.

"Wha- oh, yeah. I'm fine," he said. He must have seen the confused look on my face because he added," I, um, like your shirt." I smiled.

"Thanks," I said. "Twenty five dollars at General Music. The tight fit would look super on you." He blushed and nodded, then looked around my room. "So, you wanna watch it?" I asked, holding up the DVD.

"Most definately," he said, and we made our way downstairs.

great poems :thumbsup:

Nice chappie post more

Here's the next part of this chapter. this ones a little longer than the rest of the chapters.

Ryan flopped down on the couch as I set up the DVD. Then I sat close beside him and we watched as the movie began. Throughout the DVD I felt his slide closer to me. Closer. And then he put his arm around me. My heart was racing a million times a second. But soon I found myself resting my head on his chest and we ended up lying on the couch together.

The movie had ended, and Ryan reached for the remote and turned off the TV. But neither one of us moved from that spot. I faced him, put my arms around his neck and lay my head back on his chest. He wrapped both his arms around me and we both closed our eyes.

Neither of us knew what to say, but the silence was awkward. Finally, Ryan cleared his throat, and I looked up at him.

"Um, look, Tina..." he began. This was the first time since long ago that hes called me by my real name. "Well, um, if you havent guessed already, I like you." He paused for a second, I guess to see my reaction. I smiled, and he continued. "I've actually liked you for a while now. I just didnt know how to tell you. I mean, we've been best friends forever, and I thought it would stay that way, until i started developing feelings for you. I wanted to tell you earlier, but i didnt know how you'd react. And, well I've kept it inside too long, I just had to tell you. Even if it meant risking our friendship." Ryan was so serious, and I could tell from his eyes that this was difficult for him to say. I smiled gently.

"Ryan, that is so sweet," I said, and I brushed his cheek with my hand. "I..well...I like you too." I had never really thought about us being more than friends, but now that we were on the subject and I was thinking about it, I realized just how much I liked him too.

Ryan brought his hand up to my cheek and cupped my face. Slowly he drew me into a kiss. Little at first, then more passionate. After a while we stopped, and he spoke again.

"Look, I need to tell you something," he said, seriously." My-my home life hasnt been too great in the past little while. Nothing as serious as yours, though. I know you've had it really hard." He could tell that it was hard on me when he brought it up. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into a comforting hug. "I want to escape it, even if its just for a while. And I know you do too." He started to slide his hand into his pocket. "I've saved up a lot of money hoping we could do this one day," he said. "And I know its what you want more than anything." He took out an envelop and placed it in my hands. "Open it," he told me.