Ahhlee
New member
About five years ago, I made a bet with a friend of mine that if neither one of us were married by January 1st, 2010, we would elope that day and marry eachother. Hahaha, right? The idea seemed funny and harmless enough at the time we struck the agreement...and it still is, don't get me wrong, but that day is approaching fast. It's not that big of a deal. It's just another day and I know it was all done in the spirit of jest!
But lately, the friend I made the bet with has been acting differently towards me. The rest of our group has noticed it, too, and have asked me about it. It seems like he talks about our pretend marriage a lot and really enjoys joking about me being his wife. He's been calling me more and wanting to do more things together, just the two of us. Last week while my best friend was home, we all went out and a man from a local charity group was selling raffle tickets at the bar.....the grand prize is a new Mustang. "D" bought three tickets and told me to put my name on the third one. I said, "but what if I win?" to which he replied, "the drawing is on New Year's Eve. If you win, then I win, too, honey!"
Now, I'm completely oblivious when a man is showing me interest. Honest! I'm surprisingly obtuse in that department and my friends tease me that the only way I would figure out if a guy is into me is if he beat me over the head with his club and drug me off to his cave. I think that he's still just being himself, but everyone else is insisting that there is a difference, and they all think that perhaps he will ask me to take our friendship to the next level before I move. He did ask me to go to a concert with him this weekend, so maybe the drive alone with him will give me the chance to feel things out. He's not exactly the lovey-dovey affectionate type, so I doubt he will express any grand declarations of love or anything, but perhaps I'll pick up on the vibe if there is, in fact, one there.
Here's the thing....the guy is AWESOME and he is a catch! He's tall, dark, very handsome, smart, has a good sense of humor, and is a bit more on the quiet side than I prefer but when I do get him talking I enjoy visiting with him. He's responsible, financially secure, got a great house, is a good farmer, patient, kind, well mannered, likes kids, wants a Harley, appreciates big *****, knows I can be a pain in the *** but seems to like hanging out with me anyway, he's respectful toward me, he encourages me, he would never abuse me and his parents and three sisters love me. In fact, he tells me all the time that his mother says, "D...you need to marry that girl! She's a good girl!"
This coming from his Catholic mother who knows I am a Protestant *****.
He was part of the crew that went to Vegas with me and we had so much fun! He didn't complain once and even hauled my suitcase around for me!
He also loves my cooking.
He's everything I should want. Everything!
So why don't I want him?
What the **** is wrong with me?
Right now, I don't feel that overwhelming rush of euphoria I'm supposed to feel for the man I love when I'm with him. I feel genuine affection....but not that lightning bolt of shock I've felt in the past for another. If he asked me to explore the idea of being with him, would those feelings grow? Would this friendship develop into a different kind of love? Would it develop at all?
My head tells me it might. My head says, "Try it! He could offer you stability, safety and keep you close to your family. You know you need someone to keep you grounded, otherwise you'll float along aimlessly forever!"
My heart says, "You need to follow the call to move on. You need to see what's out there waiting for you! I can offer you no guarantees of security, and you'll be far away from your loved ones, but the rewards you discover could be all the answers you've been searching for. You would finally be 'home'."
So which do I listen to?
I'm really, really confused at the moment....so let me have it. I'm ready to hear it.
But lately, the friend I made the bet with has been acting differently towards me. The rest of our group has noticed it, too, and have asked me about it. It seems like he talks about our pretend marriage a lot and really enjoys joking about me being his wife. He's been calling me more and wanting to do more things together, just the two of us. Last week while my best friend was home, we all went out and a man from a local charity group was selling raffle tickets at the bar.....the grand prize is a new Mustang. "D" bought three tickets and told me to put my name on the third one. I said, "but what if I win?" to which he replied, "the drawing is on New Year's Eve. If you win, then I win, too, honey!"
Now, I'm completely oblivious when a man is showing me interest. Honest! I'm surprisingly obtuse in that department and my friends tease me that the only way I would figure out if a guy is into me is if he beat me over the head with his club and drug me off to his cave. I think that he's still just being himself, but everyone else is insisting that there is a difference, and they all think that perhaps he will ask me to take our friendship to the next level before I move. He did ask me to go to a concert with him this weekend, so maybe the drive alone with him will give me the chance to feel things out. He's not exactly the lovey-dovey affectionate type, so I doubt he will express any grand declarations of love or anything, but perhaps I'll pick up on the vibe if there is, in fact, one there.
Here's the thing....the guy is AWESOME and he is a catch! He's tall, dark, very handsome, smart, has a good sense of humor, and is a bit more on the quiet side than I prefer but when I do get him talking I enjoy visiting with him. He's responsible, financially secure, got a great house, is a good farmer, patient, kind, well mannered, likes kids, wants a Harley, appreciates big *****, knows I can be a pain in the *** but seems to like hanging out with me anyway, he's respectful toward me, he encourages me, he would never abuse me and his parents and three sisters love me. In fact, he tells me all the time that his mother says, "D...you need to marry that girl! She's a good girl!"
This coming from his Catholic mother who knows I am a Protestant *****.
He was part of the crew that went to Vegas with me and we had so much fun! He didn't complain once and even hauled my suitcase around for me!
He also loves my cooking.
He's everything I should want. Everything!
So why don't I want him?
What the **** is wrong with me?
Right now, I don't feel that overwhelming rush of euphoria I'm supposed to feel for the man I love when I'm with him. I feel genuine affection....but not that lightning bolt of shock I've felt in the past for another. If he asked me to explore the idea of being with him, would those feelings grow? Would this friendship develop into a different kind of love? Would it develop at all?
My head tells me it might. My head says, "Try it! He could offer you stability, safety and keep you close to your family. You know you need someone to keep you grounded, otherwise you'll float along aimlessly forever!"
My heart says, "You need to follow the call to move on. You need to see what's out there waiting for you! I can offer you no guarantees of security, and you'll be far away from your loved ones, but the rewards you discover could be all the answers you've been searching for. You would finally be 'home'."
So which do I listen to?
I'm really, really confused at the moment....so let me have it. I'm ready to hear it.
