G
Gandalf Grey
Guest
Tales of whoa!
By Ed Naha
Created Feb 12 2008 - 9:33am
America went through yet another pallid political punch-out last week, if
these stories clogging my Internetz tubes are any indication.
ROMNEY QUITS RACE - STUNNED POPULACE ASKS "WHO?"
As millions of Americans ignored him, former Massachusetts governor Mitt
Romney dropped out of the Republican presidential race last Thursday, before
an audience gathered at the Conservative Political Action Conference in
Washington. "This is not an easy decision," he stated. "I hate to lose."
Several in the crowd nodded knowingly. "I knew he was a van Gogh man.
Toulouse-Lautrec is highly overrated," said attendee Byron Orlock, before
drifting back off into slumber.
Romney said that, should he continue his race, it would "forestall the
launch of a (Republican) national campaign and be making it easier for
Senator Clinton or Obama to win. In this time of war, I simply cannot let my
campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror."
So, Romney quit.
A staunch conservative on alternate days of the week, Romney's performance
on Stupor Tuesday was disappointing. The former governor won only 175
delegates, a "50% Off" coupon for Jiffy Lube and a toaster at the Lompoc,
California Bake-Off and Raffle fest.
Romney's sudden decision was rumored to have followed an early morning
strategy session with his wife, her divorce lawyer and his five sons who,
after watching their monied father spend over $60 million of the family
fortune, were terrified of having to work for a living.
"If this were only about me," Romney stated, "I'd go on. But it's never been
only about me. I entered this race because I love America, and because I
love America, in this time of war I feel I have to now stand aside for our
party and for our country."
At that point, a staffer accidentally pulled the power chord out of Romney's
back and the would-be candidate lapsed into silence, his face immobile. Most
in the audience assumed that Romney was still in campaign mode.
As the former candidate was placed in a crate and wheeled off the stage,
advisors predicted that Romney would, once again, join the financial sector
where he could still have an effect on the nation, laying off millions of
workers.
As the Romney team left, their campaign theme, "Can't Buy Me Love" echoed
through the conference hall.
Romney's departure immediately sent shockwaves through the conservative
movement, which nobody noticed. Sales of both shellac and magic underwear
plummeted.
In New York's famed Times Square, a huge crowd gathered to watch a mime. "I
usually don't like mimes," summed up Hank Miskowitz. "But this guy's pretty
good."
ROMNEY DEPARTURE PAINS CONSERVATIVES, ROBOTS.
The disappearance of former governor Mitt Romney from the Republican
presidential race has deeply saddened two of Romney's biggest groups of
supporters: die-hard conservatives and robots.
"I'm totally depressed," said Romney booster Mitzi Bland of Wook, Iowa. "I
was definitely behind Mitt. How can you not support a man named 'Mitt?' It
has a nice ring to it. Like 'spit.' I've been a conservative for the last
twenty minutes and, I tell you, I may never vote, again. Or tap dance."
"Big" "Little" Paulie Oregano of Newark, New Jersey, was devastated. "I had
big money on that guy," he sniffed. "What do we lemmings have left? John
McCain? Sure, he's a war hero, but he actually talks to Democrats. He
probably doesn't wear magic underwear, either. It kills me that there are no
flying monkeys in this race. Or something shiny."
Political pundit Rush Limbaugh expressed heartbreak over Romney's decision.
Faced with a McCain nomination he vowed to raise money for Hillary Clinton,
selling off personal memorabilia on the internet. Much of the memorabilia
was collected by his new maid, Rosita DeMule, and comes in several dosages.
Fellow political personality Ann Coulter vowed not to speak in public if
McCain is nominated on the Republican ticket. Reportedly, McCain's campaign
received a hefty $6 million in six seconds following Coulter's declaration.
Conservative Evangelical leader James Dobson vowed not to support McCain
stating that the Arizona senator "often uses foul and obscene language."
Vice President Dick Cheney, hearing that news, smiled: "Is that ****ing
ironic or what?"
Also feeling let down by Romney's departure was America's robotic community.
