My Mind

[Peterdea]

This is something I've never done before. For the last hour I have written down things as I think them. It could be cool to read. With only 1 of my stories still going this will end up as one of my main things.

The rules are basically that I can't correct spelling mistakes, I can't delete anything, I can't leave anything out, I have to make sure I give other the chance to read it. B

By reading this your probably going to get an idea of who I really am. So here we go I suppose:

---

I’m bored today. As usual. I have TRUSTcompany playing on winamp. I just turned it up loud, it sounds better that way.

I’m on the internet downloading (or trying to) download a song. “I Never Loved You Anyway” by the Corrs. It thought it would be easy to find. But it turns out nobody has it.

Well I have found it. It’s past 50 percent. But I’m not going to be surprised if it stops before 100 percent cuz I only have one host. It doesn’t matter. I have like, another 20 songs to get anyway. After I get them I might help some of the folks at LinkinParkForums.com to find songs that they want.

Ah would you look at that! It finished! Sweet. Next song on the list, “Movies” by Alien Ant Farm.

Sitting here like this kinda gets depressing after a while. I’ve done nothing but this for the last 4 days. Sleeping has become increasingly difficult. Oh well. Could be worse.

“So im stepping back inside, stepping back in silently”. I love those lyrics. The whole song (it’s by TRUSTcompany) is awesome.

Now I have to read about a movie I saw an ad about last night. It’s called “the happening”. I should do that now.

I missed breakfast again this morning. Which is kind of annoying. I’m eating cereal now but it’s a bit late, I should be eating lunch. I don’t know why it matters to me, but I feel pretty wrong eating breakfast for lunch right now.

My toe isn’t hurting. Good thing, when it does hurt, it wrecks.

The Happening looks good actually. Just read a bit about it. I think it’ll be way worth seeing. June 13 release date. Is that here or everywhere? Not that it matters. I’ll probably get it on DVD before it hits conemas anyway.

**** I hate spelling mistakes. Always come out of nowhere.

Hey awesome! One of my good mates from LinkinParkForums is chatting to me on msn now. I explained to him what I’m doing, probably iddnt do a good job of it… Oh well.

We’re discussing if Linkin Park Forums had a CoD4 or Halo3 clan. Thatd be pretty sweet. Well for me it will when I get xbox live and Cod4.

Oh, he just brought up a great idea, but I think it’s been tried before and failed. A LPF Band! Oh well. I figured it would be cooler to make it 2 bands that are against each other. That would be interesting. Lin,kin Park Cover Band idea cmae up. This is a pretty eventful conversation I suppose. Usualy my conversations die at How Are You? Pretty ****.

I feel like listening to 3 Days Grace Time of Dying. It’s a cool song, it makes me think. What is it like to die? Does it hurt no matter how you die? Is there really such thing as a peaceful death?

The song also makes me think about what its possibly about. When I hear it I hear the obvoious. Someone dying. Waiting for someone though, someone who may never come. It makes me think of how I’m going to go out. If I’m lying in hospital who will be by my side? Will anyone?

It makes you wonder what people actually think of you. I think that all the time. If theres one thing I feel uncomfortable with, it’s hanging around someone who I think doesn’t like me. I feel like I’m annoying them. And if I don’t hate that person then I feel even more ****.

Aparently theres a thread for the clan idea. On Linkinparkforums of course. Sweet. I guess. I don’t have wifi yet for my wii or live for my 360. I guess I can take part though.

Anyway where was I… Oh **** it.

I have got even closer to gRace recently. I’m not feeling too good about her anymore though. As much as I like her, I can’t just push aside the fact shes cheated on every one of her boyfriends so far. What makes me any different? I’ll tell you, I’m almost harmless. I don’t fight people. When she finds that out, (if she and me ebd end up together) she’ll take advantage of it won’t she? Anyone like that would. I don’t want that. I’d be ****** over by her and that **** ****** me off. I don’t want to end up a violent person but that’s probably how it would end. My aggression has gone up recently anywany (anyway) so that’s going to be a problem.

The reason for my boost in aggression I suppose is Luke and Ash. They frustrate the **** outta me sometimes.

Hey look, 784 Words! Awesome! Almost 1,000. I’ll probably do this all day as I’m super bored.

