Why It Is Better To be A Woman

[Outlaw2747]

Something I found on someone's MySpace blog. (she was actually picking it apart as opposed to supporting it)

 

 

1. We got off the Titanic first.

 

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

 

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

 

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

 

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

 

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

 

7. Taxis stop for us.

 

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

 

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

 

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

 

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

 

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

 

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

 

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

 

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

 

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

 

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

 

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

 

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

 

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

 

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

 

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

 

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

 

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

 

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

 

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

 

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

 

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

 

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

 

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

[Phantom]

Most of those reasons are so meaningless that even a list of 30 doesn't make having periods worth it.

[builder]

I'll use my red pencil to pick this apart.

 

Something I found on someone's MySpace blog. (she was actually picking it apart as opposed to supporting it)

 

 

1. We got off the Titanic first.

 

If you were a member of the upper echelon. The steerage class passengers all died.

 

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

 

You're assuming that all systems support staff are men. They aren't.

 

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

 

I look stunning in purple stockings and a G-string.

 

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

 

Groupies are dumb shits. Who would want to be one?

 

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

 

Not likely. I can threaten harrassment, and follow through.

 

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

 

Despite the cum stains all over the TV, I don't either.

 

7. Taxis stop for us.

 

In your dreams, they do.

 

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

 

Now that we've got your lazy arses off the couch, and into the workforce, this will change.

 

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

 

Says you? LOL. Who are the feted dancers of the last century? Nureyev?

 

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

 

No wonder you sit by the phone, growing cobwebs. get with the program.

 

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

 

You're gay. Get over it.

 

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

 

She's gay too. Get over it.

 

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

Wrap your lips around my joystick, and I'll give you a new lease on life.

 

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

 

It's the cellulite? Don't be ashamed. Fat arses like yours are everywhere.

 

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

 

Nope, but saving it up leads to brain farts. Blokes don't get those.

 

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

 

We wonder if you've crabs, because of he constant scratching.

 

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

 

We wish you would. With both hands.

 

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

 

How big are those sunglasses gonna get? We call them face shields.

 

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

 

Again, we wish you would, but I get the whole penis envy thing. No, really I do.

 

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

 

Yup, we're into dumb furry animals. All of us are.

 

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

 

It's Happy Gilmore now. Try to keep up.

 

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

 

Very badly at times.

 

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

 

You're missing out. Or lying profusely.

 

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

 

Tell that to Demi Moore.

 

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

Who eats that shit anyways? Popeye perhaps?

 

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

 

I wouldn't admit to that, but now that you've said it, it's out there.

 

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

 

I don't either. Only the one ear, mind you.

 

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

And that, Scarlett, is why we know you're a shallow waste of space.

 

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

 

I look for the tide mark on my appendage to see who sucked me off last.

 

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

 

But you are lost all the time. It becomes a habit to ask.

[KathyA]

I will use my ultra-gay plum pencil to tear this apart..

 

 

 

1. We got off the Titanic first.

 

This is an unfortunate fact. And too bad really, we as women were born with natural flotation devices.

 

 

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

 

I have actually never had the pleasure of flirting with anyone from tech support.. Although at times I have used words like fuck you and asshole, during these kinds of conversations..

 

 

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

 

I will be the first to admit it. I can absolutely pull off wearing men's boxers. And look good in them. But yet I have never found anything even remotely entertaining when its roll reversal time. I have never seen a guy look hot in a little red nighty.

 

 

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

 

Groupies are just whores in the making.. Stalkers are people who wish that their prey was a whore..

 

 

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

 

I have never paid a fine in my life.. So this must be true..

 

 

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

 

True, very true!

 

 

7. Taxis stop for us.

 

Wouldn't know. I have never been in one.

 

 

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

 

By the time this happens, we're to old to remember who held the policy in the first place

 

 

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

 

Most men that I know can not dance.. So this one is true

 

 

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

 

Maybe I have been out of the dating scene too long. But the money is always held by me, which means I pay for everything.. Who cares where it actually comes from..

 

 

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

 

I have never been the hugging type.. So again, I do not know.

 

 

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

 

Refer to question above

 

 

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

 

I wouldn't say a whole new lease on life. But it can make things interesting.

 

 

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

 

Group showers are so over-rated.. What happened to the good ole' fashion one on one showers..One guy one girl.

 

 

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

 

I have to agree with this. It is pretty disgusting

 

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

 

True, but no man wants legs hairier than his own rubbing against him.

