T
The 2-Belo
Guest
FADE IN
EXT. SPACE -- LOOKING AT THE EARTH
We see a view of the United States from space, at night. A small dot
forms, graphically, in the center of the country.
Presently, more of them slowly appear around it. Then, the pace
quickens -- more and more of them start to appear all over the nation,
in ever-thickening clusters, as frightening music builds to a
crescendo...
...and then, with an orchestral CRASH, the screen freezes. One of the
dots, in the general region of California, flashes yellow, riveting our
attention on it. There is a faint beeping for emphasis. The camera draws
nearer to the flashing dot as we --
FADE OUT.
An uncomfortable silence prevails for a second as we:
CUT TO:
EXT. WAL-MART -- DAY
An ominous single drum beat accompanies a brief view of a typical
suburban Wal-Mart in typical suburban America, which soon FADES OUT, and
we hear a voice over the blackness:
RUTHERFORD (urgently)
I don't know what you think you have here,
Phil...
We are suddenly shown the face of RUTHERFORD, a Wal-Mart executive.
RUTHERFORD
...but if this keeps up we are all going to end
up eating weeds for breakfast!
CUT TO:
Black again. Then, another ominous drum beat takes us to:
INT. CONTROL ROOM
A large office, with rows and rows of workers facing monitors. The room
is noisy with agitated humans, some running to and fro with sheafs of
papers in their hands.
At one terminal, SMITH, an analyst, confers with some others at his
workstation. He gestures at some data on his monitor.
SMITH
It's unmistakable, and it's consistent. Stores from
here to the Great Lakes are reporting anomalies... in
regular patterns.
A beat. Then an older, more wizened-looking coworker steps closer.
WORKER
So what are we looking at here?
Zoom in on SMITH as he makes his dire prediction:
SMITH
Nationwide failure... we've got less than a week.
More dangerous music rises as we:
CUT TO:
INT. WAL-MART
The camera tracks rapidly down an aisle of various wares toward
a group of people clustered around a particular shelf. From the
left side, an EMPLOYEE (#1) runs into shot at full sprint in the same
direction, noisily toward the group. One of them gestures excitedly
at him.
EMPLOYEE #1
What is it?!
He clatters to a stop in front of the group. Another EMPLOYEE (#2)
shoves a prop in his face: an electronic thingamabob that you see
people using to keep inventory of products.
EMPLOYEE #2
Part number 39-684B, the DVD _Super Mega...
Hardly able to remember, he consults a clipboard for the proper
pronunciation.
...Pinky-Chan_. Anime title. Arrived from Japan and
stocked last night. There were 11 pieces recorded
in the database this morning... we've sold one.
Beat. He looks at EMPLOYEE #1 painfully.
EMPLOYEE #1
...What?
Another zoom on EMPLOYEE #2, as the truth is revealed.
EMPLOYEE #2
Actual count... is four hundred and seventy-five.
Tight closeup on EMPLOYEE #1 as he REACTS, INTERCUT WITH:
INT. BEDROOM
A quick shot, panning upward, of an endless pile of DVD cases. The
title on each: _Super Mega Pinky-Chan_, in both English and Japanese.
INTERCUT: INT. WAL-MART
EMPLOYEE #1's face quickly turns from horror to realization, and then
anger, as he realizes what has just occurred. CUT to a shot from behind
him, as he whirls around Captain Kirk-like to face front, shaking in
rage.
INTERCUT: INT. BEDROOM
We continue panning upward, past hundreds and hundreds of more DVDs.
The camera pulls back, revealing mounds and mounds more of them. Some
are open, some broken altogether, some fused to the floor...
INTERCUT: INT. WAL-MART
EMPLOYEE #1
LUDBUNSKI!
INTERCUT: INT. BEDROOM
The camera completes its track backwards. To the far left, there is the
silhouette of a person. That person, bloated and globular like a
malformed Chicken McNugget, is rising up and down in a rhythmic motion.
There is a panting sound.
It is quite obvious to the viewer what the unnamed person is doing.
CUT TO: Black.
EMPLOYEE #1
LUDBUNSKIIIIIII!!!
CUT TO: Title sequence.
"INVENTORY"
COMING THIS SUMMER
--
The 2-Belo [the2beloATmsdDOTbiglobeDOTneDOTjp]
Emperor, Meow (Retired, on generous military pension)
afk-mn WebCenter: http://www.godhatesjanks.org/webcenter/
auk: Hammer of Thor by Special Decree 1999
(Upgraded to Diamond in 2005)
aavf3: mhm21x20
"Pearl Harbor didn't work out, so we got you with tape
decks."
-- Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi
born, Kyoto, 1937
family emigrated to San Pedro, California, 1939
interned at Manzanar, 1942 to '43
scholarship student, University of California, 1955
law degree, Stanford, 1962
MBA, Harvard, 1970
president, Nakatomi Trading
vice chairman, Nakatomi Investment Group
and father
of five
EXT. SPACE -- LOOKING AT THE EARTH
We see a view of the United States from space, at night. A small dot
forms, graphically, in the center of the country.
