emkay - pour vous! (very long read)

Per our discussion the other day, I thought I'd share this with you. I don't know if it will help at all, but it's something to consider.

 

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7 signs you're an empath:

 

 

When in public, do you constantly feel overwhelmed with inexplicable emotions for which you can?t determine the reason?

 

Example. You drop by the mall one Saturday morning. You feel great. You get into the mall, walk past a crowd of people, and start feeling a bit strangely. It can be anything ? you can feel very down, very angry, very sad, very excitable ? the key word here is VERY. And you won?t have any explanation for it, you just feel it. In other words, you?ve suddenly gone Bi-Polar without actually having the biological deficiency that causes it. And what?s worse, you can?t turn it off. You can carry on, trying to ignore it, but eventually it will be overwhelming to the point you just want to go home and be alone.

 

This is the reality of an Empath ? one who hasn?t yet learned how to block other people?s emotions out. Being around other people is such a harrowing experience, most of them prefer to keep their own company, living the life of a hermit. And they usually find it very much worth it.

 

 

Do you experience other people's physical ailments?

 

This is most common with those you have an emotional connection, but can occur with anyone. A very good example of this would be suddenly feeling very lethargic and fatiqued, for no reason, and having to remain in bed for a day or two. You?re not sick ? not really. You?re not ill. Yet, you feel that you are, profoundly. You later find out that your ?illness? coincided with a lover?s or family member?s sudden fatigue (resulting from legitimate illness)? even though they were in another country at the time and you had no idea until after the fact. Symptoms can also manifest in the form of chest pains, cramps, migraines, etc ? you basically experience it all, without contracting the actual illness.

 

 

Do you feel overwhelmed when watching something horrible in real life or even on television?

 

This one sounds silly, but viewing the news or depressing commercials designed to induce sympathy and open wallets, can debilitate an Empath for several hours. While most people get upset over homeless dogs and cats, an Empath will often feel like their hearts have been lanced. That?s a literal definition, by the way. It?s not something as shallow as sympathy or even regular empathy. It?s a feeling of guilt and moral empathy that cannot be easily assuaged. Crying is very common ? and not just during that time of month when all the emotions are out of whack!

 

 

Do you ALWAYS know what someone really means?

 

In other words, can you always, always, always tell what it is someone meant to say to you? More importantly, can you tell why they didn?t? If an Empath is in person with someone and they?ve just been lied to, they will know. And they will know why. They will know if the other person is trying to spare feelings, they will know if malice was involved ? in other words, they will know the intent. You cannot lie in the face of an Empath and not be caught out. While they will not usually be able to tell the specifics of what you?re hiding, they will know if you mean them well or not ? no exceptions. This is more than good intuition. This isn?t a hunch, this is knowing.

 

 

Do you feel compelled to care for anyone in pain, no matter who they are and what they?ve done to you?

 

A true Empath cannot walk past someone suffering and not feel a need to stop and help that person. Homeless people can be particularly difficult, as they are everywhere and little can be done to help them unless the Empath has an occupation related to this. A true Empath feels compelled to go to anyone they feel pain from, be it angst or something physical. And a true Empath's compassion will usually be accepted on the spot ? people in pain, no matter how they would normally react to strangers, will receive an Empath with open arms. They know, instinctively, that their pain matters to them.

 

 

Do people open up to you ? even if you don?t want them to?

 

Some Empaths are the new-agey peace loving types ? but many just want to be alone, because they have difficulty processing everything they absorb from other people. (This is usually because they have yet to realize their abilities and haven?t learned to deal with it yet.) For an Empath, however, putting on a grumpy face doesn't keep people they barely know drawing near and seeking compassion and empathy from them. The ill, the suffering, the weak ? they are all drawn to the unconditional understanding and compassion an Empath emits. And Empaths emit it whether they want to or not.

 

That?s not to say Empaths can?t be mean and nasty people. They surely can be. But it?s usually those Empaths with the most profound sensitivity who have simply broken down inside and have no other way of keeping other?s emotions at bay. Again, these are Empaths who don?t know of their abilities.

 

 

Can you heal?

 

Most Empaths have the ability to heal. Yes, that means physically. This isn?t about Reiki or any other alternative modality ? though they may seem similar in concept. An Empath heals instinctively, usually by drawing the pain or ailment out and accepting it into their own bodies. For obvious reasons, this is not recommended for anyone who doesn?t know how to keep from becoming ill in the process.