Movies has been finished for ages.

Speaking of movies Zombie Apocalypse 1 needs to be filmed. I’m excited about it. It won’t turn out perfect, but I’m still excited. At school, I’m like the ultimate director. \People always ask me for advice since I’m just what they are looking for. Well okay maybe not everyone, but a lot of people do. Well now that I think about it I wouldn’t even say a lot. The select few that do make movies come to me/.

Next soing on the list to download is For The Bandaged Iris by Poison The Well.

I’m listening to READY AIM KMISFIRE by New Years Day now. She’s so brutal that lead singer. She’ll **** anyone up who shoots a love arrow at her. But I can say, if she can be made to feel that way then shes luckier in love then me. I never get very far. It annoys me. It always has. I lie about it frequently, but truthfully at the moment the only thing i/m missing in my life is a partner. Yeah im a teenager, young and with plenty of time, but my mates yhave girlfriends and I don’t. I just feel so alone among them. (Hey! 1,000 Words! Awesome!)… I’m sure I’m not the only one of my kind. You see I fit in with the coolexst people and the nerdiest. Problem is, I’m as good with girls as a nerd. In other words my skills are very ******* low. I have nothing. What can I tell them? “I playt pokemon! I love using my computer! I fail most subjects at school!” All massive turn-ons her girls? <spelling error ther just so you know. Figure it out

But I can look on the Brightside. I have friends, lots of them. More then I can count on a good day. I owe it all to Jeff. He’s a ******* legend. If he never stuck up for me I’d be nothing but a loser right now. I’d be feeling sorry ofr myself and not trying to ficx all my problems. But he let everyone know who I was and people liked that. Anyone who can become Jeffs friends ends up with heaps of friends. Because earning his respect is difficult. And to ear his you earn a lot more then just his. So now I have craploads of friends and it’s greatr.

New topic completely. Taproots line on there song birthday “If I had just one more day, I’d tell you everything, everything I had to say” . I get that a lot. I want to tell someone a lot of things but I can’t do it. I either never talk to them or I don’t have the ***** to say it. It’s just like sorry, it’s hard to say.

Which reminds me of a topic of started lpf way not too long ago. I was told to apologize to a teacher to try make **** better. If I did that now it’d make the dsituation for me a whole lot worse. I didn’t do it then because I hate losing to teachers and if I do it now ill cop **** from every teacher at school. I had an argument the size of Russia with this teacher and now, as you could imagine, a war ahas broke out between us. And whats interesting about it, the vice principle of the school is supporting me bascily. Allowing me to fight for myelf. I was expecting to get in trouble but it turns out that she agrees that when you feel like your beign screwed, standing up for yourself and your friends are worth it.

I’ll have been writing for an hour in about 5 minutes. I hav4en’t got a lot since I haven’t been awake long. But that doesn’t matter,. I’ve written down things as I think of them. I’ll keep doing this all day (or at lewast the next feew hours.).

I had better explain the reason, but that’s not really needed. It could be for any reason. Not just my own reasons. It could be fun for others to trwad READ.

Spelling mistakes. Grr. I’m not correcting them as that would slow the thought train. I make so many cuz im trying to keep up with my thought.ds. thoughts.

Now wopuld be a good time to post it but ill wait. No thoughts in my head. I bret bet ill get a though before I post it. But oh well. It can wait.

I have absolutely nothing rihght bow NOW. Just a complete frustration.

1564 words! Not bad for a dead mind. It’s nothing too bad. Or good. It’s just average. I suppose im proufd of it since I haven’t been awake long so my brain is dead. But meh.

Hmmm. Not a LOT GOING on. **** caps lock. Jsujt like the sindows key. Its gay. Makes it hard to play games. My cousing got rids of his.

**** turns out I have 10 minutes left. Shame. I’ll post it anyway.

​

​

 

[Ravynlee]

You know what, I read it not knowing what to expect and you know what I came away from that with? I was actually envious! I know it sounds weird but as far as I'm concerned spilling any part of your true self out there for the world to see takes a lot of guts, and while most people would just go 'pfft! I could do that!' not many do - or when they do they aren't being honest - it's all edited and fashioned to what they think they should be. You know what, that was brave - I wish I could do this. It's like a journal but it's raw and honest, like I said, far more real than anything you after the editing process. Meh, that's just my humble opinion.

