The perfect first date

[timesjoke]

TJ.. this thread was about 1st dates.. not moving a relationship to the next level..and that's what you were talking about in your first post.."get to know each other".. now you say this..

 

What do you believe a 1st date is? If not an attempt for something romantic then what? A booty call?

If you believe their self esteem is so low that they will sleep with a stranger on the first date then why would you want romance with someone like that?

 

When I mention getting to know each other I mean more than a friendship or casual relationship would be Wez, sharing dreams and beliefs not normally shared with just any 'familure stranger' you may know.

 

 

 

Now the story changes when people don't agree with you.. seems you're talking in circles..

Or maybe we juat have different ideas of what is called a date and your just trying to be overly critical......considering your past that last makes the most sense.

 

 

 

Again I guess I am just missing the new agre of dating where everythign is rush, rush, rush without any middle ground, you guys think dating is meeting a stranger, go out on a "date" then screw, well what I shared was my idea of a date based on where I would be and how I would do things leading up to a date, I am not part of the "booty call" generation.

[Ahhlee]

Perfect first dates equal no pressure. I'm uncomfortable with intense, stare in your eyes close talkers. Let's go watch a ball game, go go-karting, play mini golf, anything that gets us a chance to talk and laugh and let things be light. I don't want to hear about every past relationship or listen to whining about how he got screwed over. I just want it to be fun. Then if things go well, let's go get something to eat...nothing formal...I don't want to sit in formal clothing, talking all quiet and sitting stuck in front of someone I don't know. Save formal for later when we are more comfortable. I'd rather be taken to a dive with great food, take our stuff and eat on the grass somewhere, or lets go get some groceries and cook dinner together. I wanna go home played out with a sore stomach from laughing hard. If I'm comfortable and at ease there is very little I wouldn't be up for

 

A movie first date is fukkin lame. It means "hey let's not talk and can you give me a hand job?" No fukkin thanks!

 

Alice in Wonderland was fantastic! On shrooms would be a hoot!

 

I could SO go on a kick ass first date with emkay. Then she's my soul mate, so that's no big surprise there.

 

 

Most people are on good behavior the first date. It takes time to understand if they are compatible with you. I wouldn't want to be that isolated on a first date. I kinda like people around till I get to really know a person.

 

I agree. Keep it public and don't take me out on International waters, please....not until I know you better.

[emkay64]

"Again I guess I am just missing the new agre of dating where everythign is rush, rush, rush without any middle ground, you guys think dating is meeting a stranger, go out on a "date" then screw, well what I shared was my idea of a date based on where I would be and now I would do things leading up to a date, I am not part of the "booty call" generation."

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I never said that. I don't think anyone is talking about "screwing" on the first date. I assumed a first date to mean the first time I went out with a person. The getting to know you stage. Am I right, or am I a sammich short of a picnic?

[Ahhlee]

"Again I guess I am just missing the new agre of dating where everythign is rush, rush, rush without any middle ground, you guys think dating is meeting a stranger, go out on a "date" then screw, well what I shared was my idea of a date based on where I would be and now I would do things leading up to a date, I am not part of the "booty call" generation."

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I never said that. I don't think anyone is talking about "screwing" on the first date. I assumed a first date to mean the first time I went out with a person. The getting to know you stage. Am I right, or am I a sammich short of a picnic?

 

 

You're right. Everyone else seems to be on the same page, - 1.

[emkay64]

My first date I was 12. We all went as a group to Pizza Hut. Then went to a movie. After the date he gave me a giant Hershey Kiss (it's chocolate people!!!) and I got my first real kiss from a boy. We never screwed though.

[Chi]

The perfect 1st date for me would be almost anything with someone you're compatible with and doing stuff you would both enjoy. I also wouldn't like going to the movies on a first date as mentioned before, you can't really talk and get to know eachother that way. Plus it's uncomfortable sitting next to someone for that long without saying much and not knowing eachother that well. I also like to occasionally cuddle up and hold hands while watching a movie (so what, if I'm corny like that!!) and you can't do that with someone who isn't even your bf.

[timesjoke]

I never said that. I don't think anyone is talking about "screwing" on the first date. I assumed a first date to mean the first time I went out with a person. The getting to know you stage. Am I right, or am I a sammich short of a picnic?

 

Well as usual my old school morals get in the way of understanding the question, obviously that is my fault for not keeping up with the times.

 

To me spending time to get to know each other's names, where you work, basic history is not really a date, to me a date is about romance, love, special time shared with someone you already know the basics about and want to see if you can cultivate some romance. I could never "date" (try to be romantic) with someone I did not already consider a basic friend first.

 

 

 

And just to say it again I was not saying to be alone, I cannot run a 50 foot sailboat by myself, there would be at least three staff on the boat with us.

[emkay64]

Well as usual my old school morals get in the way of understanding the question, obviously that is my fault for not keeping up with the times.

 

To me spending time to get to know each other's names, where you work, basic history is not really a date, to me a date is about romance, love, special time shared with someone you already know the basics about and want to see if you can cultivate some romance. I could never "date" (try to be romantic) with someone I did not already consider a basic friend first.

