DSS tellin me how to raise my kids

[lilmizztemper]

OK....DSS (Department of Social Services) is pretty much a big freakin JOKE in most instances and places...since WHEN did politics find its nasty *** in the rearin of children anyhow? Yeah I am sure there are some pretty pathetic parents out there...but ****...why pick on them when ya can have more fun pickin apart a single mother of three working herr *** off to pay bills and keep a roof over their heads...and food in their tummies. My son was at risk here...and all because his dad is a lyin no good SOB who depends on the idiots at DSS to get what he wants. Well I tried fighting em...that dont werk....dont try it whatever you do...if ya do that, you end up going to two or three different counselors, taking UA's and having "random home visits" I was deemed the improper parent why???? BECAUSE I WORK!!! and the ex dont know what the **** that is...so he had time to go and take 5 different parenting classes to save his ***. I mean **** what the **** am I posed ta do??? go and grow weed and pocket the profit and claim no income just to get by??? **** the ex does just fine with that!!!! nope I think Id rather stick to my REAL job. And on top of it all...I am told that I am being accused of being an alcoholic!!!! Um nope I dont think so...unless you call drinkin a few beers with friends maybe twice a month being an alcoholic...now I can no longer associate with my friends nor can I even LOOK at a beer without bein a horrible mom...**** Im sick of people lying to get their way...aint honest!!! well DUH lol. but anywho thats about all I got fer now Im sure I'll have more later

 

[atlantic]

OK....DSS (Department of Social Services) is pretty much a big freakin JOKE in most instances and places...since WHEN did politics find its nasty *** in the rearin of children anyhow? Yeah I am sure there are some pretty pathetic parents out there...but ****...why pick on them when ya can have more fun pickin apart a single mother of three working herr *** off to pay bills and keep a roof over their heads...and food in their tummies. My son was at risk here...and all because his dad is a lyin no good SOB who depends on the idiots at DSS to get what he wants. Well I tried fighting em...that dont werk....dont try it whatever you do...if ya do that, you end up going to two or three different counselors, taking UA's and having "random home visits" I was deemed the improper parent why???? BECAUSE I WORK!!! and the ex dont know what the **** that is...so he had time to go and take 5 different parenting classes to save his ***. I mean **** what the **** am I posed ta do??? go and grow weed and pocket the profit and claim no income just to get by??? **** the ex does just fine with that!!!! nope I think Id rather stick to my REAL job. And on top of it all...I am told that I am being accused of being an alcoholic!!!! Um nope I dont think so...unless you call drinkin a few beers with friends maybe twice a month being an alcoholic...now I can no longer associate with my friends nor can I even LOOK at a beer without bein a horrible mom...**** Im sick of people lying to get their way...aint honest!!! well DUH lol. but anywho thats about all I got fer now Im sure I'll have more later

So what was the initial investigation for? Was it leaving the kids alone while you're at work, or being an alcoholic, or what exactly? - I once lived with a guy who had weekend visits with his children and his ex-wife falsely accused him of hitting his daughter, she later admitted to making the story up. I only found out because she later confessed it to me; he had died of cancer and she still carries the guilt of making her daughter make the story up and is afraid it will affect her daughter badly (no ****); people need to ask themselves if they can live with the consequences of their actions if tommorow never came.

 

[lilmizztemper]

So what was the initial investigation for?

the initial inestigation waas due to the fact that my ex claimed I was drunk all the time...and he stated that I was drunk at the time that he called the cops and was kicking me out...they did a breathalizer test on which totally proved him wrong...he based this on the fact that he SAW me at the liquor store...which I WAS but I was there merely talking to the owner about something not alcohol related. Quite frankly to tell the truth, the man was ready to git rid of me, as he was just waiting for the right moment, he didnt need me anymore as he actually learned how to make his own damned money.

 

[lilmizztemper]

Well on the surface, based on your post. The Guy in this case took the initiative to better himself by taking the parenting classes

just because he took many parenting classes does NOT mean he learned how to be a good parent!!! The first time that I got my son back after having him kept from me for 4 months...my lil guy was TERRIFIED to go to sleep by himself, and pretty much would NOT let me out of his sight til bedtime. He was scared because daddy said there were monsters and "bone man" would get him if he didnt go right to sleep. Yeah I believe that because the ******* likes to intimidate people to get what he wants. Not to mention the verbal and mental abuse he dishes out.

