What is happening to our girls?

[Feckless Wench]

Teens not wanting to use protection cannot be blamed on religion as your trying to do, clearly they know what causes the spread of disease, and they know what causes pregnancy, if anything they are too relaxed about sex to bother to take precautions.

 

 

I don't see anywhere that I SAID it was religion that was to blame, I only threw it in as a possibility. As I have little interest in organised religion it never even crossed my mind that some religions outlaw contraception. Athough now you mention it I believe the Catholic faith does just that. Is there a large Catholic presence in the USA?

 

Maybe it's the 'It won't happen to me' mentality that seems to infest the teens of developed countries that is mostly to blame....along with the knowledge that 'Nothing is ever truly their fault' and that 'they must have been led astray'

[timesjoke]

Open discussion is best as far as I can see. Make something accessible and it loses its mystery (and in the process its magnetism). Sex ed over here covers the mechanics up to age 11 and then goes on to discuss all of the surrounding stuff.

 

We do about the same here, we don't get into talking aobut things like oral sex or anything but a real effert is made to make sure that kids know the reality of sex, not just some hyped up version spread by kids or scare tactics by uptight old people.

 

 

It's the same with drugs...over here we teach kids...'Sure it'll make you feel good, but it might equally well kill you....and don't think just because you survived unscathed the first time you try it that it'll be the same the next time'.

 

I think all kids can have the superman mentality though, not just American kids. Everything i am reading shows that the only real difference between America and some other Countries with lower problems is contraception use.

 

What age are the grades over there? We use a different system here and I always get confused.

 

Age 5 is about the start with 12 grades, making the kids end up at 17 or 19 when they go to college.

[wez]

I don't see anywhere that I SAID it was religion that was to blame, I only threw it in as a possibility. As I have little interest in organised religion it never even crossed my mind that some religions outlaw contraception. Athough now you mention it I believe the Catholic faith does just that. Is there a large Catholic presence in the USA?

 

Maybe it's the 'It won't happen to me' mentality that seems to infest the teens of developed countries that is mostly to blame....along with the knowledge that 'Nothing is ever truly their fault' and that 'they must have been led astray'

 

 

We got Cathoilics up the ass.. Matter of fact, my first girlfiend was one and came from a very catholic upbringing being the youngest of 10 kids.. She was quite the nympho minx and an alcoholic by age 17.. Hahahaha

 

She was crazy.. musta been the red hair fecky

 

 

She also pulled many a scheme and went to get on birth control to "regulate" her period.. yay me. I got plenty of sex ed after that.. several times a day in fact.

 

 

Got a bit worried when I figured out she was actually trying to have me get her pregnant in high school.. Yikes! She was something else.. all these years later after a hubby and 3 kids she still gives me the eyes when our paths cross.. Her best friend told me not long ago.. "Ya know, maggie still talks about you all the time". I was quite the lover apparently.. Hahaha

[Feckless Wench]

Everything i am reading shows that the only real difference between America and some other Countries with lower problems is contraception use.

 

 

So where does that come from? How available are contraceptives to kids...and it has to be condoms or other barrier methods because the birth control pill won't save them from anything. Can a kid walk into a drugstore and buy contraceptives without embarrassment or question? Are they sold in the Grocery stores for people to purchase with their weekly food shop?

 

Where are the vending machines? Are they places that kids can buy them without embarrassment? Kids may be willing to have sex but they sure as heck get red faced if anyone thinks they are actually getting prepared for the act....and not being able to get prepared isn't going to stop them doing it.

[timesjoke]

So where does that come from? How available are contraceptives to kids...and it has to be condoms or other barrier methods because the birth control pill won't save them from anything. Can a kid walk into a drugstore and buy contraceptives without embarrassment or question? Are they sold in the Grocery stores for people to purchase with their weekly food shop?

 

Where are the vending machines? Are they places that kids can buy them without embarrassment? They may ne willing to have sex but they sure as heck get red faced if anyone thinks they are actually getting prepared for the act.