"We had high hopes for the Mitt model," said Karel Capek, CEO of Rossum's
Universal Robots. "It's very life-like and has a great smile. We may have
gone overboard with the metallic hair but, all in all, Mitt 1.0 projected a
very comfortable retro feel of Americana, very 1950s. He would have made a
great president. He also carried 300 channels, including the entire HBO
package."
Robbie Tobor, president of the grassroots group Mitt's Metalheads, says
Romney will be missed. "Without Mitt in the race, I guess I'll just go to
the convention and kill and maim. My heart won't be in it, though."
Fellow Metalhead C-3PO heaved a sigh. "It's quite sad, really. America has
gotten used to having a President who is totally out of touch with the human
condition. Having a robot in office would have assured that this aspect of
governing would continue. We are all falling to pieces, seeing Mitt go. My
ass dropped off yesterday afternoon. My good friend Hal has been singing the
song 'Daisy,' repeatedly since last Thursday. Not a good sign."
There's also an undercurrent of anger at the Republican establishment in
both camps, probably best summed-up by Romney supporter R2-D2 who declared:
"Bweep bonk bleepy tweet-tweet." (Translation: "McCain for President? ****
that ****.")
Shortly after his utterance, R2-D2 was contacted by representatives of Fox
News, who wish to use his quote as their new slogan.
WOOING CONSERVATIVES, MCCAIN VOWS TO DECLARE WAR ON HIMSELF.
Reaching out to concerned conservatives, apparent Republican frontrunner
Senator John McCain said he was one of them. To prove his point, he vowed,
if elected, to declare war on himself.
"I will fight me over there so I don't have to fight me over here," he told
a somewhat confused CPAC crowd. "The terrorists hate me for my freedom."
After being treated by three dozen paramedics, the disoriented audience
eventually burst into applause.
"You have to admit," said attendee Bruno Aarp, "he's more aggressive than
Bush. I mean, how many presidents would carpet bomb themselves in the name
of spreading democracy?"
Other audience members were cautiously optimistic. "He's clearly bending
over backwards to get our vote," noted Cliff Dweller. "And I worry about him
doing that, at his age."
McCain's new attempt to craft himself into the standard bearer for the
conservative wing won approval by many Republican politicians, including
President George W. Bush and delegate Attila the Hun.
On a related, but sour, note, entertainer John Mellencamp asked that the
McCain campaign stop using his songs "Our Country" and "Pink Houses." An
unidentified McCain spokesman said that they would remove the songs, which
feature lyrics such as "there's room enough here for science to live/And
there's room enough here for religion to forgive" and lines about the
"simple man" paying for "the thrills, the bills and the pills that kill."
"The Senator didn't actually listen to the lyrics," said the spokesman.
"Frankly, it wouldn't have mattered...since he's deaf as a post."
New McCain anthems being considered include "Remember Pearl Harbor," "Sink
the Bismarck," "Eve of Destruction" and "The She's Too Fat For Me Polka."
HUCKABEE VOWS TO FIGHT ON, RAISE MORE DEAD.
Following the departure of Mitt Romney from the Republican race for the
presidency, conservative longshot and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee
vowed to stay in the race and do battle with the more progressive candidate
John McCain.
"As a true authentic, consistent, conservative, I have a vision to bring
hope, opportunity and prosperity to all Americans," Huckabee stated. "My
esteemed opponent, John McCain is a tool of the devil. Anyone voting for him
is doomed to spend eternity suffering in the painful fires of Hell. Either
that or they'll be forced to watch 'Celebrity Rehab' for six hours straight.
That Daniel Baldwin is damned creepy."
Although trailing in both popularity and delegates, Huckabee sees himself
gaining traction. "With the grace of God," he announced, "we will surge in
strength, owing to my having the ability to raise the dead who are still
registered voters. If you thought dead people voted only in Chicago, you are
in for a surprise."
Should Huckabee and McCain enter the Republican convention neck and neck,
the Baptist minister/candidate has a plan. "I'm thinking plagues," he
opined. "Try opposing me if you're covered with boils and inflicted with
lice."
HILLARY CLINTON AGREES TO DEBATES ON FOX, WWE.
Democratic presidential candidate Senator Hillary Clinton has challenged
opponent Senator Barack Obama to a debate a week, agreeing to spar on both
Fox News and World Wrestling Entertainment's "Smackdown."
