Men Who Hit Women.

Another member and I were discussing the issue of domestic violence the other day and we both agreed it is never acceptable for a man to touch a woman in anger.

There are usually two opinions on the matter:

1) A man should NEVER hit a woman. Even if she comes after him, due to the differences in strength, the most a man could do is restrain her until she calms down. Because a man is naturally stronger than a woman, he should never use his strength against her even if he is threatened.

2) A man is allowed to use force against a woman when he is threatened or for self defense. If a woman attacks a man with the use of a weapon (like a gun or knife), he is perfectly entitled to use force.

What do you guys think? Although I feel a man should never lay a finger on a woman even when provoked, if she came after him with a weapon (thus having the advantage) then a man should be perfectly allowed to protect himself.

Serious thoughts only, please. No wife-beating jokes.

Another member and I were discussing the issue of domestic violence the other day and we both agreed it is never acceptable for a man to touch a woman in anger.

 

There are usually two opinions on the matter:

 

1) A man should NEVER hit a woman. Even if she comes after him, due to the differences in strength, the most a man could do is restrain her until she calms down. Because a man is naturally stronger than a woman, he should never use his strength against her even if he is threatened.

 

2) A man is allowed to use force against a woman when he is threatened or for self defense. If a woman attacks a man with the use of a weapon (like a gun or knife), he is perfectly entitled to use force.

 

What do you guys think? Although I feel a man should never lay a finger on a woman even when provoked, if she came after him with a weapon (thus having the advantage) then a man should be perfectly allowed to protect himself.

 

Serious thoughts only, please. No wife-beating jokes.

I personally believe that a man should never strike a woman in anger. I never have, and I never plan to. There are plenty of other things to hit out there, to be hitting a woman. I feel like, if a relationship is to the point, where violence is occurring, then that relationship should probably stop. I've had one or two relationships, where she and I would fight and argue, she might take a swing or start to scratch or slap... The only thing I would do back was attempt to restrain her. She might have a bruise where I grabbed her wrist or whatever, but I would never lay a hand on her with the intention to do harm.

I, however, have never been attacked by a woman who was using a true weapon. I can

I feel like, if a relationship is to the point, where violence is occurring, then that relationship should probably stop. I've had one or two relationships, where she and I would fight and argue, she might take a swing or start to scratch or slap... The only thing I would do back was attempt to restrain her. She might have a bruise where I grabbed her wrist or whatever, but I would never lay a hand on her with the intention to do harm.

I agree with this. Physical violence should never be used in a fight in a relationship. Although I strongly believe a man should never hit a female, it would be unfair for the woman to constantly hit the man while crying FOUL! if he retaliates. In the end, if physical violence is used on either end in a relationship, then the relationship should end.

I, however, have never been attacked by a woman who was using a true weapon. I can

I have a no hands on policy at my home. Nobody hits nobody.

My daughter’s boyfriend smacked her around a couple of times. He went to jail one time. I told her that she needs to defend herself. She had a scholarship to play softball. She’s an excellent catcher and pitcher. So she’s pretty strong.

Well the next time they got into it she went to jail for second degree assault. They said she was on top of him choking the shit out of him.

I think it’s been about 7 breakups now. I sure hope it’s over this time.

I was brought you don't hit a woman. In my bar days i used to get into fights with guys who beat on there girls in the bar. What always made me roll my eyes was some dude would be beating on his girl, you'd grab him and start kicking the shit out of him, then she'd grab you and start bitching at you for beating him.

snafu: Don't know how you put up with your daughters boyfriend, if a guy hit my daughter boyfriend or not, the next punch he'd throw would be at me because I'd be kicking his ass.

There is times a woman deserves a good beating, but hitting her is never the answer.

I believe everyone has a right to defend themselves. My mother, on the other hand, sees things the way you do- a man should either restrain her or leave. But sometimes this just isn't possible. If a woman is holding a gun to a man's head, I feel he should have the right to knock her out. If she is being psychotic and threatening, it should be no holds barred. If he CAN restrain her or leave, then sure- take that road. But it would be unfair to say he is less of a man if he acts in self defense. Just my opinion.

