What do I do?

[timesjoke]

Prior to the last big mess I was involved with I really did not care if anyone here (or at any other forum) liked me or not because in my mind I was here mostly to debate and get in the ditches with some spirited debates, to really cast aside political correctness and say exactly what I felt without worrying what people thought about me.

 

I accomplished that goal well and debated well but after a awile I started to really not like it as much so this last time I decided to try to really reach out to a few people on this forum and see how things would change if I started caring more on how people felt. So I did, I really meant the words I said in that thread and I really did want to see if I could get along more with people here on this forum.

 

 

Several people seemed to wish me well and said they would try to help and I guess to a certain degree I guess I got my hopes up because at first when Ren came here to make trouble for me I didn't care, I thought my attempts to reach out to people would have counted for something and people would let me exist based on the new ways I have been condicting myself instead of beating me up on the old days.

 

 

 

It appears I was wrong.

 

 

 

Now the old crew is back, and again taking shots at me based on the old days and I am surprised at the fact that while Ren is not bothering me, the renewed hostilities from certain people is actually getting under my skin a little. I guess this is my reward for starting to care.

 

 

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I never expected anyone to come out and defend me against Ren, but I really thought I had earned the chance to move foward and be judged and treated based on new actions instead of old ones.

 

 

 

I really did let go of the past, and I am glad I did, even if I was the only one.

 

 

 

 

So now, what do I do?

 

I can't go back to the old ways, I am too worn out for that, I just am too tired and weary of the fighting to ever want that for my life again, that is why I really hoped for change here with people that even though I fought with a lot I still had a lot of respect for (like Ali).

 

I don't want to just put them on ignore because they were part of my reason to try and change for the better. I want to get along with them, this was the point so ignoring them would simply be a waste of time.

 

Leave? Certainly a possibility, I am surprised at how much that choice does really bother me but I do not want to go back to the fighting so maybe that will be my only real alternative, I'm not sure what to do so here I am again asking my fellow forum members what they would suggest I do at this point?

 

 

 

 

No matter what happens now I owe congratulations to Ren for a job well done, after several years of trying to hurt me you finally figured out a way, you had some help to be sure, but you were the stone in the water that caused the ripples. Good job.

[eddo]

these folks should be able to help:

 

Clicky here

 

 

a good fight lifts a place like this up, don't fret it, do your best to not get sucked back in to the level you were before, and do your best to move forward. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's harder than other times, but it can happen.

 

and really, It's all any of us can do.

[timesjoke]

Well your one of the people taking shots at me eddo, all based in old issues. I had hoped to get past the past but this crazy woman Ren shows up with her lies and obsession for me and suddenly even you and Ali are jumping on the "bash times" bandwagon again, even if at the same time you don't like her much either.

 

 

 

It is like the old saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. (that would make her the enemy of your enemy in this situation)

[ren]

Someone please remind me not to click on your links when I'm drinking something.

[emkay64]

I have noticed that you have been making a genuine effort to get a long. There is a way about you that definitely takes some getting used to but I think I'm okay with it all now.

 

On a personal note..and this is my own experience and observation. The online community is definitely different. Certain personality quirks can be difficult to guage. Myself...I'm sarcastic, dry and rarely get angry. I have apologized on numerous occasions in my personal life because people quite often don't know how to read sarcasm. I think that's what drew me initially. I seemed to share a kinship with others with similar personality traits. I loved that I could say things and people would get it. That being said I can't assume everyone gets it and I can make allowances for this. Most times even if I'm bothered by a comment..I can make fun of myself, make a joke, lighten it up and all of a sudden I'm not bothered anymore. If it really ticks me off I leave. When I come to these places I genuinely want levity. If it gets to be too much I can shut it off.

