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Welcome to the 278th edition of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. This
week, Rush Limbaugh (1) proves that ESPN was right to fire him, Bill
O'Reilly's (2) dreams come true, and Michael Flory (3) is in big
trouble. Meanwhile, if Ted Haggard (4) is completely heterosexual,
then Pat Robertson (6) is completely non-racist, and Katherine Harris
(10) is completely sane. Enjoy... and don't forget the key!
Rush Limbaugh
If you watched Super Bowl XLI last week you may have been under the
impression that Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, er, let his
team down a little. You're not alone - here's award-winning sports
writer David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune:
Sure, the Bears had issues against the Colts with their run defense,
problems with the offensive line and breakdowns in the secondary. But
all of those contributing factors to the loss might have been moot if
not for one Grossman pass with 11 minutes 59 seconds left in the game.
Grossman's decision to attempt such a throw given the situation could
be described best as reckless. Ill-advised. Even ignorant, to use the
word Grossman himself introduced into Super Bowl week.
The sideline pass Grossman floated to Muhsin Muhammad in the fourth
quarter changed the Super Bowl more than any other play. Muhammad
wasn't that open, and the Bears didn't really need to take such a risk
at the time. It turned out they couldn't afford one either.
It's one thing for Grossman to be a gunslinger, but not if he is going
to shoot himself and his team in the foot.
(snip)
Despite the off-night and the negative reaction Sunday will produce,
Grossman also can take solace in proving himself a good NFL
quarterback in 2006. This might have been the season Grossman
solidified the position for a Bears franchise that traditionally
hasn't experienced much.
But those who believe the Bears would not have been here without
Grossman this season also have to acknowledge his mistakes prevented
them from winning Sunday more than any other player's.
That's the hard reality that will stare Grossman in the face Monday
morning, and maybe every day until he and the Bears return.
If you don't like football, you're probably wondering at this point
why I'm devoting such a large section of this week's Top 10 to the
sport. The answer is simple: Rush Limbaugh. According to Media
Matters:
On the February 5 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show,
Rush Limbaugh, responding to media coverage of Chicago Bears
quarterback Rex Grossman, stated "they're dumping on this guy - Rex
Grossman - for one reason, folks, and that's because he is a white
quarterback." Limbaugh later insisted in conversation with a caller
that, "they just want this guy not to do well 'cause he's a white
quarterback," and that Grossman was "targeted for destruction."
Limbaugh is right, of course. Grossman was only castigated for his
error-prone play because he is white. The much-praised Indianapolis
Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, on the other hand, was unjustly
lauded for his performance merely because he is black. It's a crying
shame.
Bill O'Reilly
A few weeks ago Bill O'Reilly spoke out loudly on the Shawn Hornbeck/
Ben Ownby kidnappings (see Idiots 275). Here are a few choice
excerpts:
"...the question is, why didn't he escape when he could have? There
are all kinds of theories about that. Joining us now from Washington,
Greta Van Susteren, who has been out to Missouri reporting on the
case. All right, you know, the Stockholm syndrome thing, I don't buy
it. I've never bought it. I didn't think it happened in the Patty
Hearst case. I don't think it happened here."
"I'm not buying this. If you're 11 years old or 12 years old, 13, and
you have a strong bond with your family, OK, even if the guy threatens
you, this and that, you're riding your bike around, you got friends.
The kid didn't go to school. There's all kinds of stuff. If you can
get away, you get away. All right? If you're 11."
"The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than
what he had under his old parents. He didn't have to go to school. He
could run around and do whatever he wanted."
"I think when it all comes down, what's going to happen is, there was
an element here that this kid liked about his circumstances."
"I actually hope I'm wrong about Shawn Hornbeck. I hope he did not
make a conscious decision to accept his captivity because Devlin made
things easy for him. No school, play all day long."
Good news, Bill! There's no need to keep hoping against hope because
you were wrong about Shawn Hornbeck after all. According to the
Associated Press, the man accused of kidnapping Shawn and Ben was also
charged last week with "69 counts of forcible sodomy." Sure looks like
Shawn was having "a lot more fun than what he had under his old
parents."