Presently, more of them slowly appear around it. Then, the pace
quickens -- more and more of them start to appear all over the nation,
in ever-thickening clusters, as frightening music builds to a
crescendo...
...and then, with an orchestral CRASH, the screen freezes. One of the
dots, in the general region of California, flashes yellow, riveting our
attention on it. There is a faint beeping for emphasis. The camera draws
nearer to the flashing dot as we --
FADE OUT.
An uncomfortable silence prevails for a second as we:
CUT TO:
EXT. WAL-MART -- DAY
An ominous single drum beat accompanies a brief view of a typical
suburban Wal-Mart in typical suburban America, which soon FADES OUT, and
we hear a voice over the blackness:
RUTHERFORD (urgently)
I don't know what you think you have here,
Phil...
We are suddenly shown the face of RUTHERFORD, a Wal-Mart executive.
RUTHERFORD
...but if this keeps up we are all going to end
up eating weeds for breakfast!
CUT TO:
Black again. Then, another ominous drum beat takes us to:
INT. CONTROL ROOM
A large office, with rows and rows of workers facing monitors. The room
is noisy with agitated humans, some running to and fro with sheafs of
papers in their hands.
At one terminal, SMITH, an analyst, confers with some others at his
workstation. He gestures at some data on his monitor.
SMITH
It's unmistakable, and it's consistent. Stores from
here to the Great Lakes are reporting anomalies... in
regular patterns.
A beat. Then an older, more wizened-looking coworker steps closer.
WORKER
So what are we looking at here?
Zoom in on SMITH as he makes his dire prediction:
SMITH
Nationwide failure... we've got less than a week.
More dangerous music rises as we:
CUT TO:
INT. WAL-MART
The camera tracks rapidly down an aisle of various wares toward
a group of people clustered around a particular shelf. From the
left side, an EMPLOYEE (#1) runs into shot at full sprint in the same
direction, noisily toward the group. One of them gestures excitedly
at him.
EMPLOYEE #1
What is it?!
He clatters to a stop in front of the group. Another EMPLOYEE (#2)
shoves a prop in his face: an electronic thingamabob that you see
people using to keep inventory of products.
EMPLOYEE #2
Part number 39-684B, the DVD _Super Mega...
Hardly able to remember, he consults a clipboard for the proper
pronunciation.
...Pinky-Chan_. Anime title. Arrived from Japan and
stocked last night. There were 11 pieces recorded
in the database this morning... we've sold one.
Beat. He looks at EMPLOYEE #1 painfully.
EMPLOYEE #1
...What?
Another zoom on EMPLOYEE #2, as the truth is revealed.
EMPLOYEE #2
Actual count... is four hundred and seventy-five.
Tight closeup on EMPLOYEE #1 as he REACTS, INTERCUT WITH:
INT. BEDROOM
A quick shot, panning upward, of an endless pile of DVD cases. The
title on each: _Super Mega Pinky-Chan_, in both English and Japanese.
INTERCUT: INT. WAL-MART
EMPLOYEE #1's face quickly turns from horror to realization, and then
anger, as he realizes what has just occurred. CUT to a shot from behind
him, as he whirls around Captain Kirk-like to face front, shaking in
rage.
INTERCUT: INT. BEDROOM
We continue panning upward, past hundreds and hundreds of more DVDs.
The camera pulls back, revealing mounds and mounds more of them. Some
are open, some broken altogether, some fused to the floor...
INTERCUT: INT. WAL-MART
EMPLOYEE #1
LUDBUNSKI!
INTERCUT: INT. BEDROOM
The camera completes its track backwards. To the far left, there is the
silhouette of a person. That person, bloated and globular like a
malformed Chicken McNugget, is rising up and down in a rhythmic motion.
There is a panting sound.
It is quite obvious to the viewer what the unnamed person is doing.
CUT TO: Black.
EMPLOYEE #1
LUDBUNSKIIIIIII!!!
CUT TO: Title sequence.
"INVENTORY"
COMING THIS SUMMER
--
The 2-Belo [the2beloATmsdDOTbiglobeDOTneDOTjp]
Emperor, Meow (Retired, on generous military pension)
afk-mn WebCenter: http://www.godhatesjanks.org/webcenter/
auk: Hammer of Thor by Special Decree 1999
(Upgraded to Diamond in 2005)
aavf3: mhm21x20
"Pearl Harbor didn't work out, so we got you with tape
decks."
-- Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi
born, Kyoto, 1937
family emigrated to San Pedro, California, 1939
interned at Manzanar, 1942 to '43
scholarship student, University of California, 1955
law degree, Stanford, 1962
MBA, Harvard, 1970
president, Nakatomi Trading
vice chairman, Nakatomi Investment Group
and father
of five