 

Unlike other chat sites I do genuinely consider the people I've met to be friends and correspond with a number of them on the phone as well. I rarely look at people as words on a screen...but I'm old fashioned...or maybe just old. Whatever the case...online..like in life there will be people that aren't going to like you and you need to be okay with that. If they take shots, chalk it up as being someone not worth your time..and respond to the ones that are. We are all adults here...come and go as you like. If you are offended sort it out and then let it go. Honestly the talk about banning, Tammi's chest and any other fights are so...OVER, and completely boring. A little strife is good and healthy and makes a site interesting...but re-hashing the same old crap is so fukking dry..let's move it along.

 

Bottom line...toughen your skin a little and let things roll. If you seriously feel it's worth sacrificing friendships with the majority for the sake of a few...that's your call, or you can just move along, contribute and enjoy yourself and laugh at the ones that try to bait you. I'm not saying lay down and take abuse..just choose not to let it affect you. Take control over what you need to take to heart.

 

This isn't really addressing TJ..it's for everyone so there.

 

Now..bow before me my minions...I am the messiah and I have a new spiral notebook and sparkly pen.

[timesjoke]

Well I have been really trying, and to have people like eddo and Ali come out and talk trash about me based on the past I felt was not really fair.

 

 

Just because Ren chases me down all over the internet that should not be used as an excuse to take shots at me.

[ren]

 

Now..bow before me my minions...I am the messiah and I have a new spiral notebook and sparkly pen.

 

Staples junkie

[eddo]

now..bow before me my minions...i am the messiah and i have a new spiral notebook and sparkly pen.

 

lucky!!!!!!!!

[emkay64]

Staples junkie

 

You DARE to mock me?!!! You are a mouthy little minion...I may need to punish you. Someone quickly...bring me something to flog her and shoestring licorice...I have a hankering.

[ren]

no good , I shall laugh at you whilst eating the licorice

[hugo]

You DARE to mock me?!!! You are a mouthy little minion...I may need to punish you. Someone quickly...bring me something to flog her and shoestring licorice...I have a hankering.

 

Clearly we got a nutcase with delusions of grandeur here.

[hugo]

Well your one of the people taking shots at me eddo, all based in old issues. I had hoped to get past the past but this crazy woman Ren shows up with her lies and obsession for me and suddenly even you and Ali are jumping on the "bash times" bandwagon again, even if at the same time you don't like her much either.

 

 

 

 

Once you accept the fact that eddo and Ali are a couple scumbags life will get easier.

[atlantic]

Don't do anything. Don't leave. Just because somebody says some about you doesn't mean we all believe it. We have all said and done things we regret. So what? Let's move on and learn from it. Ignore the insults.

 

I have to say this though. I really don't like it when you bring up Wez's abortion; that is a personal decision. I was once raped and became pregnant as a result and was told I had to have an abortion by the perp, I was afraid and did so; it scared me so bad emotionally I had my tubes burned afterwards so that could never happen again. Does this make me a monster?

 

Try to leave personal attacks out of the debates, and things will not escalate so much .

 

There are people who are going to like us, love us, hate us, understand us/ misunderstand us, in the end it doesn't determine who we are inside. I like ya just fine TJ.

[wez]

What do you Do?

 

Whatever you want..

 

But.. passive TJ is best.. IMO.. He doesn't try to dominate and control people through fear, intimidation and aggression.. he tries to dominate and control them through their huggly emotions by making people feel sorry for him. Much more pleasant... Hugs

 

You had me at what do I do.. not so tough guy..

[timesjoke]

Don't do anything. Don't leave. Just because somebody says some about you doesn't mean we all believe it. We have all said and done things we regret. So what? Let's move on and learn from it. Ignore the insults.

 

Well it has little to do with my stalker Ren. She is exactly like Wez and how he chased eddo all over the internet to attack him. Ren does not possess the power to directly bother me, but I will admit I was frustrated at how other old antagonists decided to take the excuse to toss flames at me too. I had thought we moved past that but evidently I was wrong, some people just love an excuse to jump on bandwagons when there is something ugly to be done.