 

Almost every State has free state run clinics that give free condoms away without asking many questions. Just about every department store and drug store sells all kinds of condoms and devote a full section, 4 to 8 feet wide, to these products. Many restrooms have vending machines and you can even buy them on the internet delivered in plain packages so nobody knows what your getting.

 

Many schools even give out free condoms to the highschool kids, there is no barrier of any kind to kids getting condoms if they truly want them.

 

 

So, it comes down to their attitude tword using protection, not availability, and to be honest, I am not sure why our kids have such bad attitudes, somehow they feel either bullet proof or maybe they are more self destructive here. I don't know about Europe but we have a serious problem with parents paying attention to their kids here, being a single parent is the norm, not the exception and a single mother does not have much time for giving their kids the attention they need.

[Feckless Wench]

Well, I guess you can't get much more accessible than that. What would be the reaction of the average parent who found condoms in their teen's room though? To be honest, I've bought them for both of my boys and just left them in their rooms since they were about 14.

[timesjoke]

Well, I guess you can't get much more accessible than that. What would be the reaction of the average parent who found condoms in their teen's room though? To be honest, I've bought them for both of my boys and just left them in their rooms since they were about 14.

 

Most parents could care less what they found in their kids rooms, assuming they even went in their rooms.

 

I did the same for my oldest son, I did not just leave them but I told him that if he felt that he was man enough to have sex, then he needed to be man enough to take responsibility for his actions and use protection. He is 18 now and is already on delayed entry to be a Marine.

 

So far no babies, I have always pushed a life of taking responsibility for your actions as well as religious based values and he is turning into a very strong man in both morals and self-respect.

[Feckless Wench]

Religious based values vary enormously from religion to religion though, I am assuming you mean the Bible's version? I may not be Christian, nor are my kids, but it doesn't mean that they aren't decent human beings with their own morals and values.

[timesjoke]

Religious based values vary enormously from religion to religion though, I am assuming you mean the Bible's version?

 

They don't vary that much, stealing, killing, raping, dishonesty, irresponsibility, etc, are all seen as bad things under almost every religion. My own beliefs run close to Christian "norms" but with certain exceptions but the main difference between religious based morals and non-religious based morals is religious based morals are not adjusted by popularity.

 

 

Take crime for example, stealing is always wrong under almost all religions but people without strong religious convictions steal all the time. Everyting from taking office supplies from work to juries giving insane awards in lawsuits is all stealing but they make up justifications for their actions to "feel" like what they have done is okay.

 

 

Today killing an innocent life is considered okay because popular trend makes it so, but in reality a world where a baby is not safe in it's mother's womb is a very sad world indeed. I don't want to get into the abortion debate in this thread but it is just another example of how society can change and allow things once thought unthinkable suddenly become acceptable and without some kind of solid ground, where will these flexable morals take us in a few more years?

 

 

Is 1.2 million abortions in America alone each year enough to tell us we have a problem? Is 1 in 4 teen girls having a STD enough to tell us we have a problem? How about the average pregnancy happening to women who are not married? How about the average child not having a father in the home? How about juvinile crime being higher every year?

 

When do we admit that things are not moving in a good direction?

[Feckless Wench]

I think we've all admitted it if we are totally honest with ourselves.

[timesjoke]

I think we've all admitted it if we are totally honest with ourselves.

 

 

Not really, we don't truly admit there is a problem until we take actions to fix the problem. It is like having a messy kitchen, you don't fully accept the reality of the mess until your cleaning it. As long as your avoiding the cleaning, the mess is still theory and concept, not reality.

[Feckless Wench]

Ah, but what about those times that you simply don't have time to clean the mess right then? My kids may have trashed my house during the day, but when I get home from work and have 30 mins to do stuff before disappearing out of the door for whatever reason, I simply don't have the time to deal with the mess. I know the mess is there so it's certainly real, I feel pressured to clean it NOW, because it annoys me....BUT ...life doesn't allow me to do it NOW! It'll get done though, just as soon as I DO have the time.

 

Avoiding on purpose and not having the time right now seem to me to be different things.

