I was meaning on a mental level Ali.
So was I. I think saying this lifestyle is "unhealthy" is an unfair statement. Some people are more open to alternative possibilities than simply accepting what is fed to us as "traditionally acceptable". I don't think someone who is willing to explore these options should be labeled unhealthy if all parties involved are grown, consenting adults.
Insecurity blossoms easily and without logic many times. Even though two people may say they are okay with this kind of thing, ther must be thoughts, there must be doubts, I just can't see a relationship based on the ability to sleep around as being healthy if there is love involved. Sure, if all you see as marriage is a non-committed partnership then maybe I can see people being able to let their partner sleep around without it bothering them but love.....No, I can't.
That's your definition of love. That doesn't make it the accepted standard for everyone. My idea of love is different.
Either I am the only one for my mate or I'm not, if my mate feels the need to sleep around, then she cannot love me, not really.
If she allows you that freedom, perhaps she loves you so much that she accepts that you are a human being with normal desires and urges. Perhaps that's her way of saying, "You know...I appreciate all that you do for me and I trust you never to leave me or what we have together, therefore I am comfortable with you having an allotted time of sexual freedom that doesn't have to involve me."
To be that selfless requires a great deal of love, so to claim that two people who agree to this arrangement don't really love one another is simply your opinion. Others might say that's a very loving relationship.
I do not agree, the person must be feeling a lack of something to go looking for it, why look for a thing you already have? This is why I do not think this kind of relationship is possible where real love is involved because if you truly love someone why would you want them sleeping around with other people?
It's a lot of pressure to be someone else's "everything". Perhaps that's why our current divorce rate is so high....and growing?
As I said before, there are many ways to get a disease that a condom cannot help you with and what if the condom breaks? They do break sometimes. There would always be the risk of taking disease home to your partner if you slept around with other people......The risks are just too large to take in my opinion.
PS- Oh, if the condom breaks, and a child is created.....then what?
This all sounds a lot like Russian Roulette to me, keep pulling the trigger until something bad happens......not for me.
Every day is a risk. Driving my car is a risk. Talking on my cell phone is a risk. Walking outside to get the mail is a risk. As long as both partners understand there are risks, what they entail, and are prepared to take responsibility for any potential problems that may arise.....let it be.
I guess if it works for some...who am I to judge. I just can't see any longevity there...but to each their own.
Possibly not, but I know a lot of faithful couples whose relationships have crumbled, too.
Em, I have been cheated on so many times it's ridiculous. I just don't believe the odds of finding a faithful partner are very good, and since I'm the experimental type I think this is something that could work well for me! I figure it's going to happen anyway, why not circumvent the hurt that inevitably results from being betrayed and find a solution that both parties can agree on? Plus...frankly....I like to ***.
I have no problem with the separate vacation thing... it's the ******** around that bothers me. I know I couldn't handle it, because I already can't
Awww, merc...I know! I've been there. You went into your marriage vowing to remain faithful, and I did, too! I kept my vows diligently and it sucks when the person you took them with sh!ts all over them and you're left cleaning up the mess. It's heartbreaking!
It's difficult for me to explain where I'm coming from. I know this philosophy is a turn off to many, but for me it just makes a lot of sense because it would help alleviate those doubts and insecurities.
Like I said, this isn't something for everyone, but I think it's definitely an option that would work for me.