Perhaps they didn't escape because they were so enjoying being
repeatedly and involuntarily buggered, eh Bill? "No school, play all
day long," and all they had to do to keep up the fun was get raped
every now and again. How does that theory sound to you?
I'm still waiting for Rush Limbaugh to complain that people are
picking on the kidnapper because he's white.
Michael A. Flory
Speaking of rape...
A Cuyahoga County grand jury charged a Michigan attorney and political
activist Wednesday with raping a fellow delegate at last July's
National Federation of Young Republicans convention in Cleveland.
Michael A. Flory, 32, of Jackson, Mich., faces charges of rape,
kidnapping, aggravated burglary, gross sexual imposition and witness
intimidation.
Police and prosecutors say he escorted a drunken 21-year-old colleague
to her hotel room after an evening of partying in the Warehouse
District. She told police he attacked her when she was feeling sick
and on the verge of passing out.
(snip)
Flory gained attention at age 18 when he gave a televised speech to
the Republican National Convention in the Houston Astrodome. He served
as vice chairman of the National Federation of Young Republicans and
ran unsuccessfully for the top spot in 2003.
I mean, really.
Ted Haggard
Stop the presses! After an intensive course of therapy Ted Haggard,
the disgraced former president of the National Association of
Evangelicals, has learned, much to everyone's astonishment, that he is
"completely heterosexual" after all. It's true! Just listen to Rev.
Tim Ralph, one of Haggard's four "overseers" during his three-week
counseling session.
He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was
the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a
constant thing.
This news has come as a bit of a surprise to Ted's former lover Mike
Jones:
Well, that's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. It's hard for me
to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he is
"straight." That just doesn't jive. If you were to ask me "Do I think
is Ted haggard gay?" I would have to say "yes."
So despite the fact that up until fairly recently Ted liked to sneak
off and enjoy secret man-on-man action with a male prostitute, a three-
week course of therapy has made him realize that he isn't gay in any
way whatsoever. No, he's straight as an arrow. Completely
heterosexual, you might say.
In other news, Peyton Manning has confirmed to the press that he is
"totally, 100% black."
George H. W. Bush
Last week Poppy Bush went to Los Angeles to receive the 2007 Ronald
Reagan Freedom Award (whatever that is), and while in town, had lunch
with "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher. Apparently George Sr.
thought that Teri really was desperate, because he ended their lunch
date by giving her a couple of slaps on the ass.
It's true. And if you don't believe me, then you won't want to miss
the video.
Pat Robertson
Oh Pat, is there anyone you won't offend? According to Media Matters:
On the February 7 edition of the Christian Broadcasting Network's The
700 Club, host Pat Robertson said that people who have received too
much plastic surgery "got the eyes like they're Oriental" while he put
his fingers up to the side of his face.
I thought I should get some expert advice on this, so I decided to
instant message my wife (she's Asian) at work to get her opinion.
Following is an actual transcript of our conversation (the usernames
have been changed to protect the innocent).
EarlG (05:03 PM) :
hi
MrsEarlG (05:03 PM) :
hi
EarlG (05:03 PM) :
so i'm writing the top 10 and i wanted to get a quote from you about
Pat Robertson
MrsEarlG (05:04 PM) :
ok
EarlG (05:04 PM) :
http://mediamatters.org/items/200702070009
MrsEarlG (05:07 PM) :
wow
MrsEarlG (05:07 PM) :
what an asshole
Thanks honey!
Tom Tancredo
Perhaps the new motto of the GOP should be, "when in doubt, make
something up." It worked most famously for the Bush administration,
allowing them to drag us into an invasion and occupation of Iraq. So
when Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO) got into a spot of bother recently, he
happily jumped aboard the "make something up" bandwagon.
Last November, Tancredo said that illegal immigration has caused Miami
to become a "third world country." Even Republicans didn't like that,
with Miami Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen inviting Tancredo to "visit
beautiful Miami, my hometown, and experience firsthand our
hospitality ... Come on down, Tom, the water's fine!"
