My Life Died Today

Well, I haven't been here in quite the long while, so I'll make up for that with a song I wrote...:O

 

My Life Died Today

 

Don't try to tell me why I'm still here

Waiting

Don't try to tell me it's okay

(It's not okay)

Quit trying to pretend that you care,

It's not helping

It's hard to make it through the day.

(I'm not okay)

Every day I wonder why you keep trying

(To make it better)

When I tell you it's okay, I'm just lying

(I could lie forever!)

 

And the worst part of my misery is

Knowing exactly what went wrong

All of my constant grief is

What's driven me to write this song

All I can do is

Hope it'll get better from here

All I can hope is

That I'll overcome my fears

 

No one will ever know that I

I'm rarely happy with myself

No one has ever known that

I've put my real self on the shelf

What you see here

Is a replica, a clone

I look into the mirror

I see myself, but I'm all alone

Try to make myself heard

But I find that I am ignored

You listened to not one word

I don't care, I'f felt this all before

 

Still, the worst part of my misery is

Knowing exactly what went wrong

All of my constant grief is

What's driven me to write this song

All I can do is

Hope that it get's better from here

All I can hope is

That I will overcome my fears

I don't want to

Live my life here all alone

I will not be

Just a simple clone

(Of myself!)

 

All the movies say that

This should be the point when it

Get's better

Why won't it

Get better?

Everything you see on TV

It all says that it won't

Last forever

Why does it

Last forever?

But does getting better

Require so much pain

Ah, who am I kidding?

My Life died today!

 

And still, the worst part of my misery is

Knowing exactly what went wrong

All of my constant grief is

What's driven me to write this song

All I can do is

Hope that it'll get better from here

All I can hope is

That I will overcome my fears

The worst part of my mempoy is

Knowing exactly what went wrong

All of my constant grief is

What's driven me to write this song

All I can do is

Hope that it'll get better from here

All I can hope is

That I will overcome my fears

 

I don't want to

Live my life here all alone

I will not be

Just a simple clone

(Of myself!)

 

Don't try to tell me it'll

(Get better from here)

I allready know it should

(Get better from here)

But is is supposed to take so long to

(Get better from here)

How much longer untill it will

(Get better from here)

'Till it

(Get's better from here)

Will it

(Get better from here...)

 

Better from here...

Good, it's lengthy, which is good, shows that you are fluent, but you must add more emotion to it, I like the constant use of repition, it creates fear but you must be more creative, just play around with te words a bit more.

But I must give you a pat at the back, it's very nice.

wow, thats great, i like the length, it shows you really have got something to say and its definately worth reading it all!

When I tell you it's okay, I'm just lying

(I could lie forever!)

I really like that line, i like how you played with words. great job! :thumbsup:

omg go buy a candy bar you clearly have issues.

I like it. It kinda tells us a bit about you....... but *hugs* good job!

omg go buy a candy bar you clearly have issues.

 

Yeah, and while you're commenting on how many issues I have, you're obviously too afraid to deal with your own. Look, I barely have any time to deal with people like you who obviously have no respect for anyone else. If you just want to comment on my issues, then you're better off just shutting up, because you're obviously not commenting on the song.

 

Sorry you guys had to see that, I have little to no tolerance for that kind of crap...

niether do the rest of us, nurmi.

 

Otherwise, love the song, especially this part:

 

I don't want to

Live my life here all alone

I will not be

Just a simple clone

(Of myself!)[/Quote]

Great song.. It's long which shows you put a lot of thought into writing this piece. Like immortal89 said, Needs more emotion. You want something that's going to attract people into listening to the song and you don't want something that's going to be, in the words of Don Gilmore (aka Linkin Park's album producer) "a one candy coated listen to song..You want it with tons of depth so that it becomes a classic song." But I must give you props..I wouldn't be able to write a song that well..Awesome..I'm stunned. :thumbsup:

Good, it's lengthy, which is good, shows that you are fluent, but you must add more emotion to it, I like the constant use of repition, it creates fear but you must be more creative, just play around with te words a bit more.

But I must give you a pat at the back, it's very nice.

 

i agree with this

 

it's a nice song and i can relate to it..