**** it all eh...

R

Roxy

New member
apparently i take everything for granted, i never clean OR cook (She tells me this as im making dinner AND cleaning the kitchen... )

Im ungrateful for the help she is giving me. When i turend 18 she didnt have to pay for anything anymore for me yet she has, and i should bow down to her, im 19 .. supposedly i am supposed to be able to do everything on my own, why ? Because she did. When she was 19 she was also divorced with a KID its kinda hard not to take control of your life when you HAVE to or you kid will be taken from you.

Yes i am 19, no that doesnt mean i can do everything on my own, i still live with you because i cant ******* live on my own. I CANT do everything on my own just because i am 19. Your answer for EVEYTHING is "You're 19 do it yourself."

I dont know many 19 year olds that live on theyre own and dont ever ask for help.

I dont ask for help... when its needed, why ? Because supposedly i can do everything on my own... so when i fail i get in trouble, you scream at me, tell me how ******* worthless i am and how ungrateful i am, and how i failed.

you threaten me... constantely, you scream at me, and just say, "no im just talking loud" NO YOUR ******* SCREAMING AT ME AND NOW I AM SCREAMING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SCREAMING AT ME AND I WILL TREAT YOU HOW YOU TREAT ME. oh yea then i get the "Dont talk to me like that i am your mother" i tell her, stop treating me like this, i try talking to her in a sensiable way, no raised voices, i tell her how i am feeling... and she ******* screams at me. we fight i cry and i leave, sometimes ill get a hug and a im sorry... sometimes i get a locked door and a dont ever come back, sometimes i get nothing and sometimes its like it never happened....

She screamed at me for 20 minutes... because she told me to do the dishes yesterday, i DID do them, despite not having the time. the only thing i didnt wash was a pan, and thats because i have always been told not to wash her cast iron pans cuz i do it wrong, apparently soap and water is wrong, she has a special way or w./e... so i got screamed at today for not washing the pan yesterday and because there are MORE dishes from today in the sink, she assumed i didnt do them all. THATS BULL ... so to not argue with her anymore i said this .,..

"Stop screaming at me, i will wash those dishes in there to make you stop, i shouldnt have to but i will because im tired of you screaming at me for **** i dont deserved to be scremed at for. Nothing ever pleases you."

So i started dinner and i did the dishes, when i was done she said thanks... THANKS ... i was like "Yeah, whatever."

She screams.. again ... "YEAH WHATEVER ? WTF IS THIS ? THATS WHAT I GET FOR SAYING THANKS, SEE THIS IS EXACTELY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL ****... "

My response "Yeah, ungrateful thats what i am... /sarcasm"

I was like "I hate living here... but... She cuts me off: "then move ill get my own 1 bdrm apt your 19 you do it yourself.

I keep going, "... but i have no other choice but to stay here with you." I cook i clean i am rarely home, and nothing pleases you.

I ******* hate living here, i hate crying everyday because i cant take her ****.... im going to ask my sister if i can stay with her for a while... she will most likely say no, but its worth a shot... At least ill get time away from my mom....

(yes i posted the same thing in my lj... http://www.livejournal.com/users/demonessentity/ but i never get advice there)

 
LPGotLinkinPark

LPGotLinkinPark

New member
I know what you mean and all. I'm like that with my mom (well not that extreme all the times but ya know...) Most kids don't move out at 18. I know a .....20?......year old still living with his parents. Also, if you're expected to do everything on your own, why are you required to do the dishes for her?..........I know about fights with my mom. They really suck. I get like you and scream and she tells me not to talk to her like that. I only do it because it's what I get from her. It's not like just because she's my mom means she can treat me badly and not expect some from me.

So pretty much.......I feel for ya girl. ;)

 
SpikeMinoda14

SpikeMinoda14

New member
****,i know what you mean.My mom acts they same way,and ever since my dad moved out i feel like i have been given the pressure of being the second parent in the house or i get chewed out,i clean,cook,do the dishes,vacume the rooms,wipe the coners,i mean i pretty much mother my 3 year old brother by changeing dipers,giveing baths,feeding him and putting him to bed and i'm ecspected to do all of this sh*t before MOTHER gets home....eventually the pressure builds up!!!! And to top it all of i'm only 14!!!! :( :confused:

.....Sh*t!!!! i got 2 hours before she gets home!!!

(runs to clean dishes)

 
M

majinkamahl

New member
Roxy...

I know exactly how you feel. As the resident Doc, so to speak, I feel like I need to help you. I was in the EXACT same situation, minus one difference. If I ever said anything back to my mother, my drunk step father would beat me. I do not mean beat me as in spank me or whatever, I mean throw me down flights of stairs, beat me with a crow bar, or fire poker, his fists what have you. I know more than anyone what you are going through. Please, I urge you to contact me.

majinkamahl@yahoo.ca

ajmack716@hotmail.com

Use the title, "A friend in need".

I want to help. I can not help but feel as though I must.

Take care, and reply post haste.

~MK

 
SpikeMinoda14

SpikeMinoda14

New member
Roxy...
I know exactly how you feel. As the resident Doc, so to speak, I feel like I need to help you. I was in the EXACT same situation, minus one difference. If I ever said anything back to my mother, my drunk step father would beat me. I do not mean beat me as in spank me or whatever, I mean throw me down flights of stairs, beat me with a crow bar, or fire poker, his fists what have you. I know more than anyone what you are going through. Please, I urge you to contact me.

majinkamahl@yahoo.ca

ajmack716@hotmail.com

Use the title, "A friend in need".

I want to help. I can not help but feel as though I must.