I can understand where you are coming from, and I'm not saying I wouldn't do whatever I had to, IF my life was threatened, I'm just saying I can't see myself hitting a woman.

I dont think it would make a man, less of a man, to protect himself against any attacker. That's a human instinct.

It's when a man's aggression or temper causes him to strike her, that it becomes a problem.

My second wife and I had our ups and downs, but I never struck her, never abused drugs with her, I wasn't an alcoholic, nor did I ever cheat on her. It was plain and simple, I worked all the damn time with long days of ten hours plus being the norm.

One evening (August 17, 1999 to be exact) I came home late to a dark house. My wife was sitting at the dining room table waiting for me. She began blathering about how I'm never home and that I must be cheating. So I just played it off with a little sarcasm and went into the kitchen. She followed me... bitching and yelping.

All I wanted to do was drink a beer, eat something, and watch a little television. My mind was racing as she bitched on. I kept thinking, "Why doesn't she believe me?" and "Isn't the money that I am bringing home reflective of the hours I've been working?". She didn't fucking care... not one scintilla.

I tried to remain calm, but my nerves finally got to me and I snapped right back at her. I called her a "spoiled cunt" and then I slammed the pantry door so hard that it cracked the jamb. I then punched the fiberglass pantry door with my fist and cracked the shit out of it. (Back then I had a short fuse. No seriously.)

She went ballistic, grabbed a kitchen knife and ran towards me thrusting downwards with it. I took the edge of the blade across my wrist. As a reflex, my arm came up and before I knew it I had backhanded her with the Southpaw.

She fell and I left the house. Two hours later, I come back to the house and lo and behold the fuzz is waiting on me. Fuck! I was arrested in my driveway no matter how much I pleaded with them about what she did to me. They kept saying, "Tell it to the Judge".

So I got seriously belligerent all of a sudden and broke free of the cops leading me away and ran up to my wife. I told her that it was over, completely over... when I get out of jail have your shit packed up and get the fuck out of MY house. Ten seconds later the cops pounced on me and bound my ankles!

I had to do the following to pay my debt to society; 1500 hours of community service, spent two nights in jail, attend six months of anger management classes (50 bucks a session!), and I had to adhere to a restraining order.

The divorce cost me nothing... thank the Lord.

So in response to Phantom, no... never hit a woman. Let her beat the holy fuck out of you and slash you up. The cops won't believe you either way.

I have a no hands on policy at my home. Nobody hits nobody.

My daughter

Everyone deserves a good beating at one time or another. lol Regardless, physical violence towards a loved one is never the answer.

No one is above an ass-whooping.

I can understand where you are coming from, and I'm not saying I wouldn't do whatever I had to, IF my life was threatened, I'm just saying I can't see myself hitting a woman.

I dont think it would make a man, less of a man, to protect himself against any attacker. That's a human instinct.

It's when a man's aggression or temper causes him to strike her, that it becomes a problem.

Yes, yes. And I completely understand. Since I am a woman, let's use the analogy of hitting a child. I would never go and beat a child because they upset me but if some little street thug threatened me, I would beat his ass. But, I do respect your decision. Like you said, though, nobody really knows what they would do in that situation until it happens.

...She went ballistic, grabbed a kitchen knife and ran towards me thrusting downwards with it. I took the edge of the blade across my wrist. As a reflex, my arm came up and before I knew it I had backhanded her with the Southpaw.

 

She fell and I left the house. Two hours later, I come back to the house and lo and behold the fuzz is waiting on me. Fuck! I was arrested in my driveway no matter how much I pleaded with them about what she did to me. They kept saying, "Tell it to the Judge".

 

I had to do the following to pay my debt to society; 1500 hours of community service, spent two nights in jail, attend six months of anger management classes (50 bucks a session!), and I had to adhere to a restraining order.

 

So in response to Phantom, no... never hit a woman. Let her beat the holy fuck out of you and slash you up. The cops won't believe you either way.