Also based on your post there seems to be no monetary benefit in him getting the children. This implies doing it for the right reasons

well I will be having to pay child support!!! he mostly did this to be nasty with me...he knows damned good and well that I am a good mom...Ive been to so many damned counselors its getting stupid. DSS would NOT listen to me when I told them of the abuse we endured, all because I moved three counties away on the advise of Domestic Safety Resources, and my counselor. They believe that he is a dangerous man too.

Are all three children from the same guy?

no sir the older girls are from a previous relationship and their dad just went away, of course after he found him a new girlfriend. He just one day decided he didnt want to be a dad anymore or spouse. The girls seem to be fine though. They are happy girls with tons of energy and very smart too.

How long have you been separated or divorced, were you ever married?

Was married to the girls dad. Ive been separated from my boys father for a year and was never married to him because he said I was un-marriable lol. Whatever...he did propose to me once though...right after he hit me in the back of the head with the damned phone!!!

 

[Jhony5]

I'm curious how you behave when you got angry at him? My ex-wife tells me and everyone else that I'm a violent, verbally abusive person. She never has, nor ever will, realize that her screaming and yelling and inability to listen are what caused us to fight endlessly. After my marriage I had a 3 year relationship with another woman. After 3 years of living together we never so much as yelled, let alone all the name calling. There were plenty of times that we were angry with each other, but no angry fights, not one.

It took years of living with another woman to convince myself that I wasn't a bad person.

I get a sadistic pleasure from hearing my daughter tell me about the violent and angry, on/off relationship that her mother has with her 3 time felon alcoholic boyfriend. Right now hes in prison, again, for felony assault on a minor. She gets evicted in 2 weeks for committing housing assistance fraud. I hurt for, and watch out for ,my daughter. But I admit I enjoy the pain of my ill-tempered ex. She deserves it. For being so angry and never shuting up. She complained to me about her eviction. My advice. Go down there and scream at them for 15 minutes, maybe that'll help.

Anyhow, honestly, how was your temper when dealing when your ex? Did you scream at him? It takes two to fight. If only one person is fighting, then its just one person being an *******.

 

[lilmizztemper]

I'm curious how you behave when you got angry at him? My ex-wife tells me and everyone else that I'm a violent, verbally abusive person. She never has, nor ever will, realize that her screaming and yelling and inability to listen are what caused us to fight endlessly. After my marriage I had a 3 year relationship with another woman. After 3 years of living together we never so much as yelled, let alone all the name calling. There were plenty of times that we were angry with each other, but no angry fights, not one. It took years of living with another woman to convince myself that I wasn't a bad person.

I get a sadistic pleasure from hearing my daughter tell me about the violent and angry, on/off relationship that her mother has with her 3 time felon alcoholic boyfriend. Right now hes in prison, again, for felony assault on a minor. She gets evicted in 2 weeks for committing housing assistance fraud. I hurt for, and watch out for ,my daughter. But I admit I enjoy the pain of my ill-tempered ex. She deserves it. For being so angry and never shuting up. She complained to me about her eviction. My advice. Go down there and scream at them for 15 minutes, maybe that'll help.

Anyhow, honestly, how was your temper when dealing when your ex? Did you scream at him? It takes two to fight. If only one person is fighting, then its just one person being an *******.

Oh I will admit to my share of hollerin....but thats just not me!! I have always been a really sensitive girl...used to be really easy to hurt my feelings. The first year wasnt bad with him...but after that it was all downhill. I would get up 4:30 every morning..go to work..come home then have to do all the dishes, clean the house do laundry, then cook supper, bathe the kids and then put them to bed then find the bed myself. What was he doing the whole time? Sitting on the computer or the phone trying to find out the best ways to get revenge on people he hated....how to grow pot like a pro...**** like that!!! Then when I would mention to him that it would be nice to have a little help around the house, he would get an attitude and end up callin me names and tellin me how worthless I was. Hard to take that calmly and quietly. I am gettin back to my usual happy self now, and I love who I am again. But for so long I had this horrible opinion of myself. Yeah its sad hearing from my son that daddy yelled at him for talkin to a cop. Its too bad that the legal system needs so much undoubtable proof...if the judge were to spend a day with the *******, hed lock his *** in a loony bin!!

