Favourite Family Guy Monologue

[Kieran]

Just post your favourite Family Guy monologues here, here is one:

Tom: We now go live to Ollie Williams with the Black U Weather report, Ollie...

Ollie: It's raining side ways!

Tom: Do you have a Umbrella?

Ollie: Inside out two miles away!

Tom: Is there anything we can get you?

Ollie: Soup!

Tom: What type?

Ollie: CHUNKY!!

 

[Steve]

Meg: I'm going to go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts

Peter: ...

Meg: IM ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS

Peter: ...

Meg: YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME ^runs away^

Peter: Who was that guy?

 

[Kieran]

Tom: We now to live to Ollie Williams.. Ollie how are you keeping cool in this heat?

Ollie: Swimming Hole!

Tom: And now this...

 

[God]

peter: Shut up meg

nuff sed

 

[Steve]

Chris: Meg

Peter: pfttttt

 

[Kieran]

Peter Griffin: Gee, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you could use some fine strapping young men like us on your schooner.

Carter Pewterschmidt: Are you saying I'm gay?

Peter Griffin: What? Are you sure you, you, you, you don't want more seamen on, on, on your **** deck?

 

[Tyler]

Tom: and now we go to Ollie Williams who is at the local dog shelter

Ollie: Who wants this dog?

Tom: Thanks Ollie

 

[Kieran]

Interviewer: [Peter is at a job interview] So, Peter, where do you see yourself in ten years?

Peter Griffin: [thinks] Don't say doin' your wife, don't say doin' your wife...

[out loud]

Peter Griffin: Doin' your, er...

[sees photo of interviewer on the beach with his wife and son]

Peter Griffin: ... son?

[interviewer's shocked expression]

 

[Tyler]

Interviewer: [Peter is at a job interview] So, Peter, where do you see yourself in ten years? Peter Griffin: [thinks] Don't say doin' your wife, don't say doin' your wife...

[out loud]

Peter Griffin: Doin' your, er...

[sees photo of interviewer on the beach with his wife and son]

Peter Griffin: ... son?

[interviewer's shocked expression]

Aha, I remember that moment, I LOL'd so hard the first time I saw it xD