I am very sorry to hear about this and what happened between the two of you. It is true, domestic violence charges do seem to be in favor of the woman.

Something eerily similar happened with two of my friends who are now divorced. She was bitching he was never home, they got into a fight, she went after him with a knife and also caught him on the wrist, he pushed her down, he left, later returned, and was arrested.

My husband also went through something somewhat similar with his first wife- only she completely fabricated the charges and there were even witnesses who vouched for my husband and gave statements that she went after him and that he never retaliated. Regardless, my husband was taken to jail although the charges were later dropped due to the testimony of the witnesses.

It doesn't sound very fair.

I have a no hands on policy at my home. Nobody hits nobody.

My daughter

Kick his fuckin ass, Phanny.

Don't stop till it's spanked.

Serial repetitions means putting up with the same old shit.

Break the cycle.

Sooner the better.

My second wife and I had our ups and downs, but I never struck her, never abused drugs with her, I wasn't an alcoholic, nor did I ever cheat on her. It was plain and simple, I worked all the damn time with long days of ten hours plus being the norm.

 

One evening (August 17, 1999 to be exact) I came home late to a dark house. My wife was sitting at the dining room table waiting for me. She began blathering about how I'm never home and that I must be cheating. So I just played it off with a little sarcasm and went into the kitchen. She followed me... bitching and yelping.

 

All I wanted to do was drink a beer, eat something, and watch a little television. My mind was racing as she bitched on. I kept thinking, "Why doesn't she believe me?" and "Isn't the money that I am bringing home reflective of the hours I've been working?". She didn't fucking care... not one scintilla.

 

I tried to remain calm, but my nerves finally got to me and I snapped right back at her. I called her a "spoiled cunt" and then I slammed the pantry door so hard that it cracked the jamb. I then punched the fiberglass pantry door with my fist and cracked the shit out of it. (Back then I had a short fuse. No seriously.)

 

She went ballistic, grabbed a kitchen knife and ran towards me thrusting downwards with it. I took the edge of the blade across my wrist. As a reflex, my arm came up and before I knew it I had backhanded her with the Southpaw.

 

She fell and I left the house. Two hours later, I come back to the house and lo and behold the fuzz is waiting on me. Fuck! I was arrested in my driveway no matter how much I pleaded with them about what she did to me. They kept saying, "Tell it to the Judge".

 

So I got seriously belligerent all of a sudden and broke free of the cops leading me away and ran up to my wife. I told her that it was over, completely over... when I get out of jail have your shit packed up and get the fuck out of MY house. Ten seconds later the cops pounced on me and bound my ankles!

 

I had to do the following to pay my debt to society; 1500 hours of community service, spent two nights in jail, attend six months of anger management classes (50 bucks a session!), and I had to adhere to a restraining order.

 

The divorce cost me nothing... thank the Lord.

 

So in response to Phantom, no... never hit a woman. Let her beat the holy fuck out of you and slash you up. The cops won't believe you either way.

Did your backhand leave a mark? See, in your case, I can see why you smacked her, I dont look down on you at all for that. I think I'd be pissed if I'd had my wrist cut. The law in River Branch or whatever sucks balls apparently... That's fucked up. If she cut you, obviously leaving a mark, and you smacked her, which may or may not have left a mark, SHE should have been the one in jail.

She sounds like a real bitch. Sounds like you were being nice just to call her a spoiled cunt. Raging bitch sounds more accurate. I think I may have called the cops before I left, just so that they knew from me that there was a problem. That or when I left, went to the police station.

Either way, sounds like a fucked up situation. Fuck that bitch!

I am very sorry to hear about this and what happened between the two of you. It is true, domestic violence charges do seem to be in favor of the woman.

Shit happens... they say! It wasn't meant to be and I wholeheartedly believe we'd end up in divorce within the next three to four months.

Something eerily similar happened with two of my friends who are now divorced. She was bitching he was never home, they got into a fight, she went after him with a knife and also caught him on the wrist, he pushed her down, he left, later returned, and was arrested.

