Re: Big Bertha Thing features

Big Bertha Thing sedan

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Painting showing, so called hands up the pole sedan chair.

Caption;-

A Mandarin in his sedan-chair.

Extract;-

Jostling along is a most motley crowd. Here, for example,

comes the handsomely-decorated chair

of a mandarin who is engaged on state business.

Before him run two attendants armed with whips to clear the way,

and behind them are boys carrying large painted boards

on which is written, "Stand aside!" or "Respectful silence, please!"

From the book

The World and Its People

Asia With Special Reference to British Possessions

Published by Thomas Nelson and Sons 1903

Without Author or Editor Name

© Copyright Tony Lance 1998

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Big Bertha Thing Bertha

First Big Bertha posting was to first aid tent

in OUSA Classical Particle Conf.,

to provide aid and comfort to victims,

who had been set upon by unnamed e-mail thugs.

There was no way to make direct contact,

with shell shocked victim, so we tried Big Bertha.

The trick worked and first victim is well again,

after saying, "At last, a normal man!"

Since then Big Bertha has developed a life of her own

and actually caught some thugs in the act.

First posting consisted of two anecdotes effort and repairs,

from Big Bertha Thing gamma and particle respectively.

Effort was also the last assault rifle shot fired.

Rollover and shotgun below, were the first Big Bertha

sent in anger, with reply to all sender and copy to conf.

Progress and anecdote forward was first cannon shot fired.

Spider and fact(newsletter and readership for astronomy)

was first landmine explosion,

which was not even deployed on OUSA Astronomy.

Big Bertha Thing apology(Rollover)

Please accept my apologies for troubling you.

It will not of course be repeated.

However 3 net surfers have responded

to my call to help out on the Conf., by volunteering.

In emergency situations, needs must.

You and your fellow net surfers number 3, I see.

Net surfers have broad shoulders,

thick skins and I trust, compassion.

Big Bertha Thing shotgun

By way of light relief, a similar general apology,

to the one above, would bring solace and comfort,

to the victims of such well intentioned postings.

Please put it in a Big Bertha and address to conf.

That of course, would be the end of spam.

Tony Lance

judemarie@bigberthathing.co.uk

Big Bertha Thing fusion

What is the cake-mix recipe for a fusion reactor?

1. There is no such thing as a self-sustaining fusion reactor.

2. There is no such thing as cold fusion.

3. That leaves high energy particle physics.

4. With the puffing billy principle of steam engine fame.

5. Take the two-ring medical electron cyclotron as the prototype.

6. Add another ring to it.

7. Dismantle the first two rings.

8. Update it to use a ball-bearing instead of an electron.

9. Add a steam iron.

10. Add an electrostatic charge generator.

11. Add a space satellite ion thruster.

12. Prove the existence of a magnetic field, which is weak at newtonian speeds

and strong at Einsteinian speeds.

13. This was proved by the costermonger in Big Bertha Thing spider.(see below)

14. It is directly proportional to momentum. (Memomagnetism)

15. It was missed, by science in Big Bertha Thing coil.(see below)

16. It was missed, by science in Einstein-Haas.

17. It was proved, by the two-ring medical cyclotron, with two different

electron masses. (Error Margin doubles to 4.4d-08 MeV)

18. Add electrostatic charge to ball-bearing.

19. Accelerate in first ring.

20. Kill charge with ion thruster and move to second ring.

21. Accelerate in second ring.

22. Move to third ring for minor speed adjustments, at near light speed.

23. Add a puff of steam.

24. Put plasma through heat exchangers.

25. Dismantle first two rings.

Big Bertha Thing transit

1. Take two fusion reactors.

2. Add two degauss cages.

3. Add length of High Tension cable.

4. Remove puff technology.

5. Replace mass transit system.

6. The experimental evidence is theological.

7. Bi-location is another one that the theologians got wrong.

8. Teleportation requires a saint, a sick person or both. (non-bio substitute)

9. Each acts as a capacitor, which builds up a charge.

10. Every energy saving light bulb has one.

11. It requires two doors.

12. It does not need a computer, which did not exist for many instances.

Big Bertha Thing orbiter

1. Take three fusion reactors.

2. Remove puff technology.

3. Fix reactors at right angles to each other.

4. Attach to nuclear submarine.

5. Remove propellers.

6. Add space sattelite ion thrusters.

7. Position at trailing point, where Earth travels arround the sun.

8. Take off for Earth orbit.

9. Move round Earth orbit to opposite point.

10. Make landing from Earth orbit.

Big Bertha Thing hyperspace

1. Take four or eight fusion reactors.

2. Arrange like juke-box carrousel.

3. Point at nearest star, off by a degree...

Big Bertha Thing spider

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Drawing of a clockwork spider wheel and hairpin.

