RoyalOrleans Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 After nearly twenty and four years of smoking cigarettes, I am giving up the habit. I must've started by stealing my father's cig butts in the ashtray and sneaking outside to finish them off. I thought that the smoking made me look cool, older, and sophisticated... well it did! Above all the obvious reasons, I am quitting because I can't stand the obligation of smoking day to day and week to week. Buying a carton here and a pack there, knowing and looking forward to lighting up as soon as I step outside or after a meal or after a good shit for that matter. No longer will I be a slave to the weakness of my character. I haven't formally quit, but I have cut way the hell back. Normally by two o'clock in the afternoon I have had about eight cigarettes and will have three to five more in the evening. Now I have cut down to three a day and they will always follow a meal. Eventually, I will dwindle that down to one a day and finally zero a day. What do I do for cravings? They are tough... I am fighting a craving right now. I've been chewing on toothpicks, coffee stirrers, and bubble gum. Most of all, spitting and munching sunflower seeds has helped. If I had the opportunity to perform cunnilingus on a hottie, that would most defiinitely help thwart the Black Nipple of Nicotine. Why am I posting this in the Off Topic Forum forum? Easy. As I stated above, I no longer desire to be thrall to tobacco. That said, I am stopping out of sheer spite of anyone who has told me, preached to me, or complained to me about my smoking habits and the effects that it has on my health. God-motherfucking-dammit... they were right. So far, physically, I feel great! I've always been in great shape, because of my job, but this morning I felt I could push-mower cut thirty lawns. I even did pullups for the first time since Basic Training. So to all you smoking kiddies out there, huff and puff away until you turn 36 and give it up. Save the money that you would spend on cigarettes and start an emu farm or something. 1 Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
OmegaManiac Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Good for you bro. Myself on the other hand well it is most imperative that i continue to smoke. Heres why. If I stop smoking I will become even more healthy than I already am. this would lead to me having more energy to do things that would probably get me into trouble.(that would be bad). Also it is important that the majority of my cash go to the cig manufacturers, otherwise I would have all of that extra cash just laying around and we all know that it would also be used to purchase things that would undoubtedly get me into trouble. So my advice to you ROY is to take thisopportunity to save yourself lots of pain in the future by either simply throwing your money in the trash or giving it to some crack head that will surely put it to a most responsible use. Quote
Jhony5 Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 When the hell is smoking going to be cool again? Ya know, that whole retro thing? I hate myself for smoking. I'm gonna be so fucking pissed when I get told of the advanced pulmonary disease and emphysema I have bought myself to the tune of about $1500 annually. Whats really sad? I'm smoking right now, and I love it. MMMMMM that sweet country smoke. Quote i am sofa king we todd did.
ParasiteGod Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Haven't totally quit but you're down from 13 to 3? That's great! My mom quit coffee and cigarettes at the same time. Needless to say it was hell for her and everyone around her. She's always munching sunflower seeds too. Keep it up^^ Quote I want to report a double murder. If you go one mile east on Columbus Parkway to the public park, you will find kids in a brown car. They were shot with a 9mm Luger. I also killed those kids last year. Good bye Brooks, I like you. Now get out of here. Go home.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 20, 2006 Author Posted August 20, 2006 When the hell is smoking going to be cool again? Ya know, that whole retro thing? I hate myself for smoking. I'm gonna be so fucking pissed when I get told of the advanced pulmonary disease and emphysema I have bought myself to the tune of about $1500 annually. Whats really sad? I'm smoking right now, and I love it. MMMMMM that sweet country smoke. Ohhh... I love to smoke. I love my not-so heavy pack of desert ungulates, however I am thinking about my cock. Most women don't like smokers and my cock likes pretty women. So.... Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Lethalfind Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Ohhh... I love to smoke. I love my not-so heavy pack of desert ungulates, however I am thinking about my cock. Most women don't like smokers and my cock likes pretty women. So.... Did you know that smoking can cause circulation problems in the extremeties?? ALL FIVE OF THEM!!! Quote I am a pathetic piece of shit leeching single mom.
snafu Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Making a statement like this on our fourm is a good start. Becuse now we can give you hell if you don't. Like your gonna care though. But I'm telling you right now RO the best way to quit is cold turkey! You take the pack you have right now and twist it up a chuck it in the trash can. If you can do that you will give yourself more will power. If drink you will get the what I call the " I don't give a shits" and light up more. It's gonna be a bitch anyway you look at it but this way your chances are better you quit and you quit sooner. This is from someone that's been there, done that. Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
jokersarewild Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 It must be hell for ya, dude, but if you can kick the habit, that'd be awesome. It makes me glad that I never smoked though...I don't know if I would have the willpower and the discipline to quit. Quote RoyalOrleans is my real dad!
