Fribby's verbal gallery 2.0

the writers corner seems to be doing good so I'm going to test how good a thread like this might go.

 

and yeah, as I think, it seems like there's actually some feedback on loose floatin around in here...unlike some times when it's been hella bad.

 

alright, as you see this is number 2, here's thread number one:

http://www.linkinparkforums.com/showthread.php?t=9794

don't visit that shit though lol, basically it's me posting my not so good stuff and people giving comments. I'd like to think I've grown better now lol

and I figured since it's been a year since I last was active with this stuff and how good it made me feel and how good the writers corner seems to be, that I'd try again. I'm getting back into poetry and raps, havin taken a break from that when I left. after all the reason I write in english at all is that I have friends on here lol

 

alright I'm not gonna bore you anymore, here's my first one this time round

this is called lpf right now, and was supposed to be to the beat of FM's Right now

 

right now, there's a person I know in Australia

who's sittin at their desk and thinkin they're a failure

and meanwhile I walk to school and curse-the-weather

which inspires me to put all those words-together

a certain somebody has friends that are two-faced

and the pain grows worse in the rain in the UK

a guy in the States workin hard but the truth-is

his job he finds stupid, only wants to make music

everyday's the same and he tries not to lose-it

makin excuses to get away from abusin

cause his dad-is-a-drunk and he's been bad-for-a-month

so sad cause he calls him a fag-and-it's-dumb

all-are-we-here cause there's no-place-to-go

we swallow-our-fears and we know-when-to-roll

but we hold it all in, in our real-lives

and we hope we find friends on the screen-all-the-time

maybe it's a dream that I have in my mind

but I still like to stay here all of the time

 

But no we're just taking it in

at another strange forum, surfin again

maybe I'll leave and I'll never come back

cause on the internet it all change just like that,

Like that

 

 

and I decided to throw in the only good ones from the old thread, so that you for real shouldn't check it out lol

 

 

verse

this here earth life can some serious trouble

you all know what I mean, I'm not burstin any bubbles

I remember all those years I used to hop into puddles

but now it's more like depression, loneliness and struggle

I remember hugging grandpa, but now he's gone away

he died long ago from cancer, but hell, we all do someday

I flip the pages of a newspaper, all I see today

is the way that the hate has grown they say

I try my best to remain, the same no name

I don't like attention, it just brings in the pain

in my line of work, I don't have time to hurt

I only find the worst when the customer's kind of a jerk

chorus:

this world is a place where you win or lose

the things we face depend on the path we choose

enjoying the stay, is the hardest task

we all look away, or we hide behind masks

 

 

the boy was born long ago

he's grown up now but

still behaves like a boy

but he didn't use to do that

when he was younger he'd take good care

of his mother

he was sensitive

he was gentle

but no more

he's grown up now, he has power now

the power to rule his mother

how absurd

he dominates his mother, who yet takes care of him

he takes advantage of her

treads on her

his mother's not old, middle-aged at most

but already looks as if ready to die

but not just yet, there's still more time

for the boy to abuse

but the boy is stupid, what will he do?

when the mother who raised him

heads to see her foremothers

in the land of the lost

and the boy left on his own

will he live?

 

 

 

 

A Bridge

 

a bridge

by the bridge is a boat

and on the bridge is a box

with a charm made of gold

a man comes by, makes a stop

he sits down

what's in that box?

he tries to open it but can't

so he stands up, sticks around for a while

then walks away, and never comes back

but he always thinks back

and he knows he should've had the crow bar in his backpack that day

Those are fuckin cool...I like'em

Especially the way it is, Just somethin I can't explain -.-;

But I like'em

right now, there's a person I know in Australia

who's sittin at their desk and thinkin they're a failure

and meanwhile I walk to school and curse-the-weather

which inspires me to put all those words-together

a certain somebody has friends that are two-faced

and the pain grows worse in the rain in the UK

a guy in the States workin hard but the truth-is

his job he finds stupid, only wants to make music

everyday's the same and he tries not to lose-it

makin excuses to get away from abusin

cause his dad-is-a-drunk and he's been bad-for-a-month

so sad cause he calls him a fag-and-it's-dumb

all-are-we-here cause there's no-place-to-go

we swallow-our-fears and we know-when-to-roll

but we hold it all in, in our real-lives

and we hope we find friends on the screen-all-the-time

maybe it's a dream that I have in my mind

but I still like to stay here all of the time

 

But no we're just taking it in

at another strange forum, surfin again

maybe I'll leave and I'll never come back

cause on the internet it all change just like that,

Like that

 

 

I love this one...and it's so true....you should record it...could be the official LPF anthem...

^ ya that one is awesome!

very good lyrics

thanks you guys

 

 

now, I've been listening to a lot of Eminem lately, so let's see what the cat dragged in...

