When is a man TOO sensitive?

[Ahhlee]

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There are thousands, perhaps millions, of books, magazines articles and movies telling women that we should be on the lookout for a sensitive man. That a sensitive man will nurture our spirits, truly care about our feelings and treat us with the respect we deserve.

 

There's really nothing wrong with that outlook. Everyone should have someone in their life who honestly cares about them.

 

But where does that fine line end? Can a man be TOO sensitive? Is there a societal standard that applies or does sensitivity only exist in the eye of the beholder?

 

Your thoughts?

[Ahhlee]

I need to step outside my lines of thinking here and see what's really going on in the world. You have to remember that I come from an area where people are very hard, and a man would rather chew off his own arm at the elbow than show a shred of emotion either in public or private.

 

A guy willing to show his sensitive side frightens me and makes me step into the man's role and become even harder and more dominant than I already am. How do I move past that reaction?

 

Seriously...do I need sensitivity classes? Is it something that can be taught, or is it something you're born with?

 

WTF?

[timesjoke]

In the old style of family unit, the man was the enforcer and bread winner while the woman was the nurture and care side of the family unit and did not have to worry about being the 'bad cop'.

 

With more and more women deciding to "go it alone" even when raising children, things have changed and women seem to be less sensitive and more "hard" as you mention Ali out of an absense of that element being provided in their home life from any other source.

 

 

 

So, men in many ways have adapted to this change in our women and are moving to take up the areas women have turned away from. I see more and more men who seem to be more involved with child raising as an example.

[hugo]

As I tell the wife, any man who remembers things like anniversaries is a limp dick fag.

[snafu]

I'm a sensitive kind of guy. I ball like crazy at funerals.

[Ahhlee]

I guess I can't figure this one out.

 

Do I need a man who is sensitive to help bring out MY sensitive side so I'm not so harsh?

 

Or would a sensitive man drive me to become even more aggressive and emotionally constipated?

 

Decisions, decisions.

[Chi]

I guess I can't figure this one out.

 

Do I need a man who is sensitive to help bring out MY sensitive side so I'm not so harsh?

 

Or would a sensitive man drive me to become even more aggressive and emotionally constipated?

 

Decisions, decisions.

 

Find a manly man who is sensitive enough and stay the way you are. You are fine the way you are. You aren't too harsh.

[snafu]

I guess I can't figure this one out.

 

Do I need a man who is sensitive to help bring out MY sensitive side so I'm not so harsh?

 

Or would a sensitive man drive me to become even more aggressive and emotionally constipated?

 

Decisions, decisions.

 

I sure hope what your saying isn't the reason my wife has been so hard. Had I known I woulda slaped her around some just to make her feel better.

[timesjoke]

I guess I can't figure this one out.

 

Do I need a man who is sensitive to help bring out MY sensitive side so I'm not so harsh?

 

Or would a sensitive man drive me to become even more aggressive and emotionally constipated?

 

Decisions, decisions.

 

You should be you, nobody and nothing external can make you happy or make you feel "complete".

 

 

If you believe your too harsh, then trying to find a man to bring you balance seems to be designed and doomed to failure. If you truly believe this, then I would say to leave men alone and go find help to bring yourself to a balance your proud of and only then will you be able to find a relationship that has a chance at lasting.

 

 

 

When my ex-wife took off she really struck down my feeling of self-worth. Dealing with that and her refusing me any visitation with my children for several months had me as depressed as I can ever remember being. I was no good to myself and was not interested in dating either. A couple years later I was still having trust issues and this was not caused by the women around me but instead by my own insecurity and feelings of low worth.

 

I was like most men and did not want to show my feelings to the world so I hid them down deep and pretended to not have any problems at all. But I was miserable inside, I as all people was intended to have companionship, but I could not find that companionship as long as I was broken emotionally.

