Say what you mean, mean what you say

[atlantic]

I hate bull subliminal messages which are only meant for stupid people. Here is a post where you can say what you mean, and mean what you say..... this should be fun...............

 

[atlantic]

Ok I'll go first. Whenever someone says "Did you get you hair cut to a woman, it usually means you cut it too short, looks like dumbass"

 

[atlantic]

Did you lose weight? = you're fat - you need to

 

[atlantic]

Do you mind if I borrowed that without your consent = Of course I do off & don't do it again

 

[atlantic]

Officer, I had no idea I was going that fast = Hurry up I'm in a hurry

 

[ImWithStupid]

Hey, ______, are you and ______ still dating? means so and so is an ******* or ***** and I can't believe you are still seeing them.

 

[timesjoke]

You can trust me, I'm on the pill.= You have a great job and I want half your income for 18 years.

 

[atlantic]

You can trust me, I'm on the pill.= You have a great job and I want half your income for 18 years.

A very common one - lol

 

[timesjoke]

Man:

I love you = I want *** and will try to forget you exist after I get it.

Woman:

I love you = I think I can control you.

 

[atlantic]

TJ's on a roll - love these

 

[timesjoke]

Cop

Do you know why I stopped you sir? = I am trying to make up my mind if I will screw with you for an extra 30 minutes on the side of the road or write your ticket and let you go quickly, please help me make this decision.........

 

[atlantic]

I don't give a f = Yes you do

 

[atlantic]

The worst: companies who insist their employees say ridiculous things to appease us so we won't notice how long we've been standing in line or on the phone waiting for someone in customer service. For example, I grocery shop at Frys; their latest mandatory statement for all cashiers is "So are you doing anything good this weekend"? . Ok first off I know they don't give a rat's *** about what I'm doing, secondly I have been asked this by every cashier. It is so insincere and makes me feel bad for them. From now on I shall ask them first

 

[timesjoke]

I hear ya, like the recording that says "we are experiencing longer than average wait times, please be patient...."

No their not, this is typical, but they want you to believe they really care about you as a customer.

Hey, for the cashier thing come up with a list of horrible things to reply with like "well I am digging up my septic tank to clean it out, roots have been growing in it, do you want to come over and help??????".

 

[atlantic]

I hear ya, like the recording that says "we are experiencing longer than average wait times, please be patient...."

No their not, this is typical, but they want you to believe they really care about you as a customer.

Hey, for the cashier thing come up with a list of horrible things to reply with like "well I am digging up my septic tank to clean it out, roots have been growing in it, do you want to come over and help??????".

Awesome idea - that would be hilarious

 

[timesjoke]

Awesome idea - that would be hilarious

Finally, someone who likes my humor

 

[atlantic]

Finally, someone who likes my humor

Oh I totally get it; I'm twisted like that

 

[snafu]

I don't care. If you want it go buy it. = Go buy that and I'll beat you with it!

 

[atlantic]

I don't care. If you want it go buy it. = Go buy that and I'll beat you with it!

roflmao Who'd of thought CB could think like that - lol.