Cheatin' Bastards - Volume 12,345,568

[Ahhlee]

Let me regale unto you the story of another local high drama couple. To protect the names of the innocent, let's label them "Harry and Sally", shall we?

 

Harry and Sally have had a tumultuous relationship from the start. They've been together for about 15 years now and Harry has been a cheating bastard from the get-go. I've seen the man in action at the bar and at parties and let me tell you....his indescretions are not very discreet. Frankly it's pathetic to see a 41 year old man out muff sniffing like some horny 18 year old boy, but I digress.

 

Well either Sally is finally suspect of Harry's activities or she has had enough of his misadventures because apparently last night she sent out a search crew to find him when he didn't come home after the bar closed.

 

Harry was discovered, in his truck, on the dirt road out to the cemetary (GAWD! haha!), with one of the local ho bags...in mid coitus. Sally's friend on the search crew took pics with her camera phone and presented her with the evidence.

 

Harry's excuse? He claims he was raped.

 

I wonder if he'll actually go through with pressing charges? If so, then ho bag is going to be directly involved even though everyone knows it was consentual.

 

Maybe Sally will pull the ultimate bitch move and sell off Harry's Harley and muscle car for $1....haha.

 

 

So what is the craziest excuse for cheating you've ever heard?

[ImWithStupid]

I know of a couple where the guy is an over the road trucker who is always cheating on his wife. She doesn't sleep around, but went to the doctor and was diagnosed with gonorrhea.

 

He convinced her that she gave it to him.

[Old Salt]

I know of a couple where the guy is an over the road trucker who is always cheating on his wife. She doesn't sleep around, but went to the doctor and was diagnosed with gonorrhea.

 

He convinced her that she gave it to him.

That has to be the ultimate in gulllible. Even I wouldn't believe that.

[Ahhlee]

I know of a couple where the guy is an over the road trucker who is always cheating on his wife. She doesn't sleep around, but went to the doctor and was diagnosed with gonorrhea.

 

He convinced her that she gave it to him.

 

And this stupid woman is still sitting at home baking this clown's ham.

 

Me? I'd have his sh!t packed up in the finest garbage bags and waiting on the curbside for him when he came home...cuz I'm classy like that.

[mercury]

And this stupid woman is still sitting at home baking this clown's ham.

 

Me? I'd have his sh!t packed up in the finest garbage bags and waiting on the curbside for him when he came home...cuz I'm classy like that.

 

fuk the garbage bags. It would be sitting in a nice crispy pile of ash at the curb... with a condom on top for a nice garnish.

[Ahhlee]

I've had two scoundrels cheat on me.

 

One was the ex husband. With him, I suspected though he denied it and his alibi was actually tight. Then one day I came home and he was served papers naming him in a paternity suit. The date of conception....my birthday from the previous year at which he was indeed absent. I kicked his ass out.

 

The other...well, I was pretty sure he was a player but he convinced me to give him a chance. One night I was invited to a party and the first thing I saw when I walked into the hallway was him kissing another woman. I stood there quietly until he looked up and saw me. The look on his face was priceless. I said, "I hope she was worth it" and walked out the door.

 

He ran after me, did the obligatory "I was drunk! She was pressuring me. I didn't want to! I'm so sorry!" which I ignored because I knew it was a lie.

 

Amazingly enough, he STILL calls me from time to time wanting another chance! LOL!

[mercury]

Those that screw around totally don't get it...

 

But they all know that being drunk is the perfect excuse for all kinds of bad behavior.

[Old Salt]

Those that screw around totally don't get it...

 

But they all know that being drunk is the perfect excuse for all kinds of bad behavior.

Being drunk is no excuse. If you truly wouldn't do something sober, the chances are pretty good (but not 100%, I guess) of not doing that same action drunk. But that's just my opinion.

[Ahhlee]

Those that screw around totally don't get it...

 

But they all know that being drunk is the perfect excuse for all kinds of bad behavior.

 

I would never cheat. It's just not in me to do it. If I have something wonderful at home, why would I seek to destroy that for a few fleeting moments with someone else?

 

I've gotten sloppy drunk before, but I've always been in control of myself and able to stop unwanted advances. The "but I was drunk!" excuse holds no weight in my book.

 

And if you are abusing alcohol to the point where you are acting that poorly, then you have TWO major issues to contend with, because the problem of cheating ultimately lies with the cheater and his/her lack of self esteem.

[mercury]

Totally agree, OS. I've been pretty messed up in my day, but I always knew what I was doing. I might have regretted it the next morning, but I was well aware of what I was doing while I was doing it.