[timesjoke]

Ah, but what about those times that you simply don't have time to clean the mess right then? My kids may have trashed my house during the day, but when I get home from work and have 30 mins to do stuff before disappearing out of the door for whatever reason, I simply don't have the time to deal with the mess. I know the mess is there so it's certainly real, I feel pressured to clean it NOW, because it annoys me....BUT ...life doesn't allow me to do it NOW! It'll get done though, just as soon as I DO have the time.

 

Avoiding on purpose and not having the time right now seem to me to be different things.

 

Do we not still have the choice?

 

Your pressing issue to run off in 30 minutes is still an option, you can decide that the mess has a higher priority than leaving.

 

 

Putting off a needed chore will in most cases make the situation worse. You kids can add even more mess after you leave increasing the work needed to get the kitchen back into order and this is what is happening with society today.

 

While everyone is all talking about how their too busy to act, the mess is getting worse and worse and will be harder and harder to "clean" as time goes by.

 

And our girls are paying the price for our refusal to act.

[Feckless Wench]

When the pressing issue pays the mortgage it isn't so much of a choice.

[wez]

I'm not really sure what we can do.. I don't think it's quite accurate to put this all on the girls. They arent having sex with themselves and getting STD's..

 

 

Like I've said many times, children are merely a reflection of the adults. Address the problem at the source if you want to change things. "Do as I say, not as I do" is the biggest joke there is..

[timesjoke]

When the pressing issue pays the mortgage it isn't so much of a choice.

 

Well I doubt anyone works 23.5 hours a day only giving you 30 minutes for sleeping and cleaning and this is my point, there is always time for the things that are important, but it is up to each of us to decide what things are important.

 

 

My dad has a saying I love: "If you didn't have time to do it right the first time, what makes you think your gonna have time to do it right later?"

 

 

Let's offer a better example that better shows what is happening to our girls:

 

Your house develops a tiny leak in the roof.

 

You are busy and don't have much money so you put off fixing the leak. As time goes by the leak slowly gets worse but is not creating any real visible problem to your daily life, the stain is in an unused section of the house and you have more important things to worry about. The leak starts getting very bad and your using pans to catch water during rainy days but again, you know there is a problem but other things are more important right now, you will get to it one day......

 

Then the neglected roof with it's rotten wood collapses into the home, taking with it many other items that were previously okay, maybe there is even a loved one who get's harmed by the falling roof.

 

While this is bad the next thing that happens is the insurance company inspects the damage and denies the claim because the owner ignored the leak problem that resulted in the damage.

 

 

Now your responsible for a mortgage payment on a home you can't live in and cannot afford to fix, you don't have the money to get an appartment and you have to impose on a friend or family member so your kids can have a dry place to sleep.

 

 

One thing leads to another and if were too busy to fix our problem with our girls now, when will we have the time and how much worse will it get before we get around to it?

[wez]

What is it you propose to fix our "girl problem", TJ?

 

 

We could always bring the chastity belt back and give men the keys...

[timesjoke]

 

 

We could always bring the chastity belt back and give men the keys...

 

1,500 posts of garbage like this is why nobody takes you seriously Wez.

[Ahhlee]

One thing I've noticed in my area is that kids don't have to work part-time jobs anymore. Many of their parents are divorced and it seems to me that mommy and daddy are so busy playing "I feel guilty for breaking up our family, so let me make it up to you by buying you whatever you want" that the kids have all the luxeries without doing any work.

 

At the parking lot of the school is you can definitely see the distinguishing line between the teacher's vehicles and the student's - the students are the ones driving brand spanking new cars and trucks. I don't know about you, but I'm not aware of any after school job that allows a 16 year old boy to afford a $35,000 truck.

 

Since mom and dad are working so hard to foot the bill for their precious babies, the babies are feeling ignored. They don't have jobs to keep them preoccupied and they don't have to put any effort into their school work because if they aren't doing well it's the teacher's fault, not theirs. The parents chew out the faculty for their kid's poor grades, not the kids.