A spokesman for the Obama campaign politely refused the offer, stating "That
woman's batshit crazy."
Fox's Bill O'Reilly seethed that if Obama refused to appear on Fox, he would
do so "at his own peril." Fox honcho Roger Ailes intoned, "if you can't face
Fox News, then how can you face Al Qaeda?"
"There's a difference?" an Obama spokesperson asked.
With Obama out of the picture, Senator Clinton will appear on Fox, debating
MSNBC's David Shuster. On "Smackdown," she will face wee wrestler
Hornswoggle the Leprechaun in what is being described as a "polite cage
match."
The Senator is also firming up plans for a second appearance on cable's The
Hallmark Channel, debating Wilford Brimley on the subject of oatmeal and
national defense. Meredith Baxter-Birney will moderate.
OBAMA GAINS JIMINY CRICKET, THUMPER RABBIT ENDORSEMENTS.
As Democratic presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama continues to win
both voters and delegates with his optimistic campaign calling for change,
he also continues to pick up endorsements by some of the biggest names in
the nation.
The latest to hop on the Obama bandwagon are American legends Jiminy Cricket
and Thumper Rabbit.
"I like the guy a lot," Cricket said via phone. "He has a real conscience. I
can tell. When Obama talks, his nose never grows. He just makes me want to
wish on a star. I usually don't feel that way when I'm sober."
Thumper Rabbit offered that backing Barack was a no-brainer. "You ever hear
him speak?" the rabbit began. "He makes the whole crowd feel warm and fuzzy.
I mean, he's profound, man. When he says stuff like we are the change we are
waiting for? Blows my mind. It's like boxes within boxes. The thousand
layers of the onion skin. Backing into a rotary fan. Cosmic. Plus, his wife
is hot."
Obama's bevy of endorsements did hit a hitch this week. It was widely
expected that the Seven Dwarfs would also lend their names to the campaign.
Six of them agreed. Grumpy decided to back Ron Paul.
BUSH: THE POWER OF PRAYER HAS HELPED.
Speaking at a breakfast held by the evangelical Fellowship Foundation,
President George W. Bush said that God has helped him get through hard
times.
"I believe in the power of prayer," Bush said at the annual National Prayer
Breakfast. "I have felt it in my own life. It has helped me meet the
challenges of the presidency. I understand now clearly the story of the calm
in the rough seas."
He then threw up on his pancakes.
Later, Bush flew to Tennessee to comfort those hit by a deadly string of
tornadoes, which slammed into that state as well as Alabama, Arkansas,
Kentucky and Mississippi.
"I offer my prayers and pledge this government's resources to help all those
whose lives were devastated by Hurricane Katrina," he told puzzled victims.
When an aide informed Bush that the damage before him was caused by a
twister, the President scratched his head and quipped, "Damn! That game is
rougher than I thought."
U.S. LOWERS STANDARDS: "WE DON'T BEHEAD."
Appearing separately on the Hill, both CIA director General Michael Hayden
and Attorney General Michael Mukasey said that American interrogators had
indeed waterboarded suspected terrorist detainees but that the practice was
legal, "kind of, sort of, maybe."
Said a Department of Justice spokesman, "It is universally known that
waterboarding is considered torture. America doesn't waterboard. We call it
'baptizing heathen bastards.'"
A CIA representative insisted, "America doesn't torture. We don't rape. We
don't sodomize. And, when we do sodomize, calling it something else, we
always send flowers and candy the next day. Our interrogators are very
caring that way."
The CIA also came down heavily on the practice of beheading. "It's a
barbaric practice," a representative stated. "America doesn't
behead...unless the prisoner is really sarcastic."
Unfortunately, most of the above stories are based on fact. Can't wait to
see what happens THIS week.
--
NOTICE: This post contains copyrighted material the use of which has not
always been authorized by the copyright owner. I am making such material
available to advance understanding of
political, human rights, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues. I
believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of such copyrighted material as
provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright
Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107
"A little patience and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their
spells dissolve, and the people recovering their true sight, restore their
government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are
suffering deeply in spirit,
and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public
debt. But if the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have
patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning
back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at
stake."