But why would Tom Tancredo want to visit a place that he'd already
compared to a "third world country?" Much better to make something up
instead. According to Think Progress, he appeared on CNN on January 16
and said:
The Miami Herald took a poll on my statements. Seventy percent of the
people that responded supported me. Most of the radio and television
stations down there that have done similar polling also supported me.
Just one problem. "Noticiero Univision" anchor Maria Elena Salinas
looked into Tancredo's poll claims, and reported last week that:
My office consulted the Herald about the alleged Tancredo poll, and
they told us there was no such poll.
What a surprise!
The Bush Administration
Maybe "when in doubt, make something up" isn't such a good strategy
after all. Sure, it might get you the results you want for a little
while, but eventually people are going to find out that, well, you're
just a lying *******.
According to the Los Angeles Times:
As the Bush administration began assembling its case for war, analysts
across the U.S. intelligence community were disturbed by the report of
a secretive Pentagon team that concluded Iraq had significant ties to
Al Qaeda.
Analysts from the CIA and other agencies "disagreed with more than
50%" of 26 findings the Pentagon team laid out in a controversial
paper, according to testimony Friday from Thomas F. Gimble, acting
inspector general of the Pentagon.
But... but... I thought that the dodgy intelligence which got is into
Iraq was all the fault of the CIA! And now you're telling me that they
- and "other agencies" - shot down more than half of the
administration's claims about Iraq and Al Qaeda prior to the invasion?
So how come Bush & Co. ended up using this bogus information?
Although the Pentagon Inspector General's report released Friday did
not address the accuracy of such assessments, it documented the
unusual efforts by Defense Department policymakers to bypass regular
intelligence channels and influence officials at the highest level of
government.
Feith's work was of critical importance to Vice President Dick Cheney,
who once referred to the Pentagon team's conclusions as the "best
source" for understanding the relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda.
(snip)
P.J. Crowley, a retired Air Force colonel and a senior fellow at the
Center of American Progress, said that the intelligence peddled by
Feith tainted the public dialogue.
"They weren't creating intelligence, but they were assembling the
pieces to create a rationale for war," Crowley said. "Their production
was discredited, but they had the desired effect. The little pieces
ended up infecting the process."
If one attempted to sum up George W. Bush's legacy in three words, I
think "infecting the process" would be a pretty good effort.
Karl Rove
Back to the topic of immigration for a moment... ABC News reported
last week that:
White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove explained the Bush
Administration's guest worker program and immigration policy at a
luncheon Thursday by saying, "I don't want my 17-year-old son to have
to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas."
But wait! There's an explanation. (There's always an explanation,
isn't there?)
White House Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino told ABC News that the
White House does not deny that Rove made the remark but claims it has
been taken out of context.
Of course - it was taken out of context. Let's have a look at the text
of the actual speech and see what Karl really said:
I don't want my 17-year-old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds
in Las Vegas. Nor do I want him to join the military and go to Iraq.
In fact, I don't want him to have to do anything other than ride my
coat-tails onto the good-old-boy network, stepping on the backs of the
less-well-off in order to achieve my own perverse re-imagineering of
the American Dream. I want him to crush the poor, spit on the sick,
and sup 63rd Street Martinis out of the skulls of polar bears. I want
him to become vice chairman of the National Federation of Young
Republicans and I don't care who he has to rape to get there.
Eventually he will run for the presidency, which he will win after I
convince the American people that his opponent is a serial child-
molester. His first priority as president will be to spend the entire
national budget on the military-industrial complex in order to fund
breakthroughs in space travel and weapons technology, which we will
use to subjugate nearby solar systems. Following that, we will rule
the galaxy as father and son.
See? Totally out of context.
Katherine Harris
And finally, a couple of weeks ago I briefly noted that Katherine
"Crazy As A Squirrel Stuck Up A Drain Pipe" Harris had been spotted
handing out business cards at the 2007 State of the Union address. Now
it seems that Harris's desire to remain in Congress - despite losing
her quixotic Senate race - extends to parking her car in the Cannon
House Office Building.