I know you think you haven't had much to talk about, but it's not what you say, it's the fact you said it. It's a window into Peteopia

Commendable work. Good stuff!

 

[Peterdea]

You know what, I read it not knowing what to expect and you know what I came away from that with? I was actually envious! I know it sounds weird but as far as I'm concerned spilling any part of your true self out there for the world to see takes a lot of guts, and while most people would just go 'pfft! I could do that!' not many do - or when they do they aren't being honest - it's all edited and fashioned to what they think they should be. You know what, that was brave - I wish I could do this. It's like a journal but it's raw and honest, like I said, far more real than anything you after the editing process. Meh, that's just my humble opinion.I know you think you haven't had much to talk about, but it's not what you say, it's the fact you said it. It's a window into Peteopia

Commendable work. Good stuff!

It measn a **** of a lot to me that you read it. And your opinion on it jsut makes me feel liek doing this a lot more. So I've decided I'll try to do an hour or so every day.

I hope this can get others to read it. YThis is a door to my mind and my life. It's not a event memorial it's a thought memorial.

I have written another hour and that will be all for today. I'll do some more tomorrow. I give it a guarentee.

---

Is there such a thing as destiny? Does it really exsist? If so, does that mean that theres really a *** who decides it? If there is why does he favour some? I’m not being emo about this, I feel if there ids a ***, I’m being favoured.

My family is probably the bets family ANYONE can as kfor. My grandparents, my parents, my bros, my sister, my uncles, my cousins, my great uncles and my great unties. I have it all. Even people close enough to the family to call them family.

Recently I’ve becom

**** I MISSED A PHONE CALL! BY A SPLIT SECOND! **** IT! I hate that. I really do. Specialy since I am at home alone right now with nothing to do but write my thoughts.

It’fs funny how music really has an impact on how I think. It sticks thoughts into me really well. |It’s only boring songs that don’t make me thingk. But then again, even they aren’t too bad. They can at least get me to rant oin aviuyt ABVOUT ABOT ABOUT **** for a few hours. Like the movie Donnie Darko.**** I hate that ****!

My toes are reqally numb. Sucks doesn’t it. It means I can barely wlak properly. It’s the cold that’s doing it. It’s opretty cold in my room now. Codler then it is outside.

I prefer cold weather, when I can wear heasp of stuff. But with my toe as it is it hurts to put anything on it. Well not really, but I don’t want to risk it. I’ve lied about my toe heaps. I tell my mates it wrecks. Not lying so much, that’s because it doesn’t hurt when I tell them but when it does hurt it’s almost unbearable.

It has only really hurt at laste late nights. So it’s prevented me from gaining a few extra hours sleep. Bullshit. Unfair. But I deal with it alright.

I told the nurse it hasn’t hurt a t all. That’s a lie. Big lie. The whole late night thing hurts like a ******* *****!

I’m going t oget myself some good smells. Well what I really mean by that it try to wash my hair without wetting my toe (impossible to do so with a normal shower) and do whatever else I xcan to stoop em from smelling. Its pretty sick how bad I smell rite now.

I submitted a track into yh the linkin park forums sessions but I dunno if its accepted. I sure hope so. Me and Jack ewok worked hard on the lyrics. I helped jack as best I could on the actual sound of it and Timmy did the hard work of mixing it etc.

Ewoks are cool. I used to play a nerdy Star Wars game, was so fun. I had a ewok army with at ATST. Oh and Stormstroopers. Great gfame.

My song collection that I needa download is almost finished… well not so much, but for the amount of attention ive paid to it its coming along nicely.

Ah Taproot’s “She”. The memories to this song are crazy. A few years ago Luke and his girlfriend were having problems. Big problems. I sent luke the song NS and it almost became and anthem. It’s a great song. Absolutekly awesome.

Funny how many spelling rrors ive had. Some of them so pathetic like xcan.

I think someone is home, but I cant hear properly. Oh well. I won’t go check. No point. If whoevers there wants to come talk to me then they can come talk to me. I have no reason to talk to them yet. \

Theres still a chance its nobody aswell. So meh.

Meh, *** that word ****** me off. I say it but I try not yto. Damo says it so often that its just annoying to hear.