-Thomas Jefferson
By Ed Naha
Created Feb 12 2008 - 9:33am
America went through yet another pallid political punch-out last week, if
these stories clogging my Internetz tubes are any indication.
ROMNEY QUITS RACE - STUNNED POPULACE ASKS "WHO?"
As millions of Americans ignored him, former Massachusetts governor Mitt
Romney dropped out of the Republican presidential race last Thursday, before
an audience gathered at the Conservative Political Action Conference in
Washington. "This is not an easy decision," he stated. "I hate to lose."
Several in the crowd nodded knowingly. "I knew he was a van Gogh man.
Toulouse-Lautrec is highly overrated," said attendee Byron Orlock, before
drifting back off into slumber.
Romney said that, should he continue his race, it would "forestall the
launch of a (Republican) national campaign and be making it easier for
Senator Clinton or Obama to win. In this time of war, I simply cannot let my
campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror."
So, Romney quit.
A staunch conservative on alternate days of the week, Romney's performance
on Stupor Tuesday was disappointing. The former governor won only 175
delegates, a "50% Off" coupon for Jiffy Lube and a toaster at the Lompoc,
California Bake-Off and Raffle fest.
Romney's sudden decision was rumored to have followed an early morning
strategy session with his wife, her divorce lawyer and his five sons who,
after watching their monied father spend over $60 million of the family
fortune, were terrified of having to work for a living.
"If this were only about me," Romney stated, "I'd go on. But it's never been
only about me. I entered this race because I love America, and because I
love America, in this time of war I feel I have to now stand aside for our
party and for our country."
At that point, a staffer accidentally pulled the power chord out of Romney's
back and the would-be candidate lapsed into silence, his face immobile. Most
in the audience assumed that Romney was still in campaign mode.
As the former candidate was placed in a crate and wheeled off the stage,
advisors predicted that Romney would, once again, join the financial sector
where he could still have an effect on the nation, laying off millions of
workers.
As the Romney team left, their campaign theme, "Can't Buy Me Love" echoed
through the conference hall.
Romney's departure immediately sent shockwaves through the conservative
movement, which nobody noticed. Sales of both shellac and magic underwear
plummeted.
In New York's famed Times Square, a huge crowd gathered to watch a mime. "I
usually don't like mimes," summed up Hank Miskowitz. "But this guy's pretty
good."
ROMNEY DEPARTURE PAINS CONSERVATIVES, ROBOTS.
The disappearance of former governor Mitt Romney from the Republican
presidential race has deeply saddened two of Romney's biggest groups of
supporters: die-hard conservatives and robots.
"I'm totally depressed," said Romney booster Mitzi Bland of Wook, Iowa. "I
was definitely behind Mitt. How can you not support a man named 'Mitt?' It
has a nice ring to it. Like 'spit.' I've been a conservative for the last
twenty minutes and, I tell you, I may never vote, again. Or tap dance."
"Big" "Little" Paulie Oregano of Newark, New Jersey, was devastated. "I had
big money on that guy," he sniffed. "What do we lemmings have left? John
McCain? Sure, he's a war hero, but he actually talks to Democrats. He
probably doesn't wear magic underwear, either. It kills me that there are no
flying monkeys in this race. Or something shiny."
Political pundit Rush Limbaugh expressed heartbreak over Romney's decision.
Faced with a McCain nomination he vowed to raise money for Hillary Clinton,
selling off personal memorabilia on the internet. Much of the memorabilia
was collected by his new maid, Rosita DeMule, and comes in several dosages.
Fellow political personality Ann Coulter vowed not to speak in public if
McCain is nominated on the Republican ticket. Reportedly, McCain's campaign
received a hefty $6 million in six seconds following Coulter's declaration.
Conservative Evangelical leader James Dobson vowed not to support McCain
stating that the Arizona senator "often uses foul and obscene language."
Vice President Dick Cheney, hearing that news, smiled: "Is that ****ing
ironic or what?"
Also feeling let down by Romney's departure was America's robotic community.