According to Raw Story, Roll Call's Ben Pershing says "he can confirm
that the ex-lawmaker has indeed been parking it regularly (there)
since she lost her day job. The car was there Friday evening, in the
same spot where she always parked when she actually worked in that
building."
Harris' car reportedly "still had a medallion hanging in it from the
109th Congress." A House aide was quoted as saying that "officials
were still in the process of distributing parking permits for the
110th Congress," which apparently allows Harris and others with
permits from the 109th Congress to continue parking in the garage.
Now, I've been scratching my head trying to figure out why she's doing
this, and I think I've come up with the answer: Katherine Harris
thinks that election results are decided in her mind.
See, when she was Florida's Secretary of State she decided that George
W. Bush was going to win the 2000 presidential election, and voila, as
if by magic, he did! So she thinks that the same thing has happened to
her, and that she's actually the junior senator for Florida.
I know, I know - this doesn't explain why she's parking her car in the
Cannon building instead of the Hart building. But have you considered
the possibility that she's completely nuts?
See you next week!
-- EarlG
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Top
The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 278 top10 Feb-11-07 07:29
PM #0
Great work as always! Momgonepostal Feb-11-07 07:42 PM #1
Thanks, EarlG! Suich Feb-11-07 07:43 PM #2
In the future: more commentary from Mrs. EarlG! Hissyspit
Feb-11-07 07:58 PM #3
I didn't hear about it until now, either. Eric J in MN Feb-11-07
11:42 PM #14
Katherine "Crazy As A Squirrel Stuck Up A Drain Pipe" Harris
Dudley_DUright Feb-11-07 07:58 PM #4
Nicely done! ejbr Feb-11-07 08:03 PM #5
Kudos on a great Top 10 ayeshahaqqiqa Feb-11-07 08:10 PM #6
LMAO at #9!! Dr_eldritch Feb-11-07 08:13 PM #7
Sorry but you're wrong about Peyton rpannier Feb-11-07 08:24
PM #8
This has to be my favorite Top 10 List of all time
SalmonChantedEvening Feb-11-07 09:18 PM #9
You have a lot of fun doing these, don't you??! gratefultobelib
Feb-11-07 10:38 PM #10
Hey THERE you are!!! aundria75 Feb-11-07 11:03 PM #11
K & R badgerpup Feb-11-07 11:09 PM #12
Special Thanks to Mrs. EarlG ladym55 Feb-11-07 11:14 PM #13
Here's what a Racist/Young Republican looks like..... LynneSin
Feb-11-07 11:44 PM #15
he looks like a pink pig diane in sf Feb-12-07 02:00 AM #22
Top 10 pattmarty Feb-12-07 12:10 AM #16
welcome to DU pattmarty! AZDemDist6 Feb-12-07 07:36 AM #27
the criminally insane The Wizard Feb-12-07 12:16 AM #17
Ronald Reagan Freedom Award? What the ****? EOO Feb-12-07 12:21
AM #18
Rush Limbaugh is a closet LIBERAL ... a LIBERAL, I say!
eppur_se_muova Feb-12-07 12:38 AM #19
Easily the biggest laugh I have had in weeks. Stephist Feb-12-07
01:00 AM #20
What a sideshow of Freaks! colorado_ufo Feb-12-07 01:12 AM
#21
"Wow what an asshole" Chovexani Feb-12-07 03:20 AM #23
Karl Rove actually said these things? ForeignSpectator Feb-12-07
06:15 AM #24
I doubt it Apollo11 Feb-12-07 06:36 AM #25
thought so... ForeignSpectator Feb-12-07 06:46 AM #26
I think connecticut yankee Feb-12-07 09:43 AM #30
I'm still waiting for O'Lielly to accuse Shawn Hornbeck/Ben Ownby
cboy4 Feb-12-07 09:07 AM #28
Bill O'Reilly could occupy the Idiot list Hawaii Hiker Feb-12-07
09:39 AM #29
He has more to worry about than making Keith's list . . .
cboy4 Feb-12-07 09:46 AM #31
Me Chinese. Me play joke... trogdor Feb-12-07 11:50 AM #32
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DONATIONS
Welcome to the 278th edition of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. This
week, Rush Limbaugh (1) proves that ESPN was right to fire him, Bill
O'Reilly's (2) dreams come true, and Michael Flory (3) is in big
trouble. Meanwhile, if Ted Haggard (4) is completely heterosexual,
then Pat Robertson (6) is completely non-racist, and Katherine Harris
(10) is completely sane. Enjoy... and don't forget the key!
