humorous stories

[tungsten]

I'm a funny-story collector. So yeah..... if ya guys have any, please post if you're interested.
Here's one which is said to be the most voted in .....i forgot in what year, heh heh

Two hunters are out in the woods then one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, 'My friends is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "ok, now what?'

pretty mean, huh? heh heh

 

[gmg_LP]

hehehehe:shoot:....I've heard this joke in spanish:rofl:

 

[tungsten]

Heh heh, if ya were the guy who collapsed, I would do the same thing like his friend did.
Here's another one:

Dangers of piracy​

A seaman meets a pirate in a port, and the conversation soon turns to their advantures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off"
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook?"
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and I was battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch?"
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate .
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well...", said the pirate"...it was my first day with the hook."

Sounds painful...

 

[gmg_LP]

heh that dude was how awkward =D