 

 

this here is an example of adlib magic

rapid fast clap your hands for the gadgets

tap the source of your force fields shield the weapon

planted this franticness into your system I reckon

manic depression, therapy sessions, that's some shit

special meds spread the sickness, throw a fit

project innocence on these walls of silence

stylistic twisted minded yet absent of violence

face the facts, you can't change the past

track this shit back to how you always finish last

elastic plastic spoons for you to follow tunes

soon you'll see how lunatics sail to the moon

it's noon and you still don't bring it down

prepare to declare your stare against the frowns

clowns rapping makin up vowels and nouns

so it fits their spit and shitty sound

 

 

 

need somebody to fill in for grillin

see me step up like regis philbin

this shit's the best, so pictureesque

sit at your desk and guess who's a mess

this lyrical miracle ain't about the topic

I just mirror my mind, unwind and make the profit

to quote a good song, I just don't give a fuck

I'm just livin up and I think I did enough

back in black and retracting method acting

fact is, you lack this, you pack shit, and no tactics

think you're a strategist, all you are is a masochist

you don't have the fastest shit just because you draft your spit

messing with me is desecrating your own grave

think you're so brave, but in reality you've no game

noname with no fame, in a movie you wouldn't get a whole frame

you with your gold chains, that shit's your sole aim

 

you're like a dealer hooked on his main supply

you change your rhymes in vain to try

to paint pictures with the same old lies

the day goes by, you rap, but there ain't no vibe

you march in and I still kill your stale sound

me vs. you is like kobe vs. someone from the playground

Oooh I remember that one about the person in Australia!! Good thing you decided to post this stuff Fribby! It's so charming... The way you express yourself is always charming anyway. Like I say to my sis, this is a gift! Some people have it, some don't... but you do. My bright intelligent friend...

thank you very much jojo dear

 

a little something I wrote just now:

 

she's such a pretty woman

her body work of art

a thing that we both carry:

a strong but troubled heart

 

most beautiful of doctors

with warm and gentle touch

and although she's just a fiction

I adore her very much

 

she works in a prison

and sarah is her name

and if you're ever locked up

she can heal your pain

 

she has a smile of angels

which never comes to fade

buried in my memory

all through my last day

thank you very much jojo dear

 

a little something I wrote just now:

 

she's such a pretty woman

her body work of art

a thing that we both carry:

a strong but troubled heart

 

most beautiful of doctors

with warm and gentle touch

and although she's just a fiction

I adore her very much

 

she works in a prison

and sarah is her name

and if you're ever locked up

she can heal your pain

 

she has a smile of angels

which never comes to fade

buried in my memory

all through my last day

I liked this bro. Its really good

I love this one...and it's so true....you should record it...could be the official LPF anthem...

Could not have put that better myself *stand on a chair and cheers and applauds wildly*

 

The way you write Vi inspires even me... I can't say I emulate your style as that'd be a lie, your style is unique to you, its yours (its sorta sometimes and I'd hate to catagorise it, but occasionally like an Eminem-Shinoda mash-up as far as rap goes, Em for the synical observations, Mikey for the heart of the matter) and it's very moving, very visual. That one about people from all round the globe was just whoa-in my face, smack bang, right there, loved it! I know its late and all but had to say something. Awesome stuff right there. No lie. If I didn't like it I simply would say nothing, right?

 

The little one there about the girl, sweet. Kinda reminds me of two things, dare I say it; ER and Greys Anatomy. What that tells me is that I need to stop watching so much TV between work shifts and also I need to stop thinking and start feeling... I reread it a few times to get an essence of 'a person' behind that. Trying to put the poem into a context. It was sweet (I know, I've already said that) but I say that again because if nothing else it still gives me (the reader in this instance) an insight into the protagonist's (Man's) perspective. So that's clever. That's in essence what writing is all about - escaping reality and/or forging your own.

Kudos to that, my son

Ooops. I mean 'Vi' haha

 

Well done

I liked this bro. Its really good

thank you

 

Could not have put that better myself *stand on a chair and cheers and applauds wildly*

 

The way you write Vi inspires even me... I can't say I emulate your style as that'd be a lie, your style is unique to you, its yours (its sorta sometimes and I'd hate to catagorise it, but occasionally like an Eminem-Shinoda mash-up as far as rap goes, Em for the synical observations, Mikey for the heart of the matter) and it's very moving, very visual. That one about people from all round the globe was just whoa-in my face, smack bang, right there, loved it! I know its late and all but had to say something. Awesome stuff right there. No lie. If I didn't like it I simply would say nothing, right?

 

The little one there about the girl, sweet. Kinda reminds me of two things, dare I say it; ER and Greys Anatomy. What that tells me is that I need to stop watching so much TV between work shifts and also I need to stop thinking and start feeling... I reread it a few times to get an essence of 'a person' behind that. Trying to put the poem into a context. It was sweet (I know, I've already said that) but I say that again because if nothing else it still gives me (the reader in this instance) an insight into the protagonist's (Man's) perspective. So that's clever. That's in essence what writing is all about - escaping reality and/or forging your own.

