sex buddies

[LPHybridSnax]

Well here's the situation.

I've been friends with this girl for about 3 years now, she moved about 5 months ago, but we remained somewhat in contact, like not good enough to visit each other, but still some conversation. She's had a crush on me for over a year now and the other day she send me a message saying she wanted to have sex. I thought she was kidding at first, but a couple hours later I found out she just wanted to be blunt about it. Pretty much she's horny and wants some one she can trust, which I found pretty amusing because she seems so innocent. I see this girl as nothing, but a friend, still it's almost every guys dream to have sex, almost literally, thrown at them, but I have a few problems with it. One, I'm not the kind of guy to go **** some one just so i can feel big and brag to my friends. Two, I don't want a kid, plain and simple. Three, she's a virgin, I don't want to take her virginity like that because although sex isn't a huge deal to me, I know a lot of girls they want their first to be "special". Honestly, I think I almost qualify for being a saint by just considering to tell her that I'm not the right guy, or maybe that's just how all people should be. Any thoughts?

 

[LP~Shinoda~FM]

*pat on the back* You are absolutely right. Tell her to wait for the right person. Don't know how many guys woulda just gone ahead and done it. But good for you

 

[FireHawk]

Well here's the situation.

I've been friends with this girl for about 3 years now, she moved about 5 months ago, but we remained somewhat in contact, like not good enough to visit each other, but still some conversation. She's had a crush on me for over a year now and the other day she send me a message saying she wanted to have sex. I thought she was kidding at first, but a couple hours later I found out she just wanted to be blunt about it. Pretty much she's horny and wants some one she can trust, which I found pretty amusing because she seems so innocent. I see this girl as nothing, but a friend, still it's almost every guys dream to have sex, almost literally, thrown at them, but I have a few problems with it. One, I'm not the kind of guy to go **** some one just so i can feel big and brag to my friends. Two, I don't want a kid, plain and simple. Three, she's a virgin, I don't want to take her virginity like that because although sex isn't a huge deal to me, I know a lot of girls they want their first to be "special". Honestly, I think I almost qualify for being a saint by just considering to tell her that I'm not the right guy, or maybe that's just how all people should be. Any thoughts?

You are a saint to me. I just got out of a similar situation only it was her second time my first having sex She dumped her boyfriend to go out with me but when that didn't work out after that "we messed around" a little bit. Eventually I told her it wasn't right and she needed to get back with her ex (who hates me). She did, and now she is one of my best friends...and her boyfriends wants to kick my ass which will be interesting at post-Prom and her graduation party

You are a good person turning it down so much bad could happen.

 

[Friðbjörn]

if you see her just as a friend, I think sex would complicate that

 

[FireHawk]

if you see her just as a friend, I think sex would complicate that

true but if both you guys understand where you stand (as just friends and only friends for example) I think it will be alright BUT once one of you gets in a real relationship it will be interesting

 

[Friðbjörn]

yeah if you can actually seperate the sex from the friendship

 

[LPHybridSnax]

Okay told her to wait for a "special" guy she loves and all that. She said that, that was really sweet of me to be like that. STILL I'm only human you don't even know how much I want to bang my head against the computer monitor right now because this girl is, putting it simply, HOOOTTTTT as hell!! If I wrote half the things I'm thinking right now it would completely invalidate anything "good" i said. But in time I'll know i did the right thing i guess. Only thing is the way she said it, it was kind of like "aww you're sweet... guess I'll just have to rape you then." or "aww you're sweet.. but we're still going to do it." I hinted to her the other day that she should wait til she's ready and she said that made her want me more. So we'll see what happens I guess.

 

[FireHawk]

Your gonna just have to put her foot down and say you don't want to just have a sexual relationship and you think you guys should just stay friends.

 

[Acezorz]

Just bang her mate.


Hahah nah just kidding I honestly agree with Firehawk here, if you don't want to do it then don't, because either of you might end up regretting it later on in life.

 

[Stenners]

I can tell you that pre-aranged sex buddy wont work, your the choice because the is some sort of emotional bond right? You need to keep all emotional feelings out of it... otherwise it becomes a bit complicated.