 

 

 

And just to say it again I was not saying to be alone, I cannot run a 50 foot sailboat by myself, there would be at least three staff on the boat with us.

 

Your morals aren't old school. I think you are misunderstanding the meaning of the word date. Where do you get to know someone? Only at work etc? I'm confused. In the beginning I would want to have fun with someone..there is no romantic implication on the first date. I just don't know how you get to know someone without taking them out for a little fun just the two of you.

[RoyalOrleans]

I never really thought of it that way but you're right. I think dinner and a nice walk somewhere .If the weather is bad you can go to an art gallery depending if you live somewhere that supports one. I had one guy invite me to watch him act on stage even. I was completely delighted and entertained. Being creative gets points in my book and it doesn't have to be expensive.

 

Ren... I am always right. And I'm not one of these people who has to be right all of the time... it just works out that way.

[RoyalOrleans]

Hey Dick. You know me pretty well and are aware of what a notorious pain in the ass I am. Where would you take me on a first date?

 

I would take you sailing.

[Chi]

Ren... I am always right. And I'm not one of these people who has to be right all of the time... it just works out that way.

[timesjoke]

Your morals aren't old school. I think you are misunderstanding the meaning of the word date. Where do you get to know someone? Only at work etc? I'm confused. In the beginning I would want to have fun with someone..there is no romantic implication on the first date. I just don't know how you get to know someone without taking them out for a little fun just the two of you.

So you date people you do not want to be romantic with?

 

Everyone I have dated I knew first in one form or another, either from church, a brancing job (never get your honey from the same place you get your money) where I see them all the time, political groups, school pta meetings and even our local builders association meetings or county commissioner meetings. Tami had been a regular member to three of the things I do on a regular basis. We knew each other for over 4 years before we ever spent time talking about each other and being friends first. We met up on various things like a political trip to lobby our State legislature together but I would not call any of that stuff a "DATE".

 

Even when we were closer friends and had lunch together or shopping for a mutual friend in Halmark that was not what I would call a "DATE".

 

We had discussed maybe doing more for months before we finally set an actual "DATE" where we would persue something more. That first "DATE" was very special to both of us, we still talk about how that decision was very much like starting over, like a fork in the road where we both decided to travel down a turn we had always avoided before. But my point on this is before I was comfortable enough to go on what I considered a "DATE" I already knew all about this woman as a friend, so we did not have to spend the majority of the time explaining who we were or what we did, or what our hobbies were, or how many children we had, or what television we liked, or what kinds of pets we owned, or where we grew up, or what color was our favorite...........

 

Friends, then lovers instead of the more modern lovers, then if your lucky friends.

[Ahhlee]

Your morals aren't old school. I think you are misunderstanding the meaning of the word date. Where do you get to know someone? Only at work etc? I'm confused. In the beginning I would want to have fun with someone..there is no romantic implication on the first date. I just don't know how you get to know someone without taking them out for a little fun just the two of you.

 

I don't get that, either. I've been asked out on dates by guys who weren't in my immediate social circle because they wanted to get to know me and perhaps see if they could impress me and romance me a tiny bit while they're at it.

 

I guess I view "dating" and "seeing someone" as two different animals.

 

 

I would take you sailing.

 

:o

[Ahhlee]

So you date people you do not want to be romantic with?

 

Everyone I have dated I knew first in one form or another, either from church, a brancing job (never get your honey from the same place you get your money) where I see them all the time, political groups, school pta meetings and even our local builders association meetings or county commissioner meetings. Tami had been a regular member to three of the things I do on a regular basis. We knew each other for over 4 years before we ever spent time talking about each other and being friends first. We met up on various things like a political trip to lobby our State legislature together but I would not call any of that stuff a "DATE".

 

Even when we were closer friends and had lunch together or shopping for a mutual friend in Halmark that was not what I would call a "DATE".

 

We had discussed maybe doing more for months before we finally set an actual "DATE" where we would persue something more. That first "DATE" was very special to both of us, we still talk about how that decision was very much like starting over, like a fork in the road where we both decided to travel down a turn we had always avoided before. But my point on this is before I was comfortable enough to go on what I considered a "DATE" I already knew all about this woman as a friend, so we did not have to spend the majority of the time explaining who we were or what we did, or what our hobbies were, or how many children we had, or what television we liked, or what kinds of pets we owned, or where we grew up, or what color was our favorite...........

 

Friends, then lovers instead of the more modern lovers, then if your lucky friends.

 

You hear that, RO? We're already friends so you better bring your romantic A game to our date because small talk is prohibited! I expect roses, gooey reams of poetry, violins, the finest champagne and the releasing of 100 white doves at an opportune moment.

[emkay64]

You hear that, RO? We're already friends so you better bring your romantic A game to our date because small talk is prohibited! I expect roses, gooey reams of poetry, violins, the finest champagne and the releasing of 100 white doves at an opportune moment.

 

You release doves during an orgasm? Perhaps we define "opportune moment" differently.