Damo is a good kid trhough. He has add or maybe adhd, cant remember. He grew up with me ad as one of his very few friends. So you could imagine me and him are pretty good friends. I think hes happy with that to. Cuz of him, I had one of the best nights of my life at the footy with him,asgh… him ash ands amantha.

I’m happy with most of my life. I got distracgted before. I was going to write about my family and it just got away from me.

I have goitten really close to a lot of my family. All my grandparents and me are close, my aunties on my dads side and I couldn’t be much closer, most of myc cousins as I are close, me and jack being the closest of all.

We’ve been close for as long as I can remember. He was my first real friend. We had so ma many adventures. Whether it be fending off a dog that scared thre **** out of us, getting rid of some annoying little kids, scaring little kids, playing soccer, making movies, playing xbox, making music. We’ve done so much. It’s always good to have a cousin like him. H’es funny as. Anyone can like him, but also anyone can hate him. He annoys people so bad. It’s funny thT.

When I think about it, I don’t know why io have breakdowns. My life is so close to how I want it to be. I know whats missing ans and im working on it. I have friends thsat support me in every way I coukd ask them to. I try to be there for them as well. But its ahrd when theres so many of them. And when two of my friends go to war with each other, I can’t take sides and usually I’m the one who ends up fe getting hurt. Which usually ends the waR, which shows that they care about me. Which tell me that I’m blessed even though I don’yt believe in blessings.

I’m a strange sorta person when it comes to believing. I don’t bvelieve in religion, but I believe in ghosts, aliens and monsters. It makes life more fun. It’s like, no rules with things to be scared of.

One of my dreams is to be in a ghost hunting team. Or just a paranormal investivagtor team. Thatds be wicked cool.

One day I’m going to go monster hunting. I promised myself that. It makes me feel better. I’ll document it as I wish I could do with my whole life.

My life revolves around media. Music, Video, Photos, everything.

If my friends didn’t support me to to it, then I would just go on without them. The one thing I fear more then death (a painful death) is dying without any records of what I’ve don’t in my life. I want to be known. Okay not by everyone in the world, but I want someone, oneday after I die to see all the videos I make in my lfie and say “he did so much with his life, he had a fun life, good on him for documenting it”. I’d be willing to one of those sihty mtv shows even.

I bet I’d regret saying that if I agreed to do one. They all look so fakre and depressing. It makes me laugh though. Por people. Allowing mtv to benifet from them. I suppose though, it’s not bad for me. I don’t care if a profit is made, as long as someone watches it.

That where I differ from a typical media worker. They are all about profit, so they will do anything to get it. If it’s unscripted, they throw something in the mix and try to make uit interesting and along the way lsot the point. LOSE the point. Me on the other hand, will leave it be and I will always say, we’ll give ythis as cheap s possible, if not free. I hate ripping people off. It annoys me.

I ,might fgo on myspace for a while soon. Even though I only go on myspace occasionally, it would be a nice change to go on 2 days in a row.

I love msn group conversations, Harvey always starts them and they are great. So entertaining. Sometimes though, people frustrate me. They try to be funny by paying people out and fail miserably. It’s pathetic if you ask me.

Last night there was one where these two guys tried to gang up on me. It would have worked if one of them wasn’t a half mute ******. I try to be nice to everyone, but when they challenger my friends only because thye are weaker, im going to step in. I try not to fight, and so far that’s worked out good, but if it comes down to it, im not scared to get my *** kicked. A lot of people are and I don’t understand it. If you take it and don’t fight back, you can ask the perswon how they feel attacking someone whos not going to fight back. Ask them if it makes them feel big. Or if you do fight back you can at least say you gave it your all, or did an okay job defending yourself. Especialy when there a lot of them ganging up on you. It’s not a big deal really.It’s just a bit of pain.

If you can’t take the pain of being hit, then, learn to. In this world today, the chances youll get hit are increasing. It’s lame and sasd that people go to such lows.

But I can deal with thsat. I deal with things in my own way. No drugs for me, acahol isn’t a big deal for me and so on with cigarettes.

I dislike smokers. They annoy me. I hayte the smell. It makes me sick. I don’t see why people do smoke. It’s like calling an eventual hit on yourself. Not a good idea. You do die from it you know!