 

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

I have read absolute HORROR stories about the DSS in Massachusettes. The agents there get a personal $6,000 bounty for every child they get put into a foster home. I'm not sure if they have done away with the bounty system yet or not, but it gave unscrupulous agents incentive to aggressively attack otherwise normal families.

One case I remember, was a family who were having some difficult times with the father who'd come home drunk about 3 times a week, no abuse, just intoxicated. The mother got upset (and in a moment of utter stupidity) caled the cops. The cops showed up and deemed that nothing was wrong, since the guy was on his own property and there were no signs of domestic violence. But by law, they had to contact the DSS since there were children who might be exposed to an alcoholic.

Well, the DSS agents went to work... The proved the father unfit for being an alcoholic, and get this... The mother was unfit because in the testimony she gave the police in the original complaint, she claimed that the father was always drunk... So DSS proved that she negligently put her children in danger by not acting sooner!

The children were split up and sent to foster homes. It took the mother and father 3 years, and a divorce to get their children back, just so some block head government goon could make a couple of bucks.

real sad case but true!

http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/site/index.php This is a site for single fathers, but it should help in your case.

One more suggestion... GET A LAWYER!

 

[lilmizztemper]

yeah I got a lawyer...and shes tellin me to just let it go and go along with everything they want me to do...for now! My ex is a coniving ******* thats for sure, but she just KNOWS he is gonna screw up. The part that kills me is what my boy is being put through because of all this. He misses his sisters and his mommy.

The "*******" even gets away with arson. My parents had a fire out at their house on the ranch. It wass obviously started on purpose..but my dad wouldnt report to the authorities as he hates cops and dont believe they would have ever found the person who did it. Well last month I was out at mom and dads with my boy and he asked me what happened to the wall. I told him gramma and grampa had a fire. He went on to ask me who made the fire...why would a 4 year old think of askin who made it? I told him I didnt know how it started. Then he went on to tell me how his daddy and him drove all the way there and daddy started the fire on the curtains with a lighter while he waited in the car. I about flipped out...I really never thought that HE could have been behind it, but I DO believe my son...so I did have a sheriffs deputy take a statement from him, but we decided not to press charges because of the fact that my son would have to get up in front of a judge and his daddy and tell the story. Thats simply too much for a 4 year old who is so concerned with being a cowboy and playing on his tractor.

*** **** breaks my heart but my laywer is right still...he will screw up now that his guard is let down!

 

[tiredofwhiners]

yeah I got a lawyer...and shes tellin me to just let it go and go along with everything they want me to do...for now! My ex is a coniving ******* thats for sure, but she just KNOWS he is gonna screw up. The part that kills me is what my boy is being put through because of all this. He misses his sisters and his mommy.
The "*******" even gets away with arson. My parents had a fire out at their house on the ranch. It wass obviously started on purpose..but my dad wouldnt report to the authorities as he hates cops and dont believe they would have ever found the person who did it. Well last month I was out at mom and dads with my boy and he asked me what happened to the wall. I told him gramma and grampa had a fire. He went on to ask me who made the fire...why would a 4 year old think of askin who made it? I told him I didnt know how it started. Then he went on to tell me how his daddy and him drove all the way there and daddy started the fire on the curtains with a lighter while he waited in the car. I about flipped out...I really never thought that HE could have been behind it, but I DO believe my son...so I did have a sheriffs deputy take a statement from him, but we decided not to press charges because of the fact that my son would have to get up in front of a judge and his daddy and tell the story. Thats simply too much for a 4 year old who is so concerned with being a cowboy and playing on his tractor.

*** **** breaks my heart but my laywer is right still...he will screw up now that his guard is let down!

4 years old don't make **** like that up. That boy needs to be AWAY from that man (who i would have a hard time calling a father). A 4 year old should not be scared to go to bed let alone be in a house. I feel a bad story coming over the next years if he continues this pattern.

P.S. use spell check

 

[Jhony5]

Oh I will admit to my share of hollerin....but thats just not me!!

Honestly I believe you.

I engaged in many screaming fights with my ex. I would get yelled at and insulted for some time, all the while remaining calm, then at some point....POW. Now I'm ******* ****** and your gonna hear me if I have to scream it. As I said, I thought I did have a temper issue until my last relationship.

Lilmizz, You just ain't met the right guy. Unfortunately there are no real indicators that I'm aware of to tell in advance what kind of person your dealing with. My ex-wife and I got along great for about 2 years. After my daughter was born **** got hot real quick.

