Grocery Stores: wtf

[ParasiteGod]

Why is it people at the grocery store feel the need to walk down the middle of the aisles? The aisles are double wide to allow more shoppers into the aisles. They are not double wide to accomodate your triple fat ass.

Here's the deal. I need a box of cereal. I would like to be able to enter the cereal aisle today, not a week from now.

And they have the audacity to ask me to move over so they can get by? Uhm... I'm back up against a shelf because you're walking down the middle of the aisle. Where is it you want me to go? Would you like me to climb up the shelf? Is there something up there on top that you need, so you're attempting to trick me into going up there? Is that the deal?

 

Also, people need to control their children. One child, if you have taught it some manners, is not that hard to keep in line. Two, maybe. Are you not, like, paying attention to your kids? When I'm at one end of the aisle, and you're at the other, that is not an invitation to your children to come and bother me. Yes, my jewelry and piercings are shiny. Yes, I am aware of the skeleton dangling from my ear. Yes, there is a hole in my pantleg. And what are your kids watching that I remind them of their favorite character? If one more erraticly moving child runs into me I will kill somebody.

 

And just a quick question: What is that on top of the pastries in the bakery? Is that... broken glass?

[Jhony5]

Try working in one. I spend 48+ hours a week in a grocery store. I handle complaints from customers every night that range from real stupid questions to WTF are you fucking retarded questions. Women are the only ones that ever complain about my guys working in the aisles. For some reason men respect the workers but the women don't. I only offer them one explanation for the inconvenience. "Lady, its 2:30 in the morning".

 

And just a quick question: What is that on top of the pastries in the bakery? Is that... broken glass?

I have no clue what you're talking about here.

[builder]

Simple solution. Get really drunk, then go shopping. Crash your cart into as many other carts as you possibly can, while laughing like a lunatic.

[Phantom]

Tell me if you have ever seen this:

 

And entire herd of family members all going to the store together. Now, I'm not talking about a father, mother, and children. I'm talking about the grandparents, parents, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, in laws, friends, and neighbors. For some reason, going to the grocery store down here is like a freaking family outing for these people. Navigating around them is impossible.

[builder]

Whatcha do with those big groups is, keep dropping things in their trolley, like bulk packs of condoms.

[debsuk]

I work in asda( which is wank) i have never seen so many fucking stupid people in all my life,i do nights,lol,dumb arsed, un-educated,dirty and smelly,vicky pollard wanna be's who only dare come out at night,with gross kids in tow( they look like they have been inter- breed,the mongs) buyin all the reduced crap and smart priced junk,they also smell of chip fat, oh and sweat,it makes me sick! also 1 or 2 of um have to use mobility scooters cos they are so fat,they are only bout 30 odd yrs old,i swear i see them on a peter kay sketch,"i want that one" the fucking mingers, best part of it they think they are so cool, one dork i saw had the biggest gold chain on, (will be in debt till he dies paying for it) but he had lovely shell suit on and dunlop plastic trainers on,whats with that eh lol,he was wanting people to look at him,what a lovely smile he had,pity he had black teeth!!

[Jhony5]

Tell me if you have ever seen this:

 

And entire herd of family members all going to the store together. Now, I'm not talking about a father, mother, and children. I'm talking about the grandparents, parents, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, in laws, friends, and neighbors. For some reason, going to the grocery store down here is like a freaking family outing for these people. Navigating around them is impossible.

I've seen it all. Shoplifters with down-syndrome. An elderly man that shit on my sales floor. A drunk guy urinating in the produce department because our facilities were temporarily being cleaned. The salvation army bellringer and a random schizo fist fighting over who gets to sit on the bench. Employees smoking dope out of a coke can in the break-room. A direct hit from a tornado. A teenager trying to rob my night cashier with a squirt gun.

 

The only thing that really bothers me anymore is the Mexicans.

[hugo]

Sorry about pissing in your produce department.

[RoyalOrleans]

Try working in one. I spend 48+ hours a week in a grocery store. I handle complaints from customers every night that range from real stupid questions to WTF are you fucking retarded questions. Women are the only ones that ever complain about my guys working in the aisles. For some reason men respect the workers but the women don't. I only offer them one explanation for the inconvenience. "Lady, its 2:30 in the morning".

 

I have no clue what you're talking about here.

 

I used to manage a grocery store. The weirdos are not exclusive to the nightshift. I mean, you get the freaks and burn-outs late in the evening / early morning. However, the dayshift you get elderly folk pairing off in the buggy corral for the electric cart.

 

A big, fat black mammy looking orangutan waddled up to me and asked "I need skrempths!". I replied "What kind of skrempths?". "The seafood kind!" she quipped.

[Komrade Vostok Hazard]

One thing that burns my ass about these places are the geriatrics who pile into the supermarket at 5:00 PM. They're retired so you'd figure they could take some time out of their busy schedule of doing nothing and go a bit earlier, but no, they have to go at the same time (namely the only time we have to go) as those of us who just got off work. yea sure it wouldn't be such a big deal, but they always seem to buy shit tonnes of items and TAKE THEM TO THE EXPRESS LANE. Do they not know what "15 items or less" means? And then they spend up to 15 minutes to count out change or write a cheque. Sorry but I haven't the patience for this shit

[ParasiteGod]

And then they spend up to 15 minutes to count out change or write a cheque. Sorry but I haven't the patience for this shit

Let's not forget those who insist on paying exact change.

[RoyalOrleans]

Let's not forget those who insist on paying exact change.

 

I always hated the old fogies that said things like "The sign back yonder says..." or "Wait! I have a coupon for that.".

[hugo]

Don't forget the slow walking wetback family.

[Jhony5]

I always hated the old fogies that said things like "The sign back yonder says..." or "Wait! I have a coupon for that.".

I had an elderly woman come in last week with a coupon for frozen orange-cranberry sauce. It expired in 1990. The paper was yellowed and cracking. It was kind of sad when you think about it.

[RoyalOrleans]

I had an elderly woman come in last week with a coupon for frozen orange-cranberry sauce. It expired in 1990. The paper was yellowed and cracking. It was kind of sad when you think about it.

 

Saddest of all, the old men who wear the big ass spectacle covering sunglasses.

[hugo]

when the line is equally long which clerk I choose, in order of preference.

 

1) White male

2) Hispanic male

3) White female

4) Black Male

5) Hispanic female

6) Black female

7) Fat female

 

Of course, if a gal's showing some cleavage it might upset my normal order of preference.