"We had high hopes for the Mitt model," said Karel Capek, CEO of Rossum's
Universal Robots. "It's very life-like and has a great smile. We may have
gone overboard with the metallic hair but, all in all, Mitt 1.0 projected a
very comfortable retro feel of Americana, very 1950s. He would have made a
great president. He also carried 300 channels, including the entire HBO
package."
Robbie Tobor, president of the grassroots group Mitt's Metalheads, says
Romney will be missed. "Without Mitt in the race, I guess I'll just go to
the convention and kill and maim. My heart won't be in it, though."
Fellow Metalhead C-3PO heaved a sigh. "It's quite sad, really. America has
gotten used to having a President who is totally out of touch with the human
condition. Having a robot in office would have assured that this aspect of
governing would continue. We are all falling to pieces, seeing Mitt go. My
ass dropped off yesterday afternoon. My good friend Hal has been singing the
song 'Daisy,' repeatedly since last Thursday. Not a good sign."
There's also an undercurrent of anger at the Republican establishment in
both camps, probably best summed-up by Romney supporter R2-D2 who declared:
"Bweep bonk bleepy tweet-tweet." (Translation: "McCain for President? ****
that ****.")
Shortly after his utterance, R2-D2 was contacted by representatives of Fox
News, who wish to use his quote as their new slogan.
WOOING CONSERVATIVES, MCCAIN VOWS TO DECLARE WAR ON HIMSELF.
Reaching out to concerned conservatives, apparent Republican frontrunner
Senator John McCain said he was one of them. To prove his point, he vowed,
if elected, to declare war on himself.
"I will fight me over there so I don't have to fight me over here," he told
a somewhat confused CPAC crowd. "The terrorists hate me for my freedom."
After being treated by three dozen paramedics, the disoriented audience
eventually burst into applause.
"You have to admit," said attendee Bruno Aarp, "he's more aggressive than
Bush. I mean, how many presidents would carpet bomb themselves in the name
of spreading democracy?"
Other audience members were cautiously optimistic. "He's clearly bending
over backwards to get our vote," noted Cliff Dweller. "And I worry about him
doing that, at his age."
McCain's new attempt to craft himself into the standard bearer for the
conservative wing won approval by many Republican politicians, including
President George W. Bush and delegate Attila the Hun.
On a related, but sour, note, entertainer John Mellencamp asked that the
McCain campaign stop using his songs "Our Country" and "Pink Houses." An
unidentified McCain spokesman said that they would remove the songs, which
feature lyrics such as "there's room enough here for science to live/And
there's room enough here for religion to forgive" and lines about the
"simple man" paying for "the thrills, the bills and the pills that kill."
"The Senator didn't actually listen to the lyrics," said the spokesman.
"Frankly, it wouldn't have mattered...since he's deaf as a post."
New McCain anthems being considered include "Remember Pearl Harbor," "Sink
the Bismarck," "Eve of Destruction" and "The She's Too Fat For Me Polka."
HUCKABEE VOWS TO FIGHT ON, RAISE MORE DEAD.
Following the departure of Mitt Romney from the Republican race for the
presidency, conservative longshot and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee
vowed to stay in the race and do battle with the more progressive candidate
John McCain.
"As a true authentic, consistent, conservative, I have a vision to bring
hope, opportunity and prosperity to all Americans," Huckabee stated. "My
esteemed opponent, John McCain is a tool of the devil. Anyone voting for him
is doomed to spend eternity suffering in the painful fires of Hell. Either
that or they'll be forced to watch 'Celebrity Rehab' for six hours straight.
That Daniel Baldwin is damned creepy."
Although trailing in both popularity and delegates, Huckabee sees himself
gaining traction. "With the grace of God," he announced, "we will surge in
strength, owing to my having the ability to raise the dead who are still
registered voters. If you thought dead people voted only in Chicago, you are
in for a surprise."
Should Huckabee and McCain enter the Republican convention neck and neck,
the Baptist minister/candidate has a plan. "I'm thinking plagues," he
opined. "Try opposing me if you're covered with boils and inflicted with
lice."
HILLARY CLINTON AGREES TO DEBATES ON FOX, WWE.
Democratic presidential candidate Senator Hillary Clinton has challenged
opponent Senator Barack Obama to a debate a week, agreeing to spar on both
Fox News and World Wrestling Entertainment's "Smackdown."
