ImWithStupid Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 So the other night, a past girlfriend, more exactly a past fiance, died after a long time illness. As a disclaimer, she was a completely crazy bitch. I have known she was ill and likely to die for about a year, but didn't bother to visit her. She really treated me bad, took advantage of me. This was all before she became ill. She was somewhat of a hypocondriac and was always suffering from this and that and none of it turned out to be real. I took care of her in every waking hour for several years for her imaginary illnesses I took care of her daughter, pets, and I fed, clothed and sometimes bathed her. Pretty much did everything at her home as well as mine.cared for her child and her to the point that at the same time a friend of mine who had a father dying of cancer, said he wasn't able to care for his dad as much as I took care of her and her daughter. Pretty much, I cared hand and foot for her and her daughter for several years and she then dumped me, cold, when she began to feel better. Am I a bad person for not visiting her, or paying condolences to her family, given her mother is as much of a lying, lazy, psycho, crazy a$$ bitch as she was? Quote
Ahhlee Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Is the daughter old enough to appreciate any condolences that you might offer? Would she remember you fondly? If not, then I don't think an outreach is necessary. And no...you're not a bad person. Not at all. Quote
ImWithStupid Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 Is the daughter old enough to appreciate any condolences that you might offer? Would she remember you fondly? If not, then I don't think an outreach is necessary. And no...you're not a bad person. Not at all. From what I have been told and observed, no, even though, other than her grandfather, I was the closest thing to a father that she had, and when we had contact, about six months later, she was still calling me dad, in the five plus years since, she had become quite a self absorbed brad, under her mother and grandmother's tutilage, so I doubt my absence would affect her. Quote
timesjoke Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Kindness and compassion are never a bad thing. Your not a bad person for being human, nobody wants to be taken advantage of or abused so your avoiding her at her greatest need would certainly be perfectly understandable under the circumstances. The only thing I think about is the child, you say the child is now self absorbed and messed up from being isolated in her world of tutilage from these two woman but I wonder if you showing up in that time of need if those years of being a "dad" like person would not have broken through that and let her lean on you a little, that is if you would do that for the child. You have to assume that the long illness her mother went through was also very rough on the child as well, that could add to her poor attitude your talking about I am sure. But again, no your not a bad person for doing what 99% of all humans would have done in this situation. Quote
Chi Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 So the other night, a past girlfriend, more exactly a past fiance, died after a long time illness. As a disclaimer, she was a completely crazy bitch. I have known she was ill and likely to die for about a year, but didn't bother to visit her. She really treated me bad, took advantage of me. This was all before she became ill. She was somewhat of a hypocondriac and was always suffering from this and that and none of it turned out to be real. I took care of her in every waking hour for several years for her imaginary illnesses I took care of her daughter, pets, and I fed, clothed and sometimes bathed her. Pretty much did everything at her home as well as mine.cared for her child and her to the point that at the same time a friend of mine who had a father dying of cancer, said he wasn't able to care for his dad as much as I took care of her and her daughter. Pretty much, I cared hand and foot for her and her daughter for several years and she then dumped me, cold, when she began to feel better. Am I a bad person for not visiting her, or paying condolences to her family, given her mother is as much of a lying, lazy, psycho, crazy a$$ bitch as she was? I don't think so. Sounds like you don't owe her or them a thing. I would be the same way. Quote
phreakwars Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 So the other night, a past girlfriend, more exactly a past fiance, died after a long time illness. As a disclaimer, she was a completely crazy bitch. You talking about D.A.? If so, man I was shocked to learn she died. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
ImWithStupid Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 You talking about D.A.? If so, man I was shocked to learn she died. . . Yea. I had known for some time that she was very ill. Quote
phreakwars Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 I had no idea, last time I saw her was at the chili cook off a couple years ago. The one her and her dad won that year. . . Quote https://www.facebook.com/phreakwars
ImWithStupid Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 I had no idea, last time I saw her was at the chili cook off a couple years ago. The one her and her dad won that year. . . I feel bad for her dad and know that none of this could have been good for her daughter. I just found out on Sunday though, that she had a page on caring bridge. CaringBridge / darcianderson / Welcome Quote
wez Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 Damn.. so young.. what a shame.. What did she die from? I didn't see anything on the caring bridge site about her condition.. Hope her daughter has a good dad.. Quote
atlantic Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 No you're not a bad person. In fact you already gave way too much. Quote Do the right thing!
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