Extract from Introductory Chapter;-

The "Spider tops," which are frequently sold in the streets of London,

consist of a heavy little disc mounted on a spindle (Fig. XIV.).

When the disc has been set spinning a small curved piece of

metal is placed to touch the toe, and at once begins to slide round it,

first the side (a) in the figure, and then the side (b),

the motion continuing backwards and forwards till the top comes to rest.

The fact is that the toe is magnetic, and this being the case it is easy

to see that the rolling of the toe on the side of the metal produces

the motion.

From the book

An Elementary Treatment of the Theory of

Spinning Tops and Gyroscopic Motion.

By Harold Crabtree M.A.

Formerly Scholar of Pembroke College, Cambridge

Assistant Master at Charterhouse

Longmans, Green and Co. 1923

First Edition 1909

Second Edition 1914

New Impression 1923

© Copyright Tony Lance 1998

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Big Bertha Thing fact

Anything but a fact, changes the face of twentieth century science.

1. No iron moons and planetary cores.

2. No red shift measure of speed.

3. No Patrick Moore star at 95% the speed of light.

4. Muons arrive on earth.

5. Relativity is like an imaginary number; useful but not real.

6. Einstein-Haas gives a field strength 1/10000th the electric field.

7. Wave particle duality is a field effect.

8. Schroedinger is an approximation.

Who has the wit to check the fact?

Big Bertha Thing coil

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Two drawings of a Gyroscopic Top complete with coil.

Extract from Introductory Chapter;-

The fact is that the toe is magnetic, and this being the case

it is easy to see that the rolling of the toe on the side

of the metal produces the motion. But Figs. XV. (a) and (b)

illustrate a top, whose spindle behaves in exactly the same

manner as the toe of the spider top, and yet is in no way magnetic.

The action is purely mechanical, as we shall explain in later pages.

It is an attractive top to watch, especially as it rushes round

the corner when it comes to the end of the coil.

From the book

An Elementary Treatment of the Theory of

Spinning Tops and Gyroscopic Motion.

By Harold Crabtree M.A.

Formerly Scholar of Pembroke College, Cambridge

Assistant Master at Charterhouse

Longmans, Green and Co. 1923

First Edition 1909

Second Edition 1914

New Impression 1923

© Copyright Tony Lance 1998

Distribute complete and free of charge to comply.

Big Bertha Thing fiction

Anything but a fact, changes the face of twentieth century science.

9. Gyroscopic Top motion along coil masks a weaker field effect.

The Japanese antigravity experiment only worked one way.

With the object spinning one way OK, but the other way failed.

Anything but a fact...

10. One way gravity reduced and other way gravity increased,

so is bi-polar field efftect.

11. No antigravity, which is not bi-polar, so contradicts

bi-polar field effect.

Wave Particle Duality Paradox two slit interference patterns

can be disrupted by;-

1. Passive sensor near 2nd slit.

2. Turning room light on.

Anything but a fact...

12. LCD digital watch, without backlight, near 2nd slit.

13. Thicker wall between slits.

Redshift is both speedometer and tape measure.

According to redshift speedo, the universe has a go faster

stripe painted on the outside.

Anything but a fact...

14. No Big Bang, which needs go faster stripe on the inside

or antigravity.

15. No redshift speedo due to Steady State, which needs

neither to have go faster stripe.

Wave Particle Duality needs 1 slit and 2 slit experiments

to give different results from same effect. Make the walls

inside and outside the slits the same size and centre of

gravity.

Anything but a fact...

16. Centre of gravity is at slit in one, but not the other.

17. Equal forces act on the slit in one, but not the other.

18. Wave Particle Duality as a field effect gives different

results from same effect.