A spokesman for the Obama campaign politely refused the offer, stating "That
woman's batshit crazy."
Fox's Bill O'Reilly seethed that if Obama refused to appear on Fox, he would
do so "at his own peril." Fox honcho Roger Ailes intoned, "if you can't face
Fox News, then how can you face Al Qaeda?"
"There's a difference?" an Obama spokesperson asked.
With Obama out of the picture, Senator Clinton will appear on Fox, debating
MSNBC's David Shuster. On "Smackdown," she will face wee wrestler
Hornswoggle the Leprechaun in what is being described as a "polite cage
match."
The Senator is also firming up plans for a second appearance on cable's The
Hallmark Channel, debating Wilford Brimley on the subject of oatmeal and
national defense. Meredith Baxter-Birney will moderate.
OBAMA GAINS JIMINY CRICKET, THUMPER RABBIT ENDORSEMENTS.
As Democratic presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama continues to win
both voters and delegates with his optimistic campaign calling for change,
he also continues to pick up endorsements by some of the biggest names in
the nation.
The latest to hop on the Obama bandwagon are American legends Jiminy Cricket
and Thumper Rabbit.
"I like the guy a lot," Cricket said via phone. "He has a real conscience. I
can tell. When Obama talks, his nose never grows. He just makes me want to
wish on a star. I usually don't feel that way when I'm sober."
Thumper Rabbit offered that backing Barack was a no-brainer. "You ever hear
him speak?" the rabbit began. "He makes the whole crowd feel warm and fuzzy.
I mean, he's profound, man. When he says stuff like we are the change we are
waiting for? Blows my mind. It's like boxes within boxes. The thousand
layers of the onion skin. Backing into a rotary fan. Cosmic. Plus, his wife
is hot."
Obama's bevy of endorsements did hit a hitch this week. It was widely
expected that the Seven Dwarfs would also lend their names to the campaign.
Six of them agreed. Grumpy decided to back Ron Paul.
BUSH: THE POWER OF PRAYER HAS HELPED.
Speaking at a breakfast held by the evangelical Fellowship Foundation,
President George W. Bush said that God has helped him get through hard
times.
"I believe in the power of prayer," Bush said at the annual National Prayer
Breakfast. "I have felt it in my own life. It has helped me meet the
challenges of the presidency. I understand now clearly the story of the calm
in the rough seas."
He then threw up on his pancakes.
Later, Bush flew to Tennessee to comfort those hit by a deadly string of
tornadoes, which slammed into that state as well as Alabama, Arkansas,
Kentucky and Mississippi.
"I offer my prayers and pledge this government's resources to help all those
whose lives were devastated by Hurricane Katrina," he told puzzled victims.
When an aide informed Bush that the damage before him was caused by a
twister, the President scratched his head and quipped, "Damn! That game is
rougher than I thought."
U.S. LOWERS STANDARDS: "WE DON'T BEHEAD."
Appearing separately on the Hill, both CIA director General Michael Hayden
and Attorney General Michael Mukasey said that American interrogators had
indeed waterboarded suspected terrorist detainees but that the practice was
legal, "kind of, sort of, maybe."
Said a Department of Justice spokesman, "It is universally known that
waterboarding is considered torture. America doesn't waterboard. We call it
'baptizing heathen bastards.'"
A CIA representative insisted, "America doesn't torture. We don't rape. We
don't sodomize. And, when we do sodomize, calling it something else, we
always send flowers and candy the next day. Our interrogators are very
caring that way."
The CIA also came down heavily on the practice of beheading. "It's a
barbaric practice," a representative stated. "America doesn't
behead...unless the prisoner is really sarcastic."
Unfortunately, most of the above stories are based on fact. Can't wait to
see what happens THIS week.
--
NOTICE: This post contains copyrighted material the use of which has not
always been authorized by the copyright owner. I am making such material
available to advance understanding of
political, human rights, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues. I
believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of such copyrighted material as
provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright
Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107
"A little patience and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their
spells dissolve, and the people recovering their true sight, restore their
government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are
suffering deeply in spirit,
and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public
debt. But if the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have
patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning
back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at
stake."
-Thomas Jefferson