I saw something where they sadi your more likely to get cancer when youtr older. I dobnt care about that ****. The risk sucks. Cancer sucks. My family is hurt because of cancer at the moment. It’s sad, and I feel guilty about it, but what can I do?

I visit her, I talk yto her.

My pa is coping. He’s still very funny.

Most people his age and above are funny. Either that or I like them because they tell me stories of there life.

That interests me so much. I love heqaring about peoples lives. Especialy war veterans. And I don’t mean the ones who do all the interviews, I mean the ones who are almost forgotten. The stories you hesar are insane.

World War II is amazing to me. I can’t say I don’t wish I could have been there, but if I was there I wouldn’t want to be.

I want to ghave an interesting life. I want to have stories to tell when im old. I have a few yeah, but not the kind of stuff I can talk about always. I want to travel heaps, I want to do all kidns of things.

It’s funny because I always imagone the plutonic me. Perfect to me in every way. My goals are rarely achievable. But I fight for them anyway. I have the self esteem to do that. At leastr I think it I do.

I’m tired and the ideas are out of my hewad again. I might stop here and maybe writer one hour a day as often as possible. That could wrok. I’ll give it a go for sure.

​

​

 

[Ravynlee]

I’m tired and the ideas are out of my hewad again. I might stop here and maybe writer one hour a day as often as possible. That could wrok. I’ll give it a go for sure.

As well you should!

And again I could just repeat everything I said before. But as lame as it's going to sound as inane and rambling to you as any of that may come across, to me it read like a short story. Okay, unedited, unscripted, plotless as it was, but it really was a glimpse into another's life - which is what the media does anyway, transfers us via technology in whatever realm, to others. Look at Youtube, perfect example. But the point is it is good reading, it's real, I laughed at the Meh bit, and being chased by a dog as a kid. Randomness but entertaining anyway.

Oh and one more thing - this whole opinion of leaving a legacy, which on some level we all aspire to do anyway I think (I hope), you just did. I know not like on the screen or in print but still, anything you share here IS a legacy because more people than you will ever know will read it and catch a tiny glimpse into you as a person. You might just be a username here but to someone else reading this you might be a real inspiration, never know in this world, huh?

Again, great stuff. Honestly. You know I love my writing and I'd tell you if I thought it was ****

Look forward to regular installments of your head - I might never visit another journal again!

 

[Peterdea]

Oh and one more thing - this whole opinion of leaving a legacy, which on some level we all aspire to do anyway I think (I hope), you just did. I know not like on the screen or in print but still, anything you share here IS a legacy because more people than you will ever know will read it and catch a tiny glimpse into you as a person. You might just be a username here but to someone else reading this you might be a real inspiration, never know in this world, huh?

This made me think a lot,its a great point it turly is!

Again, great stuff. Honestly. You know I love my writing and I'd tell you if I thought it was **** Look forward to regular installments of your head - I might never visit another journal again!

it's great that your honest about it, it inspires me. It really does.

 

[Ravynlee]

Thanks. I try to help where I can. That's MY legacy. I'm nothing in my real life but at least here I know whoever they are people (are obviously) reading what I write, and I am conscious about what those that read take away from what I say. I'm not out to save the world, I'm just aware of my tiny place in it, and if I never achieve anything in my life, godforbid I die tomorrow, then I know on some level I have a part of me always here on the virtual realms that will not only serve as a reminder of what I did but also a glimpse of me at the time I penned it.

That's deep and introspective but it's true. If more people stopped and thought about what they said, even the context of saying it, things would be different in this world. And lets face it Pete, we are both writers on whatever level. We know what it's like to create worlds inside our heads. Sharing that with anyone else can be scary but it's also a little thrill too to see how what we create and what people think of us from that is accepted. It's probably like what being on stage must be like in some way... writing, singing, even designing a poster for a billboard is all self-advertisement. We're just fortunate enough to have the talent and the guts to put it out there and hope it leaves a good enough legacy on us as people for when we are no longer able to do it.

And I'm sober! Haha. Well, I rant, but you know what I mean. As for inspiring anyone? That's always amazing to hear too. As social creatures we humans take what we need from those around us to help us evolve in this great human soup called existence. If one person hears your voice it's amazing. If one person hears your voice and finds his own, even better. What greater thrill in life can there be than that?