 

Then one day my pastor said something to me that I believe truly opened my eyes. He said "if you do not love yourself, how could you ever truly love someone else." This got my attention and I made time to talk to him more about this line of thought. He helped me to understand that I had to make myself right with the guy I see in the mirror and be proud of myself, be happy to be the man I am before I could let myself be comfortable with someone else. This is not to be confused with external or the appearance of being happy. I was working hard, making a lot of money and going on trips and spending time with friends/family all the time. From every angle I looked to be a very happy man, all but the inside angle, and that angle I was even hiding from myself.

[emkay64]

For me...sensitive means tuned in..not a guy that bawls all the time. Sensitive to the needs of others, sensitive to children, sensitive to me. I don't want a blubbering ball of sensitivity struggling to find his inner vagina. He can still be a man's man and be sensitive IMO.

[ren]

For me...sensitive means tuned in..not a guy that bawls all the time. Sensitive to the needs of others, sensitive to children, sensitive to me. I don't want a blubbering ball of sensitivity struggling to find his inner vagina. He can still be a man's man and be sensitive IMO.

Absolutely

[snafu]

For me...sensitive means tuned in..not a guy that bawls all the time. Sensitive to the needs of others, sensitive to children, sensitive to me. I don't want a blubbering ball of sensitivity struggling to find his inner vagina. He can still be a man's man and be sensitive IMO.

 

Absolutely

 

Ok I've been threw a lot in these last few months so I am an emotional wreck. OK?

Sue me!

I cried when I had a friend diagnosed with two different death sentences.

I cried when I lost time time with my granddaughter and couldn't do anything about it.

I cried with my new deli ma took and is taking place.

 

But I can protected, kick ass some ass and defend any loved one. I can appreciate a real women.

Women for the most part are more attracted to the misfit or bad boy of the crowd. WTF?

You girls should be looking for the sensitive guy. There the ones who are thinking about how to please and treat a real women.

 

PS:

My number is 907- -

[eddo]

if I had an inner vagina I wouldn't need a woman...

[wez]

For me...sensitive means tuned in..not a guy that bawls all the time. Sensitive to the needs of others, sensitive to children, sensitive to me. I don't want a blubbering ball of sensitivity struggling to find his inner vagina. He can still be a man's man and be sensitive IMO.

 

Perfectly said..

[timesjoke]

For me...sensitive means tuned in..not a guy that bawls all the time. Sensitive to the needs of others, sensitive to children, sensitive to me. I don't want a blubbering ball of sensitivity struggling to find his inner vagina. He can still be a man's man and be sensitive IMO.

 

Isn't being "tuned in" subjective though?

 

The level of attention and observation you desire may be completely different from what the next woman will want right? Assuming you mean that the man can pick up on your emotional needs and states on his own without help to be what you mean by "tuned in".

 

 

Men and women are completely different creatures and our minds work on levels that are also completely different, there is a saying that any man who is that in tune with the mind of a woman already has a boyfriend.

 

 

 

Watch this, I have posted this before but other things were happening at the time and I don't think anyone took the time to watch it then:

 

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM]YouTube - Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain - EXTENDED[/ame]

 

 

 

While your at it watch this one:

 

 

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwBKIQ__q7Q]YouTube - Ask More Than Once[/ame]

 

 

This guy is great

 

 

 

Watch this one too:

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqgsD-IhFtw]YouTube - Mark Gungor - Men's Sex Drive[/ame]

[RoyalOrleans]

The last time I cried was on March 17th 1992 around 1800 hours when I fell backwards off a platform, crashed through the weathered OSB, and landed butt first in the rock and sand.

 

I had a full pack of Marlboros in my back pocket, crushed beyond recognition... along with my coccyx.

 

-----------------------

 

I can't watch a man cry. It's pathetic.

[atlantic]

Ali you need a man like BCAR, strong on the outside, kind on the inside.

[RoyalOrleans]

Ali you need a man like BCAR, strong on the outside, kind on the inside.

 

Ali needs Mr. Clean.