I was allowed to see a doctor. I had to get stitches for the cut; only six, but still enough to allow seeping. Fuck. I still have the scar.

My husband also went through something somewhat similar with his first wife- only she completely fabricated the charges and there were even witnesses who vouched for my husband and gave statements that she went after him and that he never retaliated. Regardless, my husband was taken to jail although the charges were later dropped due to the testimony of the witnesses.

Fucking spooky, Phanny. My brother and his girlfriend were shacked up together for a time and she did the same shit! Concocted a story to get out of a lease. Fucking bitch!

It doesn't sound very fair.

Life isn't fair... I just plod along.

Did your backhand leave a mark? See, in your case, I can see why you smacked her, I dont look down on you at all for that. I think I'd be pissed if I'd had my wrist cut. The law in River Branch or whatever sucks balls apparently... That's fucked up. If she cut you, obviously leaving a mark, and you smacked her, which may or may not have left a mark, SHE should have been the one in jail.

She sounds like a real bitch. Sounds like you were being nice just to call her a spoiled cunt. Raging bitch sounds more accurate. I think I may have called the cops before I left, just so that they knew from me that there was a problem. That or when I left, went to the police station.

 

Either way, sounds like a fucked up situation. Fuck that bitch!

Err... I shouldn't have spat on her and kicked her in the ribs while she was down.

Kidding.

Fucked up situation, R&E. No matter who calls the cops, the man is always going to jail.

Serious thoughts only, please. No wife-beating jokes.

you really suck...

Fucked up situation, R&E. No matter who calls the cops, the man is always going to jail.

And that is a sad, sad fucking fact...

There is times my wife should have kicked my ass, but luckily she has not done that. Most i ever got was a phone book to the chest, knocked the wind out of me though.

You probably deserved it, TOW.

All the fuck I ever did was work my ass off and pay bills.

And my ex-wife was a fucking beautiful latina mamcita with big boobs and a thick ass. I had my cake and I was eating it, too.

This country is biased towards the woman. There are a FEW cases where justice is served but when it comes down to it, the woman always seems to get away with murder (or attempted). She gets put in counseling or probation or community service or some other form of a slap on the wrist. If a man does it he is seem as the biggest piece of shit on Earth, a scumbag, and not worthy enough to live. They want equality, let them have it. Stick their psychotic asses in jail for a long time whgen they decide to get crazy.

Now I don't condone anyone hitting anyone in a relationship. At all. Man should not hit woman. Woman should not hit man. If they cannot solve their issues without hitting each other then they need to be separated. I am 5'4" and about 140 lbs. I am a little guy, not very muscular at all. If a woman comes after me (without a weapon) I'm not gonna beat the hell out of her but I will definitely show her not to mess with me without really harming her, simply because of the biased law. I don't like hitting ANYONE but I will defend myself. Even when a big guy gets punched or kicked in the balls it still fucking hurts. Society tells us "You are a man, suck it up and quit being a pussy." whereas if a dude simply slaps a woman it is "OMG you almost killed her you fucking scumbag!!!" Woman are not THAT fucking weak, quit catering to them all the damn time, that's how they get away with shit and alot know this. Some of them attack the guy because they know (or think they know) the man won't do a damn thing as far as hitting them back.

Like I said, I would restrain them somehow or push them away or hold them and tell them to calm the fuck down (even doing that is going to put me in jail probably but it is better than bruising her and seeing the proof). Now if she has a weapon, fuck jail. Her having a knife, a gun, or even a frying pan negates the man having more strength. We aren't built with armor, we are flesh and blood too. You are damn straight she is going to get taken down with authority. There needs to be some fucking justice in this damn country instead of putting these bitches on a pedestal like they are the world's most precious creatures. Sorry, not every female is cream of the crop.

Bottom line, no one should hit no one. A man has the right to defend himself should push come to shove (necessary force, not beating her to a bloody, unidentifiable pulp) and this is one part of equality that most people don't give a fuck about fixing. If you don't agree with me on this I could give a rat's ass.

Domestic abuse is just messed up.