Take care, and reply post haste.

~MK
Click to expand...
YUP i heard your pretty good at helping people? :confused:

 
Minzara

Minzara

New member
I know how u feel i was on my own at 17... and finally just fixed things with my parents, and im 20 now so for 3 years i had nothing but myself i went homeless two times... best thing i can tell u is. That it can only get better :thumbsup:
 
stupidsoul1

stupidsoul1

New member
awww minzara ur life sucks =( *gives you a cookie*

roxy many people have the same situation as you it really really is sucky *hugs*

if life is a pie the only thing you can do is eat it

im sure your sister will understand your position.

 
Marizka

Marizka

New member
Im in the same situation, its like i never can have a normal conversation with my mom, we allways end up screaming at eachother, im ungrateful, im lazy, i dont care about her feeling..i wish i could move out, but im only 16. What i do: i try to avoid her, because then theres less chance of screaming. I do a lot at home but its never enough, and my dads almost never home, so he's not much help either. I know its very frustrating not being able to have a normal conversation, its hard giving advice. ive once tried writing her a letter, but i never gave it.

I hope it works out for you, or that you at least can stay with your sister for a while..*hugs*

 
M

majinkamahl

New member
Really,i am kinda not up to asking my mom for profecianal(sp?)help....do u think i could talk to u sometime? :confused:
Click to expand...



I welcome it. Whenever you got the time, type it all out here or on my help thread, or PM or email me.

 
immortal89

immortal89

New member
Hey Roxy and everybody who's going thru htis,

It the same with me but then u have your good itmes and your bad times, like ss1 said life is a pie and the only hting you can do is eat thru it, just make sure in all htis process u dont become like oyur mohter always screaming, just calm yourself and ignorance works best with em.

 
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Penguinscanfly_88

New member
I totally know how you feel Roxy And I feel for you at least you can leave I am stuck here for another 2 yrs or more. I cant talk back though or I get the Sh*t Knocked out of me by my mom aunt and sometimes my dad to at the same time But I hope you get out of there soon.
 
R

Roxy

New member
apparentely, 90% of people between 18 and 22 support themselves. (In my moms world they do) They dont rerly on theyre parents for anything. And im wrong because im not one of them.

I am convinced i must live withg a bf or have a kid before i am 20 to be accepted in this family, i mean *** knows thats how its been... lets look at the past history...

Mom -married at 15 first kid at 17.

Sister -first kid at 17 married at 19

Cousin Living with boyfriend and first kid at 15... currently lives with bf

other cousin -living with boyfriend at 16 pregnant at 19 with new boyfriend.

...and then there is me, roxy... 19 years old, no boyfriend that i live with and no kid(s)... No, apparently i am wrong because i work and go to school, and i have no kids or husband or boyfriend i am living with. I still depend on my mom for support in some areas, mostley money and thats because im a broke college student, i cant buy my own food, toothpaste toilet paper etc...

LISTERINE we got in a huge fight over listerine... i am a huge dental hygenie freak and we ran out of listerine, i meerley mentioned to her that we were out of it and she said she wont buy it for 2 weeks. I said that of course since it doesnt benifit her, she wont buy it for 2 weeks. (She has horrible oral hygeine... she doesnt use listerine.) Thats how it always is... if i need it it doesnt matter... but if its some soda, or candy or w/.e that makes her feel good, then sure she will buy it right away. before it was alcohol. I thought it was the addiction...NO .. shes just naturally like this, put her wants before anyone elses needs.

So yea she tells me that i should star paying rent because im not a FULL time student.... that **** she said as long as i go to school i can stay here rent free... not aying ANYTHING about HAVING to be full time, until recentaly, after i've already BEEN going this whole semester not being full time. Last semester i was full time, i also wasted money on classes i didnt need just to make full time status. This semester i had registered to be full time but couldnt afford the books so i had to drop 2 classes... when she found out i was dropping them she didnt say anything to me about how i need to be full time to stay here. so yea when she said "you cant take 2 classes the rest of your life and live here rent free... " today i told her this: [sarcasm]OH YA... i dont have plans on going full time next semester, im not saving my money to get books or anything im just gonna be part time my whole life...[/sarcasm]

MY ***.. she acts like i WANT to live here.

I told her i dont even know why i COME HOME at all. She says she doesnt know why i come out of my room with an attitude... what attitude ? She screams at me ill scream right back at her... i told her i dont know why i come out of my room at ALL... before i used to stay in my room on the computer all day and the only thing i got bitched at for was not coming out of my room. now i get this.

yea i probably sound like another whiny teenage **** to most of you older people who do support yourself and live on your own, but you dont know what im going through, this is bullshit i am actually considering moving out with marcelo, just because i dont want to live here and thats the only place i can go. he said he will get a place around here and i can live with him. I dont want to because its just too soon, but sometimes the verbal abuse here is just way too much..i cant even stand to be in my own home, i cant relax im alwyas on edge and tense i cant think about school or work clearley and i cant get sleep take a shower or eat without breaking down in tears.

Its just not right, who should have to live like this ?

 
Minzara

Minzara

New member
well atleast u didnt get into a fight with ur dad and throw him through a wall... and then get stuck on ur own at 17..... lol well anyway, no u shouldn't but its the only thing u can do right now ,unless u live on ur own...... so meh...
 
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Penguinscanfly_88

New member
You can come live with me!!!!!! lol :) I dont really think you would want to though Its almost as bad here but they would prolly like you cuz you arent me. But you can talk to me anytime you need to cuz I know what you are going trough soo if you need to talk just let me know :) :)
 
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