Rush Limbaugh
If you watched Super Bowl XLI last week you may have been under the
impression that Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, er, let his
team down a little. You're not alone - here's award-winning sports
writer David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune:
Sure, the Bears had issues against the Colts with their run defense,
problems with the offensive line and breakdowns in the secondary. But
all of those contributing factors to the loss might have been moot if
not for one Grossman pass with 11 minutes 59 seconds left in the game.
Grossman's decision to attempt such a throw given the situation could
be described best as reckless. Ill-advised. Even ignorant, to use the
word Grossman himself introduced into Super Bowl week.
The sideline pass Grossman floated to Muhsin Muhammad in the fourth
quarter changed the Super Bowl more than any other play. Muhammad
wasn't that open, and the Bears didn't really need to take such a risk
at the time. It turned out they couldn't afford one either.
It's one thing for Grossman to be a gunslinger, but not if he is going
to shoot himself and his team in the foot.
(snip)
Despite the off-night and the negative reaction Sunday will produce,
Grossman also can take solace in proving himself a good NFL
quarterback in 2006. This might have been the season Grossman
solidified the position for a Bears franchise that traditionally
hasn't experienced much.
But those who believe the Bears would not have been here without
Grossman this season also have to acknowledge his mistakes prevented
them from winning Sunday more than any other player's.
That's the hard reality that will stare Grossman in the face Monday
morning, and maybe every day until he and the Bears return.
If you don't like football, you're probably wondering at this point
why I'm devoting such a large section of this week's Top 10 to the
sport. The answer is simple: Rush Limbaugh. According to Media
Matters:
On the February 5 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show,
Rush Limbaugh, responding to media coverage of Chicago Bears
quarterback Rex Grossman, stated "they're dumping on this guy - Rex
Grossman - for one reason, folks, and that's because he is a white
quarterback." Limbaugh later insisted in conversation with a caller
that, "they just want this guy not to do well 'cause he's a white
quarterback," and that Grossman was "targeted for destruction."
Limbaugh is right, of course. Grossman was only castigated for his
error-prone play because he is white. The much-praised Indianapolis
Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, on the other hand, was unjustly
lauded for his performance merely because he is black. It's a crying
shame.
Bill O'Reilly
A few weeks ago Bill O'Reilly spoke out loudly on the Shawn Hornbeck/
Ben Ownby kidnappings (see Idiots 275). Here are a few choice
excerpts:
"...the question is, why didn't he escape when he could have? There
are all kinds of theories about that. Joining us now from Washington,
Greta Van Susteren, who has been out to Missouri reporting on the
case. All right, you know, the Stockholm syndrome thing, I don't buy
it. I've never bought it. I didn't think it happened in the Patty
Hearst case. I don't think it happened here."
"I'm not buying this. If you're 11 years old or 12 years old, 13, and
you have a strong bond with your family, OK, even if the guy threatens
you, this and that, you're riding your bike around, you got friends.
The kid didn't go to school. There's all kinds of stuff. If you can
get away, you get away. All right? If you're 11."
"The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than
what he had under his old parents. He didn't have to go to school. He
could run around and do whatever he wanted."
"I think when it all comes down, what's going to happen is, there was
an element here that this kid liked about his circumstances."
"I actually hope I'm wrong about Shawn Hornbeck. I hope he did not
make a conscious decision to accept his captivity because Devlin made
things easy for him. No school, play all day long."
Good news, Bill! There's no need to keep hoping against hope because
you were wrong about Shawn Hornbeck after all. According to the
Associated Press, the man accused of kidnapping Shawn and Ben was also
charged last week with "69 counts of forcible sodomy." Sure looks like
Shawn was having "a lot more fun than what he had under his old
parents."