 

[lilmizztemper]

4 years old don't make **** like that up. That boy needs to be AWAY from that man (who i would have a hard time calling a father). A 4 year old should not be scared to go to bed let alone be in a house. I feel a bad story coming over the next years if he continues this pattern.
P.S. use spell check

yeah he most certainly does need to be away from his dad, at least until the man can get himself together. A child needs a mom AND a dad in his or her life, and I dont ever have any intentions of taking his dad from him totally. As it stands right now, I screwed up when I tried to stand up against DSS in his county (where I used to live). After months of telling this social worker and begging and pleading with her to do something...I get a response like "can you prove these things?" but when HE goes to that same lady and tells her Im an alcoholic, and I dont take care of my children...well all **** breaks loose.

My counselor has actually set up suprise UA's for both of us. The social worker said she was going to call my ex and have him there. But then when it was time to do it, the social worker said she decided that it was not right to intrude on his privacy like that and she decided not to call him in. I was still willing to take the UA...I had nuthin to hide, she then tells me that I would have to pay for it myself and I just didnt have $30 with me at the time.

A month later I go in for counseling and that same ol ***** hands me a cup and tells me she needs a UA...I in turn told her to **** off and get a damned court order!!! BAAAAAD IDEA!!!! It ****** her off enough to take my son from me and I didnt see him again for 4 months. Well the county got to spend all this money on attorneys and court costs to order me to have a UA and it came up clean...which Im sure ****** her off even more. But I was the idiot in this instance because I let my emotions take over and I got attitude because I was frusterated.

Now I am the un-fit parent...but DSS in my county does not see it that way. They are doing all they can do to help me get my boy back.

 

[lilmizztemper]

Honestly I believe you.
I engaged in many screaming fights with my ex. I would get yelled at and insulted for some time, all the while remaining calm, then at some point....POW. Now I'm ******* ****** and your gonna hear me if I have to scream it. As I said, I thought I did have a temper issue until my last relationship.

Lilmizz, You just ain't met the right guy. Unfortunately there are no real indicators that I'm aware of to tell in advance what kind of person your dealing with. My ex-wife and I got along great for about 2 years. After my daughter was born **** got hot real quick.

ya know?? there is only so much insult a person can take before they break. I know what you went thru Jhony, and I am glad to hear ya made it thru okay!!! Mental and verbal abuse can be worse than someone smackin the **** outta ya. It can make things really scary especially when theres threats that go along with it all.

 

[phreakwars]

First of all, we ain't a ******* support group around here, so if you are expecting sympathy, it will only be because of the stance you have taken.. Second, here's the thing about the DSS, or in my state they would be more known as HHS (Health & Human Services).

The people that "allegedly" educate themselves to work at these jobs, are people with grandeur visions in their head that they are doing what's "RIGHT" for humanity. They have a specific criteria they must follow to ensure a child's safety.. One of those is DOUBT. When an accusation is thrown , unlike in the law where you are innocent till proven guilty. In the interest of protecting the child from future abuses, you are guilty before proven innocent.

I won't even comment on how much I hate DSS because you will then open up a barrage of hatred on me about them never like any seen before upon this board.

People, that I can say, are the ACTUAL CAUSE of my Severe depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I have just come to a point in my life... after 8 years of living with it, to finally find focus and direction.

My best advice to you, is be who you always were. Sounds to me like he's playing a ******* blame game with you over probably **** that DID happen, but not the way he says.

Do YOU have a crime record ?? And if so for what ?? Past history strengthens an accusation. It's as simple as that.

But DSS has to, because of the way laws are written... remove children from places where harm can be somewhat proven.. doesn't matter if it's true.

Until then your forced to kiss their *** and prove that you are the "IDEAL SOCIALLY ACCEPTED PARENT"... Usually a law writers ideal home life is reflected upon by their oh so happy puppy dog memories of life as a ******* self righteous snob who always thought he was better then everyone anyways... Jesus told him/her so.. and life was "rough" back then.

Yeah, absolutely **** DSS and all their ******* self righteous, sanctomonious , were only looking out for your child bullshit.

.

.