RoyalOrleans Posted August 20, 2006 Author Posted August 20, 2006 Did you know that smoking can cause circulation problems in the extremeties?? ALL FIVE OF THEM!!! For the length of time that I smoked, I never ever had a problem with the General. He salutes at a cool breeze blowing through my kitchen window. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 20, 2006 Author Posted August 20, 2006 Making a statement like this on our fourm is a good start. Becuse now we can give you hell if you don't. Like your gonna care though. But I'm telling you right now RO the best way to quit is cold turkey! You take the pack you have right now and twist it up a chuck it in the trash can. If you can do that you will give yourself more will power. If drink you will get the what I call the " I don't give a shits" and light up more. It's gonna be a bitch anyway you look at it but this way your chances are better you quit and you quit sooner. This is from someone that's been there, done that. I appreciate the advice, but I have tried the cold turkey approach. Worked for two to three days and on the fourth I broke down. I am only as strong as my greatest weakness. So I must replace a vice with a vice. Which the word 'vice' is latin and means 'in place of'. So I am slowly weening myself off of the cigarettes with gum, toothpicks, sunflower seeds, and something I discovered last night: orange flavored tic-tacs. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 20, 2006 Author Posted August 20, 2006 It must be hell for ya, dude, but if you can kick the habit, that'd be awesome. It makes me glad that I never smoked though...I don't know if I would have the willpower and the discipline to quit. Don't ever start the habit, my young padawan. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
manicmonday Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 For the length of time that I smoked, I never ever had a problem with the General. He salutes at a cool breeze blowing through my kitchen window. So a hurricane is just painful huh? Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 So a hurricane is just painful huh? Like yanking a kitty-cat through a keyhole. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
Hugh G. Rekshun Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Don't sweat it, R.O. Lung cancer cures smoking. Quote "May you sit naked in Hell for all eternity with your tender rectum resting squarely upon the sharp end of a red hot barbed stalagmite, all the while you are tormented forever by hideous demons who force you to listen to endless Barry Manilow and Elton John duets of Ashlee Simpson's greatest hits, let this fate befall all those who so much as plagiarize one single word from my work"
snafu Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Old Pat Roberston had a doctor come in with two lungs. One from a 80 year old man and one from a 35 year old. The 80 year old didn Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
RoyalOrleans Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 Don't sweat it, R.O. Lung cancer cures smoking. Erectile disfunction, too. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 Old Pat Roberston had a doctor come in with two lungs. One from a 80 year old man and one from a 35 year old. The 80 year old didn Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
snafu Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Nope. I've been wishing Ol' Pat dead for years now. You keep somkin and you'll go before him! Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
RoyalOrleans Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 You keep somkin and you'll go before him! Yeah... let's not talk down to me right now. I'm on the verge of tearing my hair out. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
manicmonday Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Yeah... let's not talk down to me right now. I'm on the verge of tearing my hair out. Find a cute chick. Get laid. I've heard it helps. And I'm too short to talk down to you. Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 23, 2006 Author Posted August 23, 2006 Find a cute chick. Get laid. I've heard it helps. And I'm too short to talk down to you. That's so novel! I'd like to get laid, but have the heart to take me to dinner first. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
manicmonday Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 That's so novel! I'd like to get laid, but have the heart to take me to dinner first. You said you were picking me up. Did you change your mind?:o Quote The dick has no conscience and the heart has no rational abilities.
RoyalOrleans Posted August 23, 2006 Author Posted August 23, 2006 You said you were picking me up. Did you change your mind?:o MM, I could pick you up one handed and tote you around. Of course I didn't change my mind. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
snafu Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. Abraham Lincoln Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
somersetcace1 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I tried to quit...really....more than once! I was told by everyone around me to start again, or they would kill me in my sleep. Apparently I get a bit moody when I haven't had a cigarette in awhile. I guess it's that urge I get to start killing mother fuckers after about 3 hours. Quote
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