 

 

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

 

No, I probably wouldn't touch another woman's ass in a congratulatory fashion.

 

 

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

Again, this is true.

 

 

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

 

I didn't think anyone would want to see a woman scratch herself continuously..

 

 

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

 

A common misconception. Most men are completely turned off by a stupid woman..

 

 

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

 

This is to bad. Because I can. I wish someone would have told me sooner.

 

 

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

 

Most women can not manage this..

 

 

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

 

Yeah, but it takes all the fun out of everything.

 

 

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

 

I don't like younger men myself. So this does not apply..

 

 

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

 

Never eat spinach in public, its a golden rule.

 

 

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

 

Not here, all it can do is cause problems..

 

 

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

 

Again, true!

 

 

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

I sure as hell can't. Maybe I missed that day in my "woman 101" class..

 

 

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

 

I won't argue this..

 

 

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

 

No comment!

[Phantom]

No need to analyze these one by one like the two of you. All I have to say is this: Women can masturbate and climax without needing a stack of towels to clean up afterwards. Enough said.

[builder]

You'd be mistaken, Phantom. Men can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating.

 

The Tao teaches this method. I'm surprised it's not in common practise yet.

[phreakwars]

The GAYNEZZ, The GAYNEZZ

 

 

 

.

.

[THE BITCH]

you forgot that only us women can have multiple orgasms

[hugo]

you forgot that only us women can have multiple orgasms

 

False.......

[fullauto]

you forgot that only us women can have multiple orgasms

 

I have had as many as 5 in a night....I was younger then, but it still happened

 

and I know some guys who have at least 2 everytime...

 

sorry... you must need to work on your technique

[manicmonday]

you forgot that only us women can have multiple orgasms

 

Wrong. Rare, but it can happen.

[THE BITCH]

Having a multiple orgasm and being a repeater is not the same thing

[ParasiteGod]

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

 

Bullshit, yes I have.

I'm gonna go watch Beavis and Butthead now.

[manicmonday]

Having a multiple orgasm and being a repeater is not the same thing

 

 

I've made a man have multiple orgasm. Yes, it is RARE, but it can happen. If you haven't made a man have multiple orgasm, maybe you need to rethink the your game strategy.

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

1. We got off the Titanic first.

 

The fact that we had less of a chance of getting gassed in Auchwitz balances this out

 

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

 

And us guys can make you the object of our fantasies that are probably illegal to have while we jerk off after work

 

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

 

I just so happen to think girls look ridiculous when they show answer the door wearing nothing but my KMFDM T-shirt. Oh and a few million emo kids will disagree on the idea that they look like idiots in your outfits

 

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

 

Usually glorified whores are looked down upon

 

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

 

I use public transportation..therefore speeding fines are not a problem

 

 

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

 

How does this contribute to why it's better to be a woman? I quite enjoy getting off on hot cartoon and videogame chickies

 

7. Taxis stop for us.

 

Us too

 

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

 

We die earlier and don't have to put up with the nagging that seems persistant amongst old hens

 

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

 

We don't look like 15 year old sluts when we dance

 

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

 

The point I get is that women are cheap fucking cunts with no self respect

 

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

 

We don't need to hug our friends

 

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

 

see above

 

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

 

I'd appreciate it if you would stop making a rainbow on my dick

 

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

 

I've never taken a group shower

 

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

 

Neither do we after we turn 12

 

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

 

But we do see and know. and it's fucking gross, now get rid of the fucking mustache and hairy underpits, you fucking wookie

 

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

 

Instead you wait until you go clubbing, so what difference does it make?

 

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

 

We just take the thirty seconds to squeeze the bugger

 

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

 

We know they're there. If something itches we scratch it. Get used to it

 

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

 

No, we think it's annoying

 

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

 

We don't have to SO MUCH WATCH Sweet November or Bridges of Madisson Country to fit in

 

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

 

No you don't. You use fashion mags to tell you what to wear

 

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

 

So can we...We just like to do so

 

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

 

And when do it it gives us unlimited bragging rights

 

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

 

We don't give a shit if we have spinach in our teeth

 

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

 

Not being a fat ass is now a problem?

 

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears

 

I know guys who are COVERED in piercings...nuff said

 

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

 

This coming from someone who thinks its wrong to be affixiated with cartoon babes? How in the motherfucked hell are shoes sexy and alluring?

