timesjoke Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Talking with emkay I was talking about a saying I made up: "Off like a prom dress". I used to say this all the time, I thought it was pretty funny and ladies always shook their finger at me when I said it, lol. I don't know how original it is but I have another one I like to use: "Sweating like two rats screwing in a wool sock." Do any of you have original or funny sayings you like to use? Quote
snafu Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 "Hay that's mighty white of you". Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
snafu Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 "I'll slap you so hard it'll make your head spin!" Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
timesjoke Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 When the car in front of you is not going but the light is green: "That is the only shade of green it get's." "It is the little skinny peddle on the right." Quote
eddo Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 "Keep that up and I'm gonna plant my foot so far up your rear that you're gonna know what my shoelaces taste like." "That's slicker than a greased pig on Easter mornin'" when someone disagree's with me, or does something I don't like: "You hate me cause I'm black huh? You racist pig..." Quote I'm trusted by more women.
timesjoke Posted August 28, 2009 Author Posted August 28, 2009 "Sweating harder than a Liberal trying to read a book." Quote
hugo Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 My dad taught me this one early, "There isn't much a little elbow grease can't fix". Quote The power to do good is also the power to do harm. - Milton Friedman "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." - James Madison
emkay64 Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Well I don't know if they are original but these were very common when I was growing up: 1) You kids are up and down more times than a brides nightie. 2) Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'. 3) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. 4) Night time is quiet time. 5) Quit your crying or I'll give you something to cry about. 6) Never miss a good chance to shut up. 7) Her ass looks like two pigs under a blanket. 8) It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. 9) I'm on it like a monkey on a muffin. Quote
ImWithStupid Posted August 29, 2009 Posted August 29, 2009 Sweatn' like a dog sh!ttin' peach pits. Quote
RoyalOrleans Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 "Sweating like a whore in church." "The horn blows! Does the driver?" "This guy drives like old people fukk!" "Well... no sh!t, Sherlock." "Hurry up every chance you get!" Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
hugo Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 A saying I do not here anymore is "Poor, but proud". Quote The power to do good is also the power to do harm. - Milton Friedman "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." - James Madison
snafu Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I use this all the time "It's the same difference." Quote "You can't stop insane people from doing insane things by passing insane laws. That's just insane!" Penn & Teller NEVER FORGOTTEN
eddo Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Yep, you are unique. Just like everyone else... Quote I'm trusted by more women.
atlantic Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise Quote Do the right thing!
RoyalOrleans Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I say this alot... "Mercy!" and this... "By God!" Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
hugo Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 "I'm just two beers away from a good day". Quote The power to do good is also the power to do harm. - Milton Friedman "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." - James Madison
Ahhlee Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Talking with emkay I was talking about a saying I made up: "Off like a prom dress". Oh, I have a friend who used to use that one all the time. "Sweating like a whore in church." One of my personal favorites that I use often. Sometimes I'll add "fat whore" when it's a super, extra sweaty occasion. .............. I also like: "Bloody hell!" "He's on it like a fly on sh!t." "Keep your fukken pants on, Impatient McGee!!!!" ( I add "McGee" to lots of things) "Do I LOOK like I give a fuk?" "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you buy me a drink and fuk me later?"...oh wait, scratch that. That's my bad pickup line. Sorry! Quote
eddo Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Oh, I have a friend who used to use that one all the time. One of my personal favorites that I use often. Sometimes I'll add "fat whore" when it's a super, extra sweaty occasion. .............. I also like: "Bloody hell!" "He's on it like a fly on sh!t." "Keep your fukken pants on, Impatient McGee!!!!" ( I add "McGee" to lots of things) "Do I LOOK like I give a fuk?" "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you buy me a drink and fuk me later?"...oh wait, scratch that. That's my bad pickup line. Sorry! anohter favorite of Ali's is: "I don't mind if you watch, but if you don't put that thing away, I'm gonna call the cops!" apparently she isn't fond of my Danny Bonaduce lunch box.... Quote I'm trusted by more women.
Ahhlee Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 anohter favorite of Ali's is: "I don't mind if you watch, but if you don't put that thing away, I'm gonna call the cops!" apparently she isn't fond of my Danny Bonaduce lunch box.... If it were Shaun Cassidy, you'd be golden. ....... Once I was really wasted when I was out with friends and I just randomly started licking my best friend's face. He was like, "what are you doing???" and I said, "It's 'Lick It Saturday'!". Now whenever our group is together on a Saturday night we commemorate Lick It Saturday by...errrrm...licking things. Yeah, I know. It's twisted. Some other sayings I like to use: (When asked why I did something strange) I dunno. I guess I just got a wild hair up my ass. It's colder than a witch's tit out here! Xanadu! (When I'm feeling particularly snarky) What do I think of that?.........BALL HAIR! (Ok, I think the phrase "ball hair" has got to be the funniest EVAH! I can be in the worst mood and if someone utters "ball hair" I will laugh for about an hour. I'm so ridiculously goofy.) And of course there is eddo's favorite: Uff-dah!!! Quote
timesjoke Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Oh, I have a friend who used to use that one all the time. Well I am sure I said it first, lol. My best crappy pick up line: "That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed." Or: "Wanna go halves on a bastard?" Quote
Ahhlee Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Well I am sure I said it first, lol. It's actually a pretty common line around here. I think I was in junior high the first time I heard it? Quote
timesjoke Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 It's actually a pretty common line around here. I think I was in junior high the first time I heard it? Well it was right after my senior prom I started saying it (for obvious reasons) and I'm 43 (about to be 44) so that was a tad earlier than yours.....but maybe it came from a movie or song to inspire it......all I know is "I'M off" was a popular way of saying goodbye and after some interesting happenings at the prom, I added the "like a prom dress" part. Quote
Ahhlee Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 Well it was right after my senior prom I started saying it (for obvious reasons) and I'm 43 (about to be 44) so that was a tad earlier than yours.....but maybe it came from a movie or song to inspire it......all I know is "I'M off" was a popular way of saying goodbye and after some interesting happenings at the prom, I added the "like a prom dress" part. Yes, yes. I'm sure you originated it. Please, by all means, feel free to take credit for that super awesome social meme. 1 Quote
timesjoke Posted August 31, 2009 Author Posted August 31, 2009 Yes, yes. I'm sure you originated it. Please, by all means, feel free to take credit for that super awesome social meme. I guess your back to busting my chops, I am sorry for the cat comment okay? I was just saying that "TO ME" it was original because I never heard of it before. I guess I need to be punnished for daring to believe I was original....... Quote
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