 

In today?s day and age, everyone seems to want to be psychic to some degree. That?s probably due our evolution as human beings. Assuming we?re evolving, and not regressing.. Therefore, many people reading this will likely think themselves Empathic. I cannot stress the following enough ? there is nothing fun about being an Empath. It?s often a very draining and miserable existence in which you feel like you have to be entirely alone in order to survive. It is not glamorous, it is not exciting, it is painful more often than not.

 

My point here is this is not something one aspires to. If you?re an Empath, you will know this is you, you will not be saying ?hmm.. maybe? hmm?? If you feel (without hesitation!) these apply to you as I?ve just described, then also know there are ways of coping, and I?ll get into them in future articles. With a little self-awareness you can turn your curse into a gift, especially when it comes to being able to ease the emotional and physical pain of others.

 

Source: 7 Signs You're An Empath

I can't speak on behalf of all other empaths (though I'm sure Merc will have a lot more insight here) but I can tell you how my life experience as one has been.

 

I was a sensitive child. I've always known what people were feeling toward me, if someone was in pain or hurting, and had an affinity and connection with animals for as long as I can remember. When my parents would fight, it was horrible because it wasn't just the fear of "are mommy and daddy going to get a divorce?" going through my head, I could actually perceive the anguish, anger, hurt and bitterness that each of my parents were feeling themselves and toward one another. That's a lot to absorb when you're four years old.

 

When I was in the fourth grade, there as a boy in my class who the other kids liked to pick on a lot. One day he was sitting alone on a swing on the playground and a bunch of the kids started teasing him and calling him names. Suddenly I felt such overwhelming sorrow for him....FROM him! When I felt his sadness, I went over to him and gave him a hug which is quite an unorthodox move for a fourth grader to do. He thanked me and I told the other kids to leave him alone so they left. That night, I overheard my parents talking and found out his dad had committed suicide.

 

As a child, when I would sense someone else's pain, it would make me cry. I cried a lot...because I sensed a lot. People would tell me "don't be so sensitive", "it's nothing to cry over", "quit being such a baby", etc...and eventually I got so sick of being punished for being "empathic" that I swung the other direction and closed myself off emotionally. I learned how to stand up for myself and if pushed too far, I learned how to be mean. I didn't cry anymore, but I didn't share my feelings with anyone, either. When I'm cold, I can block out the vibrations...but when I'm cold, I also block out myself.

 

Vibrations probably is the best way to describe how it happens for me. Energy vibrates and sometimes you feel the vibration of another person and are able to hone in on it and absorb it yourself. Most of the time it strikes me when I'm unawares. Sometimes I can sense the vibration and pick and choose whether I want to tune into it or not. And while it doesn't always work, I can choose people I want to tune into at will and when I do, it's almost as if they become a part of my own being. This is something I usually try to avoid because I often catch feelings I don't want. That's why I have a hard time with relationships...I can't help but to tune into the object of my affection and when it's good, it's fun but when they pull away, lose interest, turn their attentions to someone else, or have whatever reason to terminate our relationship I ALWAYS see it coming because I feel it and push them away before the inevitable break up happens.

 

It sucks.

 

When someone lies to me, I always know it. I feel the lie. I won't necessarily let them know I know it, however. I've learned to pick and choose my battles when it comes to such things.

 

Among my friends, I am the one everyone goes to when they have a break up, are upset, are in pain, etc... Even people I don't know very well will "unload" on me. When I was a stylist, I was amazed at the private, personal details that people would reveal to me once I had my fingers in their hair. I had one guy about my dad's age who started coming in once a week for a scalp massage and one day he told me about the time he was living in an orphanage and was molested! Afterwards, he said he'd never told anyone that...not even his wife. He'd tip me $20 after every session and told me I was better than a shrink...and cheaper!

 

This year, my abilities have been stronger than ever before. I don't know why it's happening, but it's been very overwhelming for me and I'm finally being forced to acknowledge that I have this....gift? I'm researching it more in order to find ways to control it and perhaps even use it to help people, if I can. I have dabbled in "healing through touch" and have had varying degrees of success with it. I've gotten to the point where I can usually absorb the other person's pain, but where I've hit a wall is what to do with it after I absorb it. I need to learn how to purge it so as not to poison myself. I'm hoping to discuss this with a spiritual teacher/guide because if I have the ability to help people, I do want to try.

 

I'm now convinced my nephew is an empath based on his own behaviors. In fact, I think he may even have a stronger gift than I do. Yesterday he and I were sitting downstairs playing with a puzzle that had a dog and a cat on it. He held up the dog piece and said, "I miss my dog."