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

 

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

 

Some of us consider getting lost to be half the fun. Thats when we spend the rest of the day putting the moves on you

[THE BITCH]

I've made a man have multiple orgasm. Yes, it is RARE, but it can happen. If you haven't made a man have multiple orgasm, maybe you need to rethink the your game strategy.

 

 

Sorry i have never tried my stratergy with a man but i know plenty of women who have and say the same thing men don't have multiples

[Outlaw2747]

Yes he can, he can separate orgasm from ejacutlation and do it several times with the right knowledge and practices. The book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" even gives a bunch of tips on how to make your sex the best experience. It is anatomically possible.

[Chi]

Sorry i have never tried my stratergy with a man but i know plenty of women who have and say the same thing men don't have multiples

Trust me, YES they can.

[fullauto]

not only are we capable, but we want it!

 

The only problem I find, is that MOST women are incredibly LAZY in bed...

 

First one - that's the maintanance cum

2nd one - that's for the lady

3rd - that's the one the lady needs to work for... better be inventive, and a bit freaky

4th - that's the one that lady's prove something with.. If you can do that, men will cling to you like ferril dogs that found a food source

5th - rarely achieved... but possible... woman have to REALLy want to give that one...

 

Problem is, women are lazy in bed... half the women I have been with, I don't know whether to keep trying or throw some dirt on them and say a fucking eulogy!

 

and another thing... Women will always parrot some shit they heard Oprah or Dr Phil say... Like "don't fuck my pussy, Make love to my whole body!". which I agree with, but why then do women insist on using nothing on thier body but that hole! ESPECIALLY if it is all blown out from years on the front lines! You want me to enjoy your whole body, and not just your hole, USE YOUR WHOLE BODY, and not just your hole!

 

I laugh my ass off when ever a woman says men are selfish in bed... if they only knew what ran through our heads when we are done...

 

Ever wonder why married men still jerk off?!

Ever wonder why married men run around?!

 

Life is self-similar across scale... Like the planets orbiting to the electron of an atom... In the world, the men do all the work... Same in the bedroom!

 

Guys... next time your in bed with a coffin-lay, just lay there and make demands... they might enjoy it ONCE... Do it again... just keep doing it... after 2 weeks or so, when they bring it up... Ask them if they like it?

[Phantom]

Are you guys saying men can have more than one orgasm during a sexual encounter (as in after a small break) or are you guys saying a man, before his orgasm has ended, can actually peak again and again and again before a single orgasmic experiences is over?

[fullauto]

Are you guys saying men can have more than one orgasm during a sexual encounter (as in after a small break) or are you guys saying a man, before his orgasm has ended, can actually peak again and again and again before a single orgasmic experiences is over?

 

both... try it some time... you man will thank you...

[Chi]

Are you guys saying men can have more than one orgasm during a sexual encounter (as in after a small break) or are you guys saying a man, before his orgasm has ended, can actually peak again and again and again before a single orgasmic experiences is over?

Um, I don't know what they are referring to, but I think both are possible.

[Phantom]

Alright then. I knew a man could have an orgasm after a little break during sexual episodes but I did not know consecutive orgasms were possible for men.

[fullauto]

Alright then. I knew a man could have an orgasm after a little break during sexual episodes but I did not know consecutive orgasms were possible for men.

 

that's the problem... there doesn't always need to be a break... and even if there is, you should be doing things during it to keep the mood from slipping...

 

We need a break becuase we use MANY muscles during sex (unlike women)... the break is a physical break... like after you jog a mile... but that doesn't mean we want to read the paper... do something... just because it's done throbbing doesn't mean it doesn't feel good anymore...

[manicmonday]

 

and another thing... Women will always parrot some shit they heard Oprah or Dr Phil say... Like "don't fuck my pussy, Make love to my whole body!". which I agree with, but why then do women insist on using nothing on thier body but that hole! ESPECIALLY if it is all blown out from years on the front lines! You want me to enjoy your whole body, and not just your hole, USE YOUR WHOLE BODY, and not just your hole!

 

 

 

And these are the women I truly feel sorry for, because while "making love" is fabulous, sex also needs to include the whole body. Women who haven't embraced the fact that if they enjoy an orgasm or even better, make their partner enjoy more than one orgasm, they are not a slut. Use your body, that is what is there for. (Not in a perverted Nazzhead way, but an enjoyable way that makes you appreciate being a woman.)

 

I actually feel bad for women who are prohibited in the bedroom. Sex is supposed to be a fantastic experience, not just get it off and get it over with.