Perhaps they didn't escape because they were so enjoying being
repeatedly and involuntarily buggered, eh Bill? "No school, play all
day long," and all they had to do to keep up the fun was get raped
every now and again. How does that theory sound to you?
I'm still waiting for Rush Limbaugh to complain that people are
picking on the kidnapper because he's white.
Michael A. Flory
Speaking of rape...
A Cuyahoga County grand jury charged a Michigan attorney and political
activist Wednesday with raping a fellow delegate at last July's
National Federation of Young Republicans convention in Cleveland.
Michael A. Flory, 32, of Jackson, Mich., faces charges of rape,
kidnapping, aggravated burglary, gross sexual imposition and witness
intimidation.
Police and prosecutors say he escorted a drunken 21-year-old colleague
to her hotel room after an evening of partying in the Warehouse
District. She told police he attacked her when she was feeling sick
and on the verge of passing out.
(snip)
Flory gained attention at age 18 when he gave a televised speech to
the Republican National Convention in the Houston Astrodome. He served
as vice chairman of the National Federation of Young Republicans and
ran unsuccessfully for the top spot in 2003.
I mean, really.
Ted Haggard
Stop the presses! After an intensive course of therapy Ted Haggard,
the disgraced former president of the National Association of
Evangelicals, has learned, much to everyone's astonishment, that he is
"completely heterosexual" after all. It's true! Just listen to Rev.
Tim Ralph, one of Haggard's four "overseers" during his three-week
counseling session.
He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was
the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a
constant thing.
This news has come as a bit of a surprise to Ted's former lover Mike
Jones:
Well, that's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. It's hard for me
to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he is
"straight." That just doesn't jive. If you were to ask me "Do I think
is Ted haggard gay?" I would have to say "yes."
So despite the fact that up until fairly recently Ted liked to sneak
off and enjoy secret man-on-man action with a male prostitute, a three-
week course of therapy has made him realize that he isn't gay in any
way whatsoever. No, he's straight as an arrow. Completely
heterosexual, you might say.
In other news, Peyton Manning has confirmed to the press that he is
"totally, 100% black."
George H. W. Bush
Last week Poppy Bush went to Los Angeles to receive the 2007 Ronald
Reagan Freedom Award (whatever that is), and while in town, had lunch
with "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher. Apparently George Sr.
thought that Teri really was desperate, because he ended their lunch
date by giving her a couple of slaps on the ass.
It's true. And if you don't believe me, then you won't want to miss
the video.
Pat Robertson
Oh Pat, is there anyone you won't offend? According to Media Matters:
On the February 7 edition of the Christian Broadcasting Network's The
700 Club, host Pat Robertson said that people who have received too
much plastic surgery "got the eyes like they're Oriental" while he put
his fingers up to the side of his face.
I thought I should get some expert advice on this, so I decided to
instant message my wife (she's Asian) at work to get her opinion.
Following is an actual transcript of our conversation (the usernames
have been changed to protect the innocent).
EarlG (05:03 PM) :
hi
MrsEarlG (05:03 PM) :
hi
EarlG (05:03 PM) :
so i'm writing the top 10 and i wanted to get a quote from you about
Pat Robertson
MrsEarlG (05:04 PM) :
ok
EarlG (05:04 PM) :
http://mediamatters.org/items/200702070009
MrsEarlG (05:07 PM) :
wow
MrsEarlG (05:07 PM) :
what an asshole
Thanks honey!
Tom Tancredo
Perhaps the new motto of the GOP should be, "when in doubt, make
something up." It worked most famously for the Bush administration,
allowing them to drag us into an invasion and occupation of Iraq. So
when Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO) got into a spot of bother recently, he
happily jumped aboard the "make something up" bandwagon.
Last November, Tancredo said that illegal immigration has caused Miami
to become a "third world country." Even Republicans didn't like that,
with Miami Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen inviting Tancredo to "visit
beautiful Miami, my hometown, and experience firsthand our
hospitality ... Come on down, Tom, the water's fine!"