 

I also totally agree with everything you said, Ali. I cheated on a boyfriend once, but he was already screwing around on me, so I figured it all evened out in the end. Besides, neither of us had taken any kind of vow before God and family to be faithful to each other.

 

Every serious relationship I've ever had has ended due to screwing around... him screwing around, not me.

[RegisteredAndEducated]

Drinking will lower your inhibitions... not make you totally oblivious. It's not a REAL excuse. I would never let it fly or try to use it.

 

I "cheated" once... I kissed another girl while I was dating somebody else. I mean like... made out kissed, not peck kissed... Anyway, came clean to my gf and she dumped me. I felt like I deserved it. We're pretty good friends now. She told me something very special recently. She told me that she isn't going to settle, and that she is going to search for someone just like me until she finds a man that can measure up. I told her to aim much higher than that, because I'm fallible just like anybody, and she deserves the absolute best. </sappy>

 

We need a post about cheatin hoes... for the guys to post their sob stories about the cheatin hoes they've encountered.

[Old Salt]

Drinking will lower your inhibitions... not make you totally oblivious. It's not a REAL excuse. I would never let it fly or try to use it.

 

I "cheated" once... I kissed another girl while I was dating somebody else. I mean like... made out kissed, not peck kissed... Anyway, came clean to my gf and she dumped me. I felt like I deserved it. We're pretty good friends now. She told me something very special recently. She told me that she isn't going to settle, and that she is going to search for someone just like me until she finds a man that can measure up. I told her to aim much higher than that, because I'm fallible just like anybody, and she deserves the absolute best. </sappy>

 

We need a post about cheatin hoes... for the guys to post their sob stories about the cheatin hoes they've encountered.

Or married?:o

[Chi]

We need a post about cheatin hoes... for the guys to post their sob stories about the cheatin hoes they've encountered.

 

Why not here? Guys are not the only who cheat, just the ones who cheat the MOST, BY FAR.

[RegisteredAndEducated]

Why not here? Guys are not the only who cheat, just the ones who cheat the MOST, BY FAR.

 

I disagree... I think trifilin hoes cheat ALOT more than dudes do.

[Chi]

I disagree... I think trifilin hoes cheat ALOT more than dudes do.

 

Most guys are triflin hoes, so I'll have to agree:cool:

[Ahhlee]

We need a post about cheatin hoes... for the guys to post their sob stories about the cheatin hoes they've encountered.

 

Why not here? Guys are not the only who cheat, just the ones who cheat the MOST, BY FAR.

 

 

Sure, tell your woes here! Whether it's a man cheating on a woman or a woman cheating on a man, it hurts either way. We don't really need a separate post, do we?

[Chi]

Sure, tell your woes here! Whether it's a man cheating on a woman or a woman cheating on a man, it hurts either way. We don't really need a separate post, do we?

 

Yes, because either way - GUYS CHEAT MORE!!!

[Old Salt]

Sure, tell your woes here! Whether it's a man cheating on a woman or a woman cheating on a man, it hurts either way. We don't really need a separate post, do we?

Separate but equal.

[Ahhlee]

I don't know. I think whether the cheater is a man or a woman, the one who was cheated on is equally devastated.

 

I've lent a shoulder to both men and women who have experienced the pain of a cheating partner and I have to say that the amount of tears shed among all of them is pretty much the same.

[ImWithStupid]

I don't know. I think whether the cheater is a man or a woman, the one who was cheated on is equally devastated.

 

Yea. That's why I have sex with far fewer married women than I used to when I was younger.

 

I developed scruples.

[emkay64]

Yea. That's why I have sex with far fewer married women than I used to when I was younger.

 

I developed scruples.

 

I think in IWS's case...scruples = genital warts. Am I wrong?

[RoyalOrleans]

I developed scruples.

 

I love that board game!

[RoyalOrleans]

Most guys are triflin hoes, so I'll have to agree:cool:

 

HEY!!!

 

I resent that remark!

 

I don't deny it, but I do resent it!

[Ahhlee]

Yea. That's why I have sex with far fewer married women than I used to when I was younger.

 

I developed scruples.

 

HEY!!!

 

I resent that remark!

 

I don't deny it, but I do resent it!

 

How do you two sleep at night?

 

Let me guess....next to several skanky women?

 

Or are you guys classy enough to pay their cab fare to send them on their way?

[ImWithStupid]

How do you two sleep at night?

 

Let me guess....next to several skanky women?

 

Or are you guys classy enough to pay their cab fare to send them on their way?

 

I sleep fine. I don't have to worry about her being there the next day. The married ones need to get back home to their husbands and get the kids off to school in the morning.