 

TJ--I don't know if I have romantic intentions on the first date. I may find them repellent when I am alone with them. The dating IS the getting to know someone. If we decide to get it on..social cues are pretty easy to read when someone is into it. So yes...first date...I may not be interested in any amorous situations. The whole idea is to find out if WE do.

[timesjoke]

You hear that, RO? We're already friends so you better bring your romantic A game to our date because small talk is prohibited! I expect roses, gooey reams of poetry, violins, the finest champagne and the releasing of 100 white doves at an opportune moment.

lol, well that is certainly some options, of course small talk is allowed, but one would consider a friend already knows most of the basics about you being as your their friend....right?

 

 

 

I'm sorry guys, I know I am not fitting in well with this discussion because I just do not understand the whole 'stranger date' thing. I offered what I thought was a good first date, I had no idea that was a reason to flame me about what I liked, I thought the question was about what each of us liked, not trying to fit into what someone else thought was good. Someone should have warned me that my opinion was not welcome so we could avoid all the attacks on me as a horrible person for daring to stick to my own definition of where a real "DATE" starts in the human relationship scenario.

 

 

Again, I am sorry.

[emkay64]

lol, well that is certainly some options, of course small talk is allowed, but one would consider a friend already knows most of the basics about you being as your their friend....right?

 

 

 

I'm sorry guys, I know I am not fitting in well with this discussion because I just do not understand the whole 'stranger date' thing. I offered what I thought was a good first date, I had no idea that was a reason to flame me about what I liked, I thought the question was about what each of us liked, not trying to fit into what someone else thought was good. Someone should have warned me that my opinion was not welcome so we could avoid all the attacks on me as a horrible person for daring to stick to my own definition of where a real "DATE" starts in the human relationship scenario.

 

 

Again, I am sorry.

 

Oh Mylanta!

[RoyalOrleans]

You hear that, RO? We're already friends so you better bring your romantic A game to our date because small talk is prohibited! I expect roses, gooey reams of poetry, violins, the finest champagne and the releasing of 100 white doves at an opportune moment.

 

Would you settle for finches?

[RoyalOrleans]

I'm sorry guys, I know I am not fitting in well with this discussion because I just do not understand the whole 'stranger date' thing.

 

What's there to understand?

[Ahhlee]

lol, well that is certainly some options, of course small talk is allowed, but one would consider a friend already knows most of the basics about you being as your their friend....right?

 

 

 

I'm sorry guys, I know I am not fitting in well with this discussion because I just do not understand the whole 'stranger date' thing. I offered what I thought was a good first date, I had no idea that was a reason to flame me about what I liked, I thought the question was about what each of us liked, not trying to fit into what someone else thought was good. Someone should have warned me that my opinion was not welcome so we could avoid all the attacks on me as a horrible person for daring to stick to my own definition of where a real "DATE" starts in the human relationship scenario.

 

 

Again, I am sorry.

 

TJ, you're over reacting....make yourself a nice cup of tea, sit down, relax and breathe. Feel better? Good.

 

 

Would you settle for finches?

 

NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eddo]

I can understand where TJ is coming from here- and I can appreciate what he is saying.

 

To me, dating is someone that I already know on some level, and am trying to see if there is something more worth pursuing- almost more like courting of the old days. My views on dating are pretty conservative, though.

 

I don't "date" just to go have a good time. I can go have a good time to have a good time and hang with people, and there is no pressure there. If we want to see if there is more, then "dating" comes into play.

 

unfortunately, I have a very hard time moving past the "friends" phase of a relationship and into a "dating" phase. Well, I don't have a hard time with it, but the women folk in my life sure seem to....

[Ahhlee]

I can understand where TJ is coming from here- and I can appreciate what he is saying.

 

To me, dating is someone that I already know on some level, and am trying to see if there is something more worth pursuing- almost more like courting of the old days. My views on dating are pretty conservative, though.

 

I don't "date" just to go have a good time. I can go have a good time to have a good time and hang with people, and there is no pressure there. If we want to see if there is more, then "dating" comes into play.

 

unfortunately, I have a very hard time moving past the "friends" phase of a relationship and into a "dating" phase. Well, I don't have a hard time with it, but the women folk in my life sure seem to....

 

Awwww, how about I take you on a date to Regina and show you the ropes? Literally.

[emkay64]

Awwww, how about I take you on a date to Regina and show you the ropes? Literally.

 

Regina sucks! I've been there. Now I've probably stepped into a private joke that is no doubt sexual and I look like Ren with her buggery comments. Oh well..lucky I'm A-OK with making a fool of myself. Ohhhh...I also knew a Regina...but it was pronounced Regeena...not Ragina

[Ahhlee]

Regina sucks! I've been there. Now I've probably stepped into a private joke that is no doubt sexual and I look like Ren with her buggery comments. Oh well..lucky I'm A-OK with making a fool of myself. Ohhhh...I also knew a Regina...but it was pronounced Regeena...not Ragina

 

Yes, it's an inside joke of an EXTREMELY sexual nature. You know how lusty eddo is!

[eddo]

Regina has ropes!!!!!

 

That's AWESOME!!!!

 

 

I wish my city had some ropes...

 

if Regina has diet decaf Mt Dew, I may just take you up on that.