But why would Tom Tancredo want to visit a place that he'd already
compared to a "third world country?" Much better to make something up
instead. According to Think Progress, he appeared on CNN on January 16
and said:
The Miami Herald took a poll on my statements. Seventy percent of the
people that responded supported me. Most of the radio and television
stations down there that have done similar polling also supported me.
Just one problem. "Noticiero Univision" anchor Maria Elena Salinas
looked into Tancredo's poll claims, and reported last week that:
My office consulted the Herald about the alleged Tancredo poll, and
they told us there was no such poll.
What a surprise!
The Bush Administration
Maybe "when in doubt, make something up" isn't such a good strategy
after all. Sure, it might get you the results you want for a little
while, but eventually people are going to find out that, well, you're
just a lying *******.
According to the Los Angeles Times:
As the Bush administration began assembling its case for war, analysts
across the U.S. intelligence community were disturbed by the report of
a secretive Pentagon team that concluded Iraq had significant ties to
Al Qaeda.
Analysts from the CIA and other agencies "disagreed with more than
50%" of 26 findings the Pentagon team laid out in a controversial
paper, according to testimony Friday from Thomas F. Gimble, acting
inspector general of the Pentagon.
But... but... I thought that the dodgy intelligence which got is into
Iraq was all the fault of the CIA! And now you're telling me that they
- and "other agencies" - shot down more than half of the
administration's claims about Iraq and Al Qaeda prior to the invasion?
So how come Bush & Co. ended up using this bogus information?
Although the Pentagon Inspector General's report released Friday did
not address the accuracy of such assessments, it documented the
unusual efforts by Defense Department policymakers to bypass regular
intelligence channels and influence officials at the highest level of
government.
Feith's work was of critical importance to Vice President Dick Cheney,
who once referred to the Pentagon team's conclusions as the "best
source" for understanding the relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda.
(snip)
P.J. Crowley, a retired Air Force colonel and a senior fellow at the
Center of American Progress, said that the intelligence peddled by
Feith tainted the public dialogue.
"They weren't creating intelligence, but they were assembling the
pieces to create a rationale for war," Crowley said. "Their production
was discredited, but they had the desired effect. The little pieces
ended up infecting the process."
If one attempted to sum up George W. Bush's legacy in three words, I
think "infecting the process" would be a pretty good effort.
Karl Rove
Back to the topic of immigration for a moment... ABC News reported
last week that:
White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove explained the Bush
Administration's guest worker program and immigration policy at a
luncheon Thursday by saying, "I don't want my 17-year-old son to have
to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas."
But wait! There's an explanation. (There's always an explanation,
isn't there?)
White House Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino told ABC News that the
White House does not deny that Rove made the remark but claims it has
been taken out of context.
Of course - it was taken out of context. Let's have a look at the text
of the actual speech and see what Karl really said:
I don't want my 17-year-old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds
in Las Vegas. Nor do I want him to join the military and go to Iraq.
In fact, I don't want him to have to do anything other than ride my
coat-tails onto the good-old-boy network, stepping on the backs of the
less-well-off in order to achieve my own perverse re-imagineering of
the American Dream. I want him to crush the poor, spit on the sick,
and sup 63rd Street Martinis out of the skulls of polar bears. I want
him to become vice chairman of the National Federation of Young
Republicans and I don't care who he has to rape to get there.
Eventually he will run for the presidency, which he will win after I
convince the American people that his opponent is a serial child-
molester. His first priority as president will be to spend the entire
national budget on the military-industrial complex in order to fund
breakthroughs in space travel and weapons technology, which we will
use to subjugate nearby solar systems. Following that, we will rule
the galaxy as father and son.
See? Totally out of context.
Katherine Harris
And finally, a couple of weeks ago I briefly noted that Katherine
"Crazy As A Squirrel Stuck Up A Drain Pipe" Harris had been spotted
handing out business cards at the 2007 State of the Union address. Now
it seems that Harris's desire to remain in Congress - despite losing
her quixotic Senate race - extends to parking her car in the Cannon
House Office Building.