 

So these kids have nothing better to do with their time than drive around, discover drugs and alcohol, play video games, meet predators online, bully each other and screw.

 

If I could change anything, it would be for society to impress personal responsibility and accountability upon its citizens again.

[timesjoke]

If I could change anything, it would be for society to impress personal responsibility and accountability upon its citizens again.

 

Now that was a mouthful.

 

I agree, responsibility and accountability need to be reinstated into all people's lives, now the next question, a much more difficult question this time:

 

How do we make that happen?

[wez]

Well said Ali... I think you hit the nail on the head.

 

 

Kinda like the government is now telling people, "it's not your fault you spent more than you will make in 10 lifetimes, here, let me help you with your mortgage."...

 

 

It pisses me off to no end to know I scrimped and saved and lived in a mobile home within my means to do this only to have someone take my money and give it to irresponsible idiots.

 

 

Coddling morons will get us nowhere but where we are.

[Ahhlee]

Now that was a mouthful.

 

I agree, responsibility and accountability need to be reinstated into all people's lives, now the next question, a much more difficult question this time:

 

How do we make that happen?

 

That IS a difficult question.

 

I believe that kids should receive an open and honest education about sex. One thing we need to realize is there are very few kids over the age of 11-12 years old in this country who don't have a basic understanding of sex and haven't been taught that using a condom is one way to help prevent unwanted pregnancies and std's. They know this and while condoms are readily available at everyplace from the local drug store to Wal-Mart, they CHOOSE not to use them. They CHOOSE to have unprotected sex.

 

Why? When preventative resources are so readily available, why do they avoid them? That's what I'd like to know. What is making these kids think that they are above the basic laws of biology and physiology?

[eddo]

They CHOOSE to have unprotected sex.

Why? When preventative resources are so readily available, why do they avoid them? That's what I'd like to know. What is making these kids think that they are above the basic laws of biology and physiology?

 

It all goes back to the whole "it can't happen to me" mentality that comes from a lack of kids today having to be personally responsible for their actions...

 

It comes from a generation of parents that would rather drug their kids into being good kids instead of actually parenting them. I know some kids genuinely need medication, but I think they are grossly over prescribed and over relied on.

 

It comes from the deterioration of the moral fiber like timejoke talks about. Without a constant and absolute difference between right and wrong being taught to our kids, they have no guide to judge their decisions by.

 

Parents have to step up and start being parents, not BFF's.

[ImWithStupid]

It all goes back to the whole "it can't happen to me" mentality that comes from a lack of kids today having to be personally responsible for their actions...

 

It comes from a generation of parents that would rather drug their kids into being good kids instead of actually parenting them. I know some kids genuinely need medication, but I think they are grossly over prescribed and over relied on.

 

It comes from the deterioration of the moral fiber like timejoke talks about. Without a constant and absolute difference between right and wrong being taught to our kids, they have no guide to judge their decisions by.

 

Parents have to step up and start being parents, not BFF's.

 

I agree with most of this and I will add that although condoms are available at drug stores and discount stores and such, most teens are still too embarrassed to buy them.

 

I remember when I was in high school, I really didn't care what the clerk thought, I would buy anything. I had no problem running into the store and picking up femanin products for my sister, let alone condoms. I used to have all kinds of guys in my high school wanting me to go into stores to buy the condoms for them.

 

When I talk to teens about this now, I tell them that if they are embarassed to buy condoms because of the direct contact with the clerk, that they should try to use the "self checkout" at stores like Wal-Mart that have this feature. Most of them are like, "Hey, I never thought of that".

[Guest wendy]

Hi, dear guys, it's really my first time to post on a foreign forum!

i am so excited. Anyway, i like to air my views here, and i need ur support!Thanks!

As you've talked the shouldn't-have-happened things to girls nowadays, i'd like to share with u my opinions. i am now in china, which is said to be a rather traditional country, and i can also see the same happenings here! Girls have changed!

i am also confused! what's appalling is that some girls take it funny to go to the hospital to get abortion! OMG!