LpLuVaGuRl Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 i hate all those tears all those fears all those cries all those tries why cant u face truth and watch all those lies i disliked the way u lied of me all those backstabbing moments wont get outside of me u might not like me i definitely dont like u but do u know all the ways u made me say "i hate"? post some comments. i need to know how well it is because i need it for poetry class. thanx Quote [broken External Image]:http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/6301/chesterbennington7kq.jpg ~LpLuVaGuRl~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForgottenKid Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Its really great but in the last part try... You might not like me I know I dont like you But can you remeber all the ways You made me say "I hate you" Its just a suggestion...you dont have to use it. Quote Disposable, at risk for every right, there is a wrong Click Here Yo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPpinkfreak821 Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 yea i agree.. i mean it was like great and all but the last part... try something like You may not like me much but i cant even stand your touch and now through everything you see that you have driven me crazy all this bullshit i took for you you woudn't believe how much strength i used to hold back from yelling at you too you have no idea how much you've made me say "i hate you" you know something like that.. but its a suggestion... i like it.. but yea.. its spiffy and all but the ending just didn't seem right... lol Quote When my time comes, forget what the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind reasons to be missed Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory [[it isn't an official goodbye, but I'll be gone for long time]]] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LpLuVaGuRl Posted May 19, 2005 Author Share Posted May 19, 2005 thanx ima use that. but i had a different ending it was just because i lost my paper and i had to do a different ending. . . .i must find it! Quote [broken External Image]:http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/6301/chesterbennington7kq.jpg ~LpLuVaGuRl~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilightcrimson7 Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 its very nice...nicely done Quote http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/caa111db447cb1d28d713cebad979c8d.png ...:away and onward:... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRandomGuy Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 I agree, the last part is missing something. However it's impossible for me to change someone else's work. it's pretty good though Quote backwards-sdrawkcab luaP m'I !selur dlofneveS degnevA http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/e826bc5c9f32fe33e0fffbc53963e0cb.jpg drawrof-forward check out my myspace! Join my message board All Music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fading Beauty Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 honestly it's not my style but it's ok Quote http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/8ab6e0587d17a36f26b9c5a0606ca8b3.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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