Crimes of your past.. Confession Booth time.

Ah yes, we all probably have them, how many of you are willing to share them ???

I could go on a 50,000 character rant on mine, but I wanna see some stats and hear some other stories first...

I pick KVH, I can tell just by looking at the cocky little bastard that he has a rap sheet... so spill it boy !!!

I'm guessing Vortex has something to tell too... I mean anybody named VITO has to have a rap sheet..

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A few years back me and some friends did some stupid shit involving fireworks in a public bathroom. Toilet seat melted, paper towel dispenser caught on fire "almost burning the building to the ground". How burning paper almost destroyed a stone building I'll never know, but whatever. Long story short, one of our friends couldn't keep his mouth shut, the whole town basically knew about it, and someone else was getting blamed for it so we were forced to turn ourselves in. Would have gotten charged with Arsen apparently, but we painted over the scorch marks the day before we turned ourselves in and wrote an apology letter so we got off with a fine and were charged with Destruction of public property or some such thing. Stupid teenage stuff...

Remembered a few things I didn't get caught for...Drugs, Underage drinking, Impersonating a police officer and shop lifting...other than that nothing serious.

I got stoned, drove my friend's car, hit a car (in a parking lot) and thought it would be a good idea to leave.

Ended up with failure to carry a license and evading responsibility, nollied after 15 hours of community service. And it's on my juvie record.

Crimes I DIDN'T get caught for? Drugs, tresspassing on State Property, B&E, drinking underage in a bar....I think that's it. Nothing too serious.

 

I pick KVH, I can tell just by looking at the cocky little bastard that he has a wrap sheet... so spill it boy !!!

 

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I tend to come off as cocky but it's mostly just because I have a lot of anger and self hate. Things I've done:

I've Mastered the fine art of smoking dope

I Brought weapons to school in 8th grade

I Wrecked the bumper on my boss's caddilac once

I'm ALWAYS vandalizing shit. Graffitti king of my old HS

Contributing to the delenquency of a minor.....do it all the time.

I've done the underage drinking thing. We all have.

And I carry around concealed weapons quite often...I'm quite paranoid

Aside from the obvious pot/ underaged drinking BS, I was only jailed once and VERY recently accually.

Buy Nothing Day? Well we were having a party in a local commonspot and then we kinda...blocked off a street or 2 with shopping carts to the WTC buildings and then the cops came. (one hit another driver and was so pissed he just hauled out the mace and started yelling at anybody) anyhow, a few of us were taken in but when the rest came and demanded to be jailed too (solidarity) we were let out. I accually had nothing to do with the street blocking off, knew about it but i was just there eating and chatting. (I'm a rebel, i know)

My first run in with the law was at a pretty young age. I was arrested for 2nd degree assault (would be with a deadly weapon) at age 12. I was never prosecuted though because I didn't actually hurt anyone my actions were perceived as threatening by someone while I had a knife. After that I was only arrested 3 times for underage drinking.

Things I wasn't caught for (including but not limited to... drugs, theft, vandalism etc...) are way too numerous to list. This was all before 1993, when I found out I was to be a father and I pretty much did a 180 in my life. Other then possibly driving after having a few too many on occasion, I haven't done anything illegal.

Anyone surprised?

This one time, at band camp.......

Damn you beat me to it.

Never any jail time. I have a heavy foot lots a speeding through out my life.

Been caught but never busted (crossing fingers) DWI, public intoxication, contributing to a minor, wreckless driving, concealed weapon and thief.

I'm pretty harmless never got into the drug thing, i tried a few but never got hooked.

2 counts giving false information, 3 counts driving under suspention, one count of attempted statutory rape, (She was a 14 year old HO, I was 21) the prosecutor knew she was a HO, and didn't wanna give me a felony, so it was reduced to a misdemeanor..ehh... we live, we learn.... but anyways, 1 count cruelty to animals (I shot a fucking feral cat). And that's about it..

The only charge that haunts me is the one with the HO. I was like probably alot of others guys at the time and we'd hook up with some slut, then dispose of them soon after. Unfortunately for me, I didn't ask, nor care about the age. The official charge was ATTEMPTED SEXUAL ASSAULT OF A CHILD as defined by Nebraska law, and that I hate, because just the sound of it makes me look like a fucking deviant or something.

I guess it could have been worse, I could have been charged with a felony, or I could have gotten like some guys... prison time and my name on the Nebraska sex offender registry.

The experience taught me to be a bigger asshole when it comes to these types of relationships.... see this topic: http://Off Topic Forum.com/showthread.php?t=44085

Although when you are younger, the age difference might not seem like it would be a big deal, it really does make a difference.

But anyways, suprisingly, I have never commited any crimes involving drugs and alcohol.

Sure I was a big time drunk between 20-23 and dabbled in drugs around that time too, and damn do I know alot of dopers, but I stay away from that shit if I can avoid it. I just have more important things to do.

The rest of my crimes were commited when I was 13-14, alot of theft charges... we used to break into shit all the time (out of boredom) back in my younger days in Schuyler Nebraska... I was just a little bad boy. Then there is one vandalism (criminal mischief) charge for taking my neighbors bike and tossing it onto some train tracks... and if I remember any more, I'll post it.