 

And Mr. Clean needs Ali.

 

Together they'd have a clean, sanitized home and she can oil up his bald head.

[ren]

What we need is Chuck Norris!

[emkay64]

Awww Snaf...I'm not saying an emotional moment is out of line. Although flat out, big braying sobs and snot bubbles kinda makes my skin crawl. However, I'm a frosty b tch so it just stands to reason. A tear shed here and there is human, but I don't think I could handle crying over every minute detail.

 

TJ--I guess it could be subjective. Tuned in...hmmm....

 

Sensitive to the needs of others. If my man voices concern over let's say a woman coming into work with battle wounds every day and voices he'd like to do something about it. I say he's sensitive. If he comes home and bawls over the plight of the woman...too sensitive.

 

Sensitive to the needs of children. If my man wants to make a monetarial contribution or volunteer for the make a wish foundation..he's sensitive. If he bawls over every telethon story..too sensitive.

 

Sensitive to me. If my man sees I got my hair done and he says it looks nice or does anything...grunts his approval or what have you. He's sensitive. If he notices my haircut and cries because he feels that hair feel pain and is lamenting my follicular loss..too sensitive.

 

These are just for instances...there are hundreds more...but I think you get the jist. I'm not going to split hairs here. It is perfectly acceptable to cry..warranted circumstances dictate. However blubbering uncontrollably, loudly and dramatically I find irritating, uncomfortable and laughable no matter if it's male or female.

[timesjoke]

I figured that was what you meant but I was just being sure, I agree with you completely and I have always tried to be that kind of guy who is concerned and attentive enough to be proactive but not to let myself be crippled into inaction or otherwise hampered in my day to day life by emotional weakness.

 

That is why I spoke of loving the person you see in the mirror, in many ways I think those who are brittle emotionally on external things are also brittle on the inside from personal distress. If your secure in your own skin, and can be proud of who you really are, then you can both love yourself and be loved by someone else in a healthy relationship of equals.

[Ahhlee]

I love myself. I'm just cautious about inviting another into my realm of craziness and insatiable sex unless I know he can truly handle it.

 

Hehe.

[ren]

Want to hear something unbelievable? It goes with the sensitivity bit. I haven't been working enough and so I don't have a lot of money. Anyway my car bit the dust and I've been living without one for a few months, bumming rides etc.

Well this male friend (and just a friend) decided he was tired of seen Paige and I live without a car so he bought me a car today. I am overwhelmed. No strings, just kindness. A tear came to my eye. No not the sobbing snot bubbles but I was so moved. I was just grateful when people would take me places. I sure didn't see this. Both he and I are blessed.

[emkay64]

Want to hear something unbelievable? It goes with the sensitivity bit. I haven't been working enough and so I don't have a lot of money. Anyway my car bit the dust and I've been living without one for a few months, bumming rides etc.

Well this male friend (and just a friend) decided he was tired of seen Paige and I live without a car so he bought me a car today. I am overwhelmed. No strings, just kindness. A tear came to my eye. No not the sobbing snot bubbles but I was so moved. I was just grateful when people would take me places. I sure didn't see this. Both he and I are blessed.

 

I've had no vehicle for a year and 4 months. I'm starting to go a little crazy living in my mole hole. What's that guys phone number, or name, I see a facebook friend request coming.

[timesjoke]

Want to hear something unbelievable? It goes with the sensitivity bit. I haven't been working enough and so I don't have a lot of money. Anyway my car bit the dust and I've been living without one for a few months, bumming rides etc.

Well this male friend (and just a friend) decided he was tired of seen Paige and I live without a car so he bought me a car today. I am overwhelmed. No strings, just kindness. A tear came to my eye. No not the sobbing snot bubbles but I was so moved. I was just grateful when people would take me places. I sure didn't see this. Both he and I are blessed.

 

 

 

This is a great story, it is pretty cool to hear real life stories of people doing good things just because it is good.