According to Raw Story, Roll Call's Ben Pershing says "he can confirm
that the ex-lawmaker has indeed been parking it regularly (there)
since she lost her day job. The car was there Friday evening, in the
same spot where she always parked when she actually worked in that
building."
Harris' car reportedly "still had a medallion hanging in it from the
109th Congress." A House aide was quoted as saying that "officials
were still in the process of distributing parking permits for the
110th Congress," which apparently allows Harris and others with
permits from the 109th Congress to continue parking in the garage.
Now, I've been scratching my head trying to figure out why she's doing
this, and I think I've come up with the answer: Katherine Harris
thinks that election results are decided in her mind.
See, when she was Florida's Secretary of State she decided that George
W. Bush was going to win the 2000 presidential election, and voila, as
if by magic, he did! So she thinks that the same thing has happened to
her, and that she's actually the junior senator for Florida.
I know, I know - this doesn't explain why she's parking her car in the
Cannon building instead of the Hart building. But have you considered
the possibility that she's completely nuts?
See you next week!
-- EarlG
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Top
The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 278 top10 Feb-11-07 07:29
PM #0
Great work as always! Momgonepostal Feb-11-07 07:42 PM #1
Thanks, EarlG! Suich Feb-11-07 07:43 PM #2
In the future: more commentary from Mrs. EarlG! Hissyspit
Feb-11-07 07:58 PM #3
I didn't hear about it until now, either. Eric J in MN Feb-11-07
11:42 PM #14
Katherine "Crazy As A Squirrel Stuck Up A Drain Pipe" Harris
Dudley_DUright Feb-11-07 07:58 PM #4
Nicely done! ejbr Feb-11-07 08:03 PM #5
Kudos on a great Top 10 ayeshahaqqiqa Feb-11-07 08:10 PM #6
LMAO at #9!! Dr_eldritch Feb-11-07 08:13 PM #7
Sorry but you're wrong about Peyton rpannier Feb-11-07 08:24
PM #8
This has to be my favorite Top 10 List of all time
SalmonChantedEvening Feb-11-07 09:18 PM #9
You have a lot of fun doing these, don't you??! gratefultobelib
Feb-11-07 10:38 PM #10
Hey THERE you are!!! aundria75 Feb-11-07 11:03 PM #11
K & R badgerpup Feb-11-07 11:09 PM #12
Special Thanks to Mrs. EarlG ladym55 Feb-11-07 11:14 PM #13
Here's what a Racist/Young Republican looks like..... LynneSin
Feb-11-07 11:44 PM #15
he looks like a pink pig diane in sf Feb-12-07 02:00 AM #22
Top 10 pattmarty Feb-12-07 12:10 AM #16
welcome to DU pattmarty! AZDemDist6 Feb-12-07 07:36 AM #27
the criminally insane The Wizard Feb-12-07 12:16 AM #17
Ronald Reagan Freedom Award? What the ****? EOO Feb-12-07 12:21
AM #18
Rush Limbaugh is a closet LIBERAL ... a LIBERAL, I say!
eppur_se_muova Feb-12-07 12:38 AM #19
Easily the biggest laugh I have had in weeks. Stephist Feb-12-07
01:00 AM #20
What a sideshow of Freaks! colorado_ufo Feb-12-07 01:12 AM
#21
"Wow what an asshole" Chovexani Feb-12-07 03:20 AM #23
Karl Rove actually said these things? ForeignSpectator Feb-12-07
06:15 AM #24
I doubt it Apollo11 Feb-12-07 06:36 AM #25
thought so... ForeignSpectator Feb-12-07 06:46 AM #26
I think connecticut yankee Feb-12-07 09:43 AM #30
I'm still waiting for O'Lielly to accuse Shawn Hornbeck/Ben Ownby
cboy4 Feb-12-07 09:07 AM #28
Bill O'Reilly could occupy the Idiot list Hawaii Hiker Feb-12-07
09:39 AM #29
He has more to worry about than making Keith's list . . .
cboy4 Feb-12-07 09:46 AM #31
Me Chinese. Me play joke... trogdor Feb-12-07 11:50 AM #32
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