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Hmm.

Theft over $5000, or as you americans call it, grand theft (and no, to this day I haven't been caught. whee.) Shoplifting, drinking underage, drugs, vandalism (actually, there's no charge called Vandalism in the Canadian Criminal Code, I can't quite remember the correct term for it), assault with a weapon, carrying a concealed weapon...and..I think I'm missing one, but I can't remember.

Never been caught

Hmm.

 

Theft over $5000, or as you americans call it, grand theft (and no, to this day I haven't been caught. whee.) Shoplifting, drinking underage, drugs, vandalism (actually, there's no charge called Vandalism in the Canadian Criminal Code, I can't quite remember the correct term for it), assault with a weapon, carrying a concealed weapon...and..I think I'm missing one, but I can't remember.

 

Never been caught

We don't have vandalism in Nebraska either. Here it's called "Criminal Mischief".

We don't have vandalism in Nebraska either. Here it's called "Criminal Mischief".

!!! That's what it's called. Mischief

Hmm.

 

Theft over $5000, or as you americans call it, grand theft (and no, to this day I haven't been caught. whee.) Shoplifting, drinking underage, drugs, vandalism (actually, there's no charge called Vandalism in the Canadian Criminal Code, I can't quite remember the correct term for it), assault with a weapon, carrying a concealed weapon...and..I think I'm missing one, but I can't remember.

 

Never been caught

This might be wrong of me...but I have to say I'm impressed in a strange way that you were able to get away with this.

This might be wrong of me...but I have to say I'm impressed in a strange way that you were able to get away with this.

It's because 1. She has a set of tits

2 or she's full of shit.

I was charged with "Counterfeiting of Government Documents" (a felony) but the charges were dropped and the arrest was expunged after I got an attorney to prove my innocence to the DA.

I had purchased a used vehicle with a forged inspection sticker... What a nightmare! I gave them the name of the guy who sold me the car, I have no idea what they did after that!

Working as a rigger/dogman on a lowrise construction site at a tourist resort, we were being fed the same crap every day, so we put in a complaint to the union rep. Next day we got fucking hot-dogs for lunch, instead of chicken and salad.

Whoopee. Next breakfast, I read the label on the UHT longlife milk, and it was eight months out of date. We're talking pig food bought at auction here. My mate and I put our knives through the cartons, chucked 'em in the bin, and demanded fresh milk. The cooks bought out more of the same, so we knifed them too, and kept doing it until we had to go to work.

We accosted the union rep again, and he said he'd see what he could do. Next morning, our milk was in a large insulated urn, so we put two and two together, and carried the urn outside, and dumped the lot on the sand. When we asked for more milk, they bought out the same old out-dated crap. I asked them what the restaurant was serving as milk. Same stuff, they said.

I told them that everyone I met at the resort bar that night would hear of this insulting treatment. We workers got together at smoko time and discussed a strike. Some were keen, but the electricians said they had "other" plans. No clues.

There was a fiftieth birthday party that night for the old bloke who was giving me a ride to and from work, so I had an invite regardless. I figured there would be a feed there, so I skipped dinner, and charged up six or ten schooners of guinness at the bar. I didn't know it was 8.7 % alcohol.

When I finally got to the party, the munchies had all been eaten, so I laid a few joints of home-grown on the crew, and got severely hungry. There was nothing to be eaten, and the beer was just making me even more hungry. I made my way drunkenly to the mess hall, but of course, it was closed, so I climbed up on a wheelie bin, and pushed out the louvres on the toilet window, and climbed right on in.

It was pitch black, and I was as drunk as a lord, but I managed to find the cold room, and let myself in. I found a frozen box of sea scallops, and tried to get out of the freezer. In my drunken haze, I forgot that the door slides, rather than opens. After a few painfull shoulder charges at the door, I figured I was either gonna freeze to death, or bash my way out. I loaded over five hundred pounds of frozen sea-food onto a tiered trolley, and after building up some speed from the back of the freezer room, I blasted that trolley straight through that sliding door. Knocked the top track clean off the wall. LOL

It made such a noise, that someone from the adjoining restaurant bar came to investigate. I hid for a while, still clutching my booty. I took off my jacket, as it was getting warm in there. Finally, I managed to sneak out through the servery area where us workers got fed. I had to climb over the bain maree to get out, and as I clambered over the top of it, I over-balanced, bringing the whole thing crashing down on the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

As I climbed out the same window, my jacket, which I had loosely tied around my waist, got snagged on something, and there it stayed, as incriminating evidence. Everyone knew my jacket.

I went back to my girl's room, and microwaved my booty. Scoffed the lot.

In the morning, my girl woke me to say she could not get out of her room. I was still pissed as a nit, and couldn't figure out why the doors wouldn't open. I took out the louvres in one window, and saw that there was wire lashing the door to a tree outside. The electricians had wired us in with the pull-through wire they had oodles of from their conduit jobs. They had done the same to every goddamn door in the resort, from the cleaners and dish-pigs and house-mouses, right on up to the manager and his simpering little boyfriend.

