Men and child bearing

[timesjoke]

With the current comments about waiting for a child to be born I thought I would offer my view on men and how the child bearing process is not as easy for us as so many women try to make it seem.


Unlike popular belief, men are "doers". Sure we put off a lot of things sometimes but once we have a serious enough situation that needs to be dealt with, we tend to look for the "fix" and get it done.


When our significant other is pregnant this normally hard to understand female now has a massive chemical enduced mood swing that has us looking for a "fix" that is not attainable. No matter how many midnight runs to the store to get things you don't have, there is no possible way to make this person happy. At most you can get short term passification followed by more unhappy and what seems to be crazy requests.


This situation is difficult and confusing for the man but the time of labor can be enough to drive them completely mad. We see the woman we locve in great discomfort and our every instinct is to try and help but there really is nothing we can do so we feel helpless but at the same time we are trying to be supportive and for a man who is feeling completely helpless....this can be a very tough time, but then you have the few men who must face a completely different situation.


Sometimes the woman will enter a kind of crazy state where she will scream, yell, call her man names and blame him for her condition as if he had committed genocide in a African village. Physical abuse is not unheard of to include stabbing and throwing things at the father. I have a close friend who had this happen to him and they even got part of it on tape but that was erased and to this day she will not allow any discussion of it and refuses to admit she acted that way.


To his credit he does not hold any anger or hurt feelings for her treating him that way, but I believe saying men "have it easy" is a great disservice to fathers in general.






I have had three children and all of them brought slightly different situations into the picture. What I always thought was interesting was the cravings. The old "ice cream and pickles" never happened but I remember things like chicken wings and eggs for breakfast or 3 runs to Taco Bell on the same evening. Oreo cookies and cream cheese.


What are some of the weirdest cravings you guys have heard of?

 

[atlantic]

LOL @ this. When I was pregnant my sister swears I hit her quite often (I seriously do not recall that). The only person I can remember threatening was my doctor whom I insisted better make sure the meds were working before he cut into me. Other than that I was happy as could be.

 

[emkay64]

I agree with you about the waiting and helplessness. As for nothing making the woman happy during a pregnancy...well...I'm sorry that was your experience. When you squeeze a pineapple out the end of your weenie...we can have discussions about "crazy" and irrational behavior. Until then...Times...hush the f ck up!

As for cravings...no weird ones. I ate the best when I was pregnant...meat made me sick, and I had zero desire for grease or sweets. I craved the salad bar...cherry tomatoes...yummy. I did have aversions though...peanut butter made me want to hurl...and it was like I could smell it all over the house...it needed to be rinsed away immediately. The smell of coffee and the meat dept at the grocery store were terrible. I lost 15 pounds the first 6 months lol.

Hmmm...yelling....well...at one point I had an intern that was in taking a history. I'd just been given pitocin and the contractions were a bitch! I recall yelling "these fukking contractions are going to break me in half"....he was sweet and let me squeeze his hand...the baby was crowning. I also told a nurse to "get the fuk out". I was in the shower for pain relief and she kept poking her fukking sour puss face in saying I wasn't "managing correctly"...she was removed and all was well. I had great nurses, Craig was great and the pain was incredible...but it's all worth it in the end.

 

[timesjoke]

I agree with you about the waiting and helplessness. As for nothing making the woman happy during a pregnancy...well...I'm sorry that was your experience. When you squeeze a pineapple out the end of your weenie...we can have discussions about "crazy" and irrational behavior. Until then...Times...hush the f ck up!

Just to clarify I did try to say this was pushed by the chemical dance that was happening in the woman. I don't think it is done on purpose or anything, I was just saying that men have a hard enough time trying to understand women as it is but this takes the situation to a new level.


I guess I was trying to say we are not just sitting on the couch with the remote and not a care in the world as so many try to say we are, lol.




I loved my ex-wife very much. Seeing her in discomfort was hard for me and I remember spending a lot of time with back rubs and foot rubs, baths, pillows, hot packs, cold packs, an endless supply of food items that none the less was insufficient and required regular trips to the store for things I didn't have, but I didn't mind because I loved her, not to mention how excited/scared I was at being a father of this new life and the responsibilities that went with it.


No, child bearing is not easy for men, at least not for this man, lol.




em, it is interesting you hated the smell of peanut butter, the ex craved peanut butter all the time with my youngest, peanut butter and bannanna sandwiches in fact, lol.

 

[emkay64]

Wow...trips to the store? I honestly never did that. No night runs for food etc. I ate normally actually. I'm sorry the ex was such a twat as to not appreciate what little you could do for her. I'm always amazed at how helpful some are and then...there are guys I know who wanted to stop for McDonalds cause he was hungry on the trip to the hospital...or the guy that wanted to finish his golf game first. It wasn't Craig...but two men I know lol.

I enjoyed both my pregnancies...they were great start to finish...except with Kayley...I had gall bladder attacks so bad...I had it removed the day after Kayley arrived. Those attacks were murder and put me in emergency at the 5 month mark...but...other than that...all went swimmingly. I loved being pregnant.

 

[emkay64]

Having a baby is the equivalent of a man having his nuts crushed turn by turn in a vice while the wife asks what you want for dinner. You know she's being nice, but the pain of it all makes you not quite give a sh t. It's difficult to articulate what you need when there are no breaks in hours of intense pain.

 

[eddo]

I love peanut butter and banana sandwhiches! but I'm not preggo, I'm just fat.

 

[timesjoke]

Having a baby is the equivalent of a man having his nuts crushed turn by turn in a vice while the wife asks what you want for dinner. You know she's being nice, but the pain of it all makes you not quite give a sh t. It's difficult to articulate what you need when there are no breaks in hours of intense pain.

lol.

I agree, it is a difficult time for the woman. If you thought I was trying to dismiss what the women go through then I am sorry for that, becuase I am not. I have tried to say a couple times I do not blame the women for what is happening to them and I mean that.


I was just trying to say the man's situation is not all peaches and cream as so many people try to say it is. In many ways studies have shown that psychological stress is much worse than physical stress and my point is the man is certainly enduring a lot of psychological stress during the process.



I meant no offense em, just trying to get a little credit for us men in an area we never get any credit for.

 

[RegisteredAndEducated]

It's all very new. AND she's a red head... So I'm doubly screwed... But she's not so bad... She's on a whiny kick now about "hurry up and get out already!"

We've gotten into some good little arguments, but overall she's pretty good.

She hasn't had alot of weird cravings, but she's eating okra for the first time in her life...