I am beat.....

[timesjoke]

To make a long story short, a Nephew of mine and his wife was arrested last night and it involved child services. They had 4 kids and there was no way I was letting them be placed in foster homes so after staying completely silent during the process, I spoke up when it was obvious they were preparing to leave with the children.


Now I have not been "in the field" with child services for a very long time and I did not expect these ladies to know me but their first comments to me were very disrespectful and instead of arguing with them I simply said "don't rush to judgements" as I placed various identifications on a table beside them to include my State certification to work in schools (requires full background checks), my Federal certification for sensitive Government clearence (FBI background check), my Florida Guardian Ad Litem identification, my badge, and I even wrote down the home and cell numbers for the their top boss who works in Tallahassee for them to call as a reference and stepped back to wait for them to respond.


Needless to say they changed their tune and I was allowed to keep the children but now I am caring for little kids who are scared and missing their parents.......one of them an infant.

Sleep?

Ya, right.......

I am hoping things will be more settled tonight and the kids as well as myself can get some sleep.




Even though my capacity in law enforcement and the Florida Guardian Ad Litem has had me directly working with child services many times, I have to admit, I just do not like how their system works. I know they perform a needed job but more often than not, the workers are a tad power drunk and so many times I have felt that the situations could have been dealt with without breaking out the sledge hammer.

I don't know, maybe that is how they maintain their distance, that is one job I would never want to do.



Anyone else ever deal with child services?

 

[snafu]

Well lucky you were there to get them TJ. It's gonna be hard but the kids will be better off for it.

 

[wez]

What'd they do, call ya to come over as it was happening?

 

[atlantic]

Wez are you trying to provoke TJ?

 

[wez]

Wez are you trying to provoke TJ?

Yup..


Just seems odd.. unless they live with TJ.. or he carries around his credentials and monitors police calls and happened to find himself at his nephews in the middle of a domestic dispute..

Just wondering how he became involved so quickly..

 

[timesjoke]

There are too many details to go into them all, this started the day before with a walk through and then yesterday child services told them they would be comming back last night for another visit.

Being as they know my background (my nephew), they asked if I would come over and just observe and make sure things were done properly. They had no idea they were going to get arrested but I had a good idea that they would be, I have been involved in this stuff a long time.

So I showed up mostly for the children and wanted to be sure they did not go into foster care.





Wez, I carry my credentials with me everywhere I go, it is called a wallet, just like I have a first responder kit in every vehicle I drive (well not the Harley, but everything else). It is all part of the responsibility that goes with the things I am involved with.





Thanks snaf,

I always believe that good wins out, that is not to say the good will be easy to find though, in fact good is much more difficult and harder to find than bad.



I just got done with the first court appearance, sadly this is just the start.


My goal is to help this process move foward and help my Nephew and his wife earn the right to get their kids back. Until that time, I will make sure these kids are loved and cared for, that is the best I can do.

 

[wez]

Wez, I carry my credentials with me everywhere I go, it is called a wallet.

You mean a murse?


Allright.. done pokin' TJ..


But.. why would they arrest them the next day if it started the day earlier and they were already there?


Must be sumthin' pretty bad if they both got arrested.. Poor kids.. nice of ya to help TJ.. hope it all works out..

 

[snafu]

I had to do something similar with my brother–in-laws twin girls a few years back. His ex wife leveled a child abuse charge on him because he grabbed one by the arm. My brother-in-law is a very laid back person so for him to even grab the child he had to be on his last straw with her. His ex has been in and out of jail so many times that she had only limited visitation. So I went in to court and said I would take the girls until things got straighten out. That bitch of a woman would rather have had the state take them then their own father or me for that matter. She tried to tell the judge I was unfit too and that I smoked pot. I told the judge I had but quit and would never do it around the kids anyway. The Judge gave custody to me. I did it as apposed to my wife because I could take the time off to be with them. I took two weeks off to watch the girls. Mike got all the charges dropped and got full custody.

 

[ToriAllen]

That's got to be rough on the babies. It is good that you were able to take them.
My mom worked for the investigative part of social services in NC for a short time before transferring into training foster parents. I think suspicion and distrust are inherent in the system after a while, even though each case should be approached individually. It is easy to get jaded, or in some cases just plain lazy. I worked for the DA this summer, in the Juvenile section, and nothing was more frustrating than trying to deal with DFACS. They love red tape and dragging their feet when they are really needed, and love to jump in when they aren’t…
My husband is a product of the system, though, and he turned out pretty well. They will benefit from knowing that someone is there for them. A constant.

 

[timesjoke]

Well, I truly believe that this situation could have been handled without breaking out the sledge hammer. More often than not they hit the parents with everything they have and go to the max on charges and taking away children when a good scare and looking in on them on an irregular basis could fix most of these problems.


In this case they had 4 children almost back to back. Caring for 4 very young children is a tough job, the last couple days have reminded me of that the hard way. I believe they both got frustrated and were lost for how to cope and were too proud to ask for help.


So now the ball is rolling and it is a very big ball, lots of momentum and energy, tough to stop.



My focus is the children, they need to stay together so that is my only goal, I will take this responsibility seriously, and that means I really can't be very involved in helping my Nephew, I have given him some pointers and sent him to a very good lawyer, most of this is now up to him and his wife.





The kids are actually doing very well. The kids have stayed with me before and we had family cookouts all the time so they are as much "at home" with me as is possible anywhere.







Thanks for the supportive comments guys, I finally got some good sleep last night, I am feeling must better after a couple rough days.