I was one of the first to get out, and did the rounds releasing people from their rooms. As I made my way around, the word was out that someone had trashed the kitchen and cold-room.

The penny dropped when I went back to our room to get changed for work. My girl had the carton that my booty was in, and said that I should get rid of it, because management was searching the bins.

Long story. I took some days off that were owing, and while on the mainland, copped a visit from the cops. Pleaded guilty to being in that kitchen, because they had my jacket, but bare-face lied and said that once I saw the carnage that some fool had wreaked, I figured I better get the fuck outta there. I was charged with entering with intent, and fined a hundred bucks.

The resort lost over twelve thousand worth of seafood alone. The manager knew that I was guilty as sin, and banned me for life. So I shaved off my Ned Kelly beard, trimmed my bushy hairdo and slicked it back into a pony-tail, dressed up in the floral shirt and smart pants, and went back to the resort for one last hurrah. So who do you think was buying me drinks and trying to get into my pants for a couple of hours that night? The manager himself. Sucker.

While the whole episode made me feel remorsefully stupid for a while, I look back twenty years later, and think how funny it was to be lauded by the colleagues for running amok,

pissed as a tick.

It's because 1. She has a set of tits

2 or she's full of shit.

1. Didn't you read my first post? "Never got caught." Braniac, that means I haven't been caught. I didn't say, "Yes, I got caught, but tits were my way out." It said never been caught.

2. Well, I can't make you see either way, but I guess you'll just have to take my word for it

And what - Is wittlebitty KVH jealous that you couldn't pull it off?

Just kidding.. I dunno. The people I.."borrowed" from think of me as a darling little girl, as do most people older than me, so I don't get suspected for anything, let alone caught. I guess it's the whole "honour role, student leader, hard working, charming, outgoing, reliable and sensible" thing that gets most people thinking I'm an angel

Just kidding.. I dunno. The people I.."borrowed" from think of me as a darling little girl, as do most people older than me, so I don't get suspected for anything, let alone caught. I guess it's the whole "honour role, student leader, hard working, charming, outgoing, reliable and sensible" thing that gets most people thinking I'm an angel

The Ole angel with horns syndrome. Yes I've seen it in my own kids.

1. Didn't you read my first post? "Never got caught." Braniac, that means I haven't been caught. I didn't say, "Yes, I got caught, but tits were my way out." It said never been caught.

2. Well, I can't make you see either way, but I guess you'll just have to take my word for it

 

And what - Is wittlebitty KVH jealous that you couldn't pull it off?

Just kidding.. I dunno. The people I.."borrowed" from think of me as a darling little girl, as do most people older than me, so I don't get suspected for anything, let alone caught. I guess it's the whole "honour role, student leader, hard working, charming, outgoing, reliable and sensible" thing that gets most people thinking I'm an angel

Kidding...kinda...

But maybe if you finish that damn personal page..

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Soo, uhh, what'll you give me if I DON'T show a map to your house and your real name....

 

Kidding...kinda...

 

But maybe if you finish that damn personal page..

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Oh, come off it, you're getting a Christmas card already. What more do you want from me?! Besides, I don't wannnnnnnt to do a personal page.

well for being pulled over it has happend twice(when i was in the drivers seat anyhow).

The first was because my car stalled in -30 below weather and the cop took me home ( i was 17 at the time.....for once i thought elkhorn cops werent dicks)

the 2nd was i was getting lunch and apparently my tabs were expired.........hence why i wasnt driving for a year........

Ok lets get to the meat of the issue shall we?

but my biggie was i was working at Peony Park...the last year it was opened (kinda sad..my dad went there when he was a kid...........)

anyhoo...i was 19 (maybe 20..not sure) and there were about 10 of us who wanted to party and we went to friends house that we knew that no one was leaving and we would be staying at home............then had some liquor and no one was driving (or at least none of us under 21) so we just had fun...no one was overly loud...nothing major. Cept we all smoked(cigs mind you.......and you couldnt smoke inside). So at the end of the night no one was drinking anymore, this also would be my 2nd girlfriend i ever had btw........(gasp)....... and there were 4 of us left. The cops came around the house (both sides) flashlights blaring..............

apparently there was a neighbor complaint and we got busted. Fortunately everyone left was under 21 and no one could be blamed for that mess.........and their parents were not to blame because they were out of town for a long time........

we kept having fun despite the fact that they were busting us, hell no one was driving.........one cop was telling us that it wasnt serious......the other was telling us it wasnt a laughing matter..

shrug.......

we made necklaces out of our breathalizer tubes and wore them at peony park, fuckers, but why should we have been upset if we werent going anywhere and not going to jail??!?!?! Granted i had to pay a 100 fine, but still fuck them?!?!

they, afterall, never found my bottle of everclear hiding in the cubbord.......so we all drank that.......and the next day i was horribly hung over and ran the "black hole" ride with my breathalizer tube around my neck and was fine........

christ i miss peony park i was supposed to be a ride supervisor the next year!

but ive been a good boy most of my life.........i deserve something......and allstate is a liar with thier "good driver" crap...cuz i am a good driver and they are way higher than most companies.......

ok im a tad tipsy and have lost my point..........

enjoy