 

"You do?" I asked. I was surprised because they had given their dog away over a year ago and I was amazed he remembered her.

 

"Yeah," he said. Then he held up the cat piece and said, "Do you miss Scratchy? Are you sad?"

 

I hadn't told him that Scratchy was gone. "I do miss Scratchy, sweetheart. I miss him a lot."

 

Then my nephew turned around and gave me a huge hug, bringing tears to my eyes. And I'm convinced at his tender age, he was trying to absorb MY sorrow! Before I left, I asked my brother if they had told him that I'd given up Scratchy.....they hadn't. Jacob just knew.

 

So that's how it is for me. No one here has to believe it....I don't care. I don't talk about it because I know people think it's a bunch of hogwash and that's fine. To each their own. All I can tell you for sure is it's a crazy life....but it's mine.

 

 

And em...if I can be of any help, please let me know.

I believe there really are those who are able to do things that cannot be explained, but I also believe some who "think" they are empathic are actually suffering from a kind of schizophrenia or other mental illness.

 

 

People who are crazy fully believe heart and soul that when is happening in their heads is real. Now, how do we tell the two apart?

I believe there really are those who are able to do things that cannot be explained, but I also believe some who "think" they are empathic are actually suffering from a kind of schizophrenia or other mental illness.

 

 

People who are crazy fully believe heart and soul that when is happening in their heads is real. Now, how do we tell the two apart?

 

I'm not in the mood for this today, so I'm going to create a separate thread in the "free for all"...JUST FOR YOU....to be inflammatory in.

So much of what you typed rings soooooo true for me, too, Ali.... especially mom & dad fighting and being able to tune into lies.

 

I normally just let the lies go, because I never have actual proof to refute it with and someone could (and have) easily convince me that I was crazy for thinking such things.... but in my heart, I know.

 

I also remember a boy in grade school that was picked on all the time. One time on the bus stands out really strongly. It broke my heart, and still does when I allow myself to think about it. This one kid made him kiss his butt before he'd allow him to pass through to get off the bus. That poor kid bent over, and did it. I never participated in picking on other kids, but I never stood up for them, either. I have a hard time forgiving myself for that, because I felt what they went through, and I should have done something, said something.... I know that if I ever ran into the nasty kid today, I'd remind him of what an ass he was.

 

I had some of the same experiences as a nail tech, too.... I think all the touching has something to dowith that.

 

I had one client that had lost her husband and son through carbon monoxide poisoning a few years earlier. She and her daughter barely survived. She was remarried and was pregnant when she started coming to me. Every appointment turned to speaking about this event in her life.... always through her starting to talk about it. I never brought it up. One visit stands out more than others... she had just found out she was having a boy and wasn't sure if she could handle that yet. (She also tipped very well.)

 

Another client was involved in the Bobbi Amos murder... though not directly. Her boyfriend and Bobbi's husband (Ed Amos- you can google him, he liked to kill his wives, for insurance money... got away with it until he killed Bobbi, too. He's also suspected of killing his own mother, but I'm not sure any charges were ever brought up for that one.) were business partners and it was their hotel room that Ed dumped the syringe he used to overdose Bobbi with. The Lifetime movie Black Widower is based around this event. I don't know why she confided this information in me, but she did. She was also one of the only clients I invited to continue being a client in my home after I left the salon, and the only person that my Chow didn't bite, or even try to. She loved Darci, me, Chris and that's it. (another really good tipper!)

 

I like to go out and be social, but have a really hard time dealing with masses of people.... my brain gets all confused and I feel like my mood changes by the second.

 

Like, I said the other day... I have a lot of walls built up now, so it doesn't happen as often as it used to, but I often walk around with, for lack of a better description, a sense of doom, and I'll later find out that someone was going through something.

 

The last time I remember having a big reaction to anything was during the Katrina coverage.... I could NOT pull myself away from it for days. When I was finally able to, I'd see an Alabama or Louisiana license plate on the highway and would burst out crying because someone made it out alive.

 

I found that all of it was heightened while I was pregnant... to the point of knowing who was on the other end of the phone when it rang, and why they were calling, each and every time, before I picked it up and without the benefit of caller ID.

That is really interesting Ali.

 

I admit that certain things have happened, things I can't explain like the example I gave you recently.

 

In certain cases I DO feel very uncomfortable...ie. malls. I just feel drained and I assume it's because I abhor crowds.

 

I DO know when people are upset, tired, unhappy, angry etc.....I just assumed I was a good read lol.

