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IF you could have anything you wanted for Christmas what would it be...


Lethalfind

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And I don't necessarily mean something you can buy at the mall.

 

There are two things I have always wanted and rarely had enough of, for long.

 

Peace and Quiet.

 

My familys turbelance and mental illness have left me feeling shell shocked. I can't stand what I used to live with daily.

 

The holidays at my house ALWAYS included a family fight. I mean my brother who is 6'7 screaming to the point he is spitting, my sister screaming so shrilly that the words were distorted. My Mother getting in the middle, only making things worse. I would sit on the edge of the group waiting for the explosion that I knew was coming. One Christmas when I was 10, my sister got my Fathers 38 from his bedside table and put it too her head and threatened to kill herself right there in front of us, my nephew was only a toddler. I began to fear for my own safety when I saw how out of control things were getting. When I was 5, I heard my Sister call my Father a Son of a Bitch. I didn't know what those words meant so I had to ask the only sane person in the family, my Grandmother. My Brother loves to stir the shit, he pushes all the buttons so he can watch things blow up. I've watched him do it over and over again. I know the change in the tone of his voice and body language that happens when thats where he's headed. All this before I was 16.

 

I just want peace and quiet. No Drama, no bullshit...nothing.

The biggest thing I want to worry about is that the mailman is late.

 

Since I have moved away from them, I have done all I can to make our home (mine and Diane) a refuge from the world. A place where we would both feel safe, where we can recharge our batteries and go back out into the world the next day. The silence on the weekends is interrupted by the music of the ice cream truck and the laughter of children playing in the cul-de-sac. Its almost like a clip out of a modern day "Leave it to Beaver". I feel closer now in finding that peace and quiet then I ever have in my life. At this point ever once in awhile, thanks to the phone, they intrude on my world but less and less.

 

Now it should make more sense whey I prefer non traditional holiday celebrations, the normal kind bring back alot of memories.

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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My familys turbelance and mental illness have left me feeling shell shocked. I can't stand what I used to live with daily.

 

Oh the turbulence that makes us stronger. You're probably a better, slightly more fucked-up, person because of this shit. But smoothing things over now would be nice. Does this shit still happen?

 

 

As for the christmas thing, I guess I needs me a good woman. I'm so stupidly deprieved of companionship, it really sucks when most of the ladies in your life are into other ladies! :o

 

But regardless, I'm still quite happy. Some tuition would be nice too.

http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html

 

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards" -Lewis Carroll

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Oh the turbulence that makes us stronger. You're probably a better, slightly more fucked-up, person because of this shit. But smoothing things over now would be nice. Does this shit still happen?

 

 

As for the christmas thing, I guess I needs me a good woman. I'm so stupidly deprieved of companionship, it really sucks when most of the ladies in your life are into other ladies! :o

 

But regardless, I'm still quite happy. Some tuition would be nice too.

 

I am a stronger person now but what a way to get there. At times I feel like I've been jerked through a knothole backwards (a favorite saying of my Fathers)...

 

Unfortunately becoming stronger has meant setting boundaries for my family so they are not as intrusive as they would like to be. This intrusiveness is the foot in the door before the controling and domineering behavior starts.

 

It still goes on but too a lessor degree. I am not normally there so I don't care if they want to tear each other apart. My sister is no longer part of the equation and normally no one else challenges my brother.

 

I am only going this year because My Mother is moving to a smaller place and has some family heirlooms she wants me to have. If I don't go and get them my brother would sell them.

 

Luckily I have a place to retreat to if things get out of control AND he lives in a gated community with Nazis at the gate...lol.

Eisan, I know what you mean about feeling like you need a relationship. It sucks to be alone. I am working on that for myself for Christmas. The problem is that he lives in Texas and I live in Florida...

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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My greatest Christmas wish, would be for EVERYBODY (cept' me) to go out of town for the holiday and leave me the fuck alone so I can sleep.

.

.

 

Phreak I've heard your schedule, I can understand that one.

I admire your fortitude because only a day or two of your schedule would drive me right over the edge into insanity.

