Lethalfind Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 LOOOOL. I just found the most stupid and funniest verses in the bible. Girls be warned! This may come as a suprise. Bring on ZE LEVITICUS! "When a woman has her menstrual flow, she shall be in a state of impurity for seven days. Anyone who touches her shall be unclean until evening. 20 Anything on which she lies or sits during her impurity shall be unclean. 21 Anyone who touches her bed shall wash his garments, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. 22 Whoever touches any article of furniture on which she was sitting, shall wash his garments, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. 23 But if she is on the bed or on the seat when he touches it, he shall be unclean until evening. 24 If a man dares to lie with her, he contracts her impurity and shall be unclean for seven days; every bed on which he then lies also becomes unclean. 25 "When a woman is afflicted with a flow of blood for several days outside her menstrual period, or when her flow continues beyond the ordinary period, as long as she suffers this unclean flow she shall be unclean, just as during her menstrual period. 26 Any bed on which she lies during such a flow becomes unclean, as it would during her menstruation, and any article of furniture on which she sits becomes unclean just as during her menstruation. 27 Anyone who touches them becomes unclean; he shall wash his garments, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. 28 "If she becomes freed from her affliction, she shall wait seven days, and only then is she to be purified. 29 On the eighth day she shall take two turtledoves or two pigeons and bring them to the priest at the entrance of the meeting tent. 30 The priest shall offer up one of them as a sin offering and the other as a holocaust. Thus shall the priest make atonement before the LORD for her unclean flow. Sheesh. And I thought I was oppressed. I agree with you AIG, complete and total bullox... I know this was quoted correctly because I have read it myself, reading the entire book makes it NO better...The problem with Christians today is when they say they take the bible literally...they SAY that, but in practice they don't...Just in case you wondered AIG, women who are having their periods are not in fact treated that way...so therefore these bible thumpers are not taking the bible literally. IF you take the ENTIRE bible literally...then you would have to follow these stupid rules as well as the more convenient ones... Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 I agree with you AIG, complete and total bullox... I know this was quoted correctly because I have read it myself, reading the entire book makes it NO better...The problem with Christians today is when they say they take the bible literally...they SAY that, but in practice they don't...Just in case you wondered AIG, women who are having their periods are not in fact treated that way...so therefore these bible thumpers are not taking the bible literally. IF you take the ENTIRE bible literally...then you would have to follow these stupid rules as well as the more convenient ones... These are JEWISH laws ... unless you think Judaism and Christianity are one and the same, they are not Christian laws. At any rate, no one really cares what you believe, as long as you don't believe that I need to die and then act upon that belief. Quote The first amendment provides our constitution with its voice. The second amendment provides its teeth.
Lethalfind Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 These are JEWISH laws ... unless you think Judaism and Christianity are one and the same, they are not Christian laws. At any rate, no one really cares what you believe, as long as you don't believe that I need to die and then act upon that belief. They are in the Bible and many Christian religions today CLAIM to follow the bible literally... Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
Mohammed_Rots_In_Hell Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 They are in the Bible and many Christian religions today CLAIM to follow the bible literally... Well, you slobber-cunted bitches get neurotic as hell when you get on the rag... It seems that there's a whole lot of truth in these rules after all! Quote The first amendment provides our constitution with its voice. The second amendment provides its teeth.
Lethalfind Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Well, you slobber-cunted bitches get neurotic as hell when you get on the rag... It seems that there's a whole lot of truth in these rules after all! SO I assume your saying we should take the bible literally??? Did you know there is mention of Unicorns in the bible and men doing the dishes AND it intructs us to turn the other cheek in one place and eye for an eye in another??? The bible is full of bullshit... Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
ParasiteGod Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 22 Whoever touches any article of furniture on which she was sitting, shall wash his garments, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. Bathe in water, as opposed to acid? Quote I want to report a double murder. If you go one mile east on Columbus Parkway to the public park, you will find kids in a brown car. They were shot with a 9mm Luger. I also killed those kids last year. Good bye Brooks, I like you. Now get out of here. Go home.
hugo Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Glad I'm Ghoombahnian. I am currently celebrating one of 186 Ghoombahnian holidays by imbibing in the fermented crops of the field, Praise Goombah! Quote The power to do good is also the power to do harm. - Milton Friedman "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." - James Madison
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