 

I have to say this though. I really don't like it when you bring up Wez's abortion; that is a personal decision. I was once raped and became pregnant as a result and was told I had to have an abortion by the perp, I was afraid and did so; it scared me so bad emotionally I had my tubes burned afterwards so that could never happen again. Does this make me a monster?

 

And Wez is exactly like that perp who raped you. Wez loves to accuse me of being a abuser and controller of women but that is because he sees that crime in his own self. Do you ever wonder why Wez always says 'you are what you hate'? Wez accuses me of the things he hates, the things he is, and THAT IS WHY HE HATE THEM.

 

 

I am sorry if what I said bothered you, that was not my intent.

 

 

Try to leave personal attacks out of the debates, and things will not escalate so much .

 

Well I did ignore the first ten or so flames by Wez before commenting back, it was when old antagonists decided to pile on things blew up into more. I still do not understand why these other people get so worked up and have to join in on things that do not involve them in the slightest.

 

 

 

There are people who are going to like us, love us, hate us, understand us/ misunderstand us, in the end it doesn't determine who we are inside. I like ya just fine TJ.

 

Thanks, few here would ever say they like me, especially not in public.

 

It means a lot to me for you to say so openly.

[wez]

Sh t.. what happened to passive TJ? Oh well..

 

I know you're an abuser and controller of women because I spent 18 years with a female you.. Can spot em a mile away.. and I don't hate you.. never have.. everything I say to you is based on your behavior here to myself and others.. not some personal tidbit of personal information I put in my pocket for use later if needed.. That's what abusers do..

 

btw.. Atlantics met me in person and has known me long enough.. I think she can form her own opinions.

[timesjoke]

People sometimes live their whole life when their mate suddenly comes out of the closet or goes to work with a gun and kill their co-workers Wez.

 

 

Nobody ever completely knows another person, but I do know that you spend too much time trying to paint me with a brush that clearly hold the paint of your life on it, not mine.

 

 

There is a deep seated reason you try to make me into you so you can flame me Wez. I am not you, you are the controller and abuser, not me.

 

 

 

 

Now, based on the request from atlantic I will drop this discussion with you. I only responded after you kept spamming your lies about me being someone I am not when it is you who is exactly what you try to say I am. Go look in the mirror before you try tossing stones Wez, most of the time, the guy who points their finger first is the actual guilty party........and you always point your finger first.

 

 

 

The stage is yours Wez, I know that attention is all you wanted in the first place and you got that so you should be happy

[atlantic]

I love you Wez, even though I don't always understand you sometimes. I like TJ. Seems you are both fighters for what you believe to be right.

 

There has to be other ways of debating things without personal attacks though.

 

So please let's drop the insults and enjoy each other's posts.

 

Thanks

[ren]

People sometimes live their whole life when their mate suddenly comes out of the closet or goes to work with a gun and kill their co-workers Wez.

 

 

Nobody ever completely knows another person, but I do know that you spend too much time trying to paint me with a brush that clearly hold the paint of your life on it, not mine.

 

 

There is a deep seated reason you try to make me into you so you can flame me Wez. I am not you, you are the controller and abuser, not me.

 

 

 

 

Now, based on the request from atlantic I will drop this discussion with you. I only responded after you kept spamming your lies about me being someone I am not when it is you who is exactly what you try to say I am. Go look in the mirror before you try tossing stones Wez, most of the time, the guy who points their finger first is the actual guilty party........and you always point your finger first.

 

 

 

The stage is yours Wez, I know that attention is all you wanted in the first place and you got that so you should be happy

 

I don't know wez very well. But he does not strike me as the type to repress his feelings and then explode with gunfire. He's pretty verbal and expresses himself anyway he wants to. May agravate some people I guess but I don't picture him typing away on his computer in desperation plotting his next victory which will determine his self worth.

[atlantic]

^^^^^ stop instigating TJ. Is that you're sole purpose of being here?