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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Luckily I have a place to retreat to if things get out of control AND he lives in a gated community with Nazis at the gate...lol.

Eisan, I know what you mean about feeling like you need a relationship. It sucks to be alone. I am working on that for myself for Christmas. The problem is that he lives in Texas and I live in Florida...

Geez. You've got a manwhore in every state don't you? Hey eisanbt, maybe she doesn't have one in your state, yet. It's a long shot, but its worth a try.

Smart men learn from their own mistakes; Wise men learn from others. ;)

 

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.:rolleyes:

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Geez. You've got a manwhore in every state don't you? Hey eisanbt, maybe she doesn't have one in your state, yet. It's a long shot, but its worth a try.

 

Not every state, just Florida and Texas and the one in Florida is really just a friend now.

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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I'd like someone to pay my heat bill while I'm on maternity leave. That would make my Christmas.

 

They have been saying that heating costs were going to be high this year.

Angie, where do you live??

I have yet to use my heat and I went to the pool today and got some sun. IF I use the heat at all, it won't be until at least January.

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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I live in Connecticut....Good ol' New England.

My bill for last month's heat/hot water was $75. And I only used the heat half the month. It's gonna be a rough winter.

 

 

You got it good, to heat my flat its going to coast us about $500 per tank, and the landlords said well go through about 1 every month or month and 1/2 during the winter and we have LONG winters. :mad:

 

The US still has the lowest fuel prices on the planet so quit bitchin'.

http://www.boohbah.com/zone.html

 

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards" -Lewis Carroll

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What do I want

 

1. Weed

2. EVERYONE TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

 

Yes, I'm tired of dealing with my sensitive, overbearing and almost closely knit family every single damn year! Breathe around them funny and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. And heaven fucking forbid someone does something as trivial as not show up in some classy-ish outfit (yecch). These people talk about the same boring things all the damn time.....It's a damn good thing I'm going to be overseas for eight days. Now....About that goofy grass...

All bullshit, No Business.
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I'm with ya Komrade, my family is very controlling that way. I live in Florida and they are in Texas. I told them I couldn't make it for Thanksgiving but would be there for Christmas due to my school schedule, they even wanted to control that. I didn't play. I told them, I'll stay at home then and we will go to Disneyworld...that pissed them off, I won the game of chicken.

 

My sister in law doesn't like anyone helping to cook because she doesn't like to be shown up in that department, however its an easy thing to do because her cooking is shite...

 

As for what people wear, She likes to wear those really festive Christmas sweaters that are enough to make me gag...I will be wearing whatever I feel like on that day, it probably won't be red and green, since I NEVER wear that in real life.

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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I'm happy with my car, house, wife, kids etc...so...

 

...if we're talking ANYTHING...not just practical things:

 

1. For Islam to disappear from the world in an instant. :D

 

2. For enough money to quit my job and travel the world with my family for the rest of my life, opening aid centres like orphanages and hospitals in places that need them. Winning over everyone to our christian, western ideals through kindness. We're talking a completely obscene amount of money here... ;)

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Tori Allen

 

That's a sweet price for a top condition NSX - you guys get cheap wheels in the US. A guy who works for my old man bought an NSX new around 92/93, and paid over $100,000 for it - closer to $120,000 if memory serves...Aussie dollars of course....probably around $90,000 equivalent in US currency.

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I'm healthy, my son is healthy, I'm good.

 

Material wise, I'd like a man to sit on my couch and tell me everything I want to hear. Nothing else.

 

Immaterial, I have 1/2 of my sanity back so this is this best holiday I'm going to have in the past 10 years.

The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.

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I'm healthy, my son is healthy, I'm good.

 

Material wise, I'd like a man to sit on my couch and tell me everything I want to hear. Nothing else.

 

Immaterial, I have 1/2 of my sanity back so this is this best holiday I'm going to have in the past 10 years.

 

Hear Hear on the man on the couch...

If you find a good discount source that gift wraps, please let me know...

I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
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