Xblackwidow20X
New member
another poem i wrote. let me know what you think. thanks Reaper of Pain
I feel as if I don’t know what’s real anymore.
How do I know who’s telling the truth?
I feel as if I pretend to be happy but I’m really rotten through to the core.
Too much pain has molded my thoughts to what they are now.
I use to be content with this life, a long time ago.
Then she had to die and now she’s not here to help me get through life and to tell me how.
When she died that night she unwillingly took a part of me with her.
I knew when I saw her take her last breath that I would never be the same.
I wish this pain and these memories would go away from me and that I could finally have my cure.
I cry when no ones around, so I don’t have to tell them why.
Honestly I don’t even know why I break down sometimes.
Why when I think of her all I want to do is scream and cry.
It feels as if I have been torn into pieces by this hate.
I need to get away from this reaper of pain.
He will not make my fate.
I will not let that man destroy me the way he broke her down.
All she wanted was to have a family.
Yet he still beat her and he would go out and **** around.
Everyone I ever trusted has betrayed me somehow or someway.
People that were always suppose to be there are gone now.
I just want to know why she had to die that day.
She was the only one who ever cared what would happen to me.
They all pretend to care but in reality all people care about are themselves.
But she cared if I died or if I felt independent and free.
I need to break these thoughts and throw them out of my life.
I can’t take feeling crazy anymore.
I can’t take anymore strife.
It can go two ways; I either walk away from it all and learn to deal.
Or I make my own fate and make sure I won’t be a burden to anyone else.
Then maybe I will know what the difference is between make believe and what’s real.
Only until that day would come do I know what to do about my insanity.
There is one person who can save me from drowning in despair.
Right now he has all my love, trust and creditability.
He just needs to love me and be there for me when I need a hand to get up from grief.
All I want is nothing but the truth and a little understanding.
Then maybe I can walk away from the past and finally in 22 years of searching I can find my relief.
-Terry O-
