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Not sure if you have a jokes page, if so, tack this one onto it phreakwars.

An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Australian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."

The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence. The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"

Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't.In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."

The Australian then asked, "Do you have *** in the States?"

The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do."

The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course."

Now it was the Australian's turn to smile.

"We don't. In Australia,we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States.

Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"

 

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A description of governments.

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named

 

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The Smart Blonde

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute

blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You Know,"

he says, "I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike a up

a conversation with your fellow passenger. So lets talk. "

The blonde who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says

to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know'. how about nuclear energy?"

"OK" she says. "That could be an interesting topic, but first may I

ask you a question?

A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff. Grass.

Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out flat patties

and the horse produces muffin shaped ****. Why do you suppose that is? "

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't got a clue."

"So tell me" she says, "how is it you feel qualified to discuss nuclear energy when you don't know ****?

 
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