Thanks again. Look forward to more tomorrow

 

[Peterdea]

I really went into details about my mates and stuff like that. I sort of ranted about *** a bit. Didn't know I thought this sort a stuff. Embarrassing. It's my opinion though, I wrote it as it came to me...

---

​

It’s always good to get a phone call when your at home alone. Especially when you’ve been home with **** all to do for a week.

I’m happy as **** cuz I’m staying at Jacks tonight. Gonna watch Diary of the Dead.

I’ve been excited for Diary of the Dead for so long now, that it’s gonna be hard for me to resist watching it again even if it sucks.

I’m a huge Romero fan, all his work is interesting to me.

I ****** off someone who used to be my mate, feels bad now but he deserved it. He went so low as to threaten me over a joke so, I told him to get stuffed. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to joke around? He does it all the time… ******* loser.

I am mostly thinking about going to Jacks. It’ll be an awesome change to go somewhere else for ages. I’ve spent very few hours out of the house this week. It’s depressing.

I told Jack heaps of stuff, I talked SHITLOADS and he understood which is whats cool about him.

He understands, he takes tiem to listen. If he disagrees he’ll let you know, but he’ll do it in a way where he’ll try not to hurt you. He’s pretty much one of the mates I would stand beside though anything.

Although I say I’d be there through anything to some of my mateds its only really true ofr a small handful of them. Jack and Ash top the list, cuz they have helped me thorugh so much. Luke can be put up there aswell.

I’m feeling great now, although my toe is a wreck, not hurting but a wreck, I can’t think of anything else I’d change.

I think it would be fun to film a movie tonight and tomorrow. Maybe a documentary, maybe a rip off of the condemned oor maybe another typical zombie movie. I dunno.

Maybe We wont make a movie, maybe instead we’ll play oblivion for hours. Either way it’ll be great.

Also I’m pretty sure that tomorrow I get to go visit my grandma, something I only very rarely get to do. It’s annoying that I rarely see her, because shes always sick id like to spend tiem with her to make her know how much I care.

That’s the only negative about having an awesome family like I do, when you cant be there for one of them you feel horrible.

That is, except for my uncles ex-wife. She scared the absolute **** out of me. No offense to him, but he’s much better then that and shouldn’t have wasted his time.

His kids are cool though. Ben the nerd who I get along with really well, and little daredevil luke who I see on even rarer occasions then ben and my grandma.

He’s crazy. From a really young age he’s been doing **** I wouldn’t dare to even consider! Jumping off roofs and whatnot.

My uncle Graham is a legend. I feel really sorry for him though, his wife left him after a massive fight they had. I know it happens but I know the cause wasn’t his fault./ He tried so hard, and he is the coolest ********** ive ever met.

Unlike my brothers mates… They are all no-hopers. Well most of them haha.

Michael is so awesome. I wish I could be as charismatic as him. I am really charismatic, but he is just NUTS. He smokes and all, he hangs out with no hopers… but he has a future lined up for him. I bet he could get any job he applied for just by talking. He’s polite as too. I don’t see how he can do that.

A different Michael came into my mind now. He is always smiling. It’s scary. He’s really awesome and all, but how he can be happy all day every day confuses me. I thought for a wihle, yeah he could be hiding something, but now I can guarantee, he isn’t hiding anything.

I’m actually beginning to become a Sipmle Plan fan. Soemthing I never wanted. But hery, the more music l like the beter. I cant help but to smile when I hear songs I like. Especialy When I’m gone by Simple Plan./

Music, Morbithida. I love it but I hate it. Vocals I love em, but I hate em. TRhe whoel death metal thing grows on me, but timmy is a douche. Well okay hes not that bad, but when he angers me he REALLY angers me.

I want to read Stephen Colberts book, he is pretty much the funniest guy ever. He out fuunnys even adam sandler. He is one of the most influencial people in general.

My spelling sucks. I should improve. Same with my typing skills. I’m fast but the mistakes I make are horrible.

Why does time lag so much… I want to get out of here. It annoys me. But I have toi put up to it. Oh well.

I think I need a hug right now. I’m a little bit stressed suddenly. How does that happen? Perfect to Frustrated in seconds almost.

