I've actually had this conversation before with other BBS board Admins and Mods, and for some reason they all seem to think that if some ******** comes on say their message board and talks about wanting to off them selves, that we as MODS/ADMIN should encourage them to seek help and all that ****. But personally, I don't see it that way.
Why ??
Because I am the type of person who has already experienced death. I have lived through dying and was brought back by Dr.'s.
And once the realization of a near death experience like that gets into your head. You start to realize that all life, including your own, means nothing. Sure your loved ones will grieve... maybe... maybe not... but within time you are but a ******* blip of a memory on the minds of others.
At least, that's how it usually works, after a while people would just say about you... yeah, that was the dumb ****** who killed himself, he's ******* worm food now..
A kid I used to goto school with in Iowa named Rob ******* shot himself when he was like 20 or so. I saw his grave when I payed a visit to my fathers grave the last time I was in Iowa. It was about 3 or 4 plots away from where my dad was buried.
I looked down at Rob's grave... reflected a bit on his life and how I knew him... reflected a bit on my own and thought to myself, that around the same time he killed himself, I was also having serious issues with a drug problem and with the law and that I had also, almost made a resting place beside his stupid ***.
And as I looked down again at Rob's grave, and seen the cool CAMARO etched into the stone, I simply smiled... laughed a bit, a thought to myself...Rob, if that's how you want to be remembered as a person.... by your ******* CAR, then you truly belong in the ground with the worms.
And I proceeded to laugh some more, then I said out loud to Rob "HA-HA, YOU DUMB ***, YOUR SORRY *** IS DEAD AND I'M RAISING A FAMILY.... DUMBFUCK !!"
But all that aside, I have my own internal demons that haunt me that never go away. And they even affect my life and my willingness to go on, but I don't think that death , and a swift one at that, is my decision to make for myself. And I really don't need some ******* .ALT internet BBS to get advice on how to off myself, I think I am experienced enough to do that on my own, and not enough of an attention ***** to say to any ******* on the internet "HEY LOOK AT ME, I WANNA DIE".
If I'm gonna ******* off myself, it is nobodies ******* business. I'm sure the ******** who can give the great advice on how to best do it, have no way of proving their theorys of death unless they try it themselves.
So if some numbskull thinks dying is a WAY OUT of ****, they will get the same thing from me that I gave to Rob.. A big ******* chuckle, and all my best wishes in succeeding.
The way I see it, that's one more job opened, more food for the people on earth who want to live, and more ***** to **** if you left behind a girlfriend.
Life ******* goes on without you in the end anyway, so I don't care.
If your family is in a ******* state of utter chaos like that Beth Holloway Twitty *****, then the laugh I get will be even funnier because it only proves that the ******* who decided to off themselves because they thought they were a worthless piece of ****, just proved themselves wrong.
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