[wez]

People sometimes live their whole life when their mate suddenly comes out of the closet or goes to work with a gun and kill their co-workers Wez.

 

And other people display signs on chat forums that scream abuser..

 

Like grabbing onto personal tidbits of information to put in your pocket for later use to advance your own f cked up agenda like you just did with Atlantic, not caring whether it would hurt her or not.. Like you've done with me.. like you've done with Ali.. like you've done with eddo.. Like you did with ren in the last week.. like you do to anyone who dares confront your behavior.. usually works and shuts people up, eh? Other people are a means to an end for you.. nothing more. It's always about you..

 

Blaming someone else for situations you find yourself in.. abusers are always the victim..

 

 

Nobody ever completely knows another person, but I do know that you spend too much time trying to paint me with a brush that clearly hold the paint of your life on it, not mine.

 

Yes.. like I said.. I spent 18 years with a female you.. paint of my life.. you paint yourself.. I just point it out to you.

 

 

There is a deep seated reason you try to make me into you so you can flame me Wez. I am not you, you are the controller and abuser, not me.

 

I learned a lot in those 18 years TJ.. Too bad for you..

 

 

Now, based on the request from atlantic I will drop this discussion with you. I only responded after you kept spamming your lies about me being someone I am not when it is you who is exactly what you try to say I am. Go look in the mirror before you try tossing stones Wez, most of the time, the guy who points their finger first is the actual guilty party........and you always point your finger first.

 

 

I know.. you're always the victim..

 

 

The stage is yours Wez, I know that attention is all you wanted in the first place and you got that so you should be happy

 

Exit.. stage left..

[ren]

^^^^^ stop instigating TJ. Is that you're sole purpose of being here?

 

No it's not but you'll see my name in a lot of his posts. So even if I'm not around you'll think of me

[eddo]

Like grabbing onto personal tidbits of information to put in your pocket for later use to advance your own f cked up agenda like you just did with Atlantic, not caring whether it would hurt her or not.. Like you've done with me.. like you've done with Ali.. like you've done with eddo.. Like you did with ren in the last week.. like you do to anyone who dares confront your behavior.. usually works and shuts people up, eh?

 

ummm, not to get all involved and junk, but we are all guilty of that at some point wez: including myself, and also including you.

 

I dunno that it is fair to point that out about TJ when you (and like I said- me too) have done the exact same thing.

 

How many times have you yanked my being banned and my strained relationship with babiebec into a conversation? How many times have I done the same thing to you or someone else? Way too many to count, and definitely too many to be proud of...

 

Check that mirror bud.

[atlantic]

No it's not but you'll see my name in a lot of his posts. So even if I'm not around you'll think of me

Are you sure? People see what they want to see, dont you think?

[wez]

ummm, not to get all involved and junk, but we are all guilty of that at some point wez: including myself, and also including you.

 

I dunno that it is fair to point that out about TJ when you (and like I said- me too) have done the exact same thing.

 

How many times have you yanked my being banned and my strained relationship with babiebec into a conversation? How many times have I done the same thing to you or someone else? Way too many to count, and definitely too many to be proud of...

 

Check that mirror bud.

 

Well.. If someone wanted to play the "I can hurt you emotionally more than you can hurt me" game with me as a means to justify why I should be banned from every website I've ever been on (here and The Jungle with a short stint on GF.) . I've definitely returned the favor to point out the hypocrisy of it all on occasion.. to you and TJ.. whom I've never tried to remove from anywhere..

 

so.. if you can honestly say you or TJ have never tried to influence others to remove me from a website.. then yeah.. same thing.. otherwise.. not the same thing.. I can honestly say I've never done anything like that to you, TJ or anyone else.. can you say that?

 

.. and even tho I felt justified.. it doesn't make me feel good.. and no.. not something I'm proud of.. I don't like to hurt people in any way.. but.. I'm also not going to crawl in a hole and cry.. so.. if ya can't take it.. don't do it.. simple enough.