Freddie Mrecury. I can’t describe how much I look up to him. No I’m not gay but… Freddie is so inspirational. The fun he had during his life, and when he knew he was dying the way it didn’t stop him from making music. Yeah he stopped touring and all but he made some damned good songs.

Brian May saw him and during hids last music video he looks absolutely horrible. I saw it and it made me feel like crying almost. I saw videos from his earlier life to his last video and it seems like a waste. If theres a ***, then *** made a fucknig terrible choice. Kill of such a person, out of jealousy it would seem.

That’s why I don’t let myself believe in ***, I look at him as a jealous ******* who hates it when people give someone more attention then him. ******* *****.

Is death a statement from him? I don’t care really, a bit of a rehetorical question anyway.

**** I hate them. That make me confused. And I had to write them in a report tihngo at school.

SCHOOL! Not gonan waste my time thinking about school am i?

Maybe I am…

Nope…

Adema came back with a bang with Kill the Headlights. Good album. PlaNETS licks testicles comparewd to KTH.

I’m happy now. Happy again. Another change. Weak.

Not to bad for my life. Not to bad at all.

---

​

Freddie Mercury proof points. I can't watch the second one, i repsect freddie mercury to the point where i hate seeing him like that. The song makes me feel sad.

watch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=faUuwRDRrqA&feature=related

then

watch: http://youtube.com/watch?v=YOJPvxgkvn8

 

[crazy robster]

Aww my darling...*sniffle* I always knew what you were because I've talked to you for so many hours and I DO have the gift of reading people's soul more than you or anyone else thinks. I'm not psychic, just... I can do that anyway. I have always admired you Petie, I have always thought you weren't like the rest of the kids of your age. I KNEW and I still know you are different. And when I say different I mean it in a more than flattering way. I have read everything that you wrote in this thread so far. It didn't help me discover the real you, it helped me confirm that what I have always believed about you is correct. You are one of those people that I would like to sit and talk with for hours. But when I say talk I mean a real face-to-face Deep and Meaningful. The way you think and cope with everyday stuff amazes me. You have a lot to give to people around you Pete, they have a lot to gain from you if they just take the time to come close to you. What you're writing here is not useless blabbering. It's something that, like my sis said, takes guts to do. And you got guts. I give you a hug for that...and for many other things. Love you <3

 

[Peterdea]

Wow I realized how much I hate nerds that are being typical just for the sake of being typical. Whewn my brother tries to nerd me out I get angry as **** and then we always end up in an argument. Pretty funny though when I think about it.]

Me and him have aklw… always argued over stupid things, unlike me and my older brother who have been like best friends for years. Or at least up until he met Jye and he started smoking and drinking and everything. I’ve seen a lot more of him lately though. Which is good.

I can’t believe I forgot to do this the last few days. I was out all weekend so fair enough there but Monday Tuesday was just plain forgetting.

Myt cousin has me playing a game on the internet… I think I’m going to get banned on it though for bneing mean to every one of the frew hundred people that play it with Naruto in their name.

Naruto is so gay. It annoys me. How is it good? How do teenagers my age and people above my age enjoy such ****?

It’s horrible and lame and stupid and I don’t lke it. Is stupid. Very stupid. Makes me very angry

Damnit I’m sick of the music from the Godfather. It’s so annoying. It sounds cool maybe the first 30 or so times I heard it then it gets repedative and horrible.

Come to think of it maybe I have heard it over 30 times in the last few days. Ouch.

I want to ewatch saving private ryan again. I am into it T THE moment, and im not in the mood for comedies. I did enjoy /Hotrod though. \The bit with John Farnam in it was great.

I kinda lke his music ill admit. Though I’d get teased to the **** fdor saying that at dschool, I rekn hes talented as.

Theres a lot of mistakes there. Stupid mistakes. Iyt sucks when I make those. Mistakes in how I word things I don’t care about, but spelling errors.

I will watch mallrats tomorrow maybe

If not on Friday morning. I hope its as good as Clerks or Jay and Silent Bob strike back.

Ash and Luke are in **** and im dragged in the middle of some of it. I’m noyt scared but Luke is. I promised Ash I’d help him no matter what happens.

Not a lot fo time so I might not do a hour this time, cant think anyway since I had to do so much earlier today. I’m at a blank.