I went to a seminar about it, to film a documentary. The seminar was hosted mainly by the women's refuge, but there were a few other organizations too. Anyway. There were maybe 9 or 10 speakers there, and a few of the speakers had slideshows of injuries from abuse. Holy shit guys, I wish I still had the footage. A few pictures showed a lady who'd been burned with a clothes iron, and it looked like she'd been beaten/choked with a phone cord. You ever been hit with a phone cord? The curly ones? They'll fuck your shit up. Anyway, lots of awful pictures of battered women/children, and I think there may have a been a couple of men too.

...One of the speakers gave an account of her stepfather sodomizing her with her crutches...

Anyway. I don't think men should be hitting women(vice versa) either, but I totally support anything done in self defense. Getting knocked for defending yourself is just bullshit. If I'm coming after you with a knife, you better shoot me. And the bullets better be silver or I ain't going down. I'll just get angrier.

See? I'm encouraging you to kick my ass in the event I turn into a raging bitch.

But, as has been said before, if your relationship is at that point, just get out.

Kick his fuckin ass, Phanny.

Kick who's ass? lol

I was allowed to see a doctor. I had to get stitches for the cut; only six, but still enough to allow seeping. Fuck. I still have the scar.

That really sucks they wouldn't give you proper medical attention. And yes, our friend still has the scar as well. This incident only happened a little over 2 years ago, I would say.

There is times my wife should have kicked my ass, but luckily she has not done that. Most i ever got was a phone book to the chest, knocked the wind out of me though.

hehehe. Sorry, but that is a little funny.

The only two times I remember hitting hubby both happened several years ago. Once I gave him a light finger-only warning slap when he was getting too close for comfort while in one of his moods and another time I threw a coffee cup at him the day I was launching my skin care line, running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to load up the products into my SUV, putting the finishing touches on some things, all while taking care of the baby. Hubby was on the couch sleeping. It was a very immature thing to do and made me feel about 2 inches tall. I apologized for weeks.

I was brought you don't hit a woman. In my bar days i used to get into fights with guys who beat on there girls in the bar. What always made me roll my eyes was some dude would be beating on his girl, you'd grab him and start kicking the shit out of him, then she'd grab you and start bitching at you for beating him.

 

snafu: Don't know how you put up with your daughters boyfriend, if a guy hit my daughter boyfriend or not, the next punch he'd throw would be at me because I'd be kicking his ass.

 

There is times a woman deserves a good beating, but hitting her is never the answer.

Don't think for one second I didn't contemplate going over and kicking his ass! My daughter called me up and asked me not to confront him. I was going to stomp the little worm back into his hole.

I also think men shouldn't hit women. The majority of men are stronger than most women so should use that strength to restrain the woman if she comes after him. Men taking advantage of their strength over women are cowardly and not real men. Of course there are some exceptions, like the already mentioned life threatening instances or when some dumb broads just need the shit smacked out of them;)

So when a woman is all pissed off she has a right to go completely nuts on him by kicking him in the balls or gouging his eyes out or punching him in the nose when he didn't cause the conflict and continue to punish him whereas a man has to sit there and "take it like a man" unless she uses a weapon?

Double standard. Just because a man hits a woman because she intends to do serious harm (such as what I stated above) does not give her any special privledges. NO ONE SHOULD BE HITTING ANYONE. PERIOD. If an man should do something is not not use all of his force (and causing serious injury) and let the bitch know what is up. Show her that messing with him is a BAD IDEA. If she has the "balls" to dish out hits, she better have the "balls" to take them.

Me personally wouldn't hit ANYONE unless provoked. But this double standard bullshit by treating women with a form of respect when they are clearly out to severely damage you is out of the question. Most of the women who attack a guy know the law and they will use it to their advantage. Damage the guy the best they can while chivalry holds him back and in most cases no matter what, he will get the blame and tossed in jail ANYWAYS.

They want equality? Suffer the same damn consequences for initiating an attack as a man would. Stop putting bitches on pedestals. Weaker my ass, anatomically this is true but one should learn a lesson about biting off more than they can chew in some sort of way.