 

I can definitely make people feel better by talking etc., but I doubt I am a healer per se.

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As I mentioned previous...Emily has developed an ulcer. It causes me great concern due to her age...and I have no doubt she feels things on a deeper level than I do. She is definitely bothered by images on TV etc. and the suffering of other people. She worries....a lot. As I mentioned...in the hospital, she was worried about me being worried lol.

 

It is very interesting...I've read up a bit since we last talked, and I definitely feel that some of it can apply to her absolutely.

 

I dunno about the spiritual connection, but I don't disbelieve either. I DO believe that some people feel on a deeper level though.

 

Thanks for the info Ali...I'm going to read some more, and we'll discuss lol.

Merc understands.

 

Emkay...you ARE a healer. Much more than you realize.

This is a very interesting post. I truly don't think I felt too much of anything as a young child. I blocked most of it out. I found myself very intuned after a certain incident that happened to me and my best friend that I don't like to talk about.

 

I now consider myself very perceptive. One such case was a friend of mine who was recently divorced and his wife just left him with two kids. On the surface he seemed happy and sweet and put together. He was interested in my girlfriend who had no interest in him. He and I became good friends and I painted an addition to his house and got to hang out with him quite a bit. As he pursued my girlfriend and she blew him off, I could see the depression setting in. He told me a few things about work slowing down real bad, and told me he could ask his family for help but didn't want to. I could see the change in him, the quietness, the sad look. I contacted his uncle out of the phone book and told him I was concerned. Then I didn't see him for months. I ran into him later and he was telling me he met a wonderful woman, his family had contacted him with business in the family business and he thought it was all miraculous. He then told me before that he was thinking about killing himself.

This next one is real sad, but I never forgot her. I barely knew this girl. Her name was Debi. She worked for the same company I did for about 7 years, just a different division. I sometimes worked with her as I worked in several different departments. The most we ever said to each other was Hello.

 

She always had lunch with the same group of girls. One of the girls was an acquaintance of mine outside of work. They always seemed to keep to themselves, and even seemed a bit snobish.

 

One day in the coffee line, she was standing next to me and I thought looked real sad. I then noticed she was sitting by herself which was highly unusual. To me she looked so sad, that I approached her and asked her if she was ok. She seemed surprised that a virtual stranger had asked, and said real sheepishly " I'm ok, thank you"

 

She died that weekend of a herion overdose. A complete shock. Turns out her husband was divorcing her. He was a drug counselor. They found her dead in a strangers apt in the worse part of Mass. Before that her wedding pictures were in the Boston Herald, she was one of the lucky ones we all thought.

 

So sad.

This is a very interesting post. I truly don't think I felt too much of anything as a young child. I blocked most of it out. I found myself very intuned after a certain incident that happened to me and my best friend that I don't like to talk about.

 

I now consider myself very perceptive. One such case was a friend of mine who was recently divorced and his wife just left him with two kids. On the surface he seemed happy and sweet and put together. He was interested in my girlfriend who had no interest in him. He and I became good friends and I painted an addition to his house and got to hang out with him quite a bit. As he pursued my girlfriend and she blew him off, I could see the depression setting in. He told me a few things about work slowing down real bad, and told me he could ask his family for help but didn't want to. I could see the change in him, the quietness, the sad look. I contacted his uncle out of the phone book and told him I was concerned. Then I didn't see him for months. I ran into him later and he was telling me he met a wonderful woman, his family had contacted him with business in the family business and he thought it was all miraculous. He then told me before that he was thinking about killing himself.

 

 

There is a unique vibration that emanates from those who are so low...so desperate...that they consider committing ultimate act of self-destruction. I believe you definitely must have picked up on it in this situation.

There is a unique vibration that emanates from those who are so low...so desperate...that they consider committing ultimate act of self-destruction. I believe you definitely must have picked up on it in this situation.

I believe you are right. What scares me is how many people don't. Poor Debi, where were all her so called friends. She looked deserted to me. Funny how people disappear when you need them. Then my other friend, none of his friends noticed either. I don't know how that is.

I'm not in the mood for this today, so I'm going to create a separate thread in the "free for all"...JUST FOR YOU....to be inflammatory in.

 

Actually I was not trying to be negative, I believe in this stuff actually. My mother called my great neice the other day and told her to go get a pregnancy test because she had the feeling she was pregnant........turns out she was pregnant, there is no logical way of explaining that. My great neice lives in Michigan and my mother lives in Florida.

 

I was only pointing out that what causes a lot of people to doubt these things is that some are actually crazy, not an insult to admit that.