Kudos to that, my son

Ooops. I mean 'Vi' haha

 

Well done

thanks...and yeah, wow, that's far too much credit you give me there...but it certainly is nice to hear

 

hehe, yeah when you think about it ER and GA do come to mind, although I've never seen the latter one. But I didn't take inspiration from those. lol...tv's good, if you ask me. there are certain things about america and its television that I dislike to say the least, but some things are excellent, like for inspiration.

glad to give you insight:thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

 

 

now hmm I wish I had more work now, but I don't. talking about inspiration etc, I can only focus mine into one "subject" at a time, and atm that's songwriting...

okay this's been dead lol

best revive it

 

 

I said I needed to be alone

when in reality I need company, and a place to call home

 

thought I could alter myself to please you

but did it happen? never seemed to

so I ask you to read through

read between the lines

the depths and widths of my mind

 

tell me that you find the same as I do

and that is that no matter how hard I try to

I can't change who I am

I am how I am

an insignifican man

man without a plan

goddamn I feel so bland

 

 

the guilletine drops, but the basket's empty

another empty threat

meaningless insult in a sea of curses

where I have now drowned

the guilletine drops, but the basket's empty

another empty threat

meaningless insult in a sea of curses

where I have now drowned

Now THIS here is awesome. Especially first line. That was way poignant to me. Struck a chord within. I dunno what more to say on that but for some reason this was powerful to me. I related to the first two lines, think all of us do on some universal level (especially us introverts ) but yeah, wow, that guiletine line... just wow.

:clap: Way to go Vi.

 

~Rav

Uh, some crazy stuff you got there...

 

That first you posted is really good...love it...

Others are okay...didn't really fall into them...

 

But that last one...darn, love it...love that kinda stuff...awesome!

 

ps: I never knew for this thread, lol...not entering the writers corner often...

that new one is great...some nice emotions there

thanks everyone ^^ well appreciated

 

really surprised you like some of that so much...cause the stuff I posted last night was improvised on the spot in the reply...lol

 

 

okay new stuff

 

this is one piece, mind you

lol

 

 

 

 

he asked and we helped him

together we shut out the sun

we built a shelter

think it's best to rest in a place like this

no worries, only sunshine when you want it

so we came here together

and together we leave

unlike with life; you're born alone, you die alone.

 

but who said we shouldn't squeeze some fun out of this while we can

but no plans

no arrangements

no rules

no curfews

no restrictments, except those of the mind

 

 

in the distance a panflute can be heard

it's the shepheard running his flock of sheep

to new lands, like the ships of ancient times

 

and as the covers cover you,

you see how beautiful the nighttime sky can be

too bad you've been blinded by the sun

here's a new piece, should anyone read this anymore:

it's untitled

 

 

 

 

dig dig

dig up the bones

gotta get more money

gotta get there before it's too late

before the slashes appear

guess it's fate

 

too much money

too many problems

too big a mess

the everpresent stress

 

a faint piano in the background as we lie dying on the dirty bloody floor

we've been betrayed

they perform their customs habitually

cover it up

we've been betrayed

the left hand of god is left lame

rendered useless

we've been betrayed

 

I scream but I make no sound

for I am now dead

we have them to thank for

and ourselves

our own little dumb games

hmm alright since I haven't written a syllable in english lately I decided to translate my latest poem

it loses it dynamic somewhat in the translation unfortunately but yeah that happens

here it goes

 

 

 

March night

 

outside it snows as never before

my soul is restless

I'm beginning to sense

these two feelings

in tones I feel rich

richer than many

and the beautiful creature

visits me in my dreams

sometimes these nights

watch over me

as the snow gently

hits the ground

such is written in books

how sweet your scent is

but the chance is little

I am only one in this herd

the snow comes down and down

sweet peaceful winter

salutes my poem

I gaze upon this glory

but I hope that this storm

disappears in one blow

and spring be my friend

often I suffer from disadvantage

ooooohhhhhhh i like the first one i missed your poems kris:DD

but like always their beautiful:DDD

Pretty nice stuff you got there...of those last three I think I like the newest one the most...

I like "A Bridge" the most, except for the last line, which kind of ruins it.

i liked that! ^.^

thanks everyone ^_^

 

I like "A Bridge" the most, except for the last line, which kind of ruins it.

well too bad you don't like it, cause the last line was the whole point of the poem...

okay new one actually

 

it's called...well it's untitled for the time being

 

a face in the snow

you can hardly see it

as it is white just like the snow

lifeless

white with a touch of blue

but it's not beautiful

nature's ways aren't always beautiful

from a distance an avalanche is something special

something you'd like to see before you die

but if you're caught in the middle of it,

you do get to see it,

but it is the last thing you see before you die

destiny's just another sarcastic person

cynical

tired of their job

to the point of hostility

"please god let me get through this awful day"

that is killer dude i like it a lot man

thanks man, appreciate it