Incident at the hospital.

[Jhony5]

I saw this ****ed up story on the news today.

This lady was in a terrible car wreck and slipped into a coma. Apparently the docters were unable to get her to come out of the coma despite their best efforts.
So they had a conference with her husband and asked him if their was anything he could think of to stimulate her so she might awaken. He went in and tryed talking about their kids and their honeymoon. Nothing. After hours of frustration he gave up and left the room.
The docters asked him again, "is there anything else you could do"? "Anything". He thought for a minute and reluctantly said "well, this is gonna sound kinda odd....but....well she really liked oral sex. I mean she was crazy about it". The docters thought for awhile and decided to let him try. So they let him go in her room and they locked the door and said good luck.

About 15 minutes passed and he came out of the room sobing unconsolebly. "She's dead, oh my god, she's dead". The docters flew into a panic and asked "What happened? What went wrong"?

The man looked up and said "I think I choked her to death".

 

[Outlaw2747]

WTF? Ummm....I can honestly say people are just straight up stupid. Gimme a damn break.

 

[Jhony5]

Its just a joke. Ya know, funny HAHA?

 

[ta2dgirl28]

I laughed, maybe I just have a warped sense of humor

 

[Crispy Critter]

You're a sick puppyy J5 but I have a true life emergency room story for you...

In the army all incidents involving soliders "of weirdness" are required to be entered into the MP blotter. Dispatched to the ER and this genious has been admitted with a 100W light bulb stuck up his ass... Begs to wonder watt was he thinking... mabye Vortex can en lighten us?

 

[Jhony5]

You're a sick puppyy J5 but I have a true life emergency room story for you...

In the army all incidents involving soliders "of weirdness" are required to be entered into the MP blotter. Dispatched to the ER and this genious has been admitted with a 100W light bulb stuck up his ass... Begs to wonder watt was he thinking... mabye Vortex can en lighten us?

Not a very bright idea, eh?

 

[Outlaw2747]

I am pretty sure he was quite enlightened by his experience.

But there are worse army individuals than that oh believe me...

 

[Jhony5]

A man goes to the doctor with a rather strange infliction.
He tells his doctor that he has been suffering from a very strange problem. His tells his doctor that his penis has turned orange. The doctor looked puzzled, "orange? What do you mean orange"? The man said " here, I should just show you". So he lowers his pants and sure enough, it's bright orange. "does it hurt" the doctor asked. "No, it doesn't hurt at all, its just that its orange". So the doctor asked him a few questions. Have you been sexualy active"? "No, i'm quite lonley" he exclaimed.
"What kind of social life do you lead"? The man said " Well, to be honest, I don't have much of a social life. Usualy I get off work and go home. Then I watch hours of porn and eat cheetos".

 

[Crispy Critter]

There was this other very strange blotter entry on a junior officer, graduate of West Point... The police found this white guy form CT parked in his sports car in the Afro American section of town wearing nothing but his socks jerking off. Maybe he was brighter than we thought... West Point 2nd Lt's life expentencies were measured in minutes in the Nam.