 

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

There's a serious lesson to be learned here, folks. That is Never, get the governement involved in your life. In this case, lilmizztemper's X called the DSS first. I'm sure your lawyer has told you, make sure you keep your house spotless clean, plenty of milk and fruits in the frig, and don't drink, smoke (especially weed) or do anything that might offend the goose-stepping ****-agents of the DSS.

 

[lilmizztemper]

First of all, we ain't a ******* support group around here, so if you are expecting sympathy, it will only be because of the stance you have taken...

not lookin fer sympathy...just tellin it as it is. its an issue that "****** me off" aint that what Im supposed to be talkin bout here? I live in No Mans Land (literally) and not too many folks to talk to...so I find myself getting rid of the tensions by typing it all out. I dont really give a **** either way what ya'll think of me, Im just getting rid of this bottled up tension

Do YOU have a crime record ?? And if so for what ?? Past history strengthens an accusation. It's as simple as that..

um...nope my slates clean cept for a speeding ticket in Texas in 1999 and a deferred sentence back in 1997 for Minor in Possession (alcohol). I wasnt even drinkin at the time, was givin a drunk friend a ride home jsut had bad timing...but Colorado law states that anyone under the age of 21 CANNOT be somewhere where there is alcohol and no adult!

There's a serious lesson to be learned here, folks. That is Never, get the governement involved in your life. In this case, lilmizztemper's X called the DSS first. I'm sure your lawyer has told you, make sure you keep your house spotless clean, plenty of milk and fruits in the frig, and don't drink, smoke (especially weed) or do anything that might offend the goose-stepping ****-agents of the DSS.

HAHAHAA...I just looooove the suprise visits that DSS conducts...last time he came to visit I was paranoid about the dishes not being done and a pile of laundry that was not gettin washed but he just laughed and said "you should see MY house" This guy told me that DSS does not like to get involved in Custody battles and that as long as I "behave" everything will be just fine. Ya see Im dealing with two different counties here...with two different outlooks on things...I cant say that all Social workers are scum, cuz this guy seems to treat me like a human being and understands where Im coming from...the other lady is a total waste of tax payers money!!!

 

[Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell]

...HAHAHAA...I just looooove the suprise visits that DSS conducts...last time he came to visit I was paranoid about the dishes not being done and a pile of laundry that was not gettin washed but he just laughed and said "you should see MY house" This guy told me that DSS does not like to get involved in Custody battles and that as long as I "behave" everything will be just fine. Ya see Im dealing with two different counties here...with two different outlooks on things...I cant say that all Social workers are scum, cuz this guy seems to treat me like a human being and understands where Im coming from...the other lady is a total waste of tax payers money!!!

It sounds like the DSS agent is a decent guy, but the nicer your house looks and the closer you look to being "June Cleaver" the faster they'll drop your case and leave you alone. I know it isn't fair, it's just the way things are.

 

[lilmizztemper]

View attachment 1270

AWWWWW now aint that sweet???

 

[Jhony5]

View attachment 1270
AWWWWW now ain't that sweet???

I'm laughing at that one. Makes me think of all the times I've told my ex that if she doesn't straighten up, our daughter will turn out just like her. I'd e-mail that to her but unfortunately my ex couldn't tell a PC from a microwave.

I've actually put serious thought to trying for full custody, but to do so I'd have to get CPS (Child Protection Services) involved. However I do not want my daughter mixed up in the system. My ex would say anything about me to stop it, and then they'd be poking around in my business. The best I can do is educate my daughter so she grows up smart and level headed.

 

[lilmizztemper]

I'm laughing at that one. Makes me think of all the times I've told my ex that if she doesn't straighten up, our daughter will turn out just like her. I'd e-mail that to her but unfortunately my ex couldn't tell a PC from a microwave.
I've actually put serious thought to trying for full custody, but to do so I'd have to get CPS (Child Protection Services) involved. However I do not want my daughter mixed up in the system. My ex would say anything about me to stop it, and then they'd be poking around in my business. The best I can do is educate my daughter so she grows up smart and level headed.

thats prolly a good idea for the moment...I only get my boy every other weekend right now, and Im not planning on doing anything at the moment to change it, because Im tired of the lies and the anguish my boy must be going thru...*** help him that he grows up to have some real values. Its a hard thing to do though. But Im just gonna let the system go thru its lilphase then try to stay the **** away from anymore of the legal and political BS. yeah it sucks having em snoopin into my life...especially when it comes to my nightstand