 

[woodyloveslinkin]

If you're gonna have a pre-arranged sex buddy, to me, is the same to whoring yourself to your friends. Difference of opinion may occur in what I previously stated.
Virginity is sacred. I wish I hadn't lost mine so early. But at the same time, I'm a self-admitted sex addict, which is so hypocritical.
**** buddy sex is technically emotionless sex. Take me for an example. I was sleeping with my ex, after we had broken up a couple of weeks ago and emotions were still tight, and we ended up getting back together a couple of days ago.
If it is her first time, it sounds like she deliberately wants to get rid of it and I think...depends on her age....she doesn't really appreciate sex for what its worth and she's rushing it on purpose, because 'it's so not cool being a virgin nowadays'.
You're worried about kids? Trust me, I've had let me count .... three pregnancy scares since I was 16 and I'm 19 this year.
But yeah, this is soooooooo generic but soooo worth being repeated, but use protection. Get her to go on the pill (it has it side effects I know that for a fact! grr) AND use a condom. Two things are better than one.
I think its all a bit rushed. You guys are still young (or I presume) and you've got better things other than going around sleeping with each other. You're still young and innocent. Make the most of it.
Just if it does go ahead, don't let it be a kiss-and-tell situation. Had a number of guys do that to me and it pisses me off.

 

[Jeezy]

wow...it takes a lot to turn down a girl like that.

I mean you have all my respect for that.

Just one thing...if she wouldn't be a virgin...would you do it?

I guess you would...

 

[untitled]

you made the right choice if you see her as just a friend
this could ruin your friendship, i'm not saying it would but it's possible
i had the chance to do it also but i also said no, which i still believe was the right decision

 

[LPHybridSnax]

Just one thing...if she wouldn't be a virgin...would you do it?

I guess you would...

that's a good question. Honestly, it probably would help a little, but I'm still not 100% sure unless that's the situation at hand. Another thing is that I'm 17 and she's turning 16 later this year. Not that that's a big deal, but still 15 seems young to me to be having sex. People build up all this hype around it then when you finally do it it's like... that's it? A mildly interesting story?

 

[Clogz]

Okay told her to wait for a "special" guy she loves and all that. She said that, that was really sweet of me to be like that. STILL I'm only human you don't even know how much I want to bang my head against the computer monitor right now because this girl is, putting it simply, HOOOTTTTT as hell!! If I wrote half the things I'm thinking right now it would completely invalidate anything "good" i said. But in time I'll know i did the right thing i guess. Only thing is the way she said it, it was kind of like "aww you're sweet... guess I'll just have to rape you then." or "aww you're sweet.. but we're still going to do it." I hinted to her the other day that she should wait til she's ready and she said that made her want me more. So we'll see what happens I guess.

Run.
There is more to it than just sex, you can have sex with anybody. If sex was all she really wanted, she wouldn't keep pushing the matter after you said no - especially if she is as attractive as you say.
She should have no problem finding someone else.

there is something else going on here besides sex....it may not even be about the sex, scarily enough.

She almost sounds obsessed, which is why I am telling you straight-up: RUN. This could be a stalker in the making, especially if she will not take your 'No' for an awnser:no: .

If she keeps pushing you for sex, tell her you can no longer be friends and burn the bridge.

 

[allieking]

all i can say is your very sensible and thoughtful.most guys would just go get some and wouldn't think twice about her feelings.

 

[untitled]

glad i'm not at all like the guys you just described allie

 

[Sponge]

OK well from what happened to my cousin i can tell that his current girl told me something. She says that, by her experience of being at that age, girls don't really know what they want. They just do things for the hell of it. My cousins ex was 16 and he was 19. They did it but she cheated on him and now she keeps calling my cousin saying sorry and what not. His girl says that girls that young just go out to party.

IDK if this helps...probably not but like the rest of these guy (and ladies too), you should just see her as a friend. Depending on what you want to look at here then do it. Stay friends or get a relationship. If you think she's too young and you tell her no then she is gonna have to respect that. No mean NO!!