Ahhlee Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 You know the old saying, "There's no such thing as BAD sex", but come on.....you can't tell me you haven't had an experience that didn't trip your erogenous trigger. What are some of the best "bad sex moves" stories you have and are willing to share with a bunch of curious, dirty, ridiculously good looking folks? 1 Quote
mercury Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I've had a couple that not only didn't trip my erogenous trigger, they didn't even load the gun, so to speak. Getting all worked up to the idea that you're going to get some, then find that your partner can't co-operate due to faulty equipment really, really sucks. Quote
Ahhlee Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 1) I can't stand guys who can't kiss. Kissing is an ART! It takes finesse and a sense of how your partner is responding to your technique. I've never been disappointed in bed with a man who knows how to kiss a woman. 2) Men who get so excited that they just want to jump on and start pumping. Jeez...I'm not a whore! Give me a little rubbin' first for crying out loud. 3) You can always tell a guy who watches too much porn and thinks that what he sees on his videos are what a woman likes in bed. Not so much! These are the guys who gag you with their tongues. Who hone in on our "sensitive spot" and start attacking it like it's on fire....that's too fukking much, dude!!!! The guy who likes to do the famous "extend the tongue and flick" maneuver which does nothing except look good on camera. Give me a man who will take into consideration my responses and not revert to old stand-by techniques any day. 4) I think we all know how I feel about motorboating. 5) Listen/pay attention! If I move away from your hand, it means I want you to stop what you're doing. If you don't stop, and I have to remove your hand, that means I REALLY want you to stop what you're doing. If you put your hand back in that same fukking spot.....you're going home with blue balls and a black eye. (List most likely to be continued later....) 1 Quote
emkay64 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 3) You can always tell a guy who watches too much porn and thinks that what he sees on his videos are what a woman likes in bed. Not so much! ------------------------------------------- Yep...when the guy spits on his hand for lubrication purposes.....too much porn lol. From description alone I would have to say the donkey punch and tarmacking are likely considered "bad moves". 1 Quote
RoyalOrleans Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 The worst sex I have ever had was good. Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
timesjoke Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I bet you girls will pretend to not like The Dirty Sanchez too Quote
eddo Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 ya know, there was a point in my life where I didn't know what a donkey punch or dirty sanchez was... I miss those days... Quote I'm trusted by more women.
Ahhlee Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 3) You can always tell a guy who watches too much porn and thinks that what he sees on his videos are what a woman likes in bed. Not so much! ------------------------------------------- Yep...when the guy spits on his hand for lubrication purposes.....too much porn lol. From description alone I would have to say the donkey punch and tarmacking are likely considered "bad moves". My friend dated a guy who always asked, "Can I stick it up your butt?" whenever they were having sex. She said, they could be in the heat of the moment and it was soooo good and he'd ruin it with the inevitable "Can I stick it up your butt?" every time! lol Quote
emkay64 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Like a child....if I ask enough times maybe she'll get annoyed enough and just say "yah...FINE...stick it up my butt" Quote
ImWithStupid Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 My friend dated a guy who always asked, "Can I stick it up your butt?" whenever they were having sex. She said, they could be in the heat of the moment and it was soooo good and he'd ruin it with the inevitable "Can I stick it up your butt?" every time! lol What an idiot. You don't ask. You just do it. Sheesh. Quote
mercury Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 then she screams WRONG HOLE!! and ends fun time. 1 Quote
emkay64 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 What an idiot. You don't ask. You just do it. Sheesh. ...or pretend it was an accident. Wooopsie! Since I'm in anyway...... Quote
Ahhlee Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 What an idiot. You don't ask. You just do it. Sheesh. Come to think of it, I think she did mention the guy was from Nebraska...... Quote
timesjoke Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 What an idiot. You don't ask. You just do it. Sheesh. lol, say it again brother Quote
emkay64 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Regular Sex will make your day, but Anal sex will make your hole weak. 1 Quote
timesjoke Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Regular Sex will make your day, but Anal sex will make your hole weak. Okay, I giggled loud enough to get one of the girls' attention, hard to not show this stuff to the ladies when they ask what I am giggling about, but clearly not office safe material, lol. 1 Quote
RegisteredAndEducated Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Oh how i have missed you guys! Quote Intelligent people think... how ignorance must be bliss.... idiots have it so easy, it's not fair... to have to think... WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AMONG THOSE FORTUNATE MASSES..... Hey, "Non-believers" I've just got one thing to say to ya... If you're right, then what difference does it make, it wont matter when we're dead anyway... But if I'm right... Well, hey... Ya better be right...
emkay64 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I knew this would drag you out of hiding! Quote
eddo Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Oh how i have missed you guys! who's the newb?? Quote I'm trusted by more women.
mercury Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 who's the newb?? I wondered what eddo could possibly have to add here Quote
RegisteredAndEducated Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I wondered what eddo could possibly have to add here Me too... lol. Bad moves... bad moves... Once... a LONG time ago... I was getting a "hummer" from some whore... (and I didn't know at the time, but she was seriously sleeping with nearly every guy in her tiny little town...) and she was just sliding up and down... no suction, no technique... And she never finished... According to Billy Clinton, that's not sex... but there ya go. Quote Intelligent people think... how ignorance must be bliss.... idiots have it so easy, it's not fair... to have to think... WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AMONG THOSE FORTUNATE MASSES..... Hey, "Non-believers" I've just got one thing to say to ya... If you're right, then what difference does it make, it wont matter when we're dead anyway... But if I'm right... Well, hey... Ya better be right...
RegisteredAndEducated Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 I knew this would drag you out of hiding! Lol. I wasn't hiding. I saw TA post something on facebook about politics driving her back to this site and I decided to visit! I have to say, I think I'll be back alot more. Quote Intelligent people think... how ignorance must be bliss.... idiots have it so easy, it's not fair... to have to think... WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AMONG THOSE FORTUNATE MASSES..... Hey, "Non-believers" I've just got one thing to say to ya... If you're right, then what difference does it make, it wont matter when we're dead anyway... But if I'm right... Well, hey... Ya better be right...
ToriAllen Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Me too... lol. Bad moves... bad moves... Once... a LONG time ago... I was getting a "hummer" from some whore... (and I didn't know at the time, but she was seriously sleeping with nearly every guy in her tiny little town...) and she was just sliding up and down... no suction, no technique... And she never finished... According to Billy Clinton, that's not sex... but there ya go. You would think with all the experience she would be a lot better. I completely agree with Ali on the kissing thing. I can't stand when a man encompasses the whole lower half of my face with his mouth. Tone it back a little. My chin and nose should not be getting a bath. Quote Smart men learn from their own mistakes; Wise men learn from others. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
RoyalOrleans Posted September 12, 2009 Posted September 12, 2009 My chin and nose should not be getting a bath. Not yet, anyways? Quote To be the Man, you've got to beat the Man. - Ric Flair Everybody knows I'm known for dropping science.
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