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Posted

It's that time of year again, and I have to say...I hate most Christmas cards. I'm not sentimental and weepy sentiments make me nauseous...so in the spirit of the season I thought I would share with you all...my absolute favorite warped holiday cards. There is this company called "Uncooked" cards...I'll include the link...so y'all can amuse yourself.

 

[ATTACH]28.IPB[/ATTACH]

 

I've sent this card before. Why don't people think this is funny?.......Retards!

 

Uncooked Greeting Cards

christmas_snowflakes.jpg.62049713c6fe8a25831ee417d25f4701.jpg

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Posted

"Sometimes I fantasize about spending time with you in my backyard grilling salmon steaks and giggling about my big fat crooked back."

 

That's how i feel about all y'all hugglies .

Posted

Haha! Nice! I missed that one.

 

One of my favorite cards that I love to send out for birthdays is this 70's photo of a man and two little girls. The man and one little girl are holding up signs that say "Happy Birthday". The other little girl is holding up a sign that says "I like corn on the cob".

 

Inside the card says: Never mind Stephanie. Have a Happy Birthday!

Posted
The last time I sent out Christmas cards was in 1976 as part of a class project in Kindergarten. Err... might've been the first grade.

To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair

 

Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.

Posted
The last time I sent out Christmas cards was in 1976 as part of a class project in Kindergarten. Err... might've been the first grade.

 

I hereby dub thee Grinchy McGee.

Posted

I tried sending out Christmas cards once.

 

I found them sealed, stamped and addressed at the bottom of a closet 3 years later. Haven't bothered to waste my time or money since.

Posted
I don't send Christmas cards...i just like to give the most crass or mean ones I can find to my very bestest friends. It's a challenge to make them laugh without hurting their feelings.
Posted
Haha! Nice! I missed that one.

 

One of my favorite cards that I love to send out for birthdays is this 70's photo of a man and two little girls. The man and one little girl are holding up signs that say "Happy Birthday". The other little girl is holding up a sign that says "I like corn on the cob".

 

Inside the card says: Never mind Stephanie. Have a Happy Birthday!

 

LMAO!!!

 

One of my favorites is a card with a picture of a moon landing, and it has these big baby doll heads (those old baby dolls where the eye's close if you lay them down kind of thing) stuck on Barbie doll bodies and a few other oddities spread out among the moon landing.

 

You open it up and it says:

 

"Yeah, I don't get it either.

 

Happy birthday!"

I'm trusted by more women.
Posted
LMAO!!!

 

One of my favorites is a card with a picture of a moon landing, and it has these big baby doll heads (those old baby dolls where the eye's close if you lay them down kind of thing) stuck on Barbie doll bodies and a few other oddities spread out among the moon landing.

 

You open it up and it says:

 

"Yeah, I don't get it either.

 

Happy birthday!"

 

That sounds awesome! I have a similar one that says "Yeah, I don't get it either" but on the cover it has a body completely covered in sheets and twine like a mummy standing next to a dead tree. It's so bizarro. I just love it.

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