Parting thoughts

[timesjoke]

My mother passed away last night.

 

 

Many of you already know that my mother has been fighting a long medical battle that has had her in and out of hospitals and on oxygen 24/7 for the last couple years. The last few weeks had her losing the battle in large steps and even her mind had lost all spark of the woman who had been the foundation of my very existence on this world.

 

I had thought myself prepared for this.

 

I had thought myself stronger than this.

 

I was wrong.

 

 

 

This woman showed with actions that no amount of personal sacrifice was too great when it came to providing for her family, she worked three jobs before, driving school bus in the morning, waitress during the day, return the kids on the bus that afternoon then she drove cab at night........all to provide for her children.....

 

 

To provide for me.......

 

 

My memories of my mother throught the years is of someone always ready to offer her time, what little she had, for anyone who needed her help.

 

I remember as a child we had one of the old washer machines with the ringer on top where you squeezed the water from the clothes instead of having a spin cycle and my mother and sisters hanging the clothes out to dry. Memories of general chores like chopping wood or carrying bags of grain, stacking hay or picking crops, butchering a pig or plucking chickens........we lived a very hands on life and hard work was just as normal as breathing......

 

And my mother was always involved, always working, always putting in her special touch to lighten the day, get us laughing or singing to help lessen the 'feeling' of work and make it even fun.

 

 

My mother loved to dance, music was always playing, she rarely watched any kind of television, for her music was the greatest invention ever offered her. While cooking a meal or putting away laundry, or dusting the furnature, there was always music playing and my mother dancing around, seeming to not notice she was actually working.

 

 

Even at the closing of her life, when she knew her life was nearing it's end, she seemed more concerned with everyone else, how each of us, not only her children but my father and other friends and family would do without her to keep up with us, to call us each day and help us relieve some stress by talking about our problems.

 

 

I have lost more than my mother, I have lost my very best friend in the world.

 

 

But I feel so very rich, so special to have had her as my mother and to have lived a life that included her special spark and spice to flavor my life, a life where I always knew I was loved.

[hugo]

My prayers are with you and your family.

[ToriAllen]

She sounds like she was an amazing woman. I'm sorry for your loss. You can never be ready for it; no matter how long you have to prepare.

[timesjoke]

Thank you both, she was pretty special, but maybe I am just biased.

[ImWithStupid]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is a very tough thing. The only thing is there is some solace in knowing it's the natural way of things.

[atlantic]

TJ this post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry.

[snafu]

Yeah my prayers go out to you. I don't know how I will handle it. I think they teach us so much through life and then they even teach us to die.

[DaMan]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[eddo]

so sorry man. My prayers go out to you and your family.

 

 

one of the older ladies in my church passed this morning.

[timesjoke]

Thanks again, the support I have received even from people I don't know very well has been huge, the lives my mother has touched is many, I have even had calls from people who used to ride her bus to school.

 

 

My mother's best friend also drove schoolbus, both of them installed 8 track tape players (don't laugh) with a couple speakers and if the kids were good, they could play their music and my mother even learned their songs and sang along and moved to the music while driving. She had all highschool kids but sometimes I would ride with her in the mornings.

 

It was nothing to be out and about with my mother and see a grown woman or man I did not know come up to my mother and give her a hug and find out the person used to be a kid on her bus many, many years ago.

[Chi]

I'm sorry for your loss... I wish you comfort and peace.

[Old Salt]

I'm very sorry for your loss, TJ.

[RegisteredAndEducated]

I am sorry for your loss TJ. I'm not sure what your beliefs are on the after life, but it sounds like she lived a great and full life. I can tell you from experience that losing a parent is not easy. Grieve well.

[wez]

Really sorry to hear that TJ... I know I dread the day...

[timesjoke]

Thanks again, my son and his wife is flying in today while my sister in Ohio and her two daughters (one 22, one 12) is comming in tomorrow, my once 'roomy' home is about to be packed, lol.

[Chopper]

I know I don't post very often and was a prat when I first did but please read this poem by the author Nicholas Evans- it is from his novel The Smoke Jumper and I think it says it all

 

Walk Within You

 

If I be the first of us to die, Let grief not blacken long your sky.

Be bold yet modest in your grieving. There is a change but not a leaving.

For just as death is part of life, The dead live on forever in the living.

And all the gathered riches of our journey,

The moments shared, the mysteries explored, The steady layering of intimacy stored,

The things that made us laugh or weep or sing, The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,

The wordless language of look and touch, The knowing, Each giving and each taking,

These are not flowers that fade, Nor trees that fall and crumble,

Nor are they stone,

For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.

What we were, we are. What we had, we have.

A conjoined past imperishably present.

So when you walk the wood where once we walked together

And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,

Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,

And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,

And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you, Be still.

Close your eyes. Breathe.

Listen for my footfall in your heart. I am not gone but merely walk within you.

 

 

I hope this gives you a token of comfort

[timesjoke]

First you say this:

 

My prayers are with you and your family.

 

Then you say this:

His mother is currently explaining to St. Peter how she is not at fault for raising a phuckin commie.

 

Your a piece of garbage hugo, you obviously have no decency in you at all.

[Ahhlee]

I'm sorry for your loss, TJ. God bless.

[timesjoke]

Thanks Ali.

 

Very nice poem Chopper, thank you for that, I am printing it out and I am considering passing it out to people, I liked it very much.

[snafu]

Yes that was a very nice poem Chopper.