atlantic Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Why do people get married anyway? Why do you have vows that promise to live together better or worse? People have always had divorces but marriage used to mean something. I'm going through a rocky time right now and it's killing me. I don't want to breath anymore!Hang in there CB; I know what you're going through. My divorce damn neared killed me. You will be ok, it'll all work out ok. Keep yourself busy Charlie til it passes Quote Do the right thing!
Ahhlee Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 It sucks, but... you do what you gotta do. Quote
wez Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Funny thing bout all this.. I recall J saying .. many times in fact.. that the only reason he got married was because she got pregnant.. what a brilliant idea.. Live and learn.. Quote
timesjoke Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Funny thing bout all this.. I recall J saying .. many times in fact.. that the only reason he got married was because she got pregnant.. what a brilliant idea.. Live and learn.. Well they had sex most likely because of mutual attraction, assuming the child was not the result of a one night stand....there had to be something about her that was keeping him comming back before he got her pregnant. Her getting pregnant was the result of him trusting her enough not to use his own protection. Obviously there was more to it than 'she got pregnant'. How long were they together before getting married/getting pregnant? Quote
wez Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Well they had sex most likely because of mutual attraction, assuming the child was not the result of a one night stand....there had to be something about her that was keeping him comming back before he got her pregnant. Her getting pregnant was the result of him trusting her enough not to use his own protection. Obviously there was more to it than 'she got pregnant'. How long were they together before getting married/getting pregnant? Not sure exactly.. few months tops I think.. J wasn't ever much of a long term relationship kinda guy.. but.. he's been saying that since.. and knowing him, I fully believe it. Well they had sex most likely because of mutual attraction yah.. prolly.. but then again.. for J all that was required for mutual attraction was a willing vagina.. so.. there ya are. Quote
timesjoke Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 But he still trusted her enough to have unprotected sex with her, so either he is completely stupid or there was more to it than he is admitting to. Men rarely share their true emotional feelings with other men, it is easier to claim he only married her because she was pregnant then to say he was in love with her. Quote
wez Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 But he still trusted her enough to have unprotected sex with her, so either he is completely stupid or there was more to it than he is admitting to. Men rarely share their true emotional feelings with other men, it is easier to claim he only married her because she was pregnant then to say he was in love with her. Well.. I've known J since I was 14 and I think trust and worrying about getting her pregnant was the farthest thing from his mind.. so yeah.. stoopid to be sure..but it's one thing to claim "Cuz I got her got pregnant", if all your friends and family are saying.. "what the f ck did you marry that pile - o - crap for?" Do you think it normal for guys to go around just offering this as casual conversation for the last dozen years if it's not true? He's the only person I've ever heard say anything like that in my life. I don't think he's truly been in love with a girl ever.. just loved f cking them. Didn't matter who it was. So, seems to me, he took your tried and true genie bottle theory to heart and took responsibility for his "mistakes" by marrying her. Brilliant.. Quote
timesjoke Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 There is more to taking responsibility than being in the room. Being a real parent is a lot of very hard work. Every day. If your buddy was so irresponsible as you claim, it is doubtful he was doing more than going through the motions of an appearance of committment and nothing else. He may as well not have even tried. In fact he most likely made it worse than if he had just run away from the start. Quote
wez Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 In fact he most likely made it worse than if he had just run away from the start. Exactly..I'm sure he did.. Her too.. Fact is, I've never even met his wife.. and his daughter just once. He's always kinda lived this double life. There would be times when I wouldn't see or hear from him for long periods. Years even. You know how it goes when ya get older. But, he's made several comments in the last couple years about his daughter having pretty severe emotional problems. I think he did the best he knew how.. live and learn.. not for me to judge his life. So what do you say when guys run away, or more importantly, a women realizes she'd be better off without him, even if it is the better option for the kids? Quote
wez Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Now that I think back to the one time I met his daughter.. was prolly 4 or 5 years ago.. she was like 8 or 9.. just a little sweetheart. She was super affectionate and wanting me to give her bunches of attention right after I met her, sitting on my lap.. wanting me to pick her up.. show me her room.. show me her cats.. Quite the cutie.. I remember J saying something to the effect of .. "knock it off ______, leave wez alone".. and yeah.. he still calls me wez to this day.. .. I said.. "Don't worry about it.. she's fine". Felt bad for her.. she prolly got that a lot over the years from him. But, doesn't make him a bad guy.. people can only pretend to be happy for so long. Kids know better. I think he did the best he could.. I think most people do. Life is messy.. Quote
timesjoke Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 The story about the little girl says a lot, I would need to see some of it myself but I would say she was starved for attention. This means she does not get that attention from daddy. As I said, there is more to taking responsibility than standing in the room. All I can say is maybe it makes more sense to get to know each other "BEFORE" you make children with them. I feel no sympathy for so called adults who make children then cry about how they are not happy with their mate anymore unless there is some form of abuse or huge issue that showed them as completely different than they got together. While that does happen, the vast majority of divorses involve people who just never took the time to get to know each other before making babies. Quote
atlantic Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Damn that sucks Wez. I have an acquiantance who recently told me "Thank god I got pregnant with my son " because she and her husband were on the verge of breaking up until she became pregnant. Now all they do is fight all the time; they have nothing in common, and she just wants to boss him around and do whatever she wants while he busts his ass all day and isn't allowed any money. She gets pedicures, shops all the time, doesn't cook, doesn't clean but manages to go to the gym all the time. I see this way too often. Having a son, I will be sure to teach him to protect himself. A marriage isn't suppose to be a lifetime of servitude but too often that's what it becomes. Quote Do the right thing!
timesjoke Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 A marriage isn't suppose to be a lifetime of servitude but too often that's what it becomes. Tru dat Even divorced my ex gives me crap all the time and is always complaining about wanting more money from me. Quote
Old Salt Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Damn that sucks Wez. I have an acquiantance who recently told me "Thank god I got pregnant with my son " because she and her husband were on the verge of breaking up until she became pregnant. Now all they do is fight all the time; they have nothing in common, and she just wants to boss him around and do whatever she wants while he busts his ass all day and isn't allowed any money. She gets pedicures, shops all the time, doesn't cook, doesn't clean but manages to goe to the gym all the time. I see this way too often. Having a son, I will be sure to teach him to protect himself. A marriage isn't suppose to be a lifetime of servitude but too often that's what it becomes.Dam, that sounds like my second ex-wife (except the pregnant part). But she couldn't be bothered going shopping - HSN all the way. Buy it, look at it, and return it - her favorite hobbies. Quote
atlantic Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Just after Christmas one of my buddies went home and told his wife he didn't love her anymore. She was devastated. They are now going thru counseling, but how do you overcome your spouse of almost 20 years telling you something like that? then last week, a friend of mines dad emptied he and his wifes bank account and moved to England to be with a woman he met online. women ain't the only jackasses out there Atlantic. I know Eddo. Sad but true. I don't know why she would even want to stay around if he told her that. I would be long gone. (assuming there are no young children involved). Quote Do the right thing!
atlantic Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Becca's a Lyin Bitch - That is all Quote Do the right thing!
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