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What NOT to say on first dates


cool_dude

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"do you like it in the ass?"

 

"it's not contagious"

 

"you got any heroin?"

 

"i gotta shit"

 

"pull my finger"

 

"i love you"

 

"i live with my parents"

 

"you ever heard of slim fast?"

 

"i jack-off at least 6 times a day"

 

"will you pop this for me?"

 

"i logon to bestdamngeneralforum.com every day"

 

"sucksbbs rocks"

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"This place may be bombed and we will be killed.

We love death. The US loves life.

That is the big difference between us."

 

Osama Bin Laden. nov. 2001

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Nice way of skipping a whole night of sitting in a restaraunt listening to her yap about what she did today starting from how she got up.

 

Just getting right to the point!

 

Good point. But I fall into the proverbial "nice guy" genre. :o

"I wish I was in Tijuana, eating barbecued iguana." - Wall of Voodoo

 

http://www.sucksbbs.net/data/MetaMirrorCache/fb910e0baa5b4e108ffee98f66cdb3cc.gif

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Are you as horny as your sister?

 

Do you mind if I smoke crack?

 

Are you wealthy beyond my dreams?

 

Do you swallow?

 

Have you had all of your shots?

 

If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you let me fuck it?

 

If I nod off, It's not that I find you uninteresting, it's just that I'm interested in only one thing.

 

Wake me up when you are ready to screw.

 

Darling, I have no interest in your problems.

Persevere,

it pisses people off.

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My last test came back negative, how about yours? :eek:

 

 

Yeah...it looks bad, but the doctor says it's completely harmless. :eek:

 

 

Damn, my buddy Kyle said you were a hot fuck, he must have low expectations. :eek:

 

 

Oh...Yeah...Baby...Yes...Oooooo...Huh?...Hey!...your...umm...ass...umm...umm...feels...umm...really loose!?!...WTF woman? :eek:

.

 

I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much "religion" in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness.

 

 

 

 

:eek: WE'VE SPENT HOW MUCH IN IRAQ? :eek:

 

www.costofwar.com - http://icasualties.org/oif/ - http://iraqbodycount.net/

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Are your lips pumped up?

 

Show me your tits.

 

How's your weight-watchers program going?

 

Can I ask a personal question? What is your kinkiest fantasy? Don't tell me, uuuuum it's you and your best friend giving me head? Am I right?

Persevere,

it pisses people off.

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"I used to be in a band with backstreet boys."

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

"I'm currently enrolled in a blue mans group"

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

"I own a company 'Virgin' " <== There actually is a company like that !

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be penetrated?" :eek:

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-I use to have Aids, but that was before my last clone.

 

-You want to go hang out at a StarTrek Party?

 

-Would you ever try a threeway with dorfs? If so can I film it?

 

-I expect breakfast in the morning. So let me sleep!

 

-Do you like debate forums?

.
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-I use to have Aids, but that was before my last clone.

 

-You want to go hang out at a StarTrek Party?

 

-Would you ever try a threeway with dorfs? If so can I film it?

 

-I expect breakfast in the morning. So let me sleep!

 

-Do you like debate forums?

 

You'd